Dirty Flirting [Part Two]_A Forbidden Romance

by Ava Alise

  “What do you mean 'ask for it’?”

  “Sex is like life. It can be stale if you’re not truly living. I like things to stay exciting, intense.”

  “Intense? What…no, I don't want to know.”

  “It’s not anything hardcore, but I like being in control.”

  My brows furrow as I shake my head. This conversation just took a turn I wasn't expecting. My discomfort must speak volumes because Cam nudges me.

  “Payback’s a bitch, right? I guess this is what you get for talking to me about sex with your guy,” he says. “How are things going with work and all?”

  I roll my eyes. “I'll probably have a better answer for you tomorrow,” I say.

  He nods. “Have you decided what you're going to do with him? Drexel, I mean.”

  I sigh, staring at the crossing traffic as we wait at the stop light. I've been thinking about this question a lot. But logic and fear play tug of war in my brain every time I try to decide.

  “I really like him, Cam,” I breathe.

  “I know,” he says.

  “And I know tomorrow, if I'm not fired immediately, there will be questions asked about the status of our relationship.”

  “Probably.”

  “I don't know if it will work out with Drex, and I'm terrified to dive into this thing with him. But the idea of walking away sounds miserable.” I hear myself say these things and I know they are true, but the more I speak the more confident I feel. I was a complete wreck yesterday, but one night with Drex and… I don't know, not even the worst thing imaginable, like my boss watching me feel up my co-worker through his pants, mattered. Hanging out in that bubble with him made me see what every day could be like if we can just make it over these hurdles. I know what my heart wants, and maybe it really is time to jump in blindly. “I think I'm going for it,” I say, looking at Cam. My chest begins to feel full as my adrenaline comes into play. “I'll tell Drex how I feel tonight, and that if he’s ready, we can tell our bosses we are together. I’ll sign whatever documents they need.”

  The overwhelming fear I expected to slam into my chest doesn't come and I'm surprised to feel relief in its place.

  “You sure?” he asks, glancing over at me. “You're not just forcing yourself to define it because of work, are you?”

  I don't respond right away. I know this decision will make the issue at work go away, but is it influencing my decision to commit to him?

  “No,” I finally say. “This has nothing to do with work. It's Drex and maybe it's time to try it his way.”

  “Ok. Good,” Cam says.

  We fall silent and I unlock my phone to call Drex to tell him to meet me later. Then I remember he said he had a doctor's appointment this afternoon and would call me afterwards. I tuck my phone back into my purse.

  I'll wait till he calls and see if he wants to meet then.

  This job situation is only the first of two huge issues we have been facing and I'm nowhere near ready to start thinking about how we're going to handle the next. But at least I feel ok with trying, and that's a lot for me.

  Cam and I continue the few blocks to the restaurant in silence. I'm stuck in this bubble of wonder, excitement, and nervousness when we pull up minutes later.

  “So this place will remind me of home, huh?”

  “Yes. Just wait til you see the menu,” I say.

  Right as we are about to enter, I see a familiar car pulling up to the steak house across the street. It's Drex's car. I pause at the door as I watch him exit the car with a woman. My heart completely stops, but once Tara's face comes into view, I feel a little better.

  Ok. Maybe he's meeting with her to talk about everything that went on Friday night. I shake it off, and just as I'm about to turn and head into the restaurant, Tara locks eyes with me. The look on her face is smug, as if she's happy that I'm seeing them together. It's weird, and enough to make me pause. Drex said they grew up together, so… even though I'd never want to have to deal with her on a regular basis, them being together isn't something that would be weird. But the way she's looking at me is saying otherwise. I break eye contact with her and follow Cam into the restaurant.

  It's packed in here and I'm distracted when the host finally seats us.

  I can't shake the thought that something isn't right. Cam gushes over the menu as he finds many of our hometown favorites. Everything from southern fried chicken to gravy biscuits and fat back displayed proudly for order. Cam looks like he's in heaven.

  “I can't believe you've been hiding this place from me for all these weeks,” he says.

  “I knew you'd love it,” I say half-heartedly.

  He goes back to ogling the menu and I get lost in my thoughts again.

  The only thing that's odd about Drex being with Tara right now is that he said he had a doctor's appointment that was running late. It wasn’t too long ago that he texted me about it. Why would Tara go with him to his doctor's appointment?

  “Oh shit, Bean, they serve slaw dogs.”

  “Yep,” I say, not looking up from my menu.

  It's possible that it was her doctor's appointment he went to, but why would he make it seem like it was his? Why would he hide that he was going with her?

  My heart drops into my stomach as I play back the events of Friday night. How he was expecting someone else when he answered the door, how he tripped over his words when explaining to me how they knew each other, how she said she only came back to give him a paper. My head starts to swim and suddenly I'm sweating.

  There's no way!

  It's not… he's not… they didn't.

  “Are you all right, Kels?”

  My eyes are wide when I look up at Cam. My mouth falls open, but my words don't come. I swallow hard, but before I can speak, my phone chimes on the table.

  DREX: Gorgeous, I need to talk to you.

  Drex

  I stare at my phone as I wait for a response to materialize from Kelsa.

  This is it.

  I'm just going to tell her.

  The sooner the better, I guess. I've been resting on the fact that we could unload the stacks one by one, but that's impossible now. We can't define our relationship status at work without recognizing why she's hesitant to commit. We can't deal with her hesitation to commit without unearthing her past with Liam. I can't tell her about the baby after I find out if it’s mine because that will be months from now. And we can't deal with the fact that I might be about to have a baby without dealing with the fact that Tara is the mother. It's a big circle of fucked up.

  My fingers grip my phone tightly. I close my eyes and take a head clearing breath. I hear everything. Darla clinking glasses, laughter a few tables away, the hum of the TV by the bar.

  “Hey man,” Kevin says, appearing at my side. “You think she's going to be all right?”

  My eyes fall back to the direction Tara went before I look back at him. “I hope so,” I say.

  Kevin and I are walking back to the bar when my cell phone chimes with a response from Kelsa.

  KELSA: When?

  ME: I can meet you in 10 minutes. Are you home?

  KELSA: No I'm with Cam, I'll have him bring me to your apartment after we eat.

  ME: Ok. See you there.

  I slide into my seat and order a cup of water. Tara emerges from the hall moments later. Her makeup is smudged and her eyes are bloodshot. That Aaron guy is a dick. It's insane for him to be angry about what happened between me and Tara after this long. Disappointed, maybe. But to storm off, especially considering the baby in the scenario, is a bit odd. Tara walks directly to her table, passing me and Kevin.

  “Something is up with her,” Kevin says, eyeing Tara.

  “Yeah, she's pregnant and her ex-boyfriend is an asshole.” I shrug.

  “True.” He laughs. “Something just isn't adding up. If I ever felt like a guy took advantage of my girl, I'd have a few words with him… at the very least. But that guy yelled at her and walked out without looking your way
once.” He brings his glass to his lips and pauses before drinking. “It just seems off, if you ask me.”

  I turn in my seat to watch Tara as she smirks at the waitress, paying for her bill. Could she be hiding something? But why? It wouldn't make any sense. Kevin has a point, though. Aaron never gave me so much as a glance.

  “So you think she's lying about something?”

  “I don't know, man,” Kevin says. “Keep your eye on it though.”

  I nod and glance back over to Tara as she walks in our direction carrying a takeout tray.

  “Can you take me home?” she asks. I look over at Kevin.

  “It's cool, I told Stephanie I wouldn't be out long,” he says, downing the last of his drink. A few minutes later, we all leave the restaurant.

  I can't shake my curiosity about Tara and Aaron's conversation, so I bring it up during the short ride to her building.

  “What exactly did you say to Aaron?”

  Tara has been quietly staring out the window, but the sound of my voice knocks her out of her trance.

  “What do you mean?” She clears her throat.

  “It's a pretty straightforward question, Tara,” I say as I slow to a stop at a red light a block from her house.

  “He called me a heartless slut and told me not to call him again until I knew it was his for sure.”

  “And he thinks I took advantage of you? He really said that?”

  “Yes,” she says. “Why? You don't believe me?”

  “I didn't say that.” My voice comes out more stern than I had intended.

  The car goes silent for a beat and thoughts roll through my head as I weave in and out of the traffic on her street.

  “Then why are you asking me again?”

  I blow out a large breath as I pull up in front of her building. “I'm sorry, ok? I'm still trying to get my head wrapped around this shit.”

  She nods quietly, but doesn’t make any effort to leave the car.

  Tara has no reason to manipulate me, right? Maybe all this is just me hoping for a way out.

  “You mind walking me inside?” The puffiness is still present in her eyes from earlier and I kind of feel bad for just dropping her off.

  “Sure. But I'll have to get going pretty soon.” She nods and I kill the engine. Her apartment is on the bottom floor of a large brownstone on the Lower East Side. She has her own outside entrance and the small gate creeks loudly as she pushes it open, clearing a path to the five steps that leads down to her doorway.

  “I hate that Aaron reacted that way,” she says, as she unlocks the door. “It really hurt.”

  “He seems like a dick, but maybe he's just a little stunned.”

  “Yeah.” She sighs.

  It’s been a while since I was inside her house, but she has kept it decorated the same way for years. The living room set her father bought her before he died sits proudly in the middle of the space. Her curtains, artwork, and other decor looks exactly like it does at her mother's house. The only difference is the slew of framed portraits she has added to her mantle and the large one of William and Mr. Benton that's sitting on a table by the door.

  “Wow. This is new,” I say, walking over to the mantle.

  “Yeah.” She sighs. “The pictures make me feel better. I hate being alone in here sometimes.”

  “Well, in few more months, that will be the least of your problems.” The thumping sound of her kicking out of her boots echoes in the small living room. My hands slide over the multitude of portraits she has on the mantle. Our entire life together, our mothers as maids of honor in each other's weddings, them pregnant together. Photos of us all as babies. A large one of my brother, Drew, in his military uniform. Christmas portraits, birthdays, school dances, everything is here.

  “Where'd you get all these?”

  “From my mother's house.”

  I'm staring at the portrait of my brother and Liam and at my college championship football game. They both wear large smiles with gold and blue painted stripes across their cheeks.

  Damn. That one hurts. Everything about this place is almost sad, as if the whole house is mourning.

  “You should come over more often,” she says, her voice sounding closer. I don’t mean to be rude, but the photo of Liam and Drew got me a little and it's taking me a minute to swallow back the deep sense of loss that's rattling in my chest. “Maybe things would be different between us. Less… tense.”

  Finally getting my shit together, I notice the tone of her voice changing. It's less abrasive, softer, almost like… I snap around to face her. She's standing so close I can almost feel the warmth radiating from her body. Her blouse is totally unbuttoned and she’s grinning as she slides it off of her shoulders revealing the fact that she isn’t wearing a bra.

  “Whoa. What are you doing?” I exclaim.

  “Drex,” she says in the same soft tone she was using earlier. “We may be parents. Mom and Dad to a beautiful little baby. Doesn't it make sense for us to try to be together?”

  My gaze is plastered to the ceiling. “Put your damn clothes on, Tara!” I order.

  “Come on. We had fun that night, right?” Her fingers roam my chest and I snatch them away, gripping her tiny wrist in one of my hands.

  “No. We didn't. We were drunk, we were stupid. What the fuck?” I say, meeting her eyes.

  She gives me a cold stare then slowly grabs her blouse, covering herself.

  “You can't be serious right now,” she says. She almost looks hurt, and if it was anyone else I'd feel bad, but this is Tara. Tara is calculated, Tara is sneaky, the last thing she is… is in love with me. “You just can't see past her, huh?” she huffs.

  “Look, I don't know what you're up to, but I don't have time for this shit,” I say, running a hand down my face. “I've got somewhere to be.”

  “Oh. Somewhere, huh? Why don't you just say you're meeting Kelsa?” she purses her lips.

  “Ok. I'm meeting Kelsa,” I deadpan.

  Here we go with this shit.

  “So I ask you for comfort and literally throw myself at you and you're still leaving me to be with her? Really?” She mock laughs.

  “Why does every conversation we have always end up about Kelsa? We could be having a kid together. There's a bunch of other shit we should be talking about,” I say. “But you're like fucking obsessed with my—my—”

  “Your what? Your girlfriend? Don't you see how fucking ridiculous that sounds? She is a slimy little selfish liar that—”

  “And I'm in love with her! Ok? I am ridiculously in love with her. So, I don't want to hear another word from you about her. You're done! You need to wrap your head around the fact that she isn't going anywhere.”

  Tara stares at me wordlessly.

  “So you just don't give a fuck about Liam?” she says, with a hurtful expression.

  “This has nothing to do with Liam.” I groan, holding her gaze as she stares daggers at me. I don't care. I really don't. I'm too pissed right now to deal with Tara's delusional grudge. This is the first time I've admitted to myself how I feel for Kelsa and I hate that it was Tara I told first. Especially after the shit she's been pulling. She continues to stare at me wordlessly.

  “You know what. You're right, I am done! You will see for yourself just how truly heartless she is. And when you do, just remember I tried to warn you,” she says before she snatches open her front door gesturing me to leave. “She's poison and you fell right into her trap,” she spits. Gritting my teeth, I stalk directly to the open doorway and don't say a word after she slams it behind me.

  Uneasiness is still rolling through my muscles when I walk toward my apartment door twenty minutes later.

  Tara has lost her fucking mind. Did that shit just happen?

  Deciding to chalk it up as pregnancy hormones, I push into my apartment and close the door. Kelsa could be here any minute and I need to get my shit together. I pace my living room a few times before I force myself to sit. This has to be done now. She needs to k
now about the kid before shit gets any weirder. Plus, if it isn't done now, I'll only convince myself that later is better.

  I’m frustrated.

  Angry.

  I've been acting like a pussy since I found out about the baby. As much as I tried not to label my feelings for Kelsa, I knew exactly when things started to change. It was about a month after Miami, when we started up again. The sex, though just as incredible, started to feel secondary… like a bonus. That's a big fucking problem when the relationship is only supposed to be sexual. But I noticed and tried to ignore it, saying when the time came for us to end it, I'd man up and walk away. Weeks went by and I tried desperately not to fall for her, ignoring the need I had to kiss her regardless of who was around, ignoring how it felt every time I'd have to leave her. Ignoring the fact that she was not only turning into my best friend, but into my everything. I tried hard not to fall for her… and I failed.

  This girl is bringing out a side of me that I've never seen before and I know why the stacks terrify me. It's because I'm not ready for one to topple us. I'm not ready to have to let her go. I've only ever been in love once before her, and that's if you can even count my high school girlfriend. Everything about what I feel for Kelsa is one hundred percent different and a lot more intense.

  I've been staring at a blank TV screen for the last ten minutes. Unable to sit still any longer, I get up and do something my mother will be very proud of… I clean.

  I scrub the counters, wipe down the sink, and even mop the floor. I'm on my knees rearranging the cabinet when a knock finally comes at the door.

  “Fuck. Here goes,” I say as I pull myself to my feet and walk to the living room to answer the door.

  Kelsa is wearing a white blouse and a tight blue skirt. Her hair is hanging long over her shoulders. It's the same look she wore at work today and she's just as beautiful now after running around all day.

  “Hey, Baby.”

  “Hi,” she says. Her tone is soft. I smile as I move backward letting her inside. She steps in and pulls out of her coat. Every ounce of courage I've been working up begins to seep out of me. I want to kiss her… kiss her and keep kissing her and ignore the stacks.