Translucent

by Beardsley, Nathaniel

  At 11:00, the police came to inform her of what had happened. Inform is perhaps the wrong word. They came to take her away with a short explanation without going into any detail, thinking a mere 10—year old wouldn’t understand, and putting her in a smelly car after giving her a few minutes to pack a bag. She was to be taken to an orphanage, where she’d spent the last five years of her life before she’d started over.

  It was an awful place, too. As one would expect an orphanage to be, it was filled with immature kids in pajamas and crabby old ladies who were the managers, though nobody quite knows why they wanted that job, since they all seem to hate children. The children were forced to perform useless tasks all day after school to keep them occupied so that they didn’t get into trouble. On her first night there, Karena was taken to a large room filled with bunks and was given a bunk near the middle of a row late at night, the exact same bunk she’d been given before. She laid down on the bed and closed her eyes, but she knew that she wasn’t going to try to sleep. Not with what had just happened. And not with what was going to happen. She’d known it was coming, but it didn’t lessen the blow that she’d have to spend the next five years of her life in this uncomfortable place. Already she was beginning to regret not having warned her parents about their death.

  Karena lay awake, and as the other children slept peacefully around her whereas, she, just like last time she’d been here, was unable to get rest. But this time, it was much, much worse.

  15

  Life in the orphanage was worse than she’d remembered it. In the past 9 years she’d gotten so used to living with her parents that she was just as unprepared for the orphanage as she’d been the first time she was sent there.

  Karena couldn’t count how many times she’d wished she’d saved her parents instead of just letting them die. How foolish she had been! How could she have thought that saving her parents’ lives wouldn’t benefit anybody? Sure, maybe things would have started over before long, but at least she’d still have had a better living situation for a while. It would have been a false comfort, true. It was fake, since she knew that the Sandman was coming again, but there was still no reason why she shouldn’t have warned her parents. It was amazing how quickly her thoughts changed on this after coming to the orphanage.

  She hadn’t told Shawn about her parents dying before it had happened. Now, however, she found it hard to find time to even see him. Escaping the close surveillance of the orphanage for a short while so that she could see him was something that happened quite rarely. But when she did finally see him for the first time after going to the orphanage, she was almost ashamed to tell him of her foolishness in not warning her parents. Things were exactly the same as before, even though she’d had the chance to change it, and she knew that he would have done the exact opposite as her.

  She was now 24 years old, and yet no one knew that. No one knew that the quiet girl in the orphanage was really a full grown adult who had been through her life twice. She didn’t try to make new friends at the orphanage. As far as she could tell, it would be better for her anyway if people knew the truth about her. Then she could leave the orphanage and live freely.

  But she knew she couldn’t tell people. She knew they either wouldn’t believe her, or they would take her to some sort of mental hospital, thinking she was in a state of trauma after her parents’ deaths, and that would be even worse than an orphanage. No, she’d just keep to herself, holding back everything except to Shawn, even though she seldom saw him.

  And so she didn’t speak to anyone. The days went on, and she persisted and didn’t give up, but that left her weak. Simply living through her life made her weak. But what was the alternative? There was none. She was never going to kill herself, that wasn’t even an option for her. She considered herself stronger than that. And so she was left no choice in the matter of living.

  16

  It was again a while before anything significant occurred that had to do with her situation. Three years, to be exact, when Karena was 27 years old, and her body was 13. Many things happened in the orphanage, and maybe she would’ve considered them important events in her old life, but not now. Now, no event was important to her unless it had to do with her situation and the Sandman.

  It happened one day when she met Shawn. She was slowly gaining freedom as she grew older, and now she was actually allowed to go outside with another person. Of course, no one wanted to go with her, as she had no friends at the orphanage, but she could just lie and say that she was with someone. And she got away with it, most of the time.

  All the same, she went to see Shawn for the first time in the last couple of months. Whenever they met, they didn’t always discuss something important that was going on. True, that was the main reason they met so often, so that they could have someone to tell everything to so they didn’t just have to have it all boil up inside themselves. But oftentimes they would just meet simply to have lunch and chat about whatever they felt like. Any insignificant thing that would, for the time being, let them forget about the Sandman. And more often than not they didn’t talk about anything, instead just sitting there in silence, which was perfectly fine for both of them. They grew so used to it that it wasn’t awkward in the least.

  But not today. Today, when Karena walked in, she could tell Shawn was distressed. He had a long face, one that looked much like the one he’d wore on the first day she’d met him, but it was more obvious now, more pronounced. His sorrow was clearly visible, and Karena knew something was wrong. And she thought she knew what it was.

  “He’s coming tomorrow,” Shawn said. “The Sandman is coming to take me.”

  Karena’s thoughts were confirmed. He’d said he always started over at 27, and he was 27 now. He knew the exact date and time he would be taken; it was the same every time. She knew that he must have been getting more anxious over the past few months when she wasn’t there, and she wished she’d been there more often, when it counted most.

  “I need you to come here tomorrow,” he said to her. “Because, in spite of the trauma I’m going to be experiencing, I need to test out a theory.”

  “What’s that?” Karena asked, her heart thumping. Was he saying he wanted her to see him when he disappeared?

  Shawn took a deep breath and a sip of water. He paused for a second, and then he took another sip of water, something he tended to do when anxious. And he was anxious most of the time. Finally, he spoke. “I need to know if you can see him too. I want to get as much information about him as possible, and this is something I’ve never been able to test. Normally, as I’m sure you know well, nobody else can see the Sandman. But you’ve seen him before, and you’ve been through your life twice because of him, and so maybe you will be able to see him as well as me.”

  Karena’s first thought was that there was no way on earth she wanted to see the Sandman tomorrow. The very thought of it caused a bubble of dread to rise into her throat, restricting her breathing. Nonetheless, she asked Shawn a question. “But what will this tell you?” Karena asked. “If I can see him or if I can’t, what would that even mean?”

  “I don’t know,” Shawn replied. “But this is all about little steps. I can only observe him in order to find out more information about him every 25 years, and so I need to use the time wisely. Every time I find something else out about him, the closer I am to potentially stopping this repetition and living a normal life.”

  “But, what will happen to me?” Karena asked. “After you’re gone, I mean. Will I see you again when I start over?”

  “I have no idea,” Shawn replied. “I have no idea about a lot of things. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying to find the answers.”

  “Well then,” Karena said. “See you tomorrow. What time should I come?”

  “I see him at 2:33 in the afternoon,” Shawn replied. “Come at around 2:00.”

  “I will then,” she said. “See you tomorrow.”

  Shawn nodded and took another sip. Karena stood up
and went out the door.

  And so she left, having scheduled an appointment as if it were for any ordinary event, and having said goodbye as if they were leaving each other in ordinary circumstances, when, in reality, tomorrow the Sandman would be in that very place.

  17

  Karena had a hard time getting out of the orphanage, as there was an excessive amount of pointless tasks to be done, and ended up having to actually sneak out, which was far from easy in the middle of the day. But she managed, and she came to Shawn’s house at around 2:15.

  She almost didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to risk seeing the Sandman again, watching someone else disappear. What if seeing him would cause her to disappear? What if she had to start over everything two years early? She had no idea what would happen.

  But she remembered what Shawn had said. Shawn had lived far, far longer than she, and if there was anyone who knew what he was talking about it was him. They needed to find out as much about the Sandman as they possibly could. She didn’t want to do it, but she did it anyway, for him.

  Shawn looked awful when she arrived. He clearly hadn’t gotten any sleep, and neither had she, but he looked like he hadn’t even tried to sleep. For her, there was only a chance that something bad could happen. For him, it was certain.

  They greeted each other, but it was a polite greeting. Neither of them said much for the 15 minutes before he would be taken. Shawn nervously sipped from a glass of water. The clock ticked away in the background, counting down to the moment when he would arrive.

  “You think you’d get used to it,” he said after a long silence. “You think you’d get used to becoming a baby and having to start your life over again and again. But you don’t. Every time, the shock is just as strong, if not stronger, and the dread is even greater every time. There is no way you can get used to it. Most things you get used to if they happen often enough, but not this. This is something that you can’t get used to, no matter how much it happens. I can’t really explain why. It’s something about him, something that he does to us to build up our fear. And it works incredibly well.”

  Karena looked at the clock. It was 2:30.

  “Get ready,” he said. “He’ll be coming in 3 minutes.”

  “How long will he stay?” Karena asked.

  “It’s different every time,” Shawn said. “But he doesn’t look at me until the very end. He just looks away with his hat pulled low. Last time he stayed for an hour before looking at me. Another time he only stayed for a few minutes. It’s completely unpredictable.”

  “OK,” Karena said. She wondered what it would be like if he stayed for an hour, just standing there for that long. Shawn would be panicking the whole time. She hoped he left quickly, so that it would all be over with.

  She looked at the clock. 2:32.

  Shawn shut his eyes. “Tell me when it’s time,” he said.

  Karena looked at the clock, counting down the seconds until 2:33. 10 seconds more. 5 seconds. 2.5 seconds. 1.25 seconds. 0.625 seconds.

  “It’s time,” she said.

  Shawn opened his eyes and his face went white. In a whisper so faint it could hardly be heard, even despite the silence in the room, he spoke. “He’s here.”

  Karena was afraid to look. She was afraid to see the Sandman’s face again. But she had no idea how long he’d be there, and she knew that she had to look. She looked.

  There was no one there.

  “Do you see him?” Shawn asked. “Do you see him!?” he practically screamed, shaking beyond control.

  “No,” she said quietly, not sure whether to be relieved or not. “No, I don’t.”

  “He’s standing right there,” Shawn said, gripping the sides of the chair violently as if he were on a roller coaster. “Right behind you, in the doorway.”

  Karena kept looking. “There’s no one there,” she confirmed.

  “Stop!” Shawn suddenly cried out, and he covered his face his hands, whimpering. Karena had never seen him like this before. Normally he was confident and sure, but now his demeanor had diminished and he looked utterly helpless, as if he were a baby. And indeed he would be a baby soon. He sunk down low, unmoving, and waited for the Sandman to take him.

  Suddenly, Karena had an idea. “Shawn,” she said. He didn’t move. “Shawn, I need you to look at him again.”

  “Why?” he asked, his voice muffled.

  “Because I need to test something out.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “Shawn, you said yourself that we needed to get as much information about him as possible. It’s the only way we might actually have a chance of getting anywhere. Look up!”

  Slowly, Shawn, overcoming his fear and trying to focus on reason, raised his head and looked. Instantly, the terrified look in his eyes grew worse.

  “Is he still standing in the doorway?” Karena asked.

  “Yes,” Shawn whispered. “Of course he is. He never moves except to follow me if I move.”

  “Ok, I need you to watch him.” Karena picked up the glass Shawn had been drinking out of and aimed at the doorway. She then, trying not to think about what she was actually doing, threw it. The glass went straight through the doorway and smashed on the floor behind it, breaking instantly.

  “Did you just see it go through him?” Karena asked Shawn, turning back around.

  Shawn’s eyes were fixed on the doorway like he was in a trance. “No,” he said. “He just caught it in his hands.”

  Karena whipped around to make sure she’d seen correctly. The glass was still on the floor, shattered into pieces, just as she’d seen it before. She turned back to Shawn. “Are you positive?” she asked. “You’re sure he caught it?”

  “Yes, I’m sure! I’m staring right at him!” He was gripping the chair even harder now.

  “What’s he doing now?” she asked.

  Shawn’s eyes grew wide. “The glass is changing. It’s morphing into a different shape, and the glass is becoming foggier, and the water is turning a different color and…” His voice faded away.

  “And what?” Karena asked desperately. “What!? I need to know!”

  “It’s an hourglass,” Shawn whispered. “It’s the hourglass.”

  Karena’s eyes grew wide. “How is that possible?” she muttered, not really to Shawn, but more to herself. “How can you be seeing something different than I am? What is he? Is he a ghost? No, he can’t be. Then you would’ve seen the glass go through him. How can he do this?”

  “He’s raising it up!” Shawn cried. “He’s lifting his finger. He’s tapping it!!!! He’s…”

  Karena was left alone, sitting in an empty room with nothing but a broken glass.

  18

  Karena lay awake, as usual. The day had been terrifying, and Shawn would be gone forever in this life, and maybe even in her next life, but she had information about the Sandman. Only the person who is a victim can see him, even if another person has seen him in the past. He cannot interact with objects except when viewed by the victim. To a viewer, it is impossible to detect his presence unless you are the victim.

  But what did all this mean? Did it even mean anything? How was she ever supposed to get out of this? She could find out all she could about him, but there was no guarantee that that would get her anywhere. There was no guarantee about anything really. That was why all she could do was do the best she could.

  Shawn was gone. She would have no one to talk to, no one to confide in, no one she could really trust. The other people would continue on with their lives normally, but not her. She was destined to see the Sandman. That was her fate, for as long as he decided it was.

  She had no idea if she would see Shawn in her next life. All she could do was hope.

  19

  2 years later…

  Karena had an appointment with the Sandman. It had been Shawn’s turn two years before, and now it was her turn.

  The last two years should have gone by slowly, after all, her living at the orphanage and with he
r desperately wanting out should have made it seem longer, especially with her anxiety building up the whole time. But the years went by as if they were in the snap of a finger, and now the day had arrived.

  She was with her friends, like last time. She didn’t know why she was with them. She hardly knew them. She was an outsider, and they probably found her a nuisance, tagging along. But they were friendly, though oftentimes annoyingly friendly, and let her come along. They even asked her where she wanted to go for lunch. She said anywhere but Quencher’s. They had wanted to go there, though they didn’t say that. Karena could tell, but they hid their annoyance. She wasn’t going back to that place. The deja-vu would be too strong. She would feel an even greater dread then she already was feeling if they walked through the front door of Quencher’s. So they went elsewhere, and sat down at a table, and ordered food.

  Karena didn’t want to look at her watch, but it was involuntary. She had to look at it. She looked at it. They were earlier than last time. The Sandman wasn’t coming for 15 more minutes. She broke into a cold sweat.

  Her friends asked her if she was okay. She said yes. They ordered their food. The thought of eating made Karena want to throw up, but she ordered a piece of pizza anyway. The food came. Everyone ate, except for Karena. There was hardly any time left until he arrived. Every few seconds she looked back at her watch, and every time it was a little sooner until he came. Her friends were probably asking her something, but Karena was cut off from them, like she was in a parallel universe, an alternate reality. She completely ignored them. Nothing that was around her actually existed, it was merely a fragment of her imagination. Nothing was real except for the Sandman, who was sitting at the table in front of her.