Forgetting Tabitha: An Orphan Train Rider

by Julie Dewey

  “I thought cholera got you!” I said to Scotty.

  “Not a chance, but the Sisters did!” He chuckled, just like he used to back when we lived under the stoop in New York City.

  “You have grown, your hair, it’s so curly now.” I said studying him. He was now twelve and had broad shoulders and appeared taller than other boys his age.

  “Look at you, Tabit….” He let my real name trail before catching himself. “I mean Mary, is it? You’re still a shrimp. What happened anyway? I couldn’t find you, I looked everywhere, I even went to the Canter’s but they said you’d gone on the train. So I went to see the Sisters and ask, but they said you weren’t on it. The police were already after me for stealing and a few other things….so the Sisters gave me a choice, either I get on the train or I would be taken to a juvenile house of reform. I chose the train. ”

  I explained to Scotty, or Matthew, as he was now called, that I spent time at the Home for Girls, but then ran away and went back to the stoop where I had slept alone the night after my mama died. I told him how I went door to door in search of work but couldn’t find any. I worried about him and the others dying from typhoid, or life on the streets, and he said he would’ve been more worried about me if he knew I was there alone. He said things had gotten pretty rough around the city and what happened to Karen was just the beginning. He said I was lucky I was left alone and not killed. The gangs were more pronounced and territorial, there was more theft and it was becoming scary even for him. When Scotty spoke about New York City his right eyebrow spasmed and he clenched his fists.

  “A tough guy like you, scared?” I teased.

  “Yeah, it was scary, even for a tough guy like me!” He grabbed my head into a cradle, dislodging my headband.

  “So where do you live?” I asked hoping we lived close to each other so we could walk to and from school together.

  “I live out past the mill at the Wright Farm, he kicked at the ground when he said ‘farm’. I knew what it meant. He had been adopted to help work a farm, not for love.

  “Well at least you get to come to school. That’s lucky.” I encouraged while shading my eyes from the mid day’s sun.

  “The Wright’s are good people; they prefer me to be educated so I can help keep the books one day. But you know me; I don’t have the patience for arithmetic. I am however good with my hands.” He wiggled his eyebrows up and down at me as he held up his hands and put them into fists before pushing up his shirtsleeves and flexing his well-toned muscles.

  “Right now I fix fences, do the whitewashing, and help feed the animals, that kind of thing,” he said.

  He pulled butterscotch out from his pocket and handed it to me then, I opened it and popped it right into my mouth. It had been a long while since I had butterscotch and the memory of my mama brought tears to my eyes.

  “What’s wrong? Don’t you like it?” he asked with a look of concern.

  “It’s not that. Remember how I told you my mama had her teeth pulled? Well, I bought her butterscotch to suck on that’s all. It just made me think of her.” I pushed the thought far from my mind and looked up at my friend.

  Scotty hugged me tight against his chest. “Everything will be all right now.” He said in my ear.

  I believed him.

  When school got out that day I grabbed Scotty’s hand and ran him over to my new mom, Edna, who was waiting for me with Eddie at the corner.

  “Oh Edna, you’ll never guess!” I ran to envelop her with a hug.

  Edna could see my joy and clapped her hands together. “Have you found a friend already?” she asked lightheartedly.

  “It’s even better Edna, this is my old friend Scotty, from New York, and he was my best friend!” Scotty blushed at the endearment but I didn’t think anything of it, it was true, Scotty was the truest friend I ever had.

  “Well that is splendid my dears! Scotty can you join us at the house for some milk and cookies and you can tell me how you two are acquainted?”

  “I sure would like to ma’am, but I have to get back to the Wright Farm and do my chores. But thank you for the offer.” He was very polite, making me feel curiously proud.

  With that he gave me a soft nudge in the upper arm and said, “See you tomorrow, Red!” I guess that was his new nickname for me and I liked it, it was fitting.

  Scotty headed off in the opposite direction from town and Edna and I swung Eddie between our arms on the way home. It was a splendid day indeed and not just because of my shiny new shoes.

  “So, my dear, how was school?” Edna was filled with anticipation and pulled a chair right up next to me so we could have a good chat. Eddie played with the frosting on his cookie and listened intently as well.

  “It was just the best day ever, Edna! The teacher, Miss Kate, she is smart and kind, and keeps the kids in line if I do say so myself.” I thought of the classroom rules posted on the black board.

  Edna gave a chuckle under her breath when I said this but I knew after spending time with Agnes on the train just how hard this was.

  “She advanced me to the fourth grade primer and said I would catch up to the others in no time. Why she even said I could help with the smaller children from time to time if I wanted, it seems they like me, I guess.” I hunched my shoulders and nodded to Eddie who gave me a big frosting grin that I kissed right off his little gooey lips!

  “I have some homework though, best be getting to that I suppose. I have to read and write all the words I can think of that rhyme with ball and bat, and I have to do it in my very best handwriting. I even get to learn cursive!” I finished my cookies and milk and swept my crumbs onto my plate before bringing it to the sink.

  “Why don’t you go into the library dear, and close the door so you can work in peace.” She cleaned the dishes and walked Eddie home to be with his mother, Sarah.

  School progressed well and before the year’s end I had advanced to the fifth grade primer. Scotty had a difficult time juggling his studies with farm work; he grew frustrated and stomped out the weeds at recess explaining to me that he didn’t have time to do any homework once school let out on account of his farm work. But not doing his homework got him put into a corner at school and was purely humiliating. He wanted to learn his letters but it came harder for him than others, he got his letters all jumbled up and confused and found reading very difficult. At the farm he worked so hard he was dog-tired in class and keeping his eyes open was difficult. The true realization was that he had to work in order to receive room and board.

  “Let me help you, Scotty, since you have always helped me. I used to live on a farm; I could do the milking while you fix the fence posts, then with what time we saved I can teach you letters. It could work; we at least have to try.”

  Scotty shook out his curls which had now grown past his ears. “What do you mean you lived on a farm, all I ever knew was that you lived in tenement housing, Red.”

  “Well, you don’t know everything then do you?” I grinned at him and we made a deal that I would help him two days a week as long as Edna and Pap agreed it was okay.

  That night I sat down with Edna and Pap and described Scotty’s situation. I asked if I might be able to help somehow. I was sure to say how Christian it would be. They expressed their concerns to me that maybe I shouldn’t spend so much time worrying about Scotty but when they saw the tears well in the corners of my eyes they said they would give it some thought. They wanted to come to terms with how important Scotty was to me but they were also trying to put my old life behind me. They told me this very delicately as they expressed concern over my past. Some nights I woke crying and it was always Edna who rushed to my bedside reassuring me when my dreams were wrought with images of a dying mother, blood, teeth, or anything else my mind conjured.

  I wondered if I should tell them my real name and my real story but worried they would no longer want me. The Sisters of Charity brainwashed us that we were to forget our sorry pasts and move forward as God so graciously wanted
and provided for us. I froze that part of myself in time, numbed my feelings and looked forward.

  Edna promised that nothing from my past could change the love they already felt for me and that it would endear them to me even more. But they also told me it was up to me what I wanted to share and that they understood that some stories were too painful to be reenacted. They didn’t tell me then but later I realized they must have been frightened for the life Scotty had lived before now as well. Come to think of it, I didn’t know the life Scotty had lived before the stoop in The Five Points either.

  Edna and Pap agreed I could help Scotty for one afternoon a week and he could come to our house for a few hours on Sunday after church. I was delighted by this agreement and couldn’t wait to see and smell the farm where Scotty lived.

  When he showed me his bunk after school I was humbled. Scotty lived in the hayloft directly above the horses along with two older lads who did not attend school. At the moment they were in the field, which is why he could sneak me in. The room was clean enough but it was also barren of color and life. The animal stench was bearable, fresh hay stood in the corner by his pallet, which helped mask the smell of the manure; luckily he said it wasn’t his job to muck the stalls. He had a brown woolen blanket neatly folded at the foot of his cot and on that was the Bible he received from the Sisters nearly a year ago. A rug sat aside his bed for his boots and he had a nail in the wood for his trousers and night clothes but aside from a small washbasin the boys shared that was all. He never complained either and felt lucky to have a place to hang his hat.

  “Excepting that you don’t have a hat,” I said.

  “Well, it’s good enough for me, now let me show you the grounds and the fences that need tending,” he said without complaint.

  “Okay, but first can I see the horses?” I missed Oliver at that moment.

  “I had a horse named Oliver once, he was a beauty!” I remembered feeding him apples and carrots and the way my da would heft me up onto her back and lead us in a slow jaunt around the fields.

  We climbed down from Scotty’s quarters towards the stalls where a chestnut pony caught my eye as he swished a midge with his tail. “This one here looks a little like Olly as a matter of fact.”

  “Gosh, I never took you for a cowgirl, Red.” Scotty wiggled a piece of straw between his teeth and did a goofy side step dance.

  “I was not a cowgirl but I loved the farm.” I ruminated on how peaceful the farm routine was and described the scene to my friend. My da was up before the rooster’s crow to milk the cows and muck out the stalls of Oliver and our two sows. He sprinkled grains in the chicken house but let me collect the eggs. I was real quiet and slow about collecting the eggs because Harriett, our hen, was fanatical about anyone in her house. She would squawk and nip and bite at me until I left. Mama schooled me in my letters and at night, Da would teach me my numbers. Our place was real nice and quiet, we were a happy family.”

  “That sure sounds nice,” Scotty encouraged me to go on with my story.

  “Then Da fell off the ladder in the hayloft one morning before chores and died instantly. Mama stayed in bed for two days straight. We had a few neighbors that came to check on our plight and offer help but we declined on account of pride. Luckily the women brought casseroles so we had something substantial to eat while Mama put her plan together. The first plan was that we would work the farm the way my da did. We tended the livestock and harvested crops that would be shipped via the Sound to New York City but when it came time to plow the fields for planting the work was too difficult and our neighbors were busy with their own fields. Mama made the decision to sell the animals and move us in closer to the city where she could work as a laundress. We didn’t have any family nearby so this was the best solution. “

  I saw that I still held Scotty’s interest so I continued.

  “The cows were getting on in age so we didn’t fetch more than a few dollars for them apiece, the sows we sold to the butcher and the hens to a neighbor. We hired a coach and brought our table, our mattresses, hand woven rugs, pots pans and clothes with us when we moved. If we needed anything else we would have to dip into our savings and buy it.”

  “What happened to Oliver?” Scotty asked

  “Shucks, I am not sure if I know. All I remember is feeding him apples one day and the next he was gone.” A tear trickled down my eye and Scotty reached over to wipe it.

  “Well then what happened to you and your mama? I guess I never thought to ask before.” Scotty had a look of concern that I hadn’t seen across his face before now.

  “Mama found us an apartment in the tenement building in Five Points. She didn’t want to live there but it’s all we could afford. Our place had its own window in the peak of the roof line that let us look out into the city. Initially, we shared one bedroom and had our own small kitchen area and enough room for our table and the matching chairs that my da made. We spread our most colorful rug under the table to catch any crumbs and keep the dirt less noticeable and we spread our lighter rug under our mattress so in the morning when our feet hit the floor they weren’t met with the cold.” I thought about how much mama and I missed my da then. But thankfully my mama was smart and strong and not afraid of hard work.

  Scotty never interrupted my story so I continued. “We went from store to store and introduced ourselves around town and down on the docks to anyone we saw, we told them we would do laundry and we would do it better and cheaper than anyone else in town. We had a few dollars saved in our hidden pouch and could rely on the kindness of folks at the Mission if we became desperate. But mama didn’t want to beg or be in anyone’s debt. We did laundry for strangers, we worked hard at it too because we were to be the best laundresses in town. That’s about all, you know the rest. My mama died from her teeth problems and then fate brought me to you.” We stared hard at each other for a moment each searching the other out.

  “Wow, I didn’t know your mama had such big balls! That takes a lot of guts to do what she done, moving with you to the city and working so hard without a man.” Scotty rudely grabbed himself before I punched him square in the arm.

  “Don’t need any man to get along. We got along fine though we missed our da.”

  “Oh yeah, Red? Don’t need no man, well how you gonna get along without the likes of these two, huh?” And with that he rolled up his sleeves and flexed his muscles at me and we both laughed and felt better.

  That’s what I liked best about Scotty. He knew how to lighten the mood and make me feel better and his muscles were pretty impressive.

  Scotty and I worked Mondays laying out fresh hay for the cows that stood around us ankles caked in mud browsing for tender shoots. When that chore was complete we spent time white washing the fading fence surrounding the pasture. Edna lent me a pair of Pap’s old grey trousers and I wore suspenders to keep them up. We worked well together, Scotty on one side of the fence and me on the other, painting and chanting our letters and rules such as “I before E, except after C”. After our allotted time, Scotty would walk me the two miles to town and Edna would meet me and exchange niceties with Scotty before we all went towards home. On Sundays Scotty worked directly with Edna on his school work and then he and I had a little time to enjoy playing before he had to get back to the farm for milking. We always included Eddie in our play and it was pure joy and simple fun. We would make bubble potion and see who could blow the most from one wand, or sometimes we would play kick the can or tag, and we always let Eddie win or he would sulk.

  One Sunday afternoon after Edna tutored Scotty she took notice how he strained to focus on the written words in front of him and asked if he would be willing to go for an eye exam with her. He agreed and low and behold he was near blind in one eye, which explained some of his reading difficulties. He was fitted for a pair of glasses and suddenly everything was clear and precise to him as it had never been before.

  “How can I repay you, Miss Edna?” Scotty asked earnestly, offering up his allowance of
twenty five cents per week.

  “This is my gift to you; you are very special to Mary so I am happy to help you.” Edna took Scotty’s glasses and placed them carefully in the case. She reached out to hug him then and he selflessly thought how happy he was that Mary had someone so loving to look out for her now. Her story was sad, she never cried in the telling of it, although she choked up a few times when talking about her pony and the table her da made. She was a thick-skinned kid; he admired her and was glad to call her a friend. The kids in town were mostly spoiled so to have someone else who knew what it was like to live in rags among the dregs of society and steal for food was of some comfort.

  Chapter 6 Scotty in New York City

  Autumn in New York City was putrid. The cold rain pelting my skin, sinking into my bones was bad enough, but the streets were littered with shit and piss and the rain watered it down, making all the crap thin out and run in torrents through the streets. Rabid dogs ran wild and crapped anywhere they pleased, horses were tied to banisters where they stood in inches of sludge. Rats got tangled under your feet and the city smelled of a cesspool. At night we had to huddle close under our stoop on Mulberry Street or else the drunks would splatter us with their vomit. Bars got out late, brawls happened in the streets, there were shoot outs and people lay dead or passed out in ditches. The daytime was better; we each had morning jobs and then hid out in one old factory, brewery or another.

  I inhabited the stoop with Karen and Tommy.

  Gangs of Five Points were deadly and had taken to fighting for amusement. They would rally chickens and starve them in separate cages before setting them loose in a pit to peck each other to death. They did the same with rats and the half-starved dogs that wandered the streets, enticing them with scraps of food into a caged ring where they had to fight for their life. The animals were kicked, whipped, abused and neglected by members who soon grew bored and looked to have more authentic cage fights. Members soon offered themselves up in fights in order to make a profit.