Drawn to You — Volume Two

by Vanessa Booke

  “I’m a family friend and that’s all you need to know.”

  Why is Tristan trying to be so sweet? Why is he acting like he didn’t eject himself from our lives?

  “Where have you been?” Nicholas asks, turning to Tristan. “Why didn’t you come see us this past Easter?”

  My brother’s gaze searches Tristan’s face for an answer. It’s a question I’ve longed to ask for the past four years, except Tristan never really stopped talking to Nicholas. He just stopped seeing me. A flash of anger sparks from Nicholas’s eyes, but more than that, there’s hurt. An emotion matching the intensity of mine.

  “I was planning to. I just needed to get some things in order…” Tristan’s gaze shifts to mine before returning to the walkway in front of him. “Let’s go inside before the paparazzo does something else to piss you off.”

  The paparazzi follow us to the front of the hotel, but they’re quickly contained as several of the hotel employees block them from entering the hotel. Sadly, it doesn’t stop them from swarming the outside of the lobby doors as they click away on their cameras. I can’t help but feel like a caged animal on display at the zoo as they stalk the outside of the hotel.

  I grab Nicholas’s coat and hook my arm through his. He sways as he drapes his jacket over his shoulder and tries his best not to stumble forward. The frazzled sight of him would almost be comical if I didn’t know the reason for his latest drinking binge. My brother, Alexander. Of the two of us, I think Nick has taken Alex’s death worse.

  “Nick, why did you come to the Somerset?” I prod.

  I know the answer, but I ask the question anyway. Today was Nina, my brother’s finance’s wedding. We couldn’t expect her to stay single forever, but we were still surprised when we got her Save the Date cards several months earlier.

  “I needed a drink,” Nick says.

  My brother avoids my gaze, but it doesn’t deter me from my interrogation. Tristan’s eyes are glued on me as I continue.

  “Is it because—”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Nicholas breaks off and heads the opposite direction of where we were going. Frustration bubbles in my chest as he ignores me calling after him. Shit, Augie is going to be pissed. It’s been more than fifteen minutes since I left the car.

  “Nick, come back!” Tristan yells.

  “Just let him go.”

  Nicholas ignores us as he stalks off toward the bathroom. I didn’t even mention Alex’s name, but he immediately knew what I was going to say. It stills feels like we lost my brother yesterday. I miss his stubborn silence and the goodness that he exuded.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing.”

  “That’s not what it seems like.”

  “Alex’s college sweetheart got married today. It wasn’t in the papers, but we got an invitation to the wedding six months ago.”

  “Oh.”

  “You would’ve known that if you actually came to see us.”

  “Emily, please. Listen to me.”

  But I don’t. I keep going, letting the words spill from my lips.

  “Nick was doing so well, but every now again, he just seems to fall off the wagon. Last year, we went to the beach house and everything was fine until he went to Alex’s room there. We haven’t touched it since he passed.”

  “I’m sorry, Lily pad,” Tristan says, reaching out to touch me.

  “He needed you…”

  I needed you.

  FIVE

  TRISTAN

  THE TENSION BETWEEN Emily and I thickens as each minute passes. I wish I could fix what went wrong between Emily and me with a simple apology, but life is a little more complicated than that. And the past always seems to be looming over me. I want to forget what I did, but I’m the reason why their lives are so broken. I still wish I could forget the way Emily felt beneath me, or the way her aquamarine eyes heated watching me touch the submissive lying on the bed in front of me, but I haven’t been able to. The innocent young girl I grew up with vanished that night. I should’ve let her go, but the moan that escaped her lips only made it harder. It made me harder. I’m sure she knew my intentions, but she didn’t question me when I started touching her.

  She refuses to look up at me for more than a few seconds, and I can’t fucking stop thinking about her lips and the way her dress hugs those familiar curves. I watch her as she shifts from one leg to the other. It’s a delicate balancing act that she carefully executes as she waits for Nick’s return. I know she doesn’t want to talk to me, but it doesn’t stop me from trying.

  “How’s school?” I ask.

  The question seems simple, but I should know better than to think anything is simple between us. Emily turns slightly toward me, but her eyes never stray from in front of her. She slowly slips her lip between her teeth. I know she’s trying to keep quiet, holding back the anger inside. After several painful minutes, she finally gives in and turns toward me with her arms crossed. I know Body Language 101. Arms crossed are definitely not a good sign, but it doesn’t deter me from trying to get her to talk.

  “It’s fine,” she mumbles. “I actually took a year off, but now I’m ready to go back.”

  I don’t ask her why because I already know the answer. She took a year off because, even after four years, Alex’s death still didn’t feel like it was over. At least not with the paparazzi hounding their family from day one.

  “So what are you studying?”

  “English.”

  I smile at the memory of staying up late and reading Emily poems.

  “I’m sure that makes your father happy.”

  “He doesn’t seem to care what I major in, as long as Nicholas takes over the company when he retires.”

  I’m not surprised Nicholas took Alex’s place.

  “Just do whatever makes you happy.”

  A small smile appears on her lips, but it quickly disappears.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you or Nicholas.”

  The words come rushing from my mouth before I have an opportunity to even think about what the hell I’m saying. I grit my teeth at the sight of a wince from her that almost goes unnoticed. I know I hurt her, and if I could take it all back, I would. At least if it meant she wouldn’t react this way toward me.

  “Alex said you would leave after you got what you needed from us. I guess I was just the cherry on top.”

  “It wasn’t like that…”

  “Emily!”

  We both turn at the sound of a voice coming from behind us. A young man with brown hair and a wide smile slips between us and slides up next to Emily. She turns and pulls him into an intimate embrace. I try my best to restrain myself at the sight of it. A streak of jealousy washes over me as Emily smiles at the handsome stranger. What I wouldn’t give to have that same reaction from me. It used to be that way before I went and fucked up everything good.

  “I was looking all over for you, Em,” he says. “I had to park two blocks down.”

  “Sorry, my brother was acting like a fool in front of the paparazzi.”

  Emily’s gaze slips to mine and then turns back to the stranger beside her. Before she has a chance to introduce us, he steps forward and extends me his hand to me.

  “Hi, I’m Augustine Andrews.”

  “Tristan Knight. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I say, gripping his hand. “How do you know Emily?”

  I know my question is intrusive, but I don’t care. I have to admit I never thought about the day that I would have to deal with Emily having someone else in her life.

  “He’s my boyfriend,” Emily blurts.

  My heart catapults as she intertwines her hand into Augustine’s hand. I swallow the lump in my throat as I try my best to feign my happiness for the couple. Despite my bias against any man for Emily, and the fact that it kills me to admit—Augustine seems surprisingly nice.

  “Yes, we’ve been together for almost a year now,” he adds suddenly.

  An a
wkward silence thickens between us as we wait for Nicholas to return to the hotel lobby.

  “We should go,” Emily says, piping up.

  “Right, we were actually on our way to a party,” Augustine says, shaking my hand. “It was nice meeting you.”

  “I’ll get your brother home,” I add.

  Emily stops for a moment and looks at me as if she’s going to thank me, but it isn’t long before she quietly turns and follows Augustine out one of the side doors of the Somerset Hotel. I watch them run across the street and down the way, as an unsettling emotion carves its way into my chest.

  Perhaps, after all this time, she was able to forget me… I can’t say the same.

  SIX

  EMILY

  I CAN FEEL Augie’s eyes burning into the back of my skull as we head toward the party at NYU. Memories of Tristan taking me on the stairs back home flashes in front of me as we weave our way through traffic. I’ll never forget the way Tristan felt inside of me or the pressure of his cock pressing against my stomach. I’ve seen my fair share of nude men since, but none of them could compare to him. Losing my virginity to Tristan was not how I imagined it would go, but here I am, reminiscing about the man who used me and then left.

  “So… are you going to tell me why you introduced me as your boyfriend?” Augie asks.

  “Probably not.”

  I try my best to avoid his inquisitive gaze as we drive further away from the Somerset Hotel. It just so happens, seeing Tristan again is the last thing I want to talk about. I can’t believe I’ve been fawning after the memory of him for the past four years. Pathetic much? Feminists everywhere would be turning their noses at me in disgust.

  “Is Tristan that guy who used to live with you guys?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Hmmm… there’s something you’re not telling me.”

  “Nope.”

  Augie turns to me as we come to a full stop at a red light. Much like Ceci, he’s relentless with his interrogations. I’m not in favor of lying to my friends, but this is one secret I’ve lived with for the past four years. If my brother or father ever found out, I’m not sure what they would do. Having your father as one of the most powerful men in the city isn’t always a good thing. As much as I hate Tristan for leaving, I don’t hate him enough to ruin his life.

  * * * * *

  “Yes! Fuck my ass harder.”

  The sound of my best friend’s orgasm pierces the air of the empty hallway echoing all the way to the entrance of our stairwell. My cheeks flush at the sound of her incessant mewling. I’m almost certain that our elderly neighbor, Mrs. Abernathy, can hear her climaxing across the hallway.

  “Well, I guess we know why Ceci wasn’t at the party,” Augie says with an eye roll.

  “I’m sorry Harvey wasn’t there.”

  From the sad look on Augie’s face, I can tell he really does like Harvey. It’s not just a crush anymore. I’m starting to think it’s turning into something more serious.

  “Me, too,” he says.

  Our apartment, although lavish, is surrounded by older residents and not the usual twentysomething’s pad. The location is my father’s way of keeping me out of trouble. The only cost of having it is that I keep my grades up, and I stay away from trouble. Trouble meaning guys. My best friend doesn’t always make that any easy criteria to meet. She’s supposed to be living with her parents still in a mansion on the Upper East Side, but she’s almost always at our apartment.

  We’re halfway to our apartment door when I spot a pair of hot pink latex panties hanging from the doorknob.

  “Lovely.”

  Augie’s laugh echoes through the hallway.

  “Why did we give her a key again?” I moan.

  “She’s like a stray kitten. We can’t just leave her wandering outside in the hallway.”

  I smile at my childhood memory of Ceci with painted cat whiskers for Halloween. Her parents wouldn’t let her hang out with anyone but me. They thought I was a good influence. If only they could see her now.

  Aside from the trademark Barbie panties and Ceci’s rowdy fucking, the bass pumping through the walls is a dead giveaway that she’s in our apartment with her current flavor of the week. I’ll never be able to listen to Usher without thinking of Ceci’s sexcapades. Don’t get me wrong. I adore my best friend because she has this loveable, in your face sort of attitude, but I can’t stand it when she brings guys home. Twice I’ve found her fucking someone on our kitchen stove. A dirty condom in the stove burner is not a welcomed sight when I’m trying to make myself mac n’ cheese, and I doubt Augie wants to explain to the fire department why it was there in the first place.

  “Are you ready?” I ask, picking up Ceci’s panties with my keys.

  A wicked smile plays on Augie’s lips.

  “It would be the polite thing to let her finish…”

  “Yes! Fuck. Me. Harder!”

  A door slams behinds us, and we turn to find Ms. Abernathy staring at us with critical glare plastered to her face. The sight of her serious expression makes her fuzzy mink coat almost comical. Almost. A loud boom echoed through the hall as I stood awkwardly trying to avoid her stare.

  “Oh, yeah, right there!”

  Shit, you’d think there was an earthquake happening in our apartment. Is Ceci trying to break the bed? Damn, I really hope she’s on Augie’s bed, not mine.

  “That roommate of yours is always playing music at strange hours of the night—”

  Thankfully, Ms. Abernathy doesn’t know she isn’t our roommate. I’m sure the housing co-op board would find some way to kick us out if they knew.

  “I know. I’m so sorry, Ms. Abernathy. I promise I’ll talk to Ceci,” I offer.

  “It’s not lady like to have men over at all hours of the night. All that moaning makes it sound like there’s a cat in heat,” she says with a scowl.

  “We will make sure she keeps it down,” Augie says with a polite smile.

  “Yes, just please keep it down. I can’t take anymore loud noises.”

  A messy-haired Ceci opens our front door just as Ms. Abernathy walks back to her apartment.

  “Hey, I thought you guys would still be at the party!”

  A sly grin spreads across her face. There’s a sparkle in her eye that I can’t help but feel a little envious of.

  “Uh huh. I’m sure you did,” Augie says, walking past her.

  Ceci’s boy toy slips past us and out the door wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs as he carries his pants and shirt. I stifle a laugh as Augie’s gaze lingers over the finely cut six-pack on the handsome stranger.

  “Augie, you better close your mouth or a fly will get in there,” I tease.

  He blushes.

  “Yes, mother.”

  Ceci throws on her jeans and walks over to the kitchen. I bite back a laugh as she rummages through the kitchen looking for food. I’m starting to think that we should’ve gone to a three-bedroom apartment instead of a two-bedroom.

  “I’m going to go lay down,” Augie says with an exasperated look.

  “Sounds good,” I say.

  I watch Ceci silently pouring herself a bowl of cereal before plopping on the leather couch. She looks over at me with a smile.

  “I know what you’re going to say, Emily.”

  She stabs her spoon at the Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal in her bowl.

  “What am I going to say?” I ask.

  “You’re going to say that I’m always meeting different guys. That I need to be careful, but you know, I realized something the other night. I may put myself out there a lot, but at least I try. You stopped trying. You rarely go on dates anymore. It’s like you’ve given up on being with anyone. I know when Alex died that was a lot for you, but you can’t stop living.”

  I lost too much.

  “I am living,” I counter.

  A stabbing pain hits me as Ceci rolls her eyes at me.

  “No, you wake up, eat, go to school, come home, and repeat the same t
hing over and over.”

  “I went to the party at NYU. Maybe I didn’t stay there all night, but at least I went.”

  “I’m surprised you went to the party, but remember, Augie and I had to beg you to go.”

  “It’s not my scene. It’s not me,” I say.

  “It used to be you,” she says. “You’ve changed.”

  Maybe I have changed. Who doesn’t change in four years? Alex’s death changed me, Tristan’s absence changed me, and both were out of my control. What am I supposed to do? Pretend like none of it ever happened? I can’t.

  “I think I’m going to go to bed, too. Good night, Ceci.”

  A sad smile appears on her face as I turn and leave. Behind me, I hear the TV switch on and the sound of laughter filling the screen. Despite how much I’ve tried to keep up with my friends and live my life, I can’t fight the dreaded feeling that Ceci might be right. Maybe I’m just existing.

  SEVEN

  TRISTAN

  I SLIP A cigarette from my shirt pocket and light it as I lean against the wrought iron balcony of my studio apartment. The sun is just rising over the peak of the surrounding buildings, filling the room behind me with a celestial beam of sunshine. It’s the perfect lighting to finish my canvas, but my mind isn’t anywhere near the right state to return to my work. Despite the bottle of wine I had devoured last night, seeing Emily left me with an ache that I’m almost certain began at my soul.

  I ache to feel her petite frame quivering beneath mine, to hear the way she gasped when I slid my cock inside her. Her sweetness ruined me the same way I ruined her. Those aquamarine eyes staring at me from against the staircase will forever be engrained in my mind.

  “Em, you’re so wet.”

  It’s taken all my strength not to break down and write her a letter detailing how sorry I am that I screwed up. I’ve thought about her every night since I left. I’ve longed to feel the warmth of her skin against my fingers again. It’s better that I keep my distance. As much as I care for her, we fit in different worlds. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.