Searching For Captain Wentworth

by Jane Odiwe

  Chapter Fifteen

  Charles came to claim his dance. I needn’t have worried about not knowing what to do, though I began to think that hours spent watching Colin Firth dancing Mr Beveridge’s Maggot were not going to do me a lot of good. This dance was really energetic, more like the country dances I’d learned at school. Fortunately, only one couple started at a time, which gave me a chance to watch what they were doing. William Glanville and Emma led the dancing and as I tried to memorize the steps and figures, Charles demanded my attention.

  ‘Do you enjoy dancing, Miss Elliot? I must admit, it is my particular delight and the activity I miss most when I am away at sea. Indeed, whenever and wherever we disembark I will always head to the nearest assembly as soon as I can. No matter how tired after a voyage, a night of dancing always increases my spirits. My sister Jane always laughs at me about it, but to tell you the truth, she is just the same.’

  ‘I enjoy dancing very much,’ I replied truthfully, but had to suppress a smile when I thought how shocked he would be by the dark nightclubs I knew where not only the music was very loud, but where a partner might take you closely in his arms. Yet, somehow, looking at his expression, I had a feeling that if Charles Austen were suddenly catapulted into the twenty-first century, he would quickly get used to the idea. But thinking about my own time was no good, I had to prove myself in his, and I knew that I desperately didn’t want to let him or myself down.

  All I could hope was that I wouldn’t disgrace him. I needn’t have worried; Charles took command. That air he had, a natural confidence in his own ability, coupled with charm that positively glowed from within, shone through even more so on the dance floor. All eyes watched us, which was unnerving, but once I felt confident about the steps and figures, I was able to really enjoy myself. Once or twice our eyes met. I had that feeling of indescribable excitement again. It felt fantastic and I hadn’t experienced that in such a long time, though I scolded myself for my ridiculous behaviour. What on earth was I doing? I was practically flirting with Jane Austen’s brother! But when Charles whispered that my dancing was wonderful, I felt I might burst with pride. I hadn’t thought it would be so energetic or exhausting and I was glad when it was the turn of the other couples to lead the way so I could get my breath back.

  It was on one of these occasions that I spotted Jane on the other side of the room. She really had a talent for dancing. Nimble on her feet and so graceful, she skipped and smiled wreathing her way down the set. But, as I watched her laughing, her eyes bright sparkling, all of a sudden her expression changed and her body language conveyed more than any words could say. She froze and her darting eyes clouded in recognition at the tall, fair-haired man standing next in line to dance with her. He was clearly making her nervous. I couldn’t see him well enough to make out individual features, but I could see he was very good-looking. I saw Jane studying the floor intently before she looked up to flick her head the other way, thus avoiding his lingering glances. There was a moment of hesitation; a clear delay, and a faltering behind the beat of the music for just a split second before she allowed him to take her hand and when she did, that was when I saw the sparks fly. They held each other’s gaze, Jane’s head tilting at an angle displaying her long white neck. It was as if they were joined by an invisible cord and for a long time they did not take their eyes from one another. Not a word passed between them, but every glance spoke volumes. In the next second, I saw her raise her chin defiantly and as she gaily danced along the line as if nothing had happened, I noticed neither one of them looked back or sought the other out again. You would have thought they were strangers, yet I knew I was not mistaken. If they were not lovers now, I was sure there had once been a very strong attraction. Though neither had spoken to the other, I had no doubt they knew each other intimately.

  My attention elsewhere, I nearly missed my step. Thankfully, Charles saved the day, grasping my hand and sending a frisson of pleasure coursing through me. By the end of the dance, my cheeks flamed, my breath taking a few moments to steady. Charles, of course, looked very cool. His slightly heightened colour made him look more handsome than ever and, unlike me, he seemed to be no more out of breath than when we started.

  After the dance finished, I sensed neither of us wanted to part straight away.

  ‘Thank you, Miss Elliot,’ he said at last, touching my arm briefly, but enough to send a little shock of desire running through my veins, ‘it is rare to find a partner who dances with such grace and ease.’

  I was so pleased. ‘The delight was all mine, Lieutenant Austen.’

  ‘I hope you will not think me presumptuous to ask for another.’

  ‘I would love to dance with you again,’ I said, even knowing that although I’d got away with it this time, I might not do so a second time. It was a risk worth taking, and however much I told myself I should not dance with him again, I knew there was nothing I’d rather do.

  The musicians were tuning up again. Lieutenant Austen bowed and I curtsied as prettily as I could. He was about to take my hand again when we were rudely interrupted.

  ‘Miss Elliot, what a delight it has been dancing with your sister. And now I hope you will enjoy our promised dance to which I have so looked forward.’

  Mr Glanville took my hand. It was done so swiftly that I couldn’t protest. Charles’s expression altered, he no longer smiled, and after a curt acknowledgement he immediately walked away. I could only trust that he would come to my rescue later on, but all hope vanished when he didn’t turn to look in my direction or reassure me in any way. As I walked to the floor with Mr Glanville I saw Emma glaring angrily, her lips pressed together in an anxious attempt not to reveal her true feelings. I silently mouthed an apology, but she didn’t want to see that I wished to be anywhere else but dancing with him or holding his hand that gripped mine far too tightly. Doing all I could to put him off, I avoided his eyes and his questions, but he seemed as keen as ever.

  ‘You have been hiding yourself, Miss Sophia,’ he said, ‘and it is a great pity for it is rare to find such a dancer to complement one’s own abilities. I should never boast of my own talent for dancing, of course, but my friends tell me of their envy. Sir Archibald Anson, a very dear acquaintance, declared he should never wish to be caught in a quadrille alongside me for fear of being put at a disadvantage. And he, my dear, has had lessons from the great Mr Wilson himself!’

  ‘I have little experience in dancing, Mr Glanville, and am as likely to tread on your toes as the next young lady,’ I answered, determined at once to show how very bad I could be. I hesitated on the next call, managing simultaneously to jump onto his gleaming slipper and smile as if I was totally unaware that I’d committed such a dreadful crime. Watching him wince had me biting my lip, and at least Emma looked placated for a second or two. But neither ignoring him nor abusing him seemed to stop him being as attentive as ever. As the last note struck I ran away, conscious that he was about to repeat his request to dance again. I thought he might follow me, but fortunately, Emma was waiting. She looked furious and wishing to steer clear of her, I dashed away losing myself in the throng.

  The ballroom was very crowded and it took some time to squeeze past the multitude of people who stood at the sides observing the dancers. I didn’t quite know where I was going; the card room was full of people and I just wanted to be on my own. I was making my way along the corridor in the crush of people when I caught sight of Jane. Trying to reach her I was swept along, my feet hardly touching the ground as the crowds surged in two directions. Spotting a gap, I slipped and dodged my way through until I almost caught up and was about to call her name when I noticed she was with the same man she’d been dancing with earlier.

  He was urgently whispering something in her ear though she didn’t look at him or communicate in any way. I couldn’t see their expressions, only the backs of their heads. There was a flash of movement, their fingers brushed with lightning speed, and I glimpsed a piece of paper pass between them before
they abruptly separated, she to the ballroom, and he to the card-room.

  I didn’t know what to think. I couldn’t help feeling curious about the reasons why they couldn’t talk to one another openly, but it was none of my business, and I decided I must put any speculation out of my head. There could be all sorts of reasons why Jane and a handsome young man were corresponding in such a clandestine way, and then told myself off for imagining that a love affair must be the reason.

  Opening up the pair of double doors to my right I decided to take a chance and found myself in the tearoom, which was empty. Preparations had been made for the influx of thirsty dancers who would be arriving within half an hour to take tea. I sat down amongst the tables scattered with teacups and closed my eyes savouring the peace and quiet. The sense of relief at having escaped was sublime until I heard the door scrape open.

  Chapter Sixteen

  To my enormous surprise, it was Charles who poked his head round the door. ‘I thought I saw you come in this direction. Please tell me to go away if you’d rather not have any company. I cannot help thinking that you wish to be on your own again.’

  ‘Oh no, I would welcome your company, Lieutenant Austen. Please come in. I admit; I came in here to escape, but not from you.’

  He took the seat next to mine and stretched out his long, muscular legs. I remember thinking how he seemed to make the entire room come alive with warmth and brightness like the candles that burned in the sconces, sending haloes of candlelight to fall softly on his features and on the dark curls waving around his face.

  I noted the firm contours of his face and his grave, serious expression that almost hid the humour that bubbled away behind the deep tawny eyes. Struck once more by his sheer physical presence Charles made me feel dainty and tiny by comparison, a distinction that reminded me that we were so very different. Poles apart in every way and yet I felt there was a connection between us. I sensed it and I began to think that perhaps he might too. He was studying my face again, watching my mouth, which made it twitch with nerves. I wanted to bite my lips.

  ‘Is it Mr Glanville you wish to avoid?’

  I nodded. ‘I do not want to dance with him again for fear my sister Emma will never speak to me again.’

  ‘Ah, I see. If not for your sister, you would choose to dance with him.’

  ‘Oh, goodness me, no! He is a pleasant enough person, but he is … a little eager,’ I said at last, trying to find the words without betraying any modern sensibility.

  I looked up to see him smiling. ‘I cannot blame Mr Glanville for wishing to dance with you.’

  ‘Well, my sister would prefer that I did not dance with him at all. I think between them, she and my father have designs on him. He is a widower, you know.’

  Charles smirked. ‘Yes, I have heard he is looking for a wife.’

  ‘My sister is looking for a husband and I think it a very likely match.’

  ‘And you, Miss Elliot, are you also looking for a husband?’

  I caught that expression of his again, the serious one with the evident hint of mirth around his mouth just waiting to break out into a laugh. Was he teasing me again?

  ‘No, I am not. Marriage where love has no place is not for me, I confess. There is far too much of that sort of thing going on here in Bath and it is not to my taste, I can assure you. Husband hunting could never be a sport for me. Until I fall in love with someone I believe truly returns my affection, I shall not contemplate it.’

  ‘You are in a very happy position to have that choice, Miss Elliot.’

  ‘Well, whether I truly have that power remains to be seen, but I do not think my opinion is one generally shared amongst the people with whom I am acquainted.’

  ‘I am certain your ideas are well-considered, Miss Elliot, and I think it wise to trust to your own judgment in these matters.’

  ‘And, what is your opinion, Lieutenant Austen? Are you intent on marriage? Do you seek love or the pursuit of a suitable wealthy alliance?’

  ‘I would like to marry one day. But, I have my way and my fortune yet to make. Even if I wished to marry, I could not expect to attract a wife. Not perhaps until I am made Captain of a frigate of my own will I consider matrimony as a serious prospect.’

  ‘So, I understand you will not allow yourself to fall in love until you have been promoted.’

  Charles threw back his head and laughed again. ‘Well, Miss Elliot, you may prove me wrong. I think, however, that what I meant to say is that, I feel it would be best to wait before I form any attachment that I could not immediately honour. However, I do not think that my sister would necessarily agree with the idea of waiting to marry. Jane has expressed her thoughts on this matter having witnessed at first hand the misery of what can happen when two people are forced to wait for want of fortune.’

  I wondered if he was going to tell me something about Jane’s mysterious friend. ‘Was Miss Jane in love?’

  ‘It was my sister Cassandra who fell in love and became engaged before her fiancé went to sea as a chaplain. They hoped his position might find him preferrment with Lord Craven, but poor Mr Thomas Fowle died of yellow fever in San Domingo and was buried at sea. His death afflicted us all; he was as another brother to me.’

  ‘That is a very sad tale. I cannot think how your sister must have been affected.’

  ‘For Cassy, I believe, she has never fully recovered, although she bears her loss with dignity and fortitude. But, her nature has always been more reserved and I am not sure if she would ever have been encouraged to any folly by marrying early or before our parents thought it right, whatever the outcome.’

  ‘Something in what you have said makes me think that Miss Jane is a different character.’

  ‘Cassandra is prudent, well-judging – she has the calmer disposition of the two. My sister Jane is very open with a happy temper, vivacious and passionate in all her pursuits. If she were to fall in love, we would all know about it, I think.’

  ‘And if you were to fall in love, Lieutenant Austen?’

  ‘You are a very bold inquisitor, Miss Elliot. But, since you ask, the fact that it is impossible for me to contemplate the marriage state just yet, means that I will do everything in my power to insure love doesn’t happen.’

  ‘Do you mean to say that you might deny your feelings? If, for example, you were to fall in love against your will, if it happened without you knowing so that you had no time to consider it, what do you think would happen then?’

  Charles paused. I met his eyes, which were contemplating mine. ‘I enjoy the company of pretty young women, I love to dance and even to flirt a little, but I do not have the luxury of time to make really lasting friendships. I tend to rely on my sisters for companionship when I am at home.’

  ‘I think you have very successfully evaded my question. What of your feelings, Lieutenant Austen?’

  ‘I like to think I am an open-hearted person, Miss Elliot, with all the correct feelings of affection, but perhaps it is just a matter of not ever having met the right person who inspires the sort of feelings you describe. I admit; I have little idea of how it might feel to be in love. I have not had the luck to fall in love … yet.’

  ‘I think that a fair answer. And I daresay, it will be your fate one day. I am certain there must be someone for everyone. When you least expect it, love will strike!’

  ‘In the meantime, could I persuade you to another dance, Miss Elliot?’

  ‘No persuasion is necessary, Lieutenant Austen. I should love to dance.’

  If possible, the second dance was even more fun than the first. We both relaxed and the need for polite chatter all but vanished. We moved together so well, he was a wonderful partner and such a good dancer, that I felt completely at ease. I couldn’t think of a time when I’d enjoyed myself so much.

  Mrs Randall was waiting for me as we came off the floor. She acknowledged Charles before excusing us, saying that my father wished to speak with me.

  ‘Thank you, Miss Elliot,’
Charles said. ‘I hope we shall see you very soon. I know my sister is full of schemes for her expedition up to Beechen Cliff.’

  I knew that we should not be able to dance again. In all of Jane’s books it was considered most inappropriate to dance a third time in one evening. It made me like him even more. Such “a good- looking, gentleman-like, pleasant, young man,” was the phrase that sprang to mind.

  ‘Miss Elliot, I must speak to you,’ Mrs Randall said quietly. ‘I wish only to advise you as I believe your mother would have done, but I think you should be on your guard. Your friends, the Austens, are very amiable, genteel sort of people and I believe your dear mama would have had no objections to the friendship with the sisters who are well-informed, intelligent girls. However, I cannot help the observation that Lieutenant Austen has singled you out for two dances this evening and has been most particular in his attention to you. Your father would not approve of such a marked interest, or of such a connection.’

  ‘I have only danced with him, Mrs Randall. We are not about to be engaged!’

  ‘Be that as it may, you should be cautious. It is a daughter’s duty to marry well for her family’s sake as well as her own. You and your sister will make exceptional matches, marriages that would have made your mother proud and happy, allowing you to partake in a life of privilege and wealth. This is what she wanted for you, Sophia, to take your place in society. Do not damage your chances of happiness for a few moments of foolish frivolity. Do you understand, my dear?’

  ‘You think Lieutenant Austen is trying to court me? Really, Mrs Randall, nothing could be further from the truth. He has no wish to marry. He told me as much. No, he is too busy proving himself in the Navy; he has no intention of doing anything so foolish as to fall in love. My father’s fears and your own are completely groundless.’

  ‘He might not do anything so foolish as to fall in love, but your defence of him just now leaves me feeling no more assured of your ambivalence toward Lieutenant Austen than before we started this conversation.’