Keeping Her

by Holly Hart

  It finally makes sense. After all these years of wondering what I did to have her toss me away, only to find out she was forced to do it. What kind of teenager could possibly handle a situation like that?

  “I’m so sorry I hurt you,” she says shakily. “You didn’t deserve it.”

  “Sara, if anyone should apologize, it’s me. I should have known better than to believe you’d just up and hurt me like that for no reason. I should have had more faith in you. More faith in us. But I was so fucking angry, I just took off and said to hell with you and stormed off to the Marines.”

  I hold her for a few more minutes until her tears finally subside and she wipes her face dry with a tissue.

  “Got an issue, here’s a tissue,” she says with a harsh chuckle. “I’m sorry.”

  “Stop it. That’s an order.”

  “Okay. Sorry.”

  “Don’t make me ship you off to Canada, soldier.”

  That sparks a real giggle this time, and it makes my heart soar.

  “I’m so glad I got that out in the open,” she says. “It’s been festering in my heart like a splinter ever since that night.”

  “You and I were victims of outrageous fortune, like Hamlet,” I say. “None of it was our fault.”

  She blinks at me. “Did you just reference Shakespeare?”

  “Hey, I wasn’t a total washout in school, you know,” I grin. “The Marines wouldn’t have accepted me if I was.”

  Her head sinks into my shoulder as she snuggles in closer. I wrap my arm around her, reminding me yet again of our nights in the storeroom.

  “My parents really fucked me up,” she sighs. “Everything they did still affects me to this day.”

  “What a pair we are,” I say. “Me with no parents, wishing I had them, and you with two parents, wishing you didn’t have either one.”

  She picks up her glass form the table and downs the last of her wine.

  “At least with my father, you knew what to expect: he’d either yell at you or beat you. But Mom was something else. She knew how to manipulate us and make us feel guilty. And she instilled so many fears in us.”

  I kiss her temple. “But you’ve gotten past those by now, haven’t you?”

  Sara sighs deeply. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But we haven’t. Especially the big one.”

  “Big one?”

  She turns to face me, her eyes locking onto mine.

  “You know how panicked I would get back then that Mom would find out we’d been together?”

  Do I ever. I was a thousand times more scared of her than I ever was of the cops.

  “I always used that as an excuse for us not to… you know. Go all the way.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “That was part of the problem,” she says. “But not all of it. And it’s still with me to this day. You saw it the other night in your bedroom.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t understand.”

  “Chance,” she says quietly. “Sex gives me panic attacks. And I’m still a virgin.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  32. SARA

  As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I feel an immense weight lift from my shoulders. Just admitting it to him makes me feel like we’re closer somehow because of it. Like he finally knows all my secrets.

  He stares into my eyes so long that it makes me uncomfortable.

  “Say something, please,” I whisper.

  “That bitch,” he hisses. “She couldn’t even let you enjoy sex. Did she have to ruin everything for you, for fuck’s sake?”

  My heart throbs as he says the words. So many dark thoughts were rushing through my mind when he didn’t say anything. Then suddenly he’s my old Chance again, my protector, the one who’s always on my side, no matter what.

  “It sure seemed like it for a long time,” I say.

  “So you’ve never…? With anyone?”

  “The other night with you was the closest I’ve ever gotten. I’ve fooled around with a few men, but I never let it get past a hand under my shirt. That’s why they all stopped calling after the fourth date.”

  His brow furrows. “Guys can be bastards,” he growls.

  Just the fact he said that makes me melt. None of the others ever took the time to understand me. It was always about them. Chance never, ever made it about him.

  “But I came so close with you,” I say, stroking his cheek. “It felt so good. So right.”

  “It felt that way to me, too.”

  I wet my lips and press them against his. The flutter in my heart reaches all the way down to my core and reignites the fire I felt in Chance’s bedroom. He envelops me in his arms as we kiss more deeply.

  I pull back suddenly and look in his eyes.

  “I’m sorry,” he says. “This isn’t the right time. I shouldn’t have – ”

  I lay a finger on his lips with one hand as I unbutton his shirt with the other.

  “It’s the right time,” I say. “It’s so right, I can barely stand it.”

  His eyes widen as I finish with his shirt and pull off my camisole, leaving just my sports bra. I lean in close and put my lips right next to his ear.

  “I want you to undress me,” I whisper.

  He takes orders well. His hands unbutton my fly and slide the zipper down, all while keeping his eyes locked on mine. I shimmy out of my jeans, until I’m in nothing but my underwear.

  “Hurry.” I sigh. “I want to be naked in front of you.”

  He pulls off his own shirt first, pitching it to the floor, before reaching up and squeezing my breasts through the thin black cotton. My nipples are already at attention, responding to the heat of his touch.

  A moment later and the bra joins my jeans and his shirt on the floor. He pulls me toward his bare torso and my breasts feel like they’re on fire when they touch his skin. I can feel hot dampness inside my panties as his lips close around me and his tongue finds my nipple. I gasp at the sensation of his teeth gliding up and down against the sensitive skin.

  In the back of my mind, I can hear the voices telling me it’s wrong. But I take strength from the touch of Chance’s skin, his steely muscles holding me tight, keeping me from harm.

  They’re not going to win this time.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  33. CHANCE

  “Are you all right?” I ask, looking up into her eyes from breast level.

  “I’m perfect,” she sighs as she scoops up a breast and guides it back into my mouth. “Now get back to work.”

  I’m nothing if not a good soldier, so I do as I’m told. As I minister to her needs, I kick off my boots and use my toes to awkwardly slide off my socks. I need to free myself from these jeans soon before I suffer the same painful fate from my dream about this moment.

  But Sara pins me in place by straddling me. If only she knew how much it hurt to be in this position with my rock-hard cock pressing outwards against my jeans. But she’s just learning. I have to be patient.

  “Oohh,” she moans as my fingers tweak her free nipple. I can feel that familiar damp heat between her legs against my crotch, just like the night in my bedroom.

  I stroke her naked back with my fingertips as our tongues meet and start to explore each other again. Slow and easy. There’s no hurry. We have all the time in the world.

  She pulls her mouth away from mine and puts it against my ear again.

  “Take your pants off,” she says. “I want to feel your hard cock again.”

  Or we could move faster. That works, too.

  She stands up and I yank my jeans and boxers down in one quick movement, kicking out of them with each foot. My soldier is standing at full attention, and it draws Sara’s attention right away.

  She turns around and bends over, giving me a birds-eye view of her heart-shaped ass. My hands move independent of my brain, grabbing the waistband of her panties and sliding them down, revealing her fully to me.

  Sara steps out of her underwear and pulls me up from
my seat, until we’re standing facing each other.

  “I don’t know what I’m doing, but I want to learn,” she says. “I need you to tell my what’s good and what’s not.”

  “It’s all good,” I moan as my shaft throbs and jerks at her touch.

  She takes her other hand and guides mine toward her mound. Her knees tremble as my fingers reach her slick outer lips, and she gasps.

  “Oh, my God,” she breathes.

  We stand there, using our hands on each other, for a long while. I make sure to stay away from the inner area so as not to hurt her, focusing instead on the sensitive nub of her clit. With each bit of pressure, she gasps again and pushes against me.

  My other hand gently takes the one around my cock and grips it tighter. She gets the message right away and starts stroking with a firmer grasp. I groan in appreciation and start moving my hips in time with her.

  Suddenly, she slides an arm around my neck and holds on tight. I feel her mound mash against my hand as her breath hitches in my ear.

  “Oh yes, oh yes, right there, oh yes.”

  Her body shudders for a several long seconds, but she never forgets the hand around my shaft. As her tremors subside, her lips at my ear say: “That was so good, Chance. It was like being full of butterflies.”

  “So is this,” I say, taking the hand around my cock again. “Don’t stop.”

  Now that she’s recovered from her orgasm, Sara looks me in the eye.

  “The voices are gone,” she says. “I can feel it. We don’t have to stop.”

  “That’s good,” I breathe as a shiver runs through me. “Because I don’t think I can.”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  34. SARA

  Chance seems to take what I said for what it was: an open invitation to do what he wants with me.

  He scoops me up in his arm and carries me into my bedroom. Thank God I cleaned up this morning, otherwise he’d be tripping over shoes and assorted electronics. He reaches the edge of my bed and lays me down on my back.

  I reach my arms up to him. “Don’t make me wait.”

  He props himself on top of me and kisses me slowly and luxuriously, prompting fresh heat between my legs. I can’t believe how horny I still am after such an amazing orgasm. It’s like there’s a never-ending supply of electrical energy down there.

  After some long, loving moments of kissing, Chance whispers: “We’ve been there and done this. Let’s try something new.”

  My stomach flutters at the thought of what will come next. He moves his mouth first to my neck, then down to my breasts, all the while positioning himself over top of me. Then he moves lower, kissing my belly with a dart of his tongue, then down to my navel.

  Oh God, the anticipation almost makes me pass out.

  My hands instinctively go to his hair as his shoulders drop under my thighs and lift them up off the bed. Finally his lips touch my outer entrance and a deep moan escapes me. Soon his tongue is working its way through my crevice, slowly but urgently, with a force that makes me squirm.

  Then it finds my clit and my fingers wrestle grip his hair and pull involuntarily.

  “OhyesohyesohyesOHYES,” I babble as the waves crash over me again, this time so powerful that my hips buck and slam against the force of his tongue. How can something so small be so strong?

  My hands leave his hair and find his hands. Our fingers twine together as I struggle to get my breathing under control. Chance takes a moment to look up at me from between my legs. The image of his face there, in my most secret of places, is so powerful it almost triggers another orgasm just on its own.

  I’ve waited for this moment for so long, I can’t believe it’s finally here. With Chance.

  I take his face in my hands and pull him upwards.

  “I want to do it to you now,” I pant. “I want to make you feel like you made me feel.”

  He gets to his knees and I plant myself on all fours, so that I’m looking directly at his long, hard shaft. It feels so good in my hand that I just want to hold onto it forever. But part of me is insatiably curious to find out how it feels somewhere else.

  I hold my breath for a moment, waiting for the familiar shouts in my mind. I’ve never been this close to anyone’s manhood before – if the voices are going to return, now will be the time.

  Nothing. There’s nothing to stop me anymore. I’m free.

  His eyes close and a groan escapes his lips as I take the tip into my mouth and slide my tongue around it. My hands take hold of his buttocks as I move further down, taking more into me.

  He takes my hand gently and moves it back to the base of his cock. He must like both sensations at the same time. I’m happy to oblige.

  “Good, Sara,” he moans. “That’s so good.”

  As my mouth works the top, my hand tugs the base, until Chance’s hips start to move in synch with the pleasure. I always wondered what it would be like to be so close to Chance, to know every inch of him like this. Now I know: it’s heaven.

  After an eternity of this bliss, Chance finally pulls back gently and takes himself out of my mouth. He kneels next to me and kisses me slowly and deeply.

  “I’ll be right back,” he whispers. “Don’t move.”

  I lie back on my pillow, stroking my belly with my fingernails and savoring the anticipation. A moment later, he’s back, ripping open a small square with his teeth. He pulls the condom free and moves it toward his cock.

  “Let me,” I say, taking his hand. “Please. I should learn.”

  He smiles. “Please do.”

  I grasp his shaft and position the condom at the tip, rolling it down the rest of him with my other hand. He’s long and thick, and the latex stretches over it like a second skin.

  “That’s perfect,” he moans.

  “I think I’m ready,” I say, opening my legs wide. “What should I do?”

  “Just keep doing what you’re doing,” he says as he kneels between my legs. “We’ll have to take it nice and easy.”

  I gasp as the tip slides against my outer opening and presses against my clit. The pressure and the pleasure combine, so that my whole world becomes a sensation.

  “Easy,” he breathes. “Easy.”

  “I’m ready,” I say, biting my bottom lip.

  Chance moves his hips and the sensation is suddenly sharp. I gasp and grip his shoulders tightly as he slides the shaft in. Finally, he fills me all the way.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I sigh. “I’m more than fine.”

  My hips tremble as he pulls out, then slides back in. Each stroke becomes easier, until we establish a rhythm, moving our hips in time with each other.

  This is what everyone is always talking about. No wonder every rock song ever is about it.

  “Sara,” he moans. “Oh, Sara. Finally.”

  “I’ve wanted you inside me for so long,” I say. “It’s so good. Sooo good.”

  Talking seems to have stoked our passion even more. Chance speeds up his strokes, going a bit deeper with each one. I respond with my own movements, driving my hips upwards to feel every last inch of him.

  Our breath mingles as the pleasure mounts. His face is next to mine, my arms are around his neck, pulling him to me so that we can be as together as two people can be. Finally the pleasure becomes unbearable and I have to let go of everything.

  “I can’t hold back anymore,” he pants. “I can’t – ”

  “Come, baby,” I whisper. “Finally. After all these years, come.”

  His entire body tenses like a steel spring beneath my fingers as I wrap my legs around him and ride the wave. Endless moments of ecstasy carry me higher and higher, my mind only aware of my body and his, until we can’t take anymore and we both collapse on the bed, exhausted.

  We lay there, limbs tangled, sweat drying against each other’s skin, our breath slowly going back to normal. The feeling of satisfaction and closeness is so intense, I fear that moving will somehow break the spell.

/>   Finally Chance leans into my ear and whispers: “How do you feel?”

  I smile. “Like I’ve been getting royally ripped off for a very, very long time.”

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  35. CHANCE

  This wasn’t supposed to feel like this. It was supposed to feel like a victory, like my plan was working. Like I was winning, somehow.

  But that’s not what this was.

  It wasn’t like anything I’ve ever felt. Sex with other women has always been just fun, something you did to finish a date, or because you felt the itch down there. You enjoy it and then you fall asleep.

  Now lying here, gazing into Sara’s deep blue eyes, sleep is the last thing I want.

  “So how do you feel?” she asks.

  I hesitate a moment. What should I say?

  How about the truth? my conscience tells me.

  “I feel like I ordered a Christmas gift fifteen years ago and it finally got delivered,” I say. “The best surprise of my life.”

  She grins. “I’m a Christmas present?”

  The image of her with a big red bow wrapped around her hips pops into my mind’s eye, and my cock twitches a bit.

  “That’s what it felt like,” I smile back.

  “Imagine what it was like for me. To have my first time be so… so mind-blowing. Incredible. Unbelievable. A dozen other adjectives I can’t think of right now. It’s like finally trying ice cream and thinking ‘oohh! Now I get what everyone’s talking about!’”

  I chuckle. “You’re a Christmas present and I’m ice cream. What flavor?”

  She leans in and nibbles my earlobe.

  “Tiger,” she purrs. “Definitely tiger.”

  Aaand I’m hard again. Luckily I always carry a second Trojan. We Marines have to be ready for action at all times.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  36. SARA

  My mind is reeling as we lie here, panting, all over again.

  How could it possibly have been better than the first time? No voices this time. No pain, only pleasure. Endless, limitless pleasure, for what seemed like forever. Is it like this for everyone?