Precious Anathema

by T. L. Manning

  Precious Anathema

  By T.L Manning

  Copyright 2013 T.L. Manning

  Smashwords Edition

  All rights reserved

  This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this eBook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to

  My sisters

  Cynthia, Jessica, Jennifer, Karie,

  Wendy, Joann, Ingrid, Amber,

  Nicole and Sonni Jo.

  For teaching me that we make our own path

  In this life, and nothing is too hard as

  Long as we have love

  Also by

  T.L. Manning

  

  The ‘Night’ series

  Book One

  Red Sky at Night

  Book Two

  Wolf Moon’s Blue Hour

  Book Three

  Black Haze over Aurora

  Book Four

  Silver Laced Nightmares

  Special Thanks

  I need to take this time to thank some pretty amazing people for helping me

  See this dream come true. First and foremost I want to thank my whole family, for being beside me through all the years of struggles, crisis, and celebration. From the first book I was read as a child to the last time I had a breakdown over a review I hope you know I love you all.

  Jeremiah, My loving husband who never gets tired of hearing the same playlists over and over again to keep me in the moment (sorry honey, I love you) For being my rock when I crumble, and always telling me how proud you are I couldn’t do this without you.

  Gabriel and Delilah, You are mommy’s angels. You give me more to write about every day. I couldn’t do any of this without the love you have shown me. You are my biggest fans and my biggest inspiration. Mommy loves you to the moon and back times infinity.

  Casey, Aaron, Justin, Amber and Jen, I love you all so much and love that we get to share this life together. Thank you for being my family and friends.

  Jessica, Cissy, Keith, Heather, Rick, Karie, Eric, Lukin, Joann, Brandon, My family by choice I love you all with every ounce of my being and wouldn’t trade you for the world. Thank you for choosing me to be part of all your families.

  Allison, Jillian, Alexis, C.W, Brynleigh, Leo, Taylor, Violet, Cheyenne, Keisha, Marc, Elizabeth, Kendra, Sara, Bryan, Keith Jr, Aubree, my giant characters trapped in such little people. I love you all so much and I hope if nothing else you see that ANY dream can come true if you believe enough. Thank you for sharing my dream with me.

  Mom, Arthur, Dad, Ona, Thank you for teaching me about life and love, for my imagination and my courage I love you more than I can say, forever.

  Ginny, Dallas, Denise, Laurie, Rob, Carol, Leo, Grammy Joann, my .5 parents, I love you so much. Thank you for allowing me into your hearts; I am a truly blessed woman.

  Belinda, Papa, Betty, Len, Uncle Phil, Grammy E, Uncle Bobbi, and of course my Grammy <3 I know you are not here to see this dream come true but thank you every day I am alive for believing in me and when I get to where you are we will have some coffee and talk about it. I love you.

  So many friends new and old that have really helped me along the way as well, without them I would be lost. Thank you for the never ending encouragement and support, I love all of you!

  Wendy, Rebecca, Kim, Beth, Katie, Jaime, Angela, Sarah, Natalie, Ashley, Katrina, Shaina, Amber, Bill, Will, Fae, Andrea, Scott, Matt,

  Allisha, Sonni Jo, and Mariah.

  Prelude to a Curse

  We pulled into the parking lot; I could see her inside the car by the front door. I hung my head as the tears came, I didn’t want to get out of the car, and maybe if I stayed where I was I could make time itself stand still. I watched people walk by her and go inside, some looked and others turned their faces away unable to bring themselves to see her this way. She had gone from being the most beautiful woman I had ever known, to this. Her beauty could no longer be seen from inside that cherry pine box with gold handles for the pallbearers to carry her with style. I had my door opened and slowly made my way out of the car as they came to get her. I stopped in my tracks, I had to see everything. They opened the door and slowly took her out of the hearse and walked inside carrying her, I just stood in that spot long after they took her in. I was an orphan now and the thought washed over me until it consumed me. Someone took my hand and walked me inside, I didn’t bother to look to see who, and it didn’t really matter because it wasn’t her and I knew it. I took my seat and even though I was surrounded by friends I felt completely alone as I stared at the floor, unable to look up once they opened the box. My eyes closed as the funeral director began speaking, I couldn’t listen. My mind drifted off to one of the last talks we had with each other.

  *

  “Ella, come sit with me honey.” She pulled the blanket up so I could crawl in beside her. She refused to go the hospital to die, and as the days went on I hated her for that. I crawled into bed with her and she put her arms around my shaking body. I was fighting back tears with everything I had. She put her face right beside mine so I could feel her nose on my cheek. “I know you’re pissed off honey, and it’s ok. I’m pissed off too. It’s not supposed to be this way, we are supposed to have more time and it’s not fair to you.” I couldn’t stop the tears as I hugged her so tight, burying my face into her chest I howled in anger.

  “You can’t go; I can’t let you go Mom. You’re my Mom; you need to be here for me, for selfish fucking me! I need you, I still need you and God doesn’t. It’s just not fair Mommy, college, sex, marriage, children. I need my Mommy.” She squeezed me so tight, I had not spoken of my feelings till that moment and they poured out of my heart begging her to stay with me.

  “Delilah, I have had to learn the hard way that life isn’t fair to any of us. We make it how we want it, and you are everything I ever wanted. I don’t want you to hide how you feel from me anymore, it’s ok to be mad and it’s ok to cry.” I couldn’t stop once I started, and then I felt the warm tears from my Mother falling on my cheek.

  *

  I felt a hand take my elbow and raise me from my chair, I was numb all over, and had missed all the nice words people said about my Mom during my daydreams. I was walked in front of her; I looked down and closed my eyes again shaking my head. I couldn’t do this, I wouldn’t survive this. I turned around and just told myself to keep breathing. A line started to form as people came to pay their respects. A man stood in front of me with that same pathetic look on his face, ‘poor, Ella’

  “I am so sorry Delilah; if you need anything please call me.” His cold hand took mine and a chill swept through me. Allison stood beside me as she always did. My Mom and I had moved to Nebraska before I turned three months old, and when my Mom stopped at a local store for directions to our new home she met Wendy, a cashier at the only gas station in town and became instant best friends. When Wyn showed up two days later with her five month old daughter, Allison and a welcome basket they became the best of friends. Ally and I had been inseparable since that day, and today was no exception, with her arm around my back keeping me upright, letting me know that she was with me. We were complete opposites; Ally and I. She had shoulder length dark brown hair and blueberry eyes; I was a vibrant ginger with ever changing hazel eyes. She played sports, and I had a hard time walking and chewing gum. She had always been amazing at math, and I thought letters and numbers had no place in the same math problem. I sang in the chorus, wrote in journals, and had never had a boyfriend. Ally has always been popular with boys; I have always
been the ‘friend’, and being kissed by Lewis in third grade didn’t really count even though she liked to bring it up with a wink if I got down about myself. Ally started to develop in fifth grade and hasn’t stopped since. I think I started to develop since I made it out of an A cup bra over Christmas break. We were complete opposites, and we liked it that way. I squeezed her hand as I looked over the line waiting to see me, it was long and this was the first of many ‘I am Sorry’ statements I would hear today. No one knew what to say, but no one wanted to just stand there either. I couldn’t look behind me; it was too hard to see her like that. It was her, but it wasn’t really. No amount of makeup could bring the life back into her face, the shine in her smile or the love in her eyes, so it wasn’t her. Not to me anyway. Being an only child, and no blood family other than her all we had were each other, and now she was gone. With every handshake I heard ‘I am Sorry’. I wanted to scream at them.

  ‘You didn’t kill her!’ Why were they so sorry? I saw Wyn in front of me and broke down. I couldn’t look her in the eye; we had both lost something so great. I put my face down and looked at her hands in mine.

  “Delilah, listen to me. You need to make sure you finish senior year so you can head East for Emerson in the fall, that’s what she would want and I am going to make sure you do Honey.” She squeezed my hand and tears flowed. I had not thought about my early acceptance to Emerson in two months, since we got the news about Mom, that it was cancer, it was too advanced, and it would kill her. I remember sitting in the room holding her hand when the doctor walked in, she squeezed my hand and smiled at him. I knew she was scared, scared to die and she was still smiling. As he started to talk I heard the word Cancer and everything went dark. I saw his face, the first of many pathetic faces I would see over the next two months. He said that it was too advanced, it was in her lymph nodes and they couldn’t stop it. Mom never cried she never got mad; she never seemed to notice even as she got sicker with every passing day. She tried to keep doing everything she had done so nothing would change, then I found her on the bathroom floor at three in the morning, and everything changed. I felt my hands clam up as Wyn held them and I smiled at her, that’s what she wanted, just to know that I would be ok.

  “I will Wyn I promise.” I hugged her and felt my knees weaken under me.

  “Ella, listen Ally and I are coming to stay with you for a few days Honey, you won’t be alone ok?” I nodded and she sat back down in her seat, Wyn and Ally were my rock and I didn’t know what I would do without them. The last person finally sat down after what seemed like an hour of ‘I am sorry’ and I just stood looking at the wall in the back of the funeral home. A room full of people all looking at me, this red haired, awkward girl who was about to be an eighteen year old woman all alone in less than one month’s time. Every face felt sorry for me, and I hated to see that so I looked at the wall as the director said his last words about my mother. Ally held my hand and we took our seats, I closed my eyes as we sat down. I couldn’t look; it was all too much for me. I saw her face, flawless as always. Long dark hair and beautiful almond shaped blue eyes looking back at me. She was smiling; she always smiled and attracted attention wherever we went. She was more like my Mom than I had ever been, I never had attention the way they did; they could make the devil himself smile just by being themselves. It had only been a few days and it felt like I had missed her forever, already. The funeral was over, I didn’t recall much of it, but everyone was standing up and began talking. I sat in my chair, unable to move. I closed my eyes reminding myself to breathe in and out as my mid began to race with images and memories of my Mother.

  *

  “Ella, we are going to be late honey. Hurry up would you?” We had been planning this trip for months, and as usual I had waited till the last minute to pack for the weekend. We were heading out the city for two nights of fancy dresses and pampering. Mom had been so excited that she even rented a limo to take us to the hotel. She acted more like a twenty one year old college girl than a thirty seven year old mother of a high school senior. I ran out of my room with an overfilled suitcase.

  “Eight pairs of underwear should be enough, right Mom?” She laughed and her eyes twinkled as she rolled them at me, pointing to the sock hanging out of my luggage. She was as always perfectly put together at six in the morning, while I was sporting a cute pair of sweats and tank top I had slept in. She handed me a hair tie as I used my mouth to blow my frizzy hair out of my face.

  “Honey, you are so beautiful.” I rolled my eyes at her and dropped my bag on the floor.

  “Mom, did you even go to sleep?” I put my hair up and she handed me a cup of coffee.

  “Of course I did, I wake up like this.” She winked at me and smiled.

  ZERO

  Ally saw them before I did, but the gasps were loud behind me, and the chatter began quickly. Ally tapped my arm and I looked up to see my tan best friend, white as a ghost and eyes as big as the moon itself. She was looking to the back of the funeral home, I stood up to see what the commotion was about and saw three women walking in, who all looked like my Mother. I almost passed out, was it possible? I turned to look at the casket, and she was lying there just as cold as ice. I looked back and blinked a few times to make sure I was seeing correctly. Sure enough they were walking towards me, warm and alive and looking just like one another, just like her. Ally took my hand as they walked closer to us, Wyn looked very angry and stood in front of Ally and me blocking them from getting to me, but I wasn’t sure why she would do that. I kept staring at the beautiful women in front of me. Wyn put her hand out to stop them, and the older of the three stopped. They were all in black and looked at the casket with tears in their eyes, they knew my Mom? Wyn started talking to them but it only made me feel more confused.

  “You know you are not supposed to be here, she made it clear that she wanted Delilah to have nothing to do with all of this.” The women looked up and instead of catching my eye, they looked at Ally. Of course they did, she had dark hair and blue eyes like them. I let go of Ally’s hand and stepped beside Wyn, the women still looked past me.

  “I am Delilah Anathema Grace.” I put my hand out as I introduced myself and the three women stopped breathing. None of them would speak; they just stared at me, my hair, my eyes, my skin, my lack of curves. They just stared until Wyn spoke up again.

  “This is not the place to have any conversations about why you are really here. Please be respectful to your sister and Aunt, come by the house after.” Wyn grabbed me and we walked past the three women.

  “Wait a minute Wyn that was my Aunt and cousins?” I looked back at Ally who was right on my heels as we exited the funeral home to the Limo. Getting inside I felt like my head had just spun around and the wind had been knocked out of me at the same time. Wyn looked out the window with tears in her eyes; she knew I had an Aunt? Mom never told me I had a whole family out there? So many questions, and Ally looked just as stunned as I did as Wyn started telling me a story, never looking at me only staring out the window as we made our way through the small town.

  “Delilah, you have family. You actually have quite a large family on the East coast. Just one of the reasons your Mom was worried about you being in Boston. That was your Aunt Carna Honey; you actually have two Aunts; Carna and Kali. The two other women with her are your cousins, Selene and Eris.” I put my hand up to my face and covered my eyes. I couldn’t take this today. I lost my Mother, and now I have a whole family I never knew of. I couldn’t imagine what could be so horrible she would keep them from me; my Mother was the most outgoing, forgiving person I ever knew. “Delilah.” I stopped her right there.

  “Wyn you know I hate it when you call me that, please don’t.” I only let people call me Delilah at certain times, and usually it was when something serious was going on but right now my head was spinning and I just needed to feel a bit more normal.

  “Ok, Ella listen to me, Mom didn’t keep them away because they did anything wrong. She kept them
away because they live a certain kind of lifestyle and when your Mom left she wanted you as far away till you were old enough to make your own choice.” The limo stopped outside my house and we all stepped out. I looked up at her window and imagined what she could have been hiding from me, eighteen years next month to keep a secret must have been painful and hard for her. I started to cry again. The sun shone on my face and I stopped crying to smile, it was Mom kissing my cheek and I knew it would be ok.

  “Ella, Mom left me in charge of giving you some things in the event they came into your life, I certainly didn’t think it would be today but I will get them when we get inside and they can answer your questions better than I can.” Wyn put her arm around me, and Ally took my hand. The three of us walked into the house together as cars began pulling in for the after event.

  “I just want this day over Wyn; I don’t want to entertain anymore.” She squeezed me and told me she would get the box for me, and to hide in Mom’s room with Ally till they were gone. Walking into her room I was overwhelmed by the smell of her, everything looked as it had the last time she was here with me. I closed my eyes and let my senses take over for just a minute and let me live in the fantasy world where Mother’s don’t die and no one cries.

  “I have no idea what is inside this box Hun, but Mom was pretty specific that I just give it to you and all your questions would be answered.” Wyn handed me a large colorful box. Looked like Mom had decorated herself, I placed it on the bed and sat down as the doorbell rang and Wyn kissed my forehead and walked out of the room. I looked at Ally and took a deep breath as I opened the handmade clasp on the box. An envelope at the top caught my eye and I picked it up, setting it aside to read later, until I saw what was underneath it. Beautiful leather bound journal with the words Grace Family Grimoire. I looked at Ally and picked up the envelope before looking any farther. I moved closer to Ally on the bed and opened the letter from my Mom.