Rancher's Twins: Mom Needed

by Barbara Hannay

  ‘You look great,’ Gray said, coming back into the room more quickly than she expected.

  Flustered, she fought off a blush and sat quickly, wishing she could think of a witty retort.

  ‘No, honestly, that new hairstyle suits you,’ he said, handing her a glass of the rich Australian red.

  A trip to the hairdresser had been part of Holly’s post-Brandon recovery plan, but she was amazed that Gray had noticed.

  ‘Thanks.’ She raised her glass. ‘Here’s to settling the twins happily in Australia. May it all go super-smoothly.’

  ‘Amen to that.’ Gray settled into an armchair and stretched his long legs in front of him, crossing them at the ankles.

  Holly tried not to stare, but Gray had a way of catching her eye. His jeans were soft and worn and faded, hugging his strong thighs. His elastic-sided boots were tan and clean and made of finely cut leather. Lamplight caught the dark sheen of his hair and accented the ruggedly masculine planes and angles of his face and the shadow on his jaw.

  There was no denying the man was bone-deep sexy. At Chelsea’s wedding, even Holly’s grandmother had been all girlish and coy in Gray’s presence.

  Perhaps she shouldn’t say anything about Australia after all. She didn’t want to spend the next couple of months stealing sneak peeks at Chelsea’s ex just because she was currently without a boyfriend. She was supposed to be getting on with her exciting new single life, making plans for her brilliant career.

  She drank some wine, buying time to compose herself, but her brain refused to let go of one particular thought and suddenly the words just tumbled out. ‘I’ve been thinking that you might need help with the children when you first arrive in Australia.’

  Gray nodded calmly. ‘I’ve been thinking the same thing. I wondered if I should phone ahead to an employment agency.’

  ‘An agency in Australia?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Holly felt a surge of emotion, almost panic. ‘I’m at a loose end.’

  Oh, cringe. How annoying that she could say something in her head all day and it sounded fine, but now, as soon as she said it out loud, it sounded utterly dumb.

  It didn’t help that Gray’s head snapped back as if he’d been punched in the jaw. He was staring at her as if she’d announced she was planning to fly into outer space. On a broomstick.

  ‘How do you mean—a loose end?’ he asked quietly.

  ‘I’m free—for a month or so.’

  ‘I thought you were starting work in a school.’

  Holly’s mouth was suddenly parched. She took a sip from her glass and to her dismay her hand was shaking. ‘The schools here are about to close for the summer.’ She wished her voice wasn’t shaking as well. She cleared her throat. ‘I wouldn’t be expected to start in a new job until August, or possibly September.’

  His eyes widened. ‘So you’re free through the rest of June and July?’

  ‘As long as I’m still in phone or Internet contact. For interviews.’ Seeing the surprise in Gray’s eyes, Holly’s nervousness accelerated. ‘It’s just a thought. A possible option.’

  ‘But it’s a fantastic option.’ His eyes were gleaming, and his face broke into a fully fledged smile. ‘You’d be perfect.’

  For God’s sake, stay cool.

  ‘Do you have a passport?’ Gray asked, clearly thinking more calmly than she was.

  Holly nodded. She’d studied Italian at school and her parents had scraped and saved to send her on a fabulous school excursion to Tuscany. Her passport was still valid.

  Gray’s smile was replaced by a quick frown. ‘Are you sure you wouldn’t mind giving up so much time?’

  ‘I’d be happy to come. I’m really interested in this School of the Air. I’d love to see how it works and, of course, I’d really like to help Anna and Josh to settle in.’

  Gray was frowning again and he launched to his feet, pacing the room as if something troubled him. ‘I promise you’d have nothing to worry about—’ He swallowed and looked awkward. ‘I mean—accompanying me and the kids—no one out there will jump to conclusions about us. I…I mean no one will assume we’re a couple.’

  Looking distinctly embarrassed, he gave a forced laugh, as if he was trying to make a joke but knew it wasn’t funny.

  To Holly’s dismay, she felt her face flame. ‘Well, that’s good,’ she hurried to assure him. ‘And you certainly don’t need to worry from my end. Romance is totally off my agenda. I’ve just broken up a long-term relationship, and it was harrowing to say the least, so it’ll be a very long time before I start looking for any kind of—’ She couldn’t quite finish the sentence.

  Gray nodded thoughtfully, his eyes sending a message of sympathy, and Holly felt a clear wave of relief to know that they had the ground rules sorted.

  Just the same, she couldn’t help also feeling the teensiest sting over Gray’s mega-eagerness to make it clear that he wasn’t romantically interested in her.

  How crazy was that? She dropped her gaze to her wine and reminded herself exactly why she’d made this offer. Gray needed help, Anna and Josh needed a nanny, and she needed to feel she’d done everything she could for Chelsea’s children.

  She was the perfect person to help Anna and Josh to adjust to their new life in Australia.

  ‘So that’s definite, then?’ Gray was serious again. Businesslike. ‘You’ll come?’

  Suddenly it felt inevitable. Predestined. As if this question was always going to be asked. And the answer was always going to be…

  ‘Yes.’

  CHAPTER FIVE

  GRAY was surprised by how over-the-top pleased and light-hearted he felt now that he knew Holly would be accompanying them on the return journey.

  Now, the challenge of becoming a single father no longer loomed as forbidding as Mount Everest and, over the following days as they finalised the packing, even Anna came to look on the move as a huge adventure.

  By the time the foursome reached JFK Airport, they were all keyed up and looking forward to the flight.

  It was while they were waiting to get through Security, with the line shuffling ever closer to the X-ray machines, that Holly received a call on her cellphone.

  Gray assumed it was yet another of her many friends ringing to wish her well and he watched with a ready smile as she answered the phone. He saw the sudden tension in her eyes.

  She turned away, her dark hair swinging with the movement. She pressed her fingers to one ear to block out the airport noise as she frowned and gave her caller her full attention.

  Gray realised he was watching her more closely than was polite, but he couldn’t help it. Holly might not have Chelsea’s beauty, but she had something else—something, he suspected, more lasting than prettiness. At times like now, when her face was animated and her dark eyes were sparkling with excitement, she looked utterly enchanting.

  Snatches of her conversation drifted his way.

  ‘Yes…yes…that’s wonderful…yes. Oh, wow, thank you.’ And then, ‘Australia…a family commitment…just away for the summer…’ She was nodding and smiling, looking flushed and pleased.

  The phone call ended just as it was their turn to go through Security, so it wasn’t till they’d reached the other side and had collected their watches, wallets, passports and backpacks that Holly turned to Gray with a wide and happy smile.

  ‘So it was good news after all?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes. At first I thought it might have been Brand—might have been someone ringing to say goodbye. But it’s even better than that. It looks like I’ve landed a job.’

  To Gray’s surprise, he felt a snaking of alarm. How would this affect their plans? Was Holly still free to help? ‘When do you start?’

  ‘Not till August.’ Holly’s smile widened into a beaming grin, then she gave a little skip and punched the air. ‘I can’t believe it. This is my dream job! My first choice. The school I’ve always wanted to teach at.’

  Gray nodded, willing himself to be pleased for Ho
lly. Judging by her excitement, this was very important. She must have been the pick of the applicants. Good for her!

  It hit him then that he knew very little about her. It seemed she was very smart—an ace teacher—and his kids were lucky to have her even for a short time.

  He was pleased for her. In fact, he was pleased for all of them. Everything was working out perfectly. By August his children would be settled into their new home and school and, with Holly’s help and approval, he’d have hired a new nanny. Then Holly would head for home to start this new flash job.

  It made absolutely no sense that he couldn’t dredge up more enthusiasm. It was sheer selfishness not to be happy for Holly.

  ‘Fantastic,’ he said and he held out his hand. ‘Congratulations.’

  At last, he cracked a smile.

  Landing in Sydney was a total surprise for Holly.

  Throughout the journey, she’d been mentally preparing herself for the Australian Outback. It was, she knew, a challenging place of wide red plains, isolation, dust and heat.

  She hadn’t given much thought to Sydney, hadn’t expected to fly in over gorgeous golden beaches to a big and modern city heart crowded with skyscrapers. She also hadn’t expected to find Gray’s mother waiting to greet them at Sydney Airport.

  Holly had vague memories of Sasha Carlisle from the wedding. She was tall and silver-haired, strikingly attractive and well dressed. Today she was wearing a white linen trouser suit, with sparkling jewellery at her wrist and a long black and white silk scarf draped with unfussy elegance. There was no doubt about it; she’d nailed casual chic for the older woman.

  Beside her, Holly, in jeans and a crumpled T-shirt, with her hair hanging limp after more than twenty hours in a pressurised cabin, felt decidedly drab. But she soon forgot about that as she watched the greeting between mother and son.

  No warm hugs. Just a cool—

  ‘Hello, dear.’

  ‘Hello, Mother.’

  And an expertly made-up cheek held at an angle for Gray to kiss.

  The tension was so thick Holly would have needed a very sharp knife to cut through it. It evaporated quickly, however, when Gray’s mother turned her attention to her grandchildren.

  ‘Sweethearts,’ she cried, opening her arms to Anna and Josh. ‘You remember your Australian granny, don’t you?’

  Fortunately, the children obliged her with warm smiles, and they submitted to hugs and kisses without complaint.

  ‘Your granny’s missed you so much.’

  Brightly wrapped packages were produced from a voluminous designer handbag, and Holly was pleased to see that Anna and Josh looked quite thrilled and remembered to say thank you.

  Gray placed a hand on Holly’s shoulder, almost making her jump out of her skin. ‘You might not remember my mother, Sasha Carlisle.’

  With her shoulder still tingling from the warmth of his touch, Holly held out her hand. ‘I do remember you, Mrs Carlisle. How do you do?’

  Gray’s mother shook hands super-carefully, as if she were afraid Holly might be grubby.

  ‘Holly was one of Chelsea’s bridesmaids,’ Gray reminded her.

  ‘Ah, yes, and now she’s the nanny.’

  ‘Holly’s going to help us with School of the Air,’ Josh explained importantly.

  ‘Is she now?’ Sasha’s eyebrows lifted high and she shot a chilling but meaningful glance to Gray. ‘Is she properly trained?’

  Bristling at being discussed as if she wasn’t even there, Holly decided to speak up for herself. ‘I’m a fully qualified English teacher.’

  The older woman smiled faintly. ‘Thank heavens for small mercies.’

  What was going on here?

  The chilling tension was broken by Anna, who urgently wanted to find a bathroom. Grateful to escape, Holly accompanied her and, by the time they returned, Sasha had left.

  ‘My mother had a function she needed to attend,’ Gray said smoothly. The expression in his eyes lightened and he smiled at Holly. ‘Come on, let’s find a taxi.’

  Their evening in Sydney was fun. The four of them dined out at a fabulous Thai restaurant and then they walked back to their hotel, enjoying the mild winter night and the brightly lit streets. The children were drooping by this stage, however, and Gray had to carry Anna for the last block. She and Josh were so tired they fell straight into bed and were asleep before anyone could think of finding a story to read.

  Gray stayed behind to share a nightcap with Holly in the cosy sitting room that was part of the luxurious suite he’d booked for her and the children.

  They found ice and glasses and little bottles in the minibar and then they sat in deep comfy armchairs. Holly wasn’t sure how relaxed she’d be, or what she and Gray would talk about, so she was totally thrown when he steered the conversation to her break-up with Brandon.

  ‘What went wrong?’ he asked, watching her through slightly narrowed eyes.

  ‘Oh, the usual.’ Holly had only talked about her break-up with her mom and one or two girlfriends, and it felt weird to try to explain it to a man she hardly knew. ‘He was more interested in another woman.’

  ‘So he was a fool,’ Gray said sympathetically.

  ‘Yes, he was a total idiot.’ She forced a smile. ‘But it was partly my fault, I guess. I moved away to New York and, in this case, absence did not make his heart grow fonder.’

  Gray nodded and took a thoughtful sip of his drink. ‘Don’t know if it helps…but after Chelsea took off with the kids…I thought I’d never get over it, and yet, after a time, the worst feelings began to fade.’

  Holly wanted to ask him what had gone wrong in his marriage, but it felt too intrusive to ask Gray when Chelsea had been so close-lipped about it.

  Instead, she said, ‘I guess Chelsea must have loved it here in Sydney.’

  Gray’s smile vanished as if someone had flicked a switch. ‘I’m sure Chelsea must have told you how she felt about Sydney.’

  ‘No.’ Holly blinked. ‘If she did, I don’t remember. She would never say much at all about her time in Australia.’

  He downed a hefty slug of Scotch and scowled into his glass, and Holly felt compelled to explain her comment. ‘It’s just that I was surprised to see how busy and cosmopolitan it is here. Bright lights. Masses of skyscrapers. Lots of people. So many theatres and restaurants. It’s everything Chelsea loved.’

  She watched Gray’s mouth thin into a downward curve.

  He sighed. ‘Yeah, Chelsea loved Sydney all right. She used to fly down here for two or three days and stay for two or three weeks.’

  ‘Oh.’ Sensing that she’d awoken bad memories, Holly tried to make amends. ‘I suppose she dropped in to chat to the dance companies here and—’

  Suddenly, she wasn’t sure how to finish what she’d started. She was trying to defend her cousin when she had no idea really…

  ‘This place had everything Chelsea needed,’ Gray said bleakly.

  Holly wondered if this had been the heart of the problem with their marriage. ‘Did you ever—’ she began hesitantly. ‘I mean, I don’t suppose you…um…considered moving here? Or…or living closer…’

  ‘No.’

  There was quiet vehemence in that single syllable. Gray’s face was a grim stony mask as he stared down at his almost empty glass.

  ‘I guess it would have been difficult to move.’

  She was trying to be diplomatic, but she knew she was on shaky ground. Just the same, she couldn’t help thinking that if Gray had really loved Chelsea he might have been prepared to make sacrifices. Couldn’t he have given up cattle farming and tried something more suited to his wife’s temperament and talents?

  If he’d wanted to save his marriage…

  ‘Moving was out of the question,’ he said with a marked air of finality.

  Right.

  It was time to drop this line of conversation. Holly wondered if stubborn inflexibility was Gray Kidman’s Achilles heel.

  Or was that a bit harsh? After all, he
r cousin had been adamant when she married him that she was happy to give up her career to live with him in his Outback.

  Whatever. It’s none of my business.

  To change the subject, Holly said, ‘I’m looking forward to tomorrow and finally getting to see your place.’

  She saw Gray’s shoulders relax then, and he looked directly into her eyes and smiled slowly in a way that started her tummy fluttering. ‘So am I,’ he said. ‘I’m always glad to get home.’

  The warmth in his eyes suggested that he wasn’t just voicing a cliché. He really meant it. He felt nostalgic about his home in the vast empty Outback. Holly understood this. She always felt a catch in her throat whenever she drove back to her family’s farm and saw the green pastures and red barns of Vermont.

  Tomorrow Anna and Josh would reach their new home. Holly hoped, for their sakes, but more especially for Gray’s sake, that they liked it. Actually, it was her job to make sure that they did.

  Gray couldn’t sleep.

  Leaving his bed, he prowled the length of his hotel room, trying to shrug off the tension that kept him awake. He’d lied to Holly tonight. He’d told her that feelings and memories faded with time but, after his mother’s cool reception at the airport today, and his conversation with Holly about Chelsea, he was once again battling with the feelings of inadequacy and failure that had dogged him all his life.

  As a child he’d never lived up to his mother’s expectations. Hell, he hadn’t even come close. He could still hear the way she’d yelled at his father.

  The boy’s hopeless. Unteachable. A disgrace.

  Even now, the memory brought his clenched fist slamming into his palm.

  Was he never going to shake off these patterns of failure? First his mother had left Jabiru, never to return, and then his wife had left, and both times he’d known he was a major cause of their problems.

  If he’d been able to, he would have taken Chelsea to live in Sydney, as Holly had so innocently suggested. He would have taken her to New York or wherever she wanted to live.

  But, thanks to his lack of schooling, he was unemployable in the city, and even if he’d sold his property and invested in stocks and shares to eke out a living, he would have gone mad in the claustrophobic city. After twenty-four hours, he was always chafing at the bit to get away to the bush.