Louis, Molly & the Woodchuck

by Michael Arnold

Chapter 6

  Worker A’s eyes bulged like a flaring sore. He had taken a few steps forward but now he retreated backward, staring at the animal on top of the boxes. His hands jittered, as he tripped over the open cartons.

  A pat on my back, looks like he may be a little scared of me, the woodchuck thought, flashing Worker A a menacing grin, showing his white, sharp teeth.

  “I knew you would come back. You want answers. You want to know why I sold you to the cheapest buyer. You were tearing up all my furniture, Wilber. I couldn’t afford to take care of you and take care of my furniture. It was getting too expensive. It was either my love seat or you, and I picked you,” Worker A said.

  He sold Wilber – me – to the cheapest buyer? What in heaven’s name is he talking about, the woodchuck wondered. His mind drifted to figure out what Worker A was talking about. But to figure out would take time, and to take time would be taking away his opportunity of getting grapes out of that trailer. He would have to act fast. Either Louis or Worker B would be back soon and if that happened, it could spoil everything.

  “I loved you. I really did. I didn’t want to let you go. But you didn’t understand how to keep clean. You were a dirty little hamster,” Worker A said, tears pearling at the rim of his eyes.

  Hamster, what? So I was a pet? Hum, this is getting very interesting.

  “I don’t know how you found out that I was going to be here today, but please, Wilber, can you find a place in your heart to forgive me for what I am about to say?” Worker A asked.

  The woodchuck swung his head from side to side like dogs do when they seem to be trying to comprehend what humans are saying. This gave Worker A some indication that the woodchuck, his Wilber, was paying attention. “I know you want to come home, but I have another hamster that I take care of now.”

  The woodchuck wanted to laugh for once. He wasn’t in a predicament where he was facing an apparent danger. From the look on Worker A’s face, the woodchuck was a danger to him. When the woodchuck didn’t respond, only because he didn’t know what to say, Worker A decided that he was going to get out of the trailer.

  “Are you really him, Wilber, or is he dead and you’re his ghost?” Worker A asked. Before anything could take place after Worker A’s statement, a growling snarl ascended from behind Worker A. He turned in its direction in a hurry to see a sizable dog, a multicolored dog at that. Worker A was sure of what his mind was telling him all along, and that was to run.

  “Nice doggy, don’t you come any closer,” Worker A said as he rested a steady gaze on Louis. Louis realized that there wasn’t enough time to toy with Worker A. He saw considerable fear on his face. Before Louis could get up the ramp, Worker A was out of the trailer, screaming as he ran out of the shopping center.

  “Well, I officially have another name for you!” Louis said as he climbed into the trailer.

  “Don’t even tell me. I figured that you were somewhere around and you heard everything!”

  “Yes, I heard everything, hamster. How do you do, hamster?” Louis said.

  “Alright, knock it off, hairball. You had your laugh for today,” the woodchuck said.

  “I must say, I am surprised. Your plan actually worked better, Woodchuck,” Louis said, tearing boxes and pulling out more of the store’s produce.

  “What do you know? Louis is giving me some credit for once in his life. It’s going to snow pink grapes!”

  “Yeah, I did. Don’t let it go to your head though. We have to hurry. The other one will be back out of the store soon.”

  It wasn’t until they tore through three more boxes that they found the grapes.

  “Yes, I’m in grape heaven. The grape Gods have seen my great and unbearable distress, and they took pity on me. Thank you, grape Gods!” the woodchuck said, lying amongst the bags of grapes.

  “Alright, Woodchuck, we don’t have all morning. Get as much grapes as you can carry. What you can’t get, I’ll carry it out.”

  “Sounds like a plan to me,” the woodchuck agreed.

  They didn’t have time to get two bags of grapes before Worker B came up the incline. Louis and the woodchuck spotted him first, but it didn’t matter, they were suddenly faced with what would have been a cake walk out of the trailer, which now turned into a real problem. How were they going to get out, not only with the store’s produce, but without being harmed?

  “Louis, what are we going to do?” the woodchuck whispered.

  “Why are you always asking me that when we seem to be in trouble? I don’t have any ideas right now. I’m fresh out.”

  “Fresh out? What does that mean, Louis?”

  “It means, because you didn’t follow my plan from the beginning, it means that we don’t have a plan anymore, okay?” Louis retorted.

  “Wait a second. You just said that my plan worked better, remember?” the woodchuck asked, eyes of concern locked on a confused Louis.

  “Well, I have the right to change my mind. This is a free country, I thought, Woodchuck!”

  Worker B stopped mid-way up the ramp when he saw several candy bars lying unopened on the top of the ramp.

  Dang it! Does he have the sense he was born with? If he is going to open the boxes and take something, he, at least, need to be discreet about it. I will deal with him when I get in the trailer. I don’t want to say anything that anyone can hear, Worker B thought.

  When he got in sight of the torn boxes and the store’s produce scattered all over the trailer’s floor, Worker B dropped his dolly right where he stood, and if that wasn’t enough of a surprise for him, he saw Louis and the woodchuck standing at the back of the trailer, the woodchuck holding a bag of grapes.

  “How did you get in my trailer, you ugly dog? And a rat? You messed up my trailer!” Worker B yelled.

  The woodchuck saw something that he didn’t see in Worker A’s eyes.

  “I guess that, again, you leave me with no choice, Louis!” the woodchuck said. He stepped out from amongst the clutter of boxes and the store’s produce that covered the floor. He advanced toward the worker, walking as if his name had been roll called. Worker B bent down to get a better look at what was before his eyes.

  “What do you know; a real live hamster. This thing is wearing a scarf. It must belong to someone!” Worker B said then glanced up at the dog.

  “I see a name tag on you. Come here, dog. Let me see who you belong to.” Worker B said.

  Louis didn’t budge. He stood there like he didn’t hear Worker B or understand him.

  I guess I better do it now, the woodchuck thought. He started a wild dance, moving his front legs about, spinning on one leg, all while propped on his hind legs.

  “Hey, Nelson, where in the world are you? You got to see this dancing hamster! Come on, hamster, I have to put you in a safe place. I can make some big money with you dancing like that.”

  Worker B reached out his hand to pick up the dancing hamster when the woodchuck snapped at his thumb, biting it.

  “Aah! You little sharp teeth hamster, you bit me!”

  “That’s for calling me a hamster!” the woodchuck yelled.

  But to Worker B, his clear and blunt words, sounded like an incomprehensible squeal.

  “Quick, we have to get the grapes and get out of here, Woodchuck,” Louis yelled.

  “Got you, Louis,” the woodchuck shouted in reply.

  As he ran toward the back to retrieve the grapes, Worker B swatted at the woodchuck like a fly.

  “Where do you think you’re going, hamster?”

  “Louis, I need you like right now!” the woodchuck screamed from inside a box of popcorn.

  While Louis stood his ground, barking at Worker B, he went after the woodchuck.

  “You’re nothing but a sheep dog. Now if you were a pit bull, that would be a different story, but since you are nothing more than a big, ugly sheep dog, you won’t harm a fly!”

  Worker B got to the box in which the woodchuck was, and before the
woodchuck could get out, Louis jumped up, grabbing Worker B’s shirt and pulling on it, then the both of them pulled in opposite direction. When Louis let go, ending the tug of war, Worker B ran head first into the wall of the trailer.

  “Whoa! My head! I hurt my head!” Worker B shouted, holding his forehead while lying in a pile of boxes.

  The woodchuck was up and finally out of the box. Worker B was slow to react. He was still lying there in between the boxes when the woodchuck took one of the grapes out of a bag that had been torn during their clash and slung it at Worker B. The grape did nothing, except smash against his face and slide down on to one of the boxes.

  “Now maybe we can try this again, Louis!”

  They quickly went back to the scene of their crime. But, apparently, from the upturned scowl and the yell of, “I’m not done with the two of you yet. Nelson, where are you?” Worker B wanted to prevent Louis and the woodchuck from getting out of the trailer.

  “Grab what you can grab, Woodchuck. I will take care of him.”

  “You’re sure you don’t need my…”

  “Go now, Woodchuck!” Louis yelled.

  The woodchuck hurried to the very back of the trailer.

  “I see what this is. This is some kind of animal versus human thing.” Worker B’s voice sounded off just as much as his balance. “You two done something to Nelson. I know Nelson and he just doesn’t disappear like that!” Worker B yelled.

  From time to time the woodchuck shot a glance back, hoping that whatever Louis was going to do to get them out of the trailer, he’d do it once he was able to retrieve the bag or bags of grapes out of the boxes and off the tin floor.

  Worker B charged Louis. He wasn’t ready but was able to counter Worker B’s attack by going between his legs.

  “You dog, where did you go?” Ignorantly, he searched in front of him. “You! There you are. I’m going to get you.” Worker B returned his attention to the woodchuck then walked through the mess on the floor in an attempt to get to him.

  “I’m almost done, Louis. We have a lot of bags here!” the woodchuck yelled.

  Worker B could see Louis drawing closer to him, but he continued to move down the path of busted up boxes and produce to get to him. Louis followed closely. Worker B kicked the boxes out of his way. When the woodchuck was in his grasp, he reached out for him as Louis pushed on his inner leg. He dropped on his knees.

  “Quick, the box!” Louis shouted.

  The woodchuck, with very little assistance, helped Louis get a box on top of Worker B’s head.

  “Take this box off my head!” Worker B yelled as he tried to lift the carton off his head.

  “Come on, Woodchuck, we have to go.”

  “Wait! There is one thing I have to do before we go, Louis!” the woodchuck said.

  As Worker B tried with extreme effort to extirpate himself out of his new headdress, the woodchuck put up his dukes into two little fists, reared back to gain momentum, charged at Worker B’s head-box and slammed his balled fists into it. Worker B’s swayed for a second and then fell over.

  “Now, I’m ready to go, Louis!” the woodchuck said, as he and Louis ran together out of the trailer.

  There was something very strange about Edna. It was not her appearance. Anyone is entitled to dress the way they wish and if anyone is in favor of this, it was Kelly wearing her bugs bunny t-shirt and pink pajamas to bed. More often than not, she sported her squirrel rock star shirt with a pair of jeans to the movies when she was off work. But Edna; she was different in her jeering words, her haughty strut throughout the animal facility. As Kelly came to the realization that her outer appearance may have nothing to do with her character, Kelly wouldn’t dwell on it as a reason not to allow Edna to adopt. Yet, how Molly would react to Edna and how Edna would react to Molly’s health situation, remained to be seen.

  “May I speak with you for a second in private, please?”

  “Look, Kelly, if you are…”

  “If you want to adopt Molly…,” Kelly said.

  “Molly?”

  “Yes, Molly; that’s the cat’s name. I think there is something you should know about her first, before anyone can adopt her. Those are my rules and whoever doesn’t like it, then, well, they don’t have to adopt her!”

  Edna smiled. “Okay, but can we make this fast, Kelly? I am behind and I don’t want to spend my entire day here at the shelter.”

  Molly caught a glimpse of Kelly and walked to the front of her cage. She drew a little inspiration from seeing her, then disappointment when Kelly disappeared out of sight. A moment later Molly, for the first time, saw the dog, which was smaller than she was, and shaped like the sausages she saw Elvin and Fannie eat during family cookouts and many times for dinner.

  “What are you staring at? You never saw anyone wake up before?” the dog in the cage next to her asked.

  “Yes, of course I’ve seen someone wake up before. You don’t have to be so rude about it. I just wanted to ask you something if it wasn’t going to be too much trouble,” Molly replied.

  “Well…” The dog’s voice was raspy, wavering in its decision. He walked to the side of his cage where he was almost nose to nose with Molly as if the cage didn’t separate them.

  “I don’t have a problem with that. If I can answer the question I will answer it. What do you want to ask me?”

  To Molly he sounded moody and not very friendly. “What happened to Russell, the dog that was in the cage in front of me?”

  The dog looked over at the empty cage then back at Molly. “I don’t know much about him. You say his name is Russell?”

  “Yeah. That’s what he told me and that’s what I heard some of the other call him, Russell,” Molly said.

  “All I know is, while you was asleep, snoring up a storm, the one you called Russell was having some kind of convulsions, trying to break out of his cage or something, when the medicine they tried to give him, well…. Well...”

  “Well what? What happen?” Molly asked.

  “They took him back to the gray door. If you don’t know what that is; it’s a place where us dogs and cats go when things are not quite right and we are not normal. You know what normal is, don’t you? It’s not how Russell acted, keep that in mind. Now, if you’re not going to eat that, I would really appreciate it.” He nodded in the direction of Molly’s food dish. “If you pass it over to me…. I don’t believe in wasting any food.”

  After Molly passed her food to the dog, she felt unhappiness begin to surface again. Her questions centered on whether she was in the right place. Although Kelly was very nice to her, she wondered if her Fannie would come and get her or not. Molly believed that she would be going to the gray door soon. She was afraid to befriend anyone else there, thinking that they, too, would be a victim of the gray door.

  “You don’t know what you’re missing. These wheat crackers are good,” the dog said.

  Edna walked to Molly’s cage, who, shelled in grief, was sitting down, her head lying on the cover floor of her cage. She raised her head when she saw the tall, busty woman wearing what she thought was an awful and hideous neck brace approach her cage. The more this strange woman got closer to her cage, the more she backed away.

  This cat would be perfect. It may be able to help me get that rat that was in my house. First, I would have to break it into what I want it to be. It may take some time, but I will get it done, Edna thought.

  “Kitty, Kitty? I’m Edna. I’m taking you home with me. How would you like that?” Edna said. Her lips looked scary to Molly as they scowled and quivered.

  Molly moved backwards where she found the most comfort in her corner.

  “That’s one ugly woman. Good luck on your new home arrangements,” the sausage dog said.

  “I do not want to go home with you. Fannie, Fannie, where are you?”

  Then it dawned on Molly that Elvin and Fannie weren’t coming back. They put her there because they wanted to get rid of her. The th
ought saddened Molly. She turned from Edna and Kelly, and then, with her left paw, she wiped her eyes.

  “She is a little shy, but I think once you show her that you love her, and once she gets use to you, I think she will come around,” Kelly said.

  “I’m good with animals. If I ain’t good at nothing else, Kelly, I sure am good at making animals come around.”

  Kelly only response was a half grin. “Molly, this here is Edna, she has a great home for you. She is going to adopt you today.”

  Edna turned toward the front of her cage. Molly couldn’t get over the hurt of Fannie and Elvin dropping her off at the shelter. She had found some comfort in Kelly as a sort of confidante, before she too made her feel unwanted by allowing her to go with Edna, who looked downright scary. She began to pounce about her cage as she glared into Edna’s huge brown eyes.

  No one that I want wants me. I must be a bad cat, ugly perhaps, or they hate my white fur, because it so thick, and my blue eyes. I, I am not liked and just maybe, I need to go to the gray door and maybe things would be a lot better for me. I won’t have to worry about being thrown away by the people I think should care about me, Molly thought. Then as if she didn’t have any other choice, she walked slowly to the front of her cage and waited for it to be opened.

  “It’s going to be okay, Molly. Edna has a great home for you and she is going to take very good care of you. You are going to be perfectly fine,” Kelly said.

  Yeah, sure, tell me anything, so you can get me out of here and this strange woman can take me away.

  “I will admit, Molly, I may be a little hard at first to get used to, but once you gotten used to me, then things will be a lot better for you,” Edna said.

  As bad as she wanted to tell Edna that Molly was special to her and that she was the only one in their facility that was un-adoptable, Kelly couldn’t. Same as she couldn’t tell any of the other pets that came before Molly that they couldn’t be adopted. Those were the ones with whom she talked as she had done with Molly. They were people, or better yet, they were her very close friends. Those pets who were sick and on the road to dying, and their destination was the gray door; those that she held in her arms while the doctor injected them with the medication that would alleviate their pain and their suffering forever; those that trusted Kelly with their lives when they glared up at her with wide eyes, then a few seconds more their gazes would turn into discontented eyes that slowly closed to this realm of life forever.

  “You have to make sure you hold the cage perfectly still, Edna. With some of the pets, a little rattled or the wrong way of holding your hands during the transition from the cage to their kennel, could scare the cats, and that’s something you don’t want to do, if you can help it.”

  “I’m glad you made me aware of that, Kelly,” Edna said scornfully.

  Kelly gave her the kennel for Molly along with a bag of her medicine.

  “Okay, Molly, are you ready to say goodbye and go to your new home?”

  Molly looked around then back at Kelly and Edna. If I would say no and you heard me say no, would it really make a difference? Molly thought.

  “The quicker we get this over and done with, Kelly, the faster she won’t have to see this place.”

  “Yes, yes, you’re right, Edna. Okay, Molly, I am opening your cage…”

  Molly stepped back, away from the cage; Kelly unlocked it and lifted the latch. Soon the cage door was open, open to a world in which she came from. A world where she was free, free to walk, free to run, free to swim free to be the Molly that she once was before entering the facility. The facility that held the gray door, the facility that isolated all pets was now opened to the one pet, Molly, the pure white fur cat with the beautiful blue eyes.

  “Make sure you hold the cage steady,” Kelly repeated, attempting to show Edna how it was done properly.

  “Okay, Molly, come out,” Molly heard Kelly say. Although her tone was friendly and comforting, Molly couldn’t and wouldn’t allow that to be the hinge that brought her out of one cage and into another. It would have to end. And it would end right where the two cages were close together. There was a gap – a space between the cages’ openings. Kelly reached out her long, slender hands to grab Molly. Molly figured that if she didn’t do what she planned on doing, it would never get done and she would be right back in a cage and even worse, chained, same as some of the dogs she saw in passing as she sat some time ago in the front seat of a luxury car.

  Molly sprung from her cage and through Kelly’s hands.

  “Get that cat!” Edna yelled.

  Kelly, who looked in horror at the entire ordeal, was speechless. In her few years working at the animal facility, this had never happened. Molly ran toward the door leading to the pet center just as it was about to close, and got through the opening. The front door that led to the outside world was shut and there wasn’t anyone going out or entering the lobby.

  Molly hid behind the desk. Only seconds went by before the staff heard of Molly’s escape. Not that she was an inmate, but because she was a resident of the animal shelter, and soon to be adopted by Edna, and she wasn’t a wild animal, it was necessary that Molly be caught before she got outside in the wild.

  “She could not have gone too far. The only place left to go is outside and this door hasn’t been opened,” Kelly said, speaking to two of her co-workers and Edna. This was the second time that Edna had been the victim of something escaping from her vigilant so-called care. Inside her busty body and beyond her mean heart was a prideful soul that wasn’t going to allow that ‘animal’ to get away.

  If I have to tear this place up myself, I will. I will not leave here without that wretched cat, Edna thought.

  She walked around, guarding her neck closely, making sure she didn’t make the wrong turn, encouraging pain that, so far, seemed to have abated.

  Molly heard the members of this search team and panicked.

  They’re going to find me. I know it, she thought. She looked in front of her. The desk was closed on the one side and opened on the other. There was also a place underneath the desk with a small door where the administrator stored files, signed-in sheets, and other company-related material.

  Molly was faced with two choices; either she would hide in the file drawer of the desk, where there was a door and hope that the search crew overlooked it, and when the coast was clear would run to the front door. Hopefully a few customers would be entering or exiting the building at the same time. Or she could chance it and wait near part of the front desk where she could keep an eye on the door, and the first customer that came in, she could dash to the door and be out of there.

  Both choices to some animals would not have been any better than getting caught, but for Molly the two choices were a lot better than none at all.

  “I would say that I’m tired, Louis, but that word just doesn’t do my body justice, if you know what I mean. How far away are we from that man I gave the two-piece jabby-jabby to?” the woodchuck asked.

  “We are in the field where we were when we began scoping out our plan.”

  “No, robbery, Louis. Call it what it is. Robbery; we were stealing, we stole produce from the store, okay?”

  “Thanks for reminding me, and don’t act like it’s so wrong. As I recall, you were the one to yell out, “hold on, Louis, let me get more bags!” Remember that?” Louis asked.

  “Of course, I remember all I was saying. It’s honesty, Louis. As they say honesty is the first step in admitting you have a problem.”

  “Okay, will let me start off by being honest then, Woodchuck.”

  “Okay, go right ahead, Louis. I am all for honesty!”

  “I thought woodchucks were clean…”

  “And who is saying that we are not, Mr. Louis?”

  “I am! You stink something awful, Woodchuck,” Louis said, chuckling to himself.

  “Well, excuse you, Louis, that’s me that ate all the grape cream pies Foxy gave me, so my
stomach is a little messed up. I’m not holding anything in on account of you, Louis. Whoa, that felt much better,” the woodchuck said, farting to high heaven.

  The place where Louis and the woodchuck ate their food was much farther beyond where they first scoped out the shopping center. They had brought back some bread, potato chips, several packs of salami and, of course, grapes.

  “We have a lot of food here, Louis. This is simply great. We have so much food it should be a crime!”

  Louis turned to the woodchuck with eyes that had the woodchuck’s full attention. “I mean there is a lot of food here that’s when the humans say, “dang my mess,” Louis,” the woodchuck said.

  “Where are we going to put this food? There is a lot here and it can’t stay out here too long. There will be predators everywhere after this food.”

  “You have asked the right person, Louis, my friend. I am going to dig large burrows right here. I’m glad you picked a nice, soft ground where I won’t have that much trouble digging. Or maybe instead of giving the credit to you, Louis, I will give it to all that rain water we had here the last couple of days. Anyway, I am going to dig burrows – pretty large ones – five feet deep and about thirty feet long where we can store our food,” the woodchuck explained. “I will start digging right here, behind the shopping center. You will give me the food and I will put it in under the ground in the burrows I create. How does that sound, Louis?”

  “I think it sounds good. How are you going to protect the food from say a squirrel, or a fox though?” Louis asked.

  “That’s a good question. I’m glad you ask, Louis. That shows the evidence of a potentially great student.”

  Louis shook his head as to say ‘would you just answer the question, woodchuck?’

  “When I was figuring this all up, it was sort of a dilemma for me at first until I found this, Louis.”

  “What is that, Woodchuck?” Louis asked.

  The woodchuck plucked what appeared to be fresh green grass out of the ground.

  “Looks can be deceiving, Louis. It looks just like regular grass but this is called witch’s grass and within this grass are witch’s berries. If any of our food thieves even think about making a move on our food, it will be all over for them.”

  Louis didn’t understand the method behind what looks to be the woodchuck’s madness. “I know you chew through a chain to free me, but the chain was close to breaking anyway because of how rusty it was. And I also give you credit for dancing, but you almost got yourself caught, if it wasn’t for me. And you did a superior job in sorting through things to get to your grapes, but that was because I was watching over you. But this witch’s grass and witch’s berries, I’m not sure if I can help you with this one, Woodchuck.”

  “And who is asking you to, Louis? Certainly not me. So, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I am going to place this witch’s grass and berries in the chambers where our food will be. It’s going to work as a sealer, Louis, so when they get to the chamber, just in case I’m not here, they will eat the berries first and it will set them ablaze. It will numb their mouths first then burn them. Creative, right, Louis?”

  Louis didn’t say anything right away, instead he inspected the berries. “Hum, they smell really good, they smell like fresh fruit!” Louis said.

  “But as we just went over, they are not fresh fruit, Louis. Looks like to me not only are you a slow learner, based on what I am hearing, but you are going to make the poisonous mistake of eating one of these berries, if I don’t get rid of them all,” the woodchuck said.

  “Let me know when you are going to start your digging, so I can help. But for now, I think I am going to take a much needed rest.”

  “Sounds like a winner to me. Since it seems like I’ll have to wait for an eternity to get a solid, cold grape, I think, before I pack them away underground, I will have one while I find out which part of this area would be best for me to start digging.”

  “Go ahead; knock yourself out, Woodchuck,” Louis said, finding himself a nice spot on the part of the ground that wasn’t soaked with rain water.

  “Louis, these grapes are really good. You should try one of them?”

  “Naw, I will pass right now. Maybe later,” Louis replied his eyes closed.

  “These red grapes are really good. Since when have they mixed green and red grapes together?”

  Louis lifted his head.

  “Oh no, Louis, I ate the witch’s berries. I need water, water! I say, I need water!” the woodchuck hollered before jumping in the muddy rain water.