Forever Devoted (Crazed Devotion Book 2)

by C. A. Harms

  “So Holly?” I say as I ship my finger through the whipped cream on the wrapper inside my box. Slowly lifting it to my lips and swipe it away with my tongue. “Was that the Holly?”

  “If you mean my ex, then yes, that was her.”

  I waited for him to elaborate a little, only he didn’t.

  “Did you know she worked there? Is that why we went?”

  When Ben didn't answer me I turned to look at him. I found him staring back at me with his brows wrinkled up in confusion. “You think I would have purposely taken you there if I’d know she was there?”

  “I just didn't know if you knew going in that we may possibly see her.”

  “No Liz,” ben says as he closes the lid to his container and reaches around to place the remaining desserts in the back seat. “I didn't know she’d be there. I don't have this hidden desire to see my ex. I don’t have these lingering feelings for her that are going to somehow erase the things I feel for you.” Ben’s voice was not loud and irritable, but it had risen a bit. “What Holly and I had, it is long gone. There is not even a small spark between us. To be honest I don’t know if there ever was. But what I do know is that what I feel for you is stronger than anything I have ever felt before in my life.”

  “Okay,” I say hoping he realizes that I never meant to upset him or bring up things of his past. I guess I just had to hear from him that whatever he once may of felt for Holly wasn’t something he felt anymore.

  Jealousy was a evil monster. It made girls feel and do some of the most crazy things. Now that that was out of the way, I felt even more confident about what Ben and I had built.

  “I love you,”I tell him and his features soften. “For a moment I felt a little territorial over you and I apologize.”

  “No need to apologize,” he assures me as he reaches out to take my hand in his. “She and had a relationship along time ago, one that wasn’t strong enough to withstand temptation on her part. The things I felt for her before are things I no longer feel and haven’t in a very, very long time. I love you Liz, that’s real.”

  It felt amazing to hear his confession.

  I lifted the last piece of my cannoli to my lips, already salivating over the yummy goodness I knew was coming when Ben swoops in, steals the pastry and tucks it between his own lips. As if that action wasn’t already bad enough, he adds an overly exaggerated moan, indicating what I knew without his desperate attempt to rub it in.

  “Jerk,” I say my mouth hanging open in both shock and awe. “That was pure evil.”

  “What’s wrong babe,” he says with a mouth full, “you have a taste for cannoli now?”

  I narrow my eyes at him and he chuckles. “It’s my way of guaranteeing you come back to Boston with me each time I come home to visit.”

  I’m not gonna lie I felt that crazy little flutter inside hearing him say he wanted me to visit again. I’d never been that girl before but I’ll admit I was now, well when it came to Ben anyway. I love hearing him admit you needed me and wanted me.

  ***

  “I think I just might miss your crazy family,” I say with a laugh as the plane touches down at Huntsville International. I spent the entire flight with a smile on my face from the memories of our trip.

  It was everything, from the first hug Rhonda gave me to the goodbye both she and Ben Sr. offered. Hearing his father whisper to me that I was perfect for his son brought tears to my eyes. I wanted to say, your son is perfect for me, but I was to choked up to speak.

  If I’m being honest, I didn't want to leave.

  I missed my family and friends, but our time in Boston was exactly that, our time. We grew closer over our week away, not only as a couple, but as friends. Brayden and I had grown closer too. But coming back to our reality was hard. It meant work, and the lack of privacy we once faced had returned. I wanted to escaped with him again and forget about every other responsibility we had waiting for us.

  “You’re gonna miss the constant hassle of my idiot brothers?”

  I shrugged, “They’re not so back after they get offer the initial introduction.”

  “You mean after you verbally kicked them both in the junk?” Ben said with a chuckle as if remembering that exact moment. “I’ve never seen either of them speechless. They always have so much more to say then any of us ever want to hear and in a matter of minutes you had both of them going mute.”

  “What can I say, beside I got skills?” I say just before he tickles my side making me squeal in reaction before I have a moment to stop myself. Brayden looked over at us smiling and that alone made my chest tighten. I absolutely love seeing him happy. Ben did that, he’d made us both happy and I knew that he’d continue to make us happy fro as many days as we both allowed him too.

  Ben leaned in placing a kiss to the space on my neck just below my ear. “Stay with us tonight,” he whispered.

  “Ben,” I say because I can tell by the look in his eyes exactly what he had on his mind.

  “I think we can be careful and very quiet,” he assures me causing me to smile. “Even if I just hold you all night, I just want you with me. I’ve had you next to me every single night for the last week and damn it, I don’t want that to end. I never want it to end.”

  My throat felt raw as I tried to swallow passed my pent up emotions caused but his declaration.

  “When I get the two bedroom apartment, I want you to move in with us,” he confessed and those tears I tried to fight moments ago clouded my vision. “I wanna come home to you, curl up next to you while we watch a movie, before leading you off to bed and spending the rest of the evening sharing myself with you.”

  I couldn't speak, or maybe I should say I was fearful of attempting, so instead I just nodded my head in response. For the first time in my life, I made a huge decision without one ounce of second thought. It was so easy, easier than any other choice I had ever made.

  I wanted Ben, not just for now, or for tomorrow, but forever.

  He is my forever.

  Chapter Thirty

  BEN

  “Where is my suitcase,” Liz hollered from the bedroom, only I chose to ignore her. “Ben? Where is my red suitcase?”

  Brayden laughed from the other end of the couch. “She’s gonna kick your ass.”

  “Hey,” I say in warning no longer feeling weird about disciplining him. At first it was hard to accept that I was responsible for a younger human being. It was up to me to keep him safe and keep him in line. Now over a month later it was like second nature.

  “What?”

  “You know what,” I reply.

  “Fine, she is gonna kick your butt,” he corrects.

  “Boys have you seen my red suitcase?” Liz asks once again as she comes out of the bedroom looking around the new two bedroom apartment we’ve been living in for over a week. “Because I thought I put it in the bedroom but,” she pausing when she sees the both of us staring at her from the couch.

  “What?” She asks wrinkling up her brow.

  “Your suitcase is now in storage,” I tell her as I watch her eyes narrow, “and everything that was inside of it, is now where it belongs.”

  I say no more only watch as it dawns on her what I mean. She spins around on her heels and rushes off toward our bedroom. I heard the sound of the bifold doors on our closet come open and then silence settles over the apartment, nothing can be heard but the television before us.

  After a few more seconds I stand from the couch and begin to move toward our bedroom. “You wearing a cup?” Brayden asks from behind and I just shake my head as I continue to move forward.

  As I entered the bedroom I found Liz standing in front of the closet, staring at the clothes that now hung inside. I slowly stepped up behind her and placed my hands on her hips. “You hung my clothes up?”

  “It was time,” I tell her and she still doesn't look my way. “You’ve been stalling.”

  “No.”

  “Yes,” I correct her. “You’ve been here for a week, yet
you’ve been living out of a suitcase like a gypsy.”

  It was then that she looked back at me. “I was getting around to it,” she assures me with some Liz sass. “I’ve just been busy.”

  “Which is why I decided to help.”

  She hadn’t been busy, in fact she had more time now that she hired a secretary at the center. It was better for her, and for us. It gave us longer mornings and earlier nights, together.

  “I just wanted to be sure,” she finally admits what I already know.

  I turn her around to face me, forcing you to look at me. When her eyes meet mine I lean in and press a soft kiss to her lips. “I have never in my life been more sure of any decision I’ve made. Baby I adore you, and that is not gonna change. This is now your home too, and you need to accept that even if you decided to leave, I wouldn't let you. You’re mine now.”

  “Oh,” she said a smirk tugging at her lips, “is that right?”

  Hooking her waist tighter, I pull her body to mine and her hands come up to link behind my head. My eyes close on their own accord, just the feel of her fingers in my hair makes me feel like I’m floating.

  “That’s right,” I whisper slowly opening my eyes to meet her gaze once more. “You are mine.”

  “I am yours,” she admits just before rising on to her toes and pressing her lips to mine.

  “”And you always will be.”

  ***

  “What the hell are you doing here man?” I ask as I reach out and offer Wade a manly hug, slapping him on the back. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, I guess I just didn't expect to see you here in Arab.”

  “Thought I’d surprise Elle,” he says as he steps back and tucks his hands in his front pockets.

  “Elle,” I repeat as I arch a brow, “Liz did mention the two of you were talking. What’s going on with that?”

  “Just friends,” He assures me holding up his hands. “We kinda clicked while you all where in Florida and I think we both just needed someone to lean on during that time. We’d share stories of Luke, laugh at his craziness, we bonded. She’s a sweet girl.”

  “She is sweet,” I say. Still not so sure I buy the friends explanation entirely but Elle was a big girl. I also knew if he hurt Elle in any way, Liz would lay into him before he had a chance to prepare for the war.

  When wade looked back over his shoulder and eyed Elle as she moved throughout the bar, serving drinks and laughing with the customers, I noticed the territorial look in his eyes.

  “Friends, my ass,” I say regaining his attention.

  “What?”

  “I’ve seen that look before,” I tell him, “in fact, I’ve had that look.”

  “No idea what you’re talking about.” The smirk on Wade’s face couldn't have screamed I’m full of shit any louder than it already was. “Okay fine, I like her,” he admits with a chuckle. “But that’s all it is, she needs time, and I’m willing to give her all the time she needs. She’s special.”

  I nod, because I knew just how special the Berfield girls are. They managed to knock anyway the cross paths with flat on their asses without a seconds warning.

  “Just be careful with her,” I say.

  “You got nothing to worry about when it comes to Elle,” Wade assures me. “Like I said she’s not ready for anything more than friendship and if that’s all she’s willing to give, then I’m taking it.”

  My heart still aches everyday for Elle, for what she lost when Luke left us all. They were never intimate, but there was love shared between the two of them. Loves strong it could have withstood anything. They became the best of friends, a binding connection that was formed in a short period of time, like they were meant to be. It was at times as if they shared each other’s thoughts.

  Elle had an amazing heart, and when she lost Luke it shattered. We could all see it in her every move. She moved throughout her days, as she normally did, but anyone who knew her, understood there was a normal light in her eyes that was missing.A sadness in the way she carried herself. It was heartbreaking.

  “Do you know that for the longest time, I thought there was nothing more I wanted out of life then to be a marine.” Wade says regaining my attention. “Travel the world, see places I’ve never seen. It was month after month, year after year of giving my everything to my brothers and our country, that’s always been enough. Or so I thought, until Luke ya now.”

  We paused and I knew at that moment we were both thinking of the friend we’d lost.

  “Life’s so short,” Wade says, his eyes once again following Elle throughout the room. “You blink and you’ve lost years. It would be worth so much more if you had the special one to share it with.”

  Just then a blur of blond bursts through the door, shaking off the rain that was falling outside.

  “It is,” I assure his just as Liz looks up and meets my gaze. A smile stretching out over her sweet lips and that smile alone makes my knees so fucking weak I swear a sway on my feet. “It so much better with someone by your side.

  Chapter Thirty One

  LIZ

  I entered the apartment and found it dark. Not even the light above the stove was lit as it was on most evenings. It was almost eery at how empty it felt without the boys awake. Usually I found myself arriving home to a full out game console war between Ben, Brayden and sometimes Ryker. They were loud, obnoxious and I loved it.

  But tonight it was silent, I didn't like the quiet. I loved the crazy, and had grown to rely on it.

  Somehow I allowed Elle and Nicole to talk me into a girls night. It was needed I know and I’m glad I finally gave in to their persistence. We enjoyed a nice dinner followed by a movie, and finished off with a few drinks at Lucy’s. Well, Elle and I drank, the human milk machine was our designated driver.

  I hadn't planned to be home early not rolling in at close to midnight but it had been months since the three of us had some alone time together. To be honest I’d missed my girls too. We needed this time to catch up.

  Elle was still pretty closed off when it came to anything involving Wade. They were just friends she insisted and nothing more. I didn't fight her on it, I just took her word for it. The things was regardless of what it truly was between the two of them, he seemed to make her smile. So he couldn't be that bad I just found myself still in desperate need to protect her from any possible heartache. I needed to understand she was a grown woman and was fully capable of protecting her own heart.

  I just never wanted to see the same sadness I seen after she lost Luke.

  A small flicker of light came from the bedroom door that was only slightly ajar. I smiled thinking that maybe Ben had waited up for me as I moved down the hall toward the room we shared. A year ago I would have thought anyone that said I’d be in a relationship, living with a man I loved, was insane. But now I couldn't imagine my life without Ben or Brayden. Ben couldn't have said it better, we were a family. I’ve never been happier than I am now.

  Placing my palm to the door, I slowly pushed it open and found Ben sleeping soundly in the bed. He was curled on his side, his hand outstretched over the space I sleep, as if he was reaching for me in his sleep. That thought alone made my heart feel as if it was being squeezed within my chest.

  I removed my shoes, followed by my pants and lifted my shirt over my head before crawling beneath the covers and moving in close to his warmth. Without a second of hesitation he wrapped his strong arm around my waist and pulled my body against his own.

  “Missed you,” he whispered before pressing a kiss to my forehead and again that familiar act returned. I loved when he got all sweet and confessed his need for me. It was concrete evidence that what we shared was real. Our love was real.

  “I missed you too,” I assure him, arching my neck just enough to look up at him. His eyes still closed, only now he had this sleepy grin on his face. “You knew from the beginning I’d fall in love with you, even why I tried to fight it, you knew.”

  “Yeah,” his smile grew to more of a cock
y grin. That grin now longer triggered a need to argue within me, it only made my stomach tense. It was the most adorable sexy grin.

  “How did you know?”

  It was then Ben opened his eyes to look at me. “Our night together, the first one we shared at the hotel, it wasn’t just about to people blowing off steam. I know we both said it was but it was more than that, you know it and I know it.” His palm slid along my back soothingly and I fought to close my own as as a reaction to his touch. “You let me in that night, you let me see a glimpse of the girl you tried so hard to hide. Even if it was only for a small window of time, you let me see the real you.”

  “It was hard to fight it,” I confess.

  “That’s how I knew,” he adds when his finger trailed along the edge of my jaw. “Letting any man in for even a second is something big for you and it was me that you chose. I think you knew too that there was something more but you were so used to denying yourself that it was almost instinct to put those walls back up and ignore those feelings.”

  He was right, on most days fighting against my urges to want more was almost as easy as breathing.

  “There was no way I was willing to let you deny yourself or deny me a love I knew would be bigger than anything either of us had ever felt.”

  “So cocky,” I say as my gaze met his.

  “But I was right,” he says moving his mouth in closer to mine, his lips barely skimming over my own. “You were meant to be mine Elizabeth, mine to love and mine to protect.”

  I allowed my eyes to flutter shut as Ben kissed me softly.

  “Yes,” I whisper just as he moves in for another.

  I had never felt so safe and protect, nothing compared to the things this man made me feel. He was my everything.

  Epilogue

  Six Months Later