Nobody's Lady

by Annabelle Anders

  As she pulled her hands down, her fingers dragged a trail along his cravat. Reluctantly, she pressed upon his chest and took a step back.

  Holding one another’s gaze with open longing, he seemed as breathless as she was from the encounter. His hair had fallen forward again, giving him that sleepy, sensual look. Liquid warmth pooled in her center, and Lilly thought that perhaps her heart might jump out of her chest.

  After what seemed like several minutes—but was, in fact, only a few seconds—Captain Redmond gestured toward the water, and they began their stroll.

  At last! They could talk without other eyes and ears about.

  “Tell me about your family,” she said. She wanted to know everything about him.

  He tugged at his cravat, uncomfortable at first. Apparently, he wasn’t used to discussing personal matters. But he would not disappoint her. “I have not seen my father and brother since before I joined my regiment, two years ago.”

  And yet he lingered here, in London.

  He was silent as they neared the water’s edge.

  “What is the age difference between you and your brother?” Lilly persisted. She was going to have to help him along. His discomfort in talking about himself merely endeared him to her more.

  “My brother, Edward, is four years older. He has always been my hero. I trailed after him for the better part of childhood. Before he went off to school, he showed me how to be a hellion, just like him.” He chuckled softly to himself, almost as though forgetting she was there. “My father’s property is huge. It encompasses two lakes, several streams, a very large forest, and more meadows than I could count. For a couple of young boys with active imaginations, these places transform into an entirely different world. We were pirates, Robin Hood, and battling knights. Many evenings we would forget to return home until after dark.” He grinned sheepishly. “That earned us a thrashing every time.”

  She imagined him as a youth, trailing after an older boy. “So you and Edward are close then?”

  They had stopped walking and were looking out over the slow winding river. He raised one fist to his mouth and looked away from her. “We have grown apart.”

  Ah, so there was some sadness in his life. No family, it seemed, could escape it.

  “It is difficult when one sibling becomes an adult and the other is still a child.” She could not help thinking about her own sister, who had married while she was yet in the schoolroom.

  He cleared his throat and turned back to her with a smile on his lips. It did not reach his eyes. It was not his real smile. “The heir to a dukedom requires training. He is separated from everyone else and taught to live his life independent of other children. There is little room for mistakes. My brother was distanced from me by my father.”

  “Your father separated his sons from each other?”

  “It was necessary…and my brother—well—he changed. He has grown to be much like my father—disciplined, rigid, aloof—but we all must grow up eventually.” With her hand tucked into his arm, they strolled alongside the river’s edge. “What of your family? I can already tell you have a good relationship with your mother—and your aunt seems to think highly of you as well.”

  He was changing the subject. Was he estranged from his father and brother? As the second son, perhaps he’d been neglected. She must allow him his privacy in this—for now.

  “I had an older sister, Rose, born ten years before me. She was beautiful.” Lilly glanced over at him, feeling sheepish. “She was tall and elegant with gorgeous chestnut hair.” She touched her own hair self-consciously. “I always felt like the ugly duckling around her.” She grimaced at how self-pitying that sounded. “She was as much a mother to me as Mama is.” Why had she told him that? Why had she drawn his attention to the unusual color of her hair? She hoped he did not decide she was unattractive now. “We lost her three years ago. It sometimes feels like summer will never come again. My parents adored Rose. They were so proud of her. She was beautiful, perfect.” Lilly shook her head sadly. “She was a wonderful mother.”

  He was looking at her curiously. “Ah, but you have become a swan.”

  She felt her cheeks turn warm. She had not been fishing.

  “But Rose married and left me all alone.” She feigned a sigh, to show him that she was mocking herself, and then looked up at him to grin. “But she had a beautiful baby. Glenda is an adorable child. I visit with her whenever I can.”

  “How old is your niece?” He sounded genuinely interested.

  “She is all of eight years old and has already surpassed me in sophistication. She is not as playful as she once was. Ever since Rose fell ill…”

  “The child remains with her father?” Captain Redmond asked.

  “Oh yes, but his estate is not far from ours, just over an hour’s drive. Her father is…” Lilly searched for the best way to describe Lord Beauchamp. “Somewhat reclusive, although he dotes on Glenda. He rarely ventures away from his property. We retrieve Glenda every other week and bring her home for a few days at a time.” Lilly laughed and shook her head. “Even I will admit she is becoming spoiled! She needs a mother in her life, but…” She trailed off, realizing what she was about to tell him.

  “But?” he prompted. He was a good listener. It was as though the things she had to say actually mattered! He was a captain! He’d fought in a war and returned safely. He’d won metals. And yet he wanted to know her thoughts—her opinions.

  “My father wishes for me to take on the position!” There, now. She’d said it.

  She was going to have to explain such an announcement. “I love Glenda, truly, I do, but I could never marry Lord Beauchamp.” Never. Never, ever, ever. “First and foremost, he is Rose’s husband. So horribly wrong! And secondly, he is so very old! Thirdly and most importantly, I am not comfortable with him. He has this mustache that is absolutely ridiculous…” Lilly trailed off.

  She really had said more than she ought.

  “It is not legal,” he said.

  Lilly shrugged. “My father and the vicar have discussed this at length. Apparently, the vicar believes the law contradicts the Bible, and so he is willing to abide by my father’s wishes.”

  Oh, dear. She’d told him far too much. For a moment, she thought his jaw clenched. At the same time, his arm went tense beneath her hand. She would change the subject. She ought not to talk about such things with him…even if it did feel as though she’d known him forever.

  “What about you?” Lilly asked. “Does your father press you to marry?”

  “No,” Captain Redmond answered, “I am not the heir. That particular expectation has been placed solely upon my brother.” He sounded irritated. Lilly wondered if he was offended by what she’d said about Lord Beauchamp, her father, and the vicar. She really must learn more restraint! Nonetheless, the whole of the situation was a sore spot with her. She had no wish to marry her sister’s widower.

  “But—” He stopped and turned to look at her. His expression was serious, stern even. “—perhaps when I’ve found the right match…” He stepped closer and put one hand up to her cheek. Pausing momentarily, he glanced toward the hill behind them.

  Not a soul in sight.

  Lilly realized they’d stopped in a somewhat secluded location.

  Lifting his other hand, he then tipped her bonnet back. Lilly inhaled the warmth of his scent. Nothing could stop this. Nothing could stop them.

  Needing to be closer, she pushed herself up onto her toes and tilted her head back. Oh, yes, she thought, before parting her lips.

  His face moved closer and blocked out the sunlight.

  And then his lips were on hers.

  It was exactly what she’d been craving.

  “Oh,” she whispered at his touch. His lips nibbled at the corner of her mouth, and she tasted the essence that was him. Not sure what to do with her hands, she fluttered them at her side before placing them on his hips. His arms wrapped completely around her as he deepened their kiss.


  Lilly was lost to all reason. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears as she gasped for air. She clung to him, lest her knees give out. Breathe, she reminded herself. Breathe. She was not going to faint during her first kiss. She melted into him further.

  Michael growled and explored her mouth. With their bodies pressed together, he felt hard all over, his arms like steel around her. And then his lips abandoned hers. Hot breath trailed from her chin, to her jaw, and then her neck.

  Lilly had never felt anything like this. Surely, she was turning to liquid. Heat poured through her limbs and settled between her thighs. What was this? In that moment, she no longer felt she belonged to herself. She was a shared person, open to this man she’d only just met.

  A cool breeze alerted her to the fact that she no longer wore her bonnet. A few strands of hair had tumbled out of her coiffure. The thought of her hair being down in public frightened her. Suddenly realizing their vulnerability, her vulnerability at being discovered in such a compromising position, Lilly stiffened.

  “Captain,” she said, “Michael, we must stop.”

  Michael stilled as they both sought to regain some composure. His head remained buried in her neck, but he had ceased whatever it was he had been doing to render her so unhinged.

  “Lilly.” His voice was somewhat muffled.

  “Yes, Michael.”

  “You are definitely not going to marry your brother-in-law.”

  “Of course not,” she said.

  Chapter Six

  Help for an Old Friend

  1824

  Why had Michael been so cruel?

  Restlessness coursed through Lilly as she strode back to the chamber she was sharing with Glenda.

  He had hurt her.

  And worse, she now doubted everything she’d believed about him for nearly a decade!

  Upon entering, Lilly found Glenda sprawled out on the bed and Mary, their lady’s maid, folding and smoothing the clothing she had pulled from their trunks. The chamber they’d paid for had only one window, a large bed for two, and a trundle pulled out for a servant. There was one wooden chair and a desk.

  Lilly paced agitatedly near the window. She was more than a little upset by her conversation with Michael. He hadn’t returned to London because people had been dying! He’d been caught in a scarlet fever epidemic. He’d not willingly abandoned her after all, had he?

  He would not lie, would he? What had she done?

  Looking around to locate the leading string for Miss Fussy, Lilly beckoned Glenda to come with her. “Let’s take Miss Fussy outside for a little exercise. It has been a long day of sitting, and I for one could use some air.”

  But Glenda was still upset with her. “When did you tell him? He knew you are my aunt! You promised me no one would be told! Already you have ruined everything!”

  Lilly sighed. “He remembered from before. And you have no need to worry. The duke is not a man to spread gossip.” He would not. In spite of his disgust of Lilly, he would not do anything to ruin an innocent girl’s season. “He will not tell anyone. Come with me, Glenda. I cannot bear to sit inside all evening.”

  Glenda stared down at the pretty new slippers she had insisted upon wearing that evening. “It would not be good if your illegal marriage were to be made public. I would be ruined.” Glenda’s lips were pinched. She was not in a very forgiving mood this evening. “And I do not wish to go out of doors. There is too much mud. I will stay inside with Mary.”

  “Mary will enjoy the fresh air as well,” Lilly said. “We’ll never be able to fall asleep tonight if we idle in here all evening. Now come along, we won’t go far. We’ll be cautious not to step in any puddles.”

  But Glenda would not be convinced. “I am staying here, and Mary can help me prepare for bed, thank you.” She sniffed haughtily. “It is important that I get my rest.”

  Well then.

  Lilly paused for only a moment. She was just going to have to go out alone. It most likely was not a very good idea, but she could not remain indoors for even a minute longer. After all, she would not be totally alone.

  “Do you need to go potty, Miss Fussy?” Her bosom companion of over seven years now perked her ears in excitement. An unlikely-looking dog, Miss Fussy was a small dachshund, low to the ground, long in body and short of leg. A few months after Lilly’s mother’s death, her aunt Eleanor had come for a short visit and brought Miss Fussy along as a gift.

  The pup had been about three months old and weighed less than a cup of tea. As she held the tiny animal and allowed it to lick and nip at her fingers, Lilly’s heart had jumped. How could one not fall instantly in love with such soulful eyes and expressive ears? Lilly had embraced the warmth she’d been missing since her marriage.

  Miss Fussy had needed her.

  After donning her favorite, well-worn cashmere shawl, Lilly grabbed the leading string and scooped Miss Fussy into her arms. Having such short legs, the dog was not very agile. It would be easiest to simply carry her down the stairs and through the tap room. Once outside, Lilly tied the leading string to Miss Fussy’s collar, set her on the wet ground, and followed the little dog as she explored. The night air cooled Lilly’s flushed skin.

  Michael’s unexpected appearance had brought a flood of forgotten emotions raining down inside of her.

  And he was a duke now! Except her heart simply knew him as Michael. Her heart knew him, and it wanted him. It had come back to life, rejoicing the moment she recognized him in the taproom that afternoon. Foolish, foolish heart.

  Michael was betrothed.

  Betrothed to a young heiress, it seemed. She was probably beautiful too. Probably tall and slim and elegant. All of the things that Lilly was not. No doubt, she had perfect alabaster skin, whereas Lilly’s was tanned and a little freckled from working outside in her gardens. Lilly sighed.

  The sun had set, but the moon shone brightly. She wasn’t ready to go back into that stuffy lodging room again. A slight breeze had Lilly pulling her shawl more tightly around herself.

  As much as she loved to read, she struggled to read by candlelight. It tired her eyes. At that thought, she realized her eyes were watering. She impatiently wiped away a stray tear.

  She wasn’t crying. She’d stopped crying years ago. Tears were for a woman who was sad and disappointed. A woman didn’t get sad and disappointed if she didn’t expect too much. A woman didn’t expect too much when she’d accepted her lot in life.

  As the wife of the Baron Beauchamp, Lilly had learned exactly what that was to be. She was a replacement for her sister, a sorry replacement. But she hadn’t even managed that. She’d become an object of disdain, to her husband, to Glenda, even to the servants. The less Lilly dwelled on all she had dreamed of as a girl, the less disappointed she would be now.

  She would not shed her pessimistic outlook, even knowing the baron was gone forever.

  Scooping Miss Fussy into her arms, she allowed the dog to lick her chin. She then tucked the dog’s head down and kissed the soft furry spot between her ears. Miss Fussy snuggled into her, and they absorbed one another’s warmth.

  “You shouldn’t be out here alone.” An approaching voice interrupted her solitude.

  Of course, it would be Michael.

  “I’m not alone,” she said, indicating Miss Fussy. “I have my most excellent bodyguard here.” She smiled a little. It wasn’t a smart idea to wander outside, in a strange place, in the dark no less, alone. But she was a widow now. Did her reputation even matter anymore? She supposed it wouldn’t help Glenda if her stepmother were considered to be scandalous.

  Michael eyed the dog a bit warily. Miss Fussy eyed him right back with a low growl and fur standing on end.

  “You won’t want to come much closer to her. You see, she is my protector.”

  What was she thinking? Walking about outside all alone? Likely more than one unsavory lecher patronized this inn’s tap room. Michael was glad he’d caught sight of her out the window. Anyone could have followed her. Miss Fus
sy and her mistress did not look very fierce, regardless of the small dog’s defensiveness. In fact, Michael thought, Lilly looked vulnerable.

  He had behaved badly at dinner, goading her. He hadn’t meant to be cruel, but all the hurt of her desertion, the years of heartache, had risen up inside of him upon seeing her again.

  Which was ridiculous after all this time.

  “I am sorry,” he said softly, “for provoking you earlier. It was…unkind of me.”

  Lilly eyed him suspiciously. “It was,” she granted. And then, “I’ll admit you’ve had what seems to have been a rather awful day.”

  Appreciating her consideration, he smiled ruefully. “Oh hell, that’s putting it mildly!” They stood together quietly for a moment, neither of them speaking. Then, “I couldn’t believe it when I heard your voice. It was quite a shock…seeing you…” His voice trailed off softly, almost to a whisper.

  Lilly seemed to force an uncomfortable laugh. “I nearly didn’t recognize you! Nearly every inch of you was covered in mud!” But then she grinned. “It was even in your hair. And you stood there, issuing orders! You should have seen yourself.” Miss Fussy squirmed in Lilly’s arms. Crouching down, Lilly placed the dog on the ground.

  “You finally got your pet.” Whenever they had been in the park and come across a dog, she had always expressed her desire for one. And he had remembered. He remembered everything.

  “She has been such a comfort to me.”

  “After your—after Beauchamp’s passing?”

  “Oh, no, I’ve had Miss Fussy for seven years now.” She paused. “Lord Beauchamp could not refuse. She was a gift from my Aunt Eleanor after Mother died.” Lilly took a few steps when the dog tugged at the leading string. “Father was right to ensure we were provided for. I believe he knew himself ill before Mother and I travelled to London that spring. He grew very weak, couldn’t keep his food down, and then stopped eating all together. He died the day after Christmas.”