He sighs in his seat next to me, his focus on the windscreen, then stares at me. “ Is that such a good idea - I mean you tend to complicate things when you have the time to dwell.”
WTF? Arrghhh!
He softens the blow, placing his sexy hand on my thigh and squeezes continuing, “I know you, baby, you forget. I know your quirky little ways.”
I place my hand over his and look right at him. “I need tonight.”
He nods. “Ok. I just worry that I’m losing you again. I can feel it. We’ve had this amazing break away together and now we’re home we’re back to square one.”
I frown; maybe he was right. I don’t want him to think I’m not invested in this; God nothing could be further from the truth - just the opposite in fact. I’m just terrified I’m going to move us forward at 100mph and we’re going to crash. “We’re fine, Seb. We do need to talk. Can we tomorrow? I’m just exhausted.”
“I’ll be here.”
His body language says pissed off and I’m saddened especially after what we’d shared at the cinema. Leaning over I kiss his generous mouth, and sit back looking into his eyes. “Surely what we shared tonight shows how in sync we are?”
“That’s sex, Lu - you and I have no fucking problem in the fucking department.”
Oh shit - he really is pissed.
“Ok. Night then. Love you.”
“Night.”
As I head to the house and let myself in, I feel his eyes on my back, then the second I close the door, the screech of his tyres as he pulls away is deafening - someone needed to cool off.
BOLLOCKS! That could have gone better. I hang my coat and head into the lounge to find Suzie watching the beginnings of the late stream of EastEnders. “You’re back early? Good night?”
“Yeah. Finn Ok?”
“Absolute diamond. Out for the count, little love.”
“Ah, thanks so much, babe. Do you want a cuppa?” Please say no. I just want to crawl under my duvet.
“Oh go on then. G said he’d come get me when you came home so I’ll text him now and you and I can have a quick catch up.”
We head down to the kitchen and I flick the kettle on and lean against the cooker, as she takes a seat, battling to balance on the stool.
“Bloody hell.” I rush to assist her and she puts her hands up in annoyance. I’m fine. I can do it. Please don’t turn into your brother-in-law.”
Smirking at her exasperated expression I look at her lovely face, similar to my own in so many ways yet so markedly different - bless if I’m tired at only 7 weeks, she must be shattered. We natter about The Maldives and Dubai and the nursery plans and I prepare the tea and assist her down again from her perch and then we take the brews back up to the sofas, where she can settle in more comfortably.
Her big brown eyes grow bigger with her next words. “So, tell me where, Mr. Gorgeous took you?”
“The Cinema.”
“Really - hmmph I thought it would be more exciting than that? I’m surprised you two made it out of the car the way he was eating you up with his eyes.”
I smile fondly. “He booked it out for us. There was no one there, Suze. Just him and I, oh and … Mickey Rourke.”
Her confused brow raise makes me laugh. “He wasn’t there in real form, he was on the big screen getting down and very dirty with Kim Basinger.”
Her mouth forms a big O’ and she nods in respect. “That guy has moves I’ll give him that. You can’t beat a bit of soft porn on the big screen to get a girl excited.”
He certainly does. “I fucked things up though..”
She looks up concerned. How so?”
“He wanted to go eat - I really needed to talk to him about something, something important and I chickened out. His sexy smile and charm taking my mind off my end goal and then I just felt… well it wasn’t the right time.”
“What… to tell him that you’re pregnant?” she casually takes a sip of her tea, appraising me coolly over the rim.
Jesus! “Suzie? What the hell are you talking about?” Oh Shit!
“Oh, come on! I’ve been waiting for you to ring and tell me since Gino saw you at the clinic yesterday, but when you didn’t I figured you were going to tell Seb first - tonight.”
Was it that obvious? “How did you know?”
“Well I didn’t need to be Einstein to figure it out that the clinic yesterday was only for maternity but to be honest Lu, you had that accident a month or so back and Abby said you’d been nauseous in Dubai…”
Did everyone know?
“Please don’t say anything to ANYONE, Suze — I mean it - I need to tell Seb first. He has to hear it from me. OK?”
“Of course. What are you going to do, hun? Are you happy? Shocked? Devastated? All of the above?”
I let out a huge gush of breath and suddenly feel like a weight has been lifted, maybe talking about it with my sister is the best thing to do?
“I’m not sure. I mean I’m happy of course I am. I love him - and I’d love to have his baby but…”
“It’s all very soon.”
“So soon.”
She uncrosses her legs and stands to come join me on my sofa, slipping an arm across my shoulders and drawing me to her. “Look, what will be will be. You’re right you need to talk to Seb and see where you two stand but I know how that man looks at you and he loves you, so I know he’ll support you. You will get through this.”
I lean my head into her strength, grateful for her words, even if I’m not sure of them. “I’m not unsure of his love for me, Suze. He just doesn’t want kids.”
“Has he told you that? He loves Finn, I find that hard to believe, he’s so good with them.”
“No - he told me in The Maldives, even before I realised I was expecting, that kids weren’t an option for us in our future. He seemed adamant but never gave me a reason why. We have Finn and that is enough for him, he said - for us.”
I glance to Suzie’s face, where I can see clear understanding now of my reluctance to jump in to announce to Sebastian my condition. “Either way you just need to rip it off, babe - get some sleep tonight, then see him tomorrow and tell him, before someone else does.”
I push back from her in annoyance.
“It won’t be me, I promise, but these things have a way of coming out when you least expect them to and are least prepared.”
I know she’s right.
She kisses my head and we smile at each other. “It’s too soon but wouldn’t it be nice to think we’d be pregnant together, babe.”
I can’t think that far ahead but I nod weakly. My head is fuzzy, like it’s full of cotton wool.
“How many weeks are you?”
“7!”
“And all looks good.”
“Yes.”
“Well that’s a positive in this mess. After you took that morning after pill, I was little worried.”
“Does Gino know, Suze?”
“Does he heck? Hasn’t got a clue and it’ll stay that way until you’re ready. Ok?” She winks and I mouth ‘thank you’ as we hear the knock at the door. Her husband’s timing was perfect.
I say my goodbye’s and lock-up, turning the lights off as I go and as I leave the lounge I double back. I could have sworn I saw someone sitting in a dark saloon opposite the house… watching. For added measure I close the curtains, something I rarely do downstairs and hold them tightly together. I’m sure it’s because I’m over tired and exhaustion is setting in but this feeling of being observed is becoming a regular occurrence.
I feel like I’m going mad.
*****
“No No No No No No No!!!!!!!! All my plans, all my fucking plans and she does this to me - this? How fucking dare she?”
He knew she was ungrateful but this was the last straw. No - this wasn’t going to work at all. Not at all. It didn’t fit in with his plans. He was trying to get rid of her friends and family not bring on more bag
gage!!! He would have to make her understand that she only needed him - she had to realise the error of her ways.
It was bad enough she had one kid but at least he could be palmed off on her bloody parents or his real-dad. Now she was expecting him to bring up another bastard? A shiny bastard wrapped in Silver coating - bollocks to that!
No fucking way!
She was taking the utter piss out him. “She’s got no respect for you and what you’ve done for her, risked for her - she doesn’t even care!”
“Fuucckk!”
He launches the scanner into the backseat of his car, bellowing in to its confines. Thumping his hand down hard on the steering wheel he winces as pain shoots up through his arm - she caused him nothing but pain. Well she would feel his pain - she wouldn’t get away with this, not this time, she’d gone too far.
Fucking bitch sister of hers had finally had a use - it’d been worth listening to her moaning on about her own issues long enough and her pathetic husband for all this time just to get this crucial bit of information that would change lives forever. His life.
Hadn’t his love heard of protection? WHORE!
She was a grown-woman for fuck’s sake and as for that Silver bastard - well he must be loving this. He probably fucking planned it - yes that’s what’s happened here - she wouldn’t have wanted another child would she? She already has one and struggles with work commitments as it is. No this was his doing - it wasn’t my precious Lucia’s fault.
There is no fucking way he’s going to get everything he wants - not this time. He’d already flashed it around in front of him for long enough and now he would pay - now he would get his comeuppance. He couldn’t have it go his way all the time. No, no amount of wealth or connections or handsome action hero looks was going to save him from this devastation.
Lucia was his and only his and nothing, nothing would come between them!
As he looks down at his iPad and watches the sister console Lucia, the more and more he sees his love’s reaction to the news, he understands what he needs to do.
Lucia didn’t want this - perhaps if she was carrying my child she’d feel differently, be euphoric even. Don’t worry sweetheart there’ll be time for that, if you still can afterwards. He watches her face, zooms in to her expression of uncertainty. She wasn’t happy and he needed to fix that. Touching the screen, he strokes her cheek gently before trailing it down his teeth gritting as his reaches her mid-section. Unable to see her stomach as she is seated he just stabs the screen in the general area of her abdomen violently, before smoothing his hair away from his face and taking a breath.
Using fake drumsticks he taps the steering wheel as Snow Patrol’s Run, hits it’s crescendo, the song increasing in its intensity and matching the ferociousness of his emotions in that moment. The timing couldn’t have been better - he loved this song. His face beamed at his well executed plan; the more and more he thought about it, the harder his cock became. He’d get two for one. Silver would pay and Lucia would be cleansed; his.
“I’ve been so patient, but no longer…………”
*****
I awake to a moment of bliss where the memory of what I have to do that day hasn’t yet hit that part of my brain and then sigh as it punches me full force. I’ll be glad when today is over.
I shower, make-up and dress quickly, and make sure Finn is washed and dressed by 7.30am and happily eating his shreddies in front of the TV as a special treat. We’d have been earlier setting off if I hadn’t spent ten minutes looking for my favourite black work stiletto’s - they seem to have vanished off the face of the earth, along with the bra I needed to wear under my white crepe blouse and a couple of other bits and bobs I was noticing. I hoped I hadn’t left them abroad? I was sure that I hadn’t packed any of them?
Dropping Finn at Crèche I make my way to work and without hesitation decline two calls from Sebastian en route. I’m not ready to speak to him yet. I need a hot drink and a good few hours ploughing myself head first into plans for The Ashton’s additional bedroom makeovers. It will anger him further but right now, it was worth it to enable me these next few additional hours.
Once at work, I check in with Jackie and spend an hour catching up on general office communication. She smiles as she supplies me with my 9th single rose from FWC and I take it from her, instantly guilty. He’d also sent a huge vase of lilies, which Jacks had placed on show on the Reception desk.
“You can grab them on your way out, but they look lush here and I can admire them for the day, if that’s OK with you?”
“Of course. Thanks, Jack. Was there a card for the lilies?”
“No. Just the black box.”
I nod and make my way to my desk - I have to tell him soon.
Finally at 12pm I’m left alone with my thoughts. My unopened e-mails twinkle annoyingly at me but before I open any of them, I slip the note from the cream envelope and promptly frown.
He seemed excessively pissed - I mean, I know I’ve been distant, and it’s not fair to him but at the same time as I hold the rose to my nose, I wish he could just give me a minute to figure things out. We don’t work apart though and Sebastian Silver didn’t do distance, not where I was concerned. But isn’t that what you love about him? I remind myself.
No, he was confused and he had every right to be. Not long now, Seb, I promise.
Sighing, I make a head-start with my inbox through each one, cataloguing, deleting and replying where necessary. As I’m responding to a lengthy message with regard to The Gilded Fox, another email pings into my inbox and I instinctively click on it.
To: Lucia Myers
Subject: Obviously only way to get in touch with you
From: Sebastian Silver
Don’t know what I’ve done but call me. I don’t take kindly to being ignored…
or declined. What are you hiding from me?
We need to talk.
I won’t disturb you at work but text me with a time for me to come to yours tonight.
I mean it, Lu - I’m a mess here and it doesn’t sit well with me.
Seb
Sebastian Silver
CEO Silver Construction
I chew my lip in concentration. Shit. Shit! I really had played this badly. Of course he was a mess, I would be too if he’d suddenly pulled away from me after the week we’d shared together. I grab my phone and text him immediately, then delete his email. I don’t receive an immediate reply but to be honest I don’t deserve a response. Tonight I would make this right, no matter the outcome - at least we would both know where we stood.
I’m sorry, baby. 8pm at mine. Love you. x
“Now then, my pretty - boy have I missed you.”
I look up at the sound of my darling camp Design Assistant and lean back into my chair. “Colin Duttine, the man of the hour.”
“Moi? What have I been doing this time?”
I chuckle. “Nothing bad I promise. I’ve just been reading some emails and Mrs Jeffrey's is overjoyed with her new granny-flat extension. So much so, she’s added a bonus for you. I’ll make sure you get it in this month’s pay packet.”
“Oooh - it makes it all worth while.”
“It does doesn’t it.” I grin at his dramatic expression.
“No seriously, doll, I had to listen to her drone on about her gout for weeks but we got there in the end and the place is great now. Who’d have thought that apple green could be the next big thing.”
“Well, it’s what the client wanted and you made it work - a proper English country garden and she loves it. In fact, she’s entered us into the Homes and garden’s competition.”
“Shut the front door!”
“I kid you not. I’m really proud of you. Thanks for running this place in my absence, Col - you’ve done an amazing job - and you, Jackie. I holler in her direction and she waves, whilst talking into her headset.
“So was it dreamy?”
“The holiday?”
“No stupid - the bloody visit to Crèche this morning - yes, the holiday.”
“It was one of a kind, Col. Seriously special. You and James would love it! Are you two alright now?”
He flicks my comment away with is hand. “Ah, we’re fine, it was just me overreacting as usual - he’s asked me to move in with him!”
“Oh. My. God! That’s brilliant news! You’ll be living at The Ashton? How’d you feel?”
“Whoa, steady, giddy lady - I’m good with it all now - wasn’t at first - definitely threw a bit of a peach cobbler but in the end, James calmed me and gave me a beautiful pink silk smoking gown, and matching slippers and said he needed me. I mean what more can a man want?”
I get up and kiss him on his cheek. “Absolutely nothing, hun. You’re perfect together. If it feels right, go with the flow and just be you.”
“That usually works - after all I am perfect.”
I laugh at his lack of modesty. “That you are, my love. Do I have to call you, Lord now?”
“Nah, I didn’t think, Lord Colin rolls off the tongue very well.”
“Hmmm I know what you mean. So just, Colin then…”
“Oh God no - Count Colin, darling - much more me.” He rests his top teeth over his bottom, Dracula style, providing me with a cheesy smile and I shake my head. The man was mental but I loved him.
“Go on fuck off so I can get some work done.”
“Well you will choose to go sun yourself with a, Silver God, rather than work your butt off like some people.” He blows me a kiss and heads off to the kitchenette and I watch his retreating form deep in thought. Oh to be back on that private beach in The Maldives now. The more and more I think about it, last night’s chat with Suzie had helped massively and blown the cobwebs from my eyes but I’d been wary as to what I could say to her - I mean she was my sister, but she was also pregnant herself. I needed to talk to an impartial party before I spoke to Sebastian.
The One Addicted (The One Trilogy Book 2) Page 32
