The Prodigal Son Returns

by Jan Drexler

  Bram reached out a hand to help her, but she ignored it and sat as far from him as possible on the seat to still keep a friendly distance. A sidelong look told her the smile was still there. He truly looked happy to see her. Would she ever figure this man out? The last time they were together, he had hardly looked at her, had hardly talked to her. Men. She had never figured Daniel out, either.

  Bram drove the buggy toward the barn and turned around in the circle drive. Partner shook his head with a nicker as Bram guided him back down the drive to the road.

  “Sorry, fella. You don’t live here anymore.”

  “He was good friends with Billy, Reuben’s goat. You’ll have to bring him over sometime to say hello.”

  Bram looked at her. “You’re saying I should bring my horse over here just to say hello to a goat?”

  Ellie laughed at the disbelieving look on his face. “If he starts feeling bad, you might try it. It wouldn’t be the first time animals missed their friends.”

  Bram just shook his head and then laughed along with her. “Ja, I might just try it sometime.”

  The laughter started the afternoon out on a friendly note. When Bram reached the end of the drive, he turned right, the opposite direction from his farm.

  “I thought we might go down to the lake. The road along there is shady, and it’s cooler next to the water.”

  Bram was right. As soon as they turned onto the county road that led them past Emma Lake, the dappled shade and water-cooled breeze tempered the unusually hot last day of May.

  “Look at those kids play.” Bram pointed the buggy whip in the direction of some boys laughing and playing in the water. “Kids in Chicago don’t have places like this.”

  “No lakes to swim in?”

  “Lake Michigan is close, but for kids on the West Side it might as well be on the moon. On really hot days the fire department will open a hydrant for them to play in the water. With this depression going on, there’s nothing for them. No jobs, no money. It’s a rough life for a kid.”

  Ellie tried to picture children with only streets to play in. No trees, no grass—just automobiles and noise. She had to ask him. “Do you miss the city, Bram?”

  Bram was silent while he used the buggy whip to shoo deerflies away from Partner’s ears. “I did when I first left. There’s a certain excitement about the city. Always something going on. Vendors in the streets shouting, the shoe-shine boys trying to make a penny or two, the streetcars clanging by...”

  Ellie stole a look at his face. Did he wish he was still there?

  He returned her look. His face was serious, but then his smile crept back, filling his eyes with a light she hadn’t seen before. “I don’t miss it at all.”

  Bram went back to flicking away the flies.

  They turned west for a mile, the overhanging trees still giving them some shelter from the sun. Bram rode without talking, but every few seconds Ellie caught a tune that sounded under his breath. She let herself relax into the rhythm of Partner’s hoofbeats, watching the lake as they drove past.

  She was on a buggy ride with a man—a man who wasn’t her husband. If anyone saw them, there would be talk that they were courting. The look that had passed between her parents told her they were thinking it might be true. There was already speculation about them, just like there had been about Levi in the months after his wife’s death. But she and Bram were friends. Nothing more. She knew how to keep her distance.

  When they reached Bram’s farm, she was surprised at how much it had changed. The run-down place she remembered looked like a true Amish farm now. The house looked almost new with a coat of white paint and the shutters removed. Lilac bushes flanked the front porch, just like at home.

  As they drove into the barnyard, Bram motioned to the new boards on the barn that contrasted with the weathered gray of the old siding.

  “Next week I’ll be painting the barn. Still have a few more boards to replace on the other side.” He pulled his horse to a stop at the end of the brick path that led to the back door of the house. “You go on in while I water Partner. Make yourself at home and think about what needs to be done yet.”

  Ellie let herself in the back door. The back porch had been enclosed at some point, and it held a sink with a pump, handy for washing up after working out in the garden. She opened the door to the kitchen and stepped in.

  All of the cabinets were brand-new, and the smell of fresh lumber filled the room. She ran her hand over the wood of the nearest cabinet. Smooth oak planks were joined together with a nearly invisible seam to form the cabinet doors. Bram had taken care with their building.

  She turned to take in the rest of the room. As large as Mam’s kitchen, it had room for a big family table. Bram had left space for a stove on the wall opposite the sink where the chimney would go up through the center of the house, warming the upstairs bedrooms. Even the wood floor looked as if it had been recently refinished.

  This was a kitchen a wife could work in. Ellie ran her hand along the countertop. Plenty of space for baking, canning, preparing food for her family... Ja, any woman would be happy in a kitchen like this.

  Ellie turned to the view out the window over the sink. Between the plowed fields and the road was room for a garden, and she could see apple trees in the yard to her right. A big maple tree stood next to the brick walk, with a low branch that was just right for a swing. Wouldn’t Susan love a swing like that!

  In her imagination Ellie could see her children playing in the yard—Johnny running out to the barn to help with the chores, Susan shooing the chickens into their coop at night, Danny learning to walk in the soft grass...

  Bram stepped out of the barn and closed the door behind him, smiling when he saw her watching from the window.

  What was she thinking? This was Bram’s farm, and she had no right to be imagining her children living here. Her children didn’t belong here. Their farm was waiting for them. Daniel’s farm, his dream—that was where her children belonged. She owed that to Daniel. It was his legacy to them.

  The morning’s dream echoed in her mind.

  If Gott saw fit to bless her with another husband, it surely wouldn’t be Bram, would it? Not a man who had spent so much time among the Englisch, a man who hadn’t even joined the church yet. To marry an unbeliever would weaken her own faith and only confuse the children.

  Ne, Bram Lapp was not the man for her.

  She dried her wet cheeks when she heard Bram open the back door.

  * * *

  Bram’s heart stopped at the sight of Ellie in his kitchen. Like a bolt shot home, it was right.

  But it wasn’t. Was she wiping away tears?

  “Ellie, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” She shook her head and gave him a bright smile. “It’s a beautiful kitchen. I haven’t looked at the rest.”

  She glanced toward the door that led to the front room.

  “I haven’t worked on that part of the house yet.” Bram moved to put himself between her and the disaster that was his front room and bedroom. The former owners had left everything from peeling wallpaper to overstuffed, ratty furniture, and he wasn’t about to let anyone see his house in that shape.

  “What do you think about the kitchen?” He turned her attention back to this room, where every cabinet door had been finished and mounted, every drawer built, every floorboard sanded with thoughts of her. “Does it need anything else?”

  “Paint. And a stove and a table.”

  And her. It needed her. Here. Every day.

  Bram drew his palm across the back of his neck. That was just a dream. A pipe dream, but he didn’t pull his mind away from the image.

  “What color paint should I use?”

  Ellie swept her gaze around the kitchen, and Bram couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her small, slim form twi
rled on one foot as she turned.

  “Yellow, I think. But not a bright yellow. Soft, like butter.”

  “Ja, yellow would look just right.” He took a step closer to her, but she turned away from him. She had been acting as skittish as a barn cat all afternoon. How could he get back to that closeness of last week? Had that one afternoon on her glider scared her as much as it had him?

  “I don’t know about the stove. What kind should I look for?”

  “Ach, every woman has her own likes and dislikes.”

  “I know. What would you choose?”

  She gave him a sideways look that made him catch his breath. She looked perfect standing there. Longing was an ache that filled his chest.

  “If I were choosing, I’d want one just like my mother’s. It’s the one I learned to cook on, and I like it.” She turned toward him. “But I’m not choosing, Bram. It isn’t my home. You need to get a stove you can use.”

  Bram held her gaze, letting himself indulge in the dream for a few seconds longer. When he had found Kavanaugh and his job was done, he’d be leaving all this, but the sight of Ellie in his kitchen would belong to him forever. A picture to linger over during the lonely nights ahead.

  If he could bear to leave it behind...

  * * *

  “I like Grossmutti Miriam’s cookies.”

  “What if she didn’t make any?”

  Johnny loved to tease his sister. Ellie supposed all big brothers acted like that.

  “She always has them.”

  “But what if she didn’t make them this time?”

  Susan paused, her face clouding as she considered this. “But if she doesn’t make them, what would Dawdi Hezekiah eat?”

  Ellie broke in. “I’m sure the cookies will be waiting for you when we get there.”

  “Maybe...”

  “Johnny, that’s enough.”

  Johnny looked up at her with a grin, his brown eyes shining with fun. Ellie caught her breath. Every month that passed, Johnny looked more like his father, but the change in the past few weeks made her see Daniel in every movement and expression. Ever since Bram had come into their lives....

  The children started a game of Twenty Questions to pass the time on the long drive. Danny slept in a makeshift bed on the floor in the back, leaving her free to handle the reins and her mind free to wander. She had started these monthly visits to Daniel’s aunt and uncle soon after Danny was born. The older couple grieved as much as she did. When they lost Daniel, and Ellie moved to Mam and Dat’s, they also lost their daily contact with Daniel’s children, the only grandchildren they would ever have.

  “There’s the creek!” Susan shouted.

  Ellie looked past the creek, the landmark the children used to know they had arrived, and saw Miriam and Hezekiah waiting for them in the drive. Their smiling faces told her she should consider bringing the children more than once a month, but when would she fit in another day for this trip? Once a month allowed her to stop by Daniel’s farm and collect the rent from the tenants.

  “Ach, the children!” Miriam held out her arms as the buggy stopped in the drive.

  Susan and Johnny jumped out and raced to Miriam, almost knocking over the short, round woman in their enthusiasm. Hezekiah limped over to the buggy to take a sleepy Danny from Ellie.

  “Hello, Hezekiah. How are you today?”

  “Ach, I can’t complain.” He didn’t look at Ellie, but he smiled as he rubbed his beard on Danny’s head, making the toddler giggle.

  Ne, he never complained, but from the way he walked, his arthritis was bad today.

  “Good morning, good morning,” Miriam called to her over Johnny’s head. “Come in. I have coffee ready, and cake.”

  “And cookies?” Susan was still fearful that Johnny’s teasing might come true.

  Miriam leaned down and took the little girl’s cheeks between her hands. “Of course there are cookies! What would a visit to Grossmutti Miriam’s be without cookies?”

  Hezekiah handed Danny to Miriam as he took Brownie’s bridle. Ellie would have taken care of the horse, but the one time she had tried to ease the older man’s work, he had shooed her out of his barn with a frown. He would keep working until the arthritis made his joints so stiff he couldn’t move. If he could handle things on his own for a few more years, then Johnny would be old enough to help him.

  Once Susan and Johnny had helped themselves to a soft sugar cookie from Miriam’s cookie tin, they headed out to the barn to see the animals. Miriam put Danny in the high chair she kept waiting in the kitchen and broke up a cookie on the table in front of him.

  “It won’t be long before this one will be running out to the barn with the others.” Miriam patted Danny’s arm as if she couldn’t get close enough to him.

  Ellie remembered Mam telling her once that ever since her only daughter had died as an infant, Miriam’s arms always seemed to be hungry to hold babies, and it was true. She loved being near the children.

  She helped herself to the coffee, pouring two cups, while Miriam cut large pieces of cinnamon-laded coffee cake for them.

  “How are your parents?” Miriam asked as she took her seat next to Danny.

  “They’re doing well.” Ellie joined her at the small table. “Mam is working on a quilt for Reuben.”

  “Not Reuben! Already? Who is the girl?”

  Ellie smiled. “He hasn’t told us yet. He’s been very secretive about the whole courtship.”

  “As he should be. It must be someone from another district. I haven’t seen him paying attention to any one girl at our church.”

  “I don’t know. It could be. I know he was sweet on Sarah Yoder at one time, but that was when they were both quite young.”

  Miriam’s face was suddenly serious, and she leaned toward Ellie across the table. “I know I shouldn’t say anything. Hezekiah would say it’s none of my business, but I have to wonder. Have you ever considered marrying again? I know Levi Zook is ready whenever you are.”

  The memory of being within the circle of Bram’s arms came to Ellie, but she pushed it away.

  “I’m too busy with the children to think of marrying again, and there’s the farm. We still plan to move back to it when we can. Daniel would want us to.”

  Miriam stroked Danny’s arm. “You’re too young to hold on to the past. Don’t let yesterday’s memories rob you of tomorrow’s dreams.”

  The elderly woman drew a shuddering sigh and took a sip of coffee, then studied the cup carefully as she spoke. “For many years I prayed to Gott to give me another child after we lost our Abigail. I wanted so badly to give Hezekiah a son.” She stopped, caught her bottom lip between her teeth and rubbed her thumb along the rim of the cup.

  Ellie waited for her to go on, blinking back tears.

  “I’ve wished my life away, always looking back to our poor daughter.” Miriam looked up at Ellie. “I have spent my life grieving, crying for what was lost instead of looking at the gifts Gott has given me. Don’t make the same mistake.”

  Miriam’s eyes were wet as she smiled at Danny. He grinned at her, squeezing the soft cookie between his fingers.

  “Daniel was the closest we will ever have to a son. When he came to live with us, I resented him at first. I had prayed for a baby, not a sixteen-year-old young man.” She turned to Ellie with tears pooling in her eyes. “But he blessed us with his presence, then with you, then with the children. Gott answered my prayers more completely than I ever imagined.”

  She grasped Ellie’s hand in her own, her soft, papery skin cool and dry. “Don’t make the same mistake, Ellie. Don’t try to bring the past alive again. Gott has other plans for you, better plans than you can imagine.”

  Ellie smiled back at Miriam, unable to trust her voice. Wasn’t that just what she had been thinking?
That it was time to move on from the past? But to think Gott had better plans for her than Daniel and their family? Ach, that couldn’t be.

  * * *

  By midafternoon Ellie and the children said goodbye to Hezekiah and Miriam. The drive to Daniel’s farm was short, just to the end of the mile, then the first farm on the right. Daniel’s land joined Hezekiah’s small farm in the middle of the section.

  The house needed painting. The paint Daniel had used had faded from the gleaming white, and in places it was peeling. It couldn’t be that old, could it? Ellie counted back. It was almost ten years ago that Daniel had bought this land and built the house. He had worked so hard and insisted everything had to be perfect before their wedding.

  She could still hear his voice. “This is my family’s house, and it will last for generations.”

  How sad he would be to see his house now. It wasn’t just the peeling paint. The lawn was ragged, and the barn door sagged in one spot. Mr. Brenneman wasn’t a farmer, although he tried. At least his job in town provided money for them to pay the rent, and they were good tenants, in spite of being Englisch.

  Ellie saw a rusty black automobile parked near the barn like a dusty beetle as she pulled the buggy up to the hitching post by the back door of the house. Shouldn’t Mr. Brenneman be at work on a Monday? Could he be sick? Or was today a holiday for the Englisch?

  Mrs. Brenneman came to the kitchen door before Ellie got out of the buggy. The young woman looked as if she had been crying, and two children clung to her skirts as she stood on the top step.

  “Good afternoon, Mrs. Miller,” she said. Something in the Englisch woman’s voice caused Ellie to stay seated. Something was wrong.

  “Good afternoon, Mrs. Brenneman. How are you today?”

  The other woman ignored Ellie’s question. “We can’t pay the rent today. My husband has lost his job.”

  “When did this happen?”

  “Two weeks ago. I wanted to send you word, but James thought he’d be able to find something by the first of the month.” Mrs. Brenneman’s face was desperate. “Could you let us pay you later? It’s only one month. He will surely find work soon, and the crops are already in. I told James we could sell the cow to pay at least some of the rent.”