For The Love of Ash

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For The Love of Ash Page 18

by Taylor Lavati


  It was a ghost town. The couple had already finished and was gone. Mary Ellen was leaning through the window to the kitchen, jabbering with Jet who looked like he hadn't moved a muscle.

  "I'm heading out," I said as I looked at the large circular clock on the wall. It was quarter to two, and despite Starbucks being a mile away, I wanted to be there on time, early even so I could mentally prepare.

  "Have fun on your date!" Jet yelled towards me. I didn't mention anything about a date, so I spun towards him with wide eyes.

  "How do you know I'm going on a date?"

  "Please. You're so spun up; I don't know what else could be the reason."

  "He's right," Mary Ellen agreed, and I shot her a glare. Traitor!

  "Whatever. Later, jerks." I threw up my middle finger as I walked out of Prime Time. They hooted and hollered, wolf-whistling towards me as I made my dramatic exit. I loved them.

  I sat in my car and watched Luke pull up two spots down from me in his black truck. I crouched down so that he wouldn't see me, leaning back so my face was shielded by the door. When he jumped out and ruffled his hair in the mirror, my heart flip-flopped.

  He walked into the building, and I straightened myself up. The entire front of the coffee place was glass windows. They had Halloween decorations on the glass, little cut-outs of ghosts, witches, and haunted house silhouettes.

  I pushed out a large breath and decided that I had to go in. I had my backpack with me, with all of the things I needed for the project, and I slung it over my back.

  My fingers were already itching to grab ahold of something and spin it around. It was a bad habit. I decided to smoke a cigarette really quick to calm myself down before I faced Luke. I walked around the side of my car and lit up, hoping that my Honda would hide me from Luke's gray eyes. I didn't want him to know I was here yet.

  "A smoker, huh?" Busted.

  "What's it to you?" I asked back defensively. I didn't know why his tone bothered me so much, like he was judging me, but it did. He reached forward before I could react and took the cigarette from my fingers.

  "Hey!" I yelled. He threw it to the ground and stomped on it, putting it out and spreading the tobacco across the pavement. "Those cost a lot of money, you know."

  "So stop smoking, save money." He grinned and pulled me against his chest, wrapping his arm over my shoulder. "Let's get a drink." I glared up at him, but the warmth and comfort from his arm around my shoulders shut me up fast.

  I was assaulted by the smell of freshly ground coffee beans. I loved coffee—everything from the scent, to the rush, to the warm way it swam down my throat. Just thinking about it made me want to snuggle by my non-existent fireplace.

  "What can I get you?" Luke asked as we stopped at the back of the line. It was the middle of the day so there weren't many people around. I didn't come here much—it was too expensive for my budget—so I perused the chalkboard, trying to read the mostly Italian words.

  "Next!" the woman behind the counter called. I had no idea what I wanted, and I was hoping that it would just come to me like an epiphany. How did you just say, I want a coffee with milk and a ton of sugar here?

  "I'll have a dark roast with half and half, please," Luke said effortlessly. He looked down at me, his neck craning down to see me since I was so much shorter.

  "Um, can I just have a medium coffee with milk and sugar?" My voice was timid, a trait it rarely took on. Luke smiled at the woman behind the counter and handed her a gift card.

  "You have only thirty dollars left on the card," she flirted, twirling a strand of platinum blonde hair around her pointer finger. I wanted to glare but held back because I had no claim over Luke.

  "Thanks a lot," Luke said and turned towards me. He grabbed my hand and led me around the dark wood counter where there was a set of four stools set up.

  "You two friends?" I asked as I sat down on the stool closest to the wall.

  "Something like that." He looked behind the counter without elaborating further. I followed his eyes and saw a series of devices coated in shiny silver and puffing steam.

  The barista was zipping around, alternating between the sink and the machines, her legs moving fast. She had a rag draped over her shoulder, brownish stains lining the edges.

  "Hello?" Luke's hand waved in front of my face, drawing me back to reality. I shook my head and focused on him, his light eyes captivating me. I seriously needed to get it together.

  "Sorry. What did you say?"

  "One regular coffee and one dark roast for Luke," the barista yelled. She placed the two white cups in front of us, and stuck the stopper in the small oval hole.

  "Let's go sit," Luke said. I followed behind him to a small circular table. Luke sat on one side, and I decided to sit on the other. Being close to him made me flustered, so I figured the most space between us would be best so my brain worked. I dropped my backpack on the ground and pulled the stopper out of the coffee.

  I took a sip and immediately flinched backwards. The coffee definitely had no sugar in it. It was bitter, and kind of burnt. Luke laughed as I set the cup back down on the table.

  "Not your taste?" he asked as he took a sip of his own.

  "It's fine," I muttered.

  "I thought you liked coffee. You always drink it in class."

  "I'm a more Dunkin' Donuts kind of girl."

  "I see."

  "So, what do you say we get started on our notecards?"

  "Relax. Let's do it later. I want to talk."

  "About what?"

  "You." My heart nearly stopped. "I want to know more about you, Sunny. So tell me."

  "I don't really like to spill my guts on the first date."

  "So this is a date," he drawled, winking at me. I glared and took another sip of the shitty coffee. "Seriously, give me something, Sunny."

  "Well I heard you've been to jail." I shrugged, hiding behind my mug.

  "One: That's not about you. And two: It's an exaggerated rumor." He rolled his eyes, both hands around the cup in front of him. His hands were so large, they covered most of the white.

  "Will you tell me what happened?"

  "I got in a bar fight. The guy hit me first, so I fought back. We both got put in jail until we sobered up. Neither of us pressed charges and that was about as far as it got. It really wasn't a big thing."

  "You have a habit of getting into fights at bars?"

  "I was a dumb rich kid who was finally out of the house. What can I say?" The way he said it almost came off as cocky.

  "Are you violent?" I asked, cocking my head. I was genuinely curious.

  "No." He paused. "Is that what you're worried about? I swear I'm not." He reached forward and grabbed my fingers, holding them in his hand. He squeezed them together.

  "I just wanted to make sure."

  "I'm not violent. But if a guy touched you like that again you can bet I'd make sure you're safe. I'd do the same for my sisters." His eyes were hard, honest.

  "Is that how you view me? Like your sisters?"

  "I think you know that's not true." His gray eyes locked on mine as he pulled my hand forward, lacing our fingers together on top of the table. Where his fingers touched mine, pulses of heat vibrated through my body, jolting me. I couldn't focus on anything but his eyes.

  "How do you see me then?"

  "You're beautiful." He paused and smiled. "Smart. You're loyal, especially to Asher. You're responsible and committed, maybe even a little overprotective. And you have this fire to you that I find so appealing." He bent towards the table and kissed my hand like a Prince would.

  My hands had begun to sweat. I pulled it out of his reach and onto my lap, wiping my palm on my jeans. I hoped that he didn't notice.

  "I think we should get started on the project." I looked down at my bag to hide my heated cheeks. My stomach was lifted, like butterflies were making me fly. I felt like I had no trouble in the world, and then all at once, guilt overtook me.

  "Tell me a secret," he said as he t
ook a sip of his dark coffee.

  "We really have to start. We don't have too long before I have to get Asher." I made the mistake of looking up, and I caught the hurt expression on Luke's face.

  "You're right," he said, recovering fast. He nodded with what seemed like a fake smile on his face.

  "I'm sorry. It's just… I can't, like, move too fast, you know? I'm not used to juggling everything. I don't want to be a shitty parent to Ash. And then June said that her parents were never around, and it just freaked me out. And now I'm just rambling…" I shook my hand and dropped it in my hands.

  "Hey." Luke reached forward and pulled my arms onto the table so I couldn't hide. "I'm not rushing. Friends, first, okay? I can go slowly. I just want to know you, Maggie. I swear I have good intentions."

  "I don't know if I can ever give you what you want."

  "I won't give up," he said, mimicking what he told me in the diner. I smiled as he held my hands, my face igniting.

  "I might be changing my mind…"

  By the time I looked up, it was starting to get dark. I looked down at my phone and saw that it was almost four, which meant that I had to go get Asher from school.

  "I'm sorry, I have to go," I said while I shoved the notes in my bag. Luke frowned at me but stayed quiet, letting me pack up. I found the garbage can in the corner of the place and walked over to dump my half-drank coffee. On top of the can were two pitchers and two shakers full of what I was guessing was cream and sugar. Figures I'd find it now.

  "Let me walk you to your car," Luke said when I returned.

  "How chivalrous." I joked, winking up at him.

  Luke hugged me at the car, his thick arms around my neck and back. It felt comforting and fated to let him hold me. When he pulled back, he looked at me with hooded eyes like he might kiss me. I didn't think I was ready for that, so I quickly turned around and threw my bag into the back seat.

  Luke leaned on the open door as I crouched in and turned the key. But it wouldn't start. My car sputtered, but it just wouldn't catch. After five or so tries, I banged my hand against the steering wheel.

  "Damn it," I yelled, pressing my forehead against the wheel. "I just fucking bought this."

  "Hop out." He moved to the side, pulling the door open farther, and gestured for me to leave. Holding back tears, I stepped out and let Luke take my place. He climbed into my seat, crouching down since it was so low to the ground.

  I grabbed a cigarette out of my pocket and sucked in a full lungful. This was bullshit. I needed this stupid car to work perfectly. Asher had to be picked up in fifteen minutes for hockey. I couldn't live without a car.

  "Sorry, Sunny. Looks like you need to get it looked at," he said as he gave up trying. It just wouldn't start.

  "Fuck," I muttered and turned around so my back was to Luke. I didn't want him to see the disappointment and tears on my face.

  "Let me drive you until you get it fixed up."

  "I don't really have a choice."

  "You sure know how to make me feel needed."

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Maggie

  I knew that Ash wouldn't recognize the large truck, so as Luke pulled in front of the school, I jumped out when he was nearly stopped. I heard him chuckle behind me, but it didn't stop me from trying to put as much space between us as possible.

  The end of the day bell chimed from within the school, and within seconds, the front hallway was flooded with students under five feet tall. It was like a sea of munchkins from the Wizard of Oz.

  Ash was one of the first out of the school, and I was genuinely excited to see him. My day was not a great one thanks to an early morning drunk phone call from Margo telling me to get a life, and just his bubbly face was enough to skyrocket my mood into happiness. Although the date with Luke helped a bit.

  "How was your day?" I asked him as he threw his backpack at me. I caught it, luckily, and swung it over my back. I walked towards the parking lot where I saw Luke parked with his unnecessarily large truck.

  "Good. Can we stop before hockey? I'm so hungry."

  "Didn't you get lunch?"

  "I wasn't hungry. I only ate like half of my nuggets."

  "Nuggets are your favorite though."

  "They aren't my favorite anymore," he said and took my hand. I walked up to the truck and opened the back door. The wheels made it tall, so it was hard enough for me to jump in without breaking my neck that I knew Ash would have trouble.

  "Did you get a new car?" he asked, not having noticed Luke yet.

  "Hey, buddy!" Luke said as he turned around in the seat.

  "Mr. Wilson! What are you doing here?"

  "Your—"

  "My car had a problem, so Mr. Wilson agreed to drive us around today. Luke will be driving us to your practice and bringing us home." I reached across Asher's lap and buckled his belt. I left his backpack on the ground and then shut him in the car. I had to walk all the way around the back to get to the passenger side.

  When I finally climbed in, I sighed in relief and buckled myself. Luke and Ash were talking about some incident in gym class where a kid got hit in the face with a wayward baseball. Ash was in stitches.

  "So, where am I going?" Luke asked as he started the car again.

  "It's kind of a long drive. Take route fifteen."

  "That's okay. We can listen to music. What's your favorite kind?"

  "Oh—" I was about to say z100. Luke reached over the middle console and took my hand in his. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Ash looking out of his window, completely oblivious to Luke caressing the back of my hand.

  "I was talking to Asher."

  "Jerk," I muttered, as I pulled my hand back and slapped Luke's chest.

  Luke parked the truck and I jumped out of the passenger seat as quickly as possible. The sexually charged tension in the air was starting to get to me. His fingers intertwined with mine were sending shockwaves down into my pants. I felt as if I might blow up right there.

  I pulled the black bag out of the bed of the truck and dropped it on the ground. The back of the truck came up to my chest, so it was no small feat to get the damn thing down.

  "I would have done that," Luke said as he rounded the other side.

  "I'm used to it," I told him with a smile. Luke was faster than me and grabbed the stick from the truck and grinned at me, almost like he was sticking out his tongue.

  "Gimme gimme!" Ash said as he saw the stick in Luke's hands.

  "Hey, be nice. He did drive us here."

  "Sorry. Can I have my stick?" Ash asked, his hand out.

  "Sure." Luke nodded and handed the blue stick over. Ash didn't wait for us to follow; he turned and sprinted across the parking lot towards the rink. Within a minute, he disappeared.

  "Let me take that," Luke said as he pulled the bag from my back without even asking. I let him since it was about as heavy as Ash and killed my lower back. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop from smiling.

  "Shoot, I have to take this," Luke said as he pulled his cellphone from his pocket. It was blinking with a girl's face on the front. I just assumed from the light hair and eyes that it was one of his sisters. I nodded, and he turned his back to me.

  I leaned against the white wall in the hallway of the rink and tried to stop imagining kissing Luke. I didn't know if it was spending so much time with him or what, but I wanted to jump him, and it was a startling thought.

  "Do you want to go sit in the car?" Luke asked when he came back. He looked down at his phone. I peeked over and saw that we still had thirty minutes to kill before Ash's practice even started.

  "Okay." My voice chirped, like I had been surprised. I shook my head and stood up behind Luke and followed him back out to the truck. My fingers were glued to the bottom of my jacket, twirling the zipper.

  Luke pulled open the passenger door and held it open for me. "Thank you," I said as I climbed in. He shut it and then ran around the back. When the driver's side door opened, I jumped at the loudness.


  "Do you want to go back inside?" Luke asked, noticing my jumpiness.

  "No. I'm fine," I said, my voice as quiet as a whisper.

  "Is it me? Do you honestly not like me, Sunny?"

  "No," I said way too fast. "I'm just fighting myself here."

  "There's nothing to fight."

  "There is. That kid in there deserves way better than what my parents gave me. He deserves all of my affection. I don't know how to juggle more. I'm just not good at this yet."

  "He's a good kid. You're a good mom." Luke reached over and took both of my hands in his. I didn't have a choice but to look up at him. His eyes were honest, but they tortured me with their sincerity.

  "I'm his sister," I said under my breath, squeezing my eyes shut.

  "What?"

  "Asher is my younger brother. When my parents died, I took custody of him. He calls me his mom because our mother was a bitch. He said that I loved him more than she ever did. Do you know how terrible but wonderful that feels?"

  "Jesus," Luke said as he ran his hand through his hair. "Whether you gave birth to him or not, you're his mom."

  "Which is why we can never be a we."

  "I didn't say that."

  "But I did." I turned and looked out the window, trying to control my emotions. I wasn't a romantic, but for some reason, being with Luke made me think that there could be a future there. There was potential for more.

  "I won't hurt you. Either of you."

  "And I don't believe you."

  "Give me a shot, Maggie. All I'm asking for is a fucking shot."

  "Why me? Why are you so interested in me?"

  "You're strange."

  "Thanks." I glared at him, narrowing my eyes and pursing my lips.

  "Not in a bad way. I mean you're like two people in one. You have this outgoing, snarky side, but then you come off so nervous and closed off. Your fingers are always clutching your shirt, like that—" He pointed to my lap, where I was indeed twirling my zipper again. "—But your eyes are wide, curious. I don't understand how you can be so different, yet the same."

 

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