Vow Unbroken

by Caryl McAdoo

  She smiled at him, then listened to the males’ banter as she heaped their plates full. Henry was going to have to separate his belongings out of their shared trunk; she had to give him time for that. The boy burst out laughing, drawing her attention. She smiled. Being around the man had made such a difference in her nephew. Another thing she’d miss by not having Henry in her life, Levi and Becky would suffer his loss as well.

  Sue couldn’t imagine what her daughter would do when she found out. Becky would probably hate her for not marrying him anyway, but she’d just have to understand that God must always come first. Henry was such a good man, but good wasn’t enough; he had to be a believer. And she had to bring it up again. She would not risk his life, no matter what.

  He set his cup down. “Levi, your aunt Sue and I need to go to the countinghouse this morning. How about you go to the steamboat with the trunks?”

  “I can do that; want me to hire a wagon or something?”

  “No, the captain said he would see to it, but I’d like you to be along.”

  The boy sat taller. “Yes, sir, I’ll keep an eye on things.”

  Henry pulled out a wad of printed tickets from his inside vest pocket and handed one to Levi. “Put everything in our room.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Oh, Lord, he’d already bought the tickets. Should she tell him before they even went to the countinghouse? Let him know not to load his things onto the steamboat?

  At first light, she looked around. She hoped she hadn’t forgotten anything. She’d cleaned and packed her skillets and Dutch oven after breakfast. Henry and Levi waited by the gangplank. Her nephew stood guard over the trunks and the bundle of furs that lay on top. Sue took her daughter’s hand. “I think we’re ready then.”

  She should say something. The longer she waited, the worse it would be.

  A cloud settled over her heart. Would this be her last morning with him? The last hours and minutes she and Henry Buckmeyer would spend together? She hoped he’d be able to redeem his steamboat ticket. After she paid his wages and replaced his mule and musket, would she have enough money for the trip to Memphis and home again?

  And what about Blue? She couldn’t separate Becky from that dog, especially after taking Henry from her. Would he even consider selling Blue to her after she broke his heart?

  Henry led the way off the flatboat while all her chaotic questions cluttered her brain. He waited on the dock for her, then offered his arm. She knew one thing for certain. She had way more questions than answers.

  Like it was just another day with nothing special on her mind, she strolled with him to the Wilkins and Linton Counting House. As she walked, putting one foot in front of the other as though everything was perfectly normal, she guessed that it would just all have to come out after the money, because, well, there the place stood. The brick, two-story building looked rather ordinary except for the heavy oak door laden with brass hinges and a double lock.

  Henry knocked. Shortly, a little window in the middle of the oversize door opened, and a man’s face peered out. “Good morning, may I help you folks?”

  “We have bearer notes we’d like to cash.” Henry held up the papers.

  The little window closed, and the big door opened. As soon as she and Henry walked in with Becky and the dog following, the man shut the door and locked it tight. He eyed Blue and the girl but didn’t say anything and gestured toward a table with chairs. “May I see your notes, sir?”

  Henry handed them over identifying which was whose. Within minutes, the banker returned, carrying a tray laden with gold and silver coins. He stacked forty twenty-dollar gold pieces in eight neat columns in front of Sue, then placed twenty silver dollars behind them as though they were the poor relatives or distant cousins.

  She’d never seen so much money at one time, much less owned it. All these weeks and months, this was the moment she’d been working toward. All the plowing, planting, hoeing, and picking—all that work. Finally. Paid off. She’d sown, and as scripture promised, she now reaped. God had indeed blessed the work of her hands. Tears filled her eyes.

  Father. Thank You.

  Then her elation fell to the pit. Staring at the fortune before her, Sue realized none of it was going to be worth anything without Henry.

  Becky leaned over and stared at the stacks. “Mama, I think we’re rich.” She reached out and took a coin, examining it more closely.

  “Well, I don’t know about that; does look like we won’t starve this year, thanks be to the Lord.” Sue made herself smile at her little girl. But it was not a smile from her heart. There were no smiles in her heart. She couldn’t go to Memphis. Oh, she’d told herself she and Becky would go to see her father, play it out and see what happened, but doing so would only send Henry the message that she would marry him with her father’s blessing, and she could not do that.

  She had to tell him—again. Maybe he’d listen this time.

  The banker placed nineteen gold coins and another ten silver ones in front of Henry. He pushed a piece of paper each in front of her and Henry. “Please sign or make your mark.” Reaching across the table, he tapped the line at the bottom of each of the papers.

  Henry signed first, a quick scribble that she couldn’t have read if she didn’t know his name. Only a few letters in the scrawl were legible. She wrote her signature in the neat penmanship that she’d been taught so long ago.

  Sue picked up a gold coin and closed her eyes, trying to remember the last time she’d held twenty dollars at one time. She set it back, then faced Henry. A lot of it was his anyway. “Would you please keep this safe for me?”

  He nodded once and smiled. “My pleasure.” He put all the coins in his saddlebag, draped it over his shoulder, then stood. He extended his hand, and she let him pull her to her feet. Becky followed beside Blue Dog. Her little optimistic world was about to be blown asunder.

  Dear God, please prepare her, protect her heart.

  Once outside, Sue let him lead her toward the wharf. With each step, the heaviness in her chest increased, until she could hardly breathe. Every time her heart pounded against it, she thought the organ might burst. He turned the corner. A steamboat slightly bobbed by the dock in all its pristine grandeur.

  She stopped and pulled away. The tears flowed freely down her cheeks. “I can’t. I’m sorry. We can’t.”

  He faced her. “Sue, what’s wrong? You can’t board the steamer? Why?”

  She ducked her head, then shook it slowly back and forth. Her shoulders heaved and her gut knotted. She made herself look him in the eyes. “I love you, Henry, I do, with all of my heart and every part of my being, but even if Daddy gives his blessing, I cannot marry you if you are not born again.”

  * * *

  HE HEARD HER WORDS. He saw the tears. But nothing made sense. She loved him, but even if her father— “But, sweetheart? You’re not making any sense. I told you—”

  “Mama! What are you saying?” Rebecca grabbed her mother’s hand. “It’s all set! We’re going to be a family! Daddy loves you. You love him. What’s wrong with you?”

  Sue looked from Rebecca back to him. “It’s—it’s—I do love you, but, Henry, you’re not a believer. It would be a disaster if we married. You might die.” She kneeled and hugged her daughter. “I’m sorry, Becky. I know you love him, too. But it would be just like me running off with your father. I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to Henry because of my disobedience. I cannot marry him.”

  Tears wet her face and her dress, and she buried her face in her daughter’s apron and sobbed.

  Henry filled his lungs. He should have told her before, bless her heart. All this time, he’d thought she wasn’t herself over meeting with her father, facing him again after so long.

  The little girl took off her mother’s hat and hugged her head to her chest. “No, Mama, you have to. Tell her, Daddy. Tell her.” She laid her head on Sue’s hair and wept right along with her.

  It cut his heart to see her h
urting so, to see both of them in such pain. He kneeled beside them. “Sue, look at me.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t. Please, just go.”

  “Rebecca, will you look at me?”

  The girl caught her breath, sniffed twice, then nodded and looked up.

  “Good, thank you. Now will you please tell your mother that the Good Lord has saved my soul, and that I’m on my way to Heaven?”

  Sue looked up. She stared at him as though she hadn’t heard him right. “What? When? I thought you—”

  He took a deep breath, then blew it out. “I’m so sorry. I should have told you. It happened in the water with that dog. For a bit there, I thought I wasn’t going to make it, that I had gone and got myself killed.”

  She swiped at her cheek. “I thought so, too, and that it was a warning from God what would happen if—”

  “But I cried out to the Lord, Sue, and He saved me.”

  She held up both hands and glared at him. “Why! Why didn’t you tell me? You knew I was upset! How many times have I brought it up? I can’t believe that you’ve let me—”

  “I thought you were only worried about seeing your father again. Why didn’t you say something?”

  “Me! Why didn’t I say something? Patrick Henry Buckmeyer! I did! More than once! And you just kept telling me you were fine with the man upstairs. Why couldn’t you tell me when you got saved? I’d think you’d shout it from the rooftops! Why are you acting like it was nothing important?”

  “Well.” He searched her eyes. “I wanted to tell you, but I figured it best to wait.”

  “Wait? Why in the world wait? Why not just tell me what’s going on with you? Why don’t you ever tell me what’s going on with you?” She stood and stomped her foot. “Would that have been such a hard thing?” She stared at him like she wanted to hit him.

  He shook his head. “That dog had pulled me so far under, Sue, and I couldn’t hold my breath another second. In my head, I hollered, screamed for dear life, ‘Jesus! Save me!’ Then, someway or another, I don’t know exactly how, I was able to get a breath. He saved me. I knew it was Him. I was drowning, then suddenly, I could breathe.”

  “You’ve been saved?”

  “Yes, Mama, didn’t you hear?” Becky jumped up and down clapping.

  Sue’s lips thinned, and her eyes bore into him. She seethed inside. “So what? For five days now, you’ve been a Christian, and you didn’t think I’d want to know that?”

  He gave her his little-boy crooked grin, but she wasn’t having any part of letting him off the hook! “I can’t believe you, Henry!”

  “I did want to make sure it was real, that He hadn’t just saved my life but actually saved my soul.” He added a shrug. “Guess I was waiting to get baptized, too, do it up right.”

  * * *

  SUE’S LIPS SPREAD into a slight smile, and a weight that had been keeping her heart so far down she wasn’t sure it would ever see the light of joy again lifted completely. The sky got bluer, and, all of a sudden, she heard the birds singing. She wanted to kiss him, but, at the same time, thought about slapping him. She couldn’t believe he’d kept such an important thing from her.

  “So is it? Real? Are you sure that you’re really saved now?”

  He nodded. “Yes, my love, it is. I’m sure. I gave my life to Him. I’m a bona fide, born-again believer in Jesus Christ and in what He gave so that I could be saved.”

  “And you’re not just saying that?”

  “No.” He laughed. “It’s real. For the first time in my life, I know my heart is clean. I want you to be my wife, and I promise you that I will get your father’s blessing, no matter what it takes.” He stood there holding out his hand to her.

  Fear washed over her. “But what if—”

  “Sue, have I ever let you down? Have I ever not kept my word to you?”

  She took his hand and let him pull her close, then threw her arms around his neck. But suddenly, she pushed back and looked to the right and to the left. People all around had stopped and were watching. She took a step back and held her hand in front of her, palm up. “I need some of my money.”

  He burst out laughing. “You do?”

  “Yes, sir! I’ve got a wedding to get ready for.”

  He dug into his pocket and handed her several coins. “Think that’ll be enough?”

  She examined her palm, put the coins in her skirt pocket, then hugged him again. “Yes, yes, yes! I love you so much!”

  Becky hugged him and her mother. “Me, too! I love both of you!”

  * * *

  “HOW ABOUT YOU AND BLUE going on aboard? Becky and I need to find a few things before we sail.”

  Rebecca tugged on her mother’s hand. “Why can’t Daddy and Blue go with us?”

  “Dogs usually aren’t welcome in ladies’ shops, sweetheart.”

  The girl screwed her face. “Well, I don’t see why. He’s such a good boy.” She kneeled and gave the animal a kiss. “I’ll be back, Blue. You stay with Daddy.”

  Henry handed Sue two tickets. “The ship will ring three warning bells before it sails.”

  “We won’t be long.”

  Henry located his and Levi’s room. The boy sat on the bed; the trunks and furs filled one corner. “Thank you, son. Did the steward give you a key?”

  The boy held it out. “Yes, sir.”

  Henry took it, then flipped him a silver dollar. “We’ve got some time. Go see what you can find.”

  The boy caught it midair. “Yes, sir.”

  Henry held up a finger. “When you hear the boat’s bell ringing, don’t dillydally. She’ll sail whether you’re aboard or not.”

  “I’ll keep an ear out. Thanks.”

  Henry busied himself unpacking, then took to working on the big honey jar. Without too much of a mess, he retrieved its contents. Once the coins were washed, he laid everything on the dresser. He spread out his inheritance, pieces from his mother, until it covered the surface. Looked like a jewelry store.

  He studied it. She’d always loved the sparkle of gold and jewels and invested every extra coin; left him a fortune, but he’d trade it all to have her back.

  She would have loved Susannah, but even more she would have loved to see him finally saved. He let himself follow that train of thought for a minute, then came to a conundrum. Would he have ever come with Sue if his mother had still been alive, if she was still sick and bedfast? She’d be so surprised to see him in Heaven. He smiled. Had it taken her death for him to finally come to salvation?

  Before a solid answer presented itself, the first warning bell rang. He scooped everything off the dresser, raised his shirt, and tucked the valuables into the new money belt that the cap tain had found for him. He tossed his saddlebags under the bed and pointed at Blue. “Stay.”

  The dog turned a tight circle, then lay down. A louder second bell clanged as he reached the lower railing. Sue and Rebecca stood on the wharf behind a short line of well-dressed folks. Both of his ladies held wrapped, string-tied packages.

  * * *

  SUE AND BECKY BOARDED and searched the wharf with Henry, but there was no sign of Levi. The deckhands went to throwing off the mooring lines and preparing to shove off just as the boy showed. He jumped on, waving up at her. “Whew! Sorry, didn’t mean to worry you.”

  “I’m proud you made it. I’d hate to leave my favorite nephew behind in New Orleans.”

  Henry offered his arm again, which she simply loved. If he only knew how much! She looped her near arm through his and placed her other hand on top.

  “Wait till you see it, Aunt Sue!” Levi held his hands out. “Come on, Bitty Beck. You can ride on my shoulders.”

  His cousin put her hands on her hips. “I’m getting much too big for that.” She grinned, then softened her tone. “I would be pleased to take your arm, though.”

  Henry beamed, showing Sue and Becky the grand steamboat. Its two fancy-topped chimneys that climbed high into the sky belched white smoke that curled awa
y from the wharf.

  Rebecca pointed at the little gingerbread wood-and-glass house perched in the middle at the very top. “Is that where the captain steers the boat? Way up there?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Either him or the first mate.”

  Sue’s gaze climbed the three decks, each fenced with pristine white railings. Her assessment ended at the rear of the boat with its huge paddle. Then she turned back to him.

  He grinned. “You like those flags there on the jack staff?”

  She loved it when he acted playful with her. “Oh yes, very gallant those pennants.”

  The deck and everything inside the big vessel overwhelmed her. Beautifully carved wooden arches, one after another after another, lined both sides of the grand hall. Elegant crystal chandeliers hung in the center from the entry all the way to the far end of the magnificent room. Overstuffed chairs invited seating; and musicians played harps, flutes, and violins.

  “Mama, it’s so—it’s so fancy!”

  “Come this way. We’re on the second deck across the hall from each other.” Henry led her up the wide stairs, then down to room 68. He opened the door.

  “Oh, Henry!” Sue grinned and twirled into the room, falling across the bed laughing.

  Becky followed suit and jumped on the soft mattress beside her. “Mama! I am surprised at you! Don’t you know we do not treat other people’s furniture that way?” She fell into a pile of giggles as Sue tickled her relentlessly.

  “I can’t breathe. Stop it, please! Stop, Mama!”

  Henry tipped his hat. “We’ll let you ladies get unpacked and see you a bit later.”

  “That sounds lovely. If not before, at dinnertime?”

  “There’s a calliope on the upper deck that announces the noonday meal. I’ll call for you, and we can go down together.”

  Sue closed the door and locked it, then ran to the steamer trunk where she had packed her material. She removed the bolt and laid it on the bed next to the packages.