Happily Never Forever

by Sarah Peis

  “Your Oma will be just fine without you.”

  “Freddie lives here too, you know.”

  “She could move as well. Surely she’d love to live in a big city.”

  “Not happening.”

  “I’ve already signed the contract. That was one of the stipulations. If you don’t do it, the whole thing will be void.”

  Son of a bitch.

  Was he serious right now? There was no way I’d move to Denver. What would I do with Josie? And I couldn’t leave Freddie with Oma. Not while she was a little hellraising demon. And I would miss them too much being so far away.

  Cassie had been so good to me, giving me a job when I really needed one. Not once complaining about my shitty secretarial skills. Paying me more than I would earn anywhere else. Giving me flexible working hours. And she never once asked for anything in return. Until now. And I was going to let her down. The one time she actually needed me. God-damn mother-sucking effer. Time to compromise the shit out of this deal.

  “Fine. But I’m not moving. I’ll commute.”

  “That’s crazy. Why would you do that?” The confusion on Rhett’s face was comical. But I wasn’t laughing. Because the commute would absolutely kill.

  “I told you, I have responsibilities.”

  “Like what? A cat? Take her with you.”

  “No, not the incarnation of evil. More like another human being.”

  “I already told you to take Freddie with you. I’ll get you a big enough place.”

  “How the hell is this beneficial to you? Paying for the secondment and accommodation? And it’s not just Freddie I need to worry about.”

  “I own heaps of places in Denver, so it won’t cost me anything.”

  I wanted to slap the smug grin right off his face. He thought he’d won.

  “Mimi, Mimi, Mimi,” a little voice sang from the back room. Little miss must have woken up from her nap while I was busy arguing.

  “Excuse me,” I said to a startled Rhett. I guess the cat was out of the bag earlier than I thought it would be.

  I went into Josie’s room and was greeted with a gap toothed grin. Gah, that child. Every day she woke up with the biggest smile on her face. It was one of the best parts of my day. Except when someone woke her up, then she resembled an angry little gremlin.

  “Did you have a good sleep?”

  Josie jumped up and down, holding on to the side of her crib. “Mimi, Mimi, Mimi,” she continued chanting. I picked her up and rained kisses down her face, making her giggle. God I loved her giggle.

  “Let’s get you something to eat. How about a banana while I get your sandwich ready?”

  I turned towards the hallway and was startled to see Rhett standing in the doorway, staring at us.

  “Rhett, meet Josie,” I said, taking her little hand and waving it in greeting.

  “You have a child?”

  “She’s definitely not Oma’s. Or Freddie’s. Though it is a miracle that she hasn’t gotten knocked up yet. Freddie that is. Not Oma,” I replied and squeezed past him, brushing my shoulder along his front. The contact felt nicer than I cared to admit, and I blew raspberries on Josie’s neck to distract myself.

  I put Josie in her highchair and peeled a banana for her, handing her a little piece. It would keep her busy while I got a peanut butter sandwich together.

  Rhett followed us into the kitchen. “How old is she?” he asked.

  That was his first question? Fine, let’s go with it. “Almost two.”

  I could see the wheels turning in his head. He probably wondered where her dad was. I braced myself for the usual disparaging comment that I usually got. His next words surprised the shit out of me.

  “She’s cute. Got your hair.” And she did. That’s why nobody ever questioned if she was mine. We McAllisters all had crazy hair. It wasn’t just me. But it also meant we all looked alike and poor Josie got the crazy hair gene. Only that it still looked cute on a toddler. Crazy curls on an adult? Not so much.

  I spent every morning straightening them. We also had a lot of hair which meant it took a while.

  “That she does.” I said. “Do you want to sit down?”

  I pointed to the barstools opposite the counter where Oma was busy taking the pie out of the oven. The coffee was ready and waiting, and she’d even whipped cream for him. I always had to whip my own cream if I wanted any.

  Rhett sat down, looking around the kitchen. I felt almost embarrassed having him in my space. Always had. He was used to money. What would he think about our tiny house? The worn cupboards, scratched counters and outdated appliances?

  “Thank you for having me, Edeltraud, your house looks just like I remember. Always loved coming here,” he said as if sensing my unease.

  “And we loved your visits. Now how much pie do you want?” Oma indicated about a quarter of the pie and despite Rhett’s protest she cut it for him. After dumping half the whipped cream on top, she handed him a plate. Food for Oma equalled affection. Lots of food meant she liked you. If she gave you the smallest piece, you were screwed. Guess she still thought highly of Rhett.

  “Probably not such a great friend towards the end,” he said around mouthfuls of pie. I don’t think we were supposed to hear but since I was right next to him, I did. Josie chose that moment to throw her sandwich, and it landed on Rhett’s lap, breaking the somber mood. The kid had a great sense of timing.

  “Josie, no throwing your food,” I chastised. Food throwing usually meant she was done so I helped her out of her seat and put her on the floor. Rhett fished the sandwich off his lap and I took it off him with an apologetic grin. Josie went to Rhett and lifted her little arms, wanting to be picked up. She wasn’t a shy kid, but she never usually just went up to strangers. I watched Rhett’s brows go up. And then Oma and I watched in fascination when Josie wrapped him around her little finger in three seconds flat. He picked her up, not quite sure how to hold her but eventually putting her down on his lap.

  She clapped her hands and then pointed at his plate. Of course. Pie. That explained so much.

  “Is she allowed to have some?” He looked at me, his fork already moving towards his pie.

  “Sure, go for it. But maybe I should take her though, she’ll stain your suit.”

  I pointed at the pristine and very expensive-looking suit he was wearing. He shook his head and dipped his fork in the pie, cutting off a small piece and dragging it through the cream. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not,” he said and watched Josie who was vibrating with excitement. The kid loved her sugar. Rhett held the fork out in front of her and she lunged at it. Lucky he had quick reflexes and she didn’t head-butt herself on the counter.

  Once she was sitting upright again he put the pie in her mouth, and she happily munched on it, already pointing again. “More.”

  And that’s when the unthinkable happened. He chuckled. A carefree, happy chuckle that transformed his whole face and made him look even hotter.

  I turned away, afraid my face would show my feelings and busied myself with cleaning around the highchair where Josie had left half her food.

  Rhett was really good with her. Patient, gentle and entertaining. She went from giggling to pointing to babbling and saying, “More, more.” I was watching them, wishing for things that couldn’t ever be. Rhett caught my eyes and his lip twitched up in a whisper of a smile. It almost seemed as if we were having a moment. But that was impossible since we hadn’t talked in such a long time. We were different people with different goals. There couldn’t be any moment between us.

  Josie clapped her little hands in front of him, demanding his attention.

  This felt familiar. Normal. He fit right in. And I loved it. Having him in my space, taking care of Josie, showing me what could have been. Bittersweet was probably a better description.

  Oma broke the prolonged silence when she proclaimed, “Dinner is ready.” I had already set the table and helped her carry all the dishes over, the smell making my mouth water. Th
e fact that she had just served dessert before dinner made nobody pause. That’s how we did things and Rhett must have remembered because he didn’t question it.

  We all took a seat, Rhett’s big frame dwarfing our small kitchen table. Josie insisted on sitting next to Rhett, who swapped seats with Freddie when Josie tried to drag her highchair next to him. I was too stunned to do anything but stare.

  I had a boyfriend when I took custody of Josie and she hated him from the moment she first met him. The feeling was mutual, and I was beginning to think the kid had a great radar since he dumped me a few weeks into the whole ordeal. I couldn’t bring up the effort to care, having just lost my brother and gained a child who I was now solely responsible for.

  Josie basically stalking Rhett didn’t make a lick of sense to me. It seemed the rest of the McAllister girls were all too willing to accept him into their midst. Oma was fawning over him, giving him an extra serving of everything. Freddie hadn’t complained about life in at least five minutes, telling me she was determined to make a good impression. And here I was, slack jawed and mute.

  “How long has it been? Four years?” Oma asked.

  “Three,” Rhett answered at the same time I did. I guess I wasn’t the only one keeping count. Oma smiled her secret, up-to-no-good smile in response.

  “What did you do when you moved away?” Freddie chimed in. I was glad she did since I was dying to know what he’d been doing for the last few years.

  “I started working for my father and moved to Denver. Most of the time I’m in New York, though. We just opened an office there.”

  As if it was that easy. “You always said you would never sink so low as to work for him. What happened? Was the money too good to pass up?” I asked. Oma shot me a raised eyebrow but didn’t say anything. She was a woman of few words and I never appreciated it as much as I did at that moment.

  “Things happen and you don’t always get to do what you want. I guess you’d know all about that,” Rhett replied and looked at Josie. What an ass, implying that I didn’t want Josie.

  “I guess you don’t. But aren’t I glad for it because my life at least changed for the better. Can’t say the same for you,” I said, silently fuming.

  “And how would you know?” he shot back. Neither one of us was interested in our food anymore. Rhett’s plate looked untouched, mine didn’t fare much better.

  “You are working for your dad. Isn’t that all I need to know?”

  “Always quick to judge. I see nothing has changed. Maybe you should try giving people the benefit of the doubt. Something you’ll learn as you get older. Not everything is as it seems.”

  “Asshat,” I muttered under my breath, not wanting Josie or Freddie to hear me. Unable to stand the tension any longer, I got up and walked away. I wasn’t ready for the feelings assaulting me. It was hard enough seeing Rhett again. I thought I was over him. But clearly my stupid heart thought otherwise. Useless organ. The escape I had planned ended in the bathroom, where I locked the door and pulled out one of the books I stashed under the sink.

  It didn’t take long for someone to knock on the door.

  “Go away,” I snapped, not ready to come out yet.

  “Schatz,” Oma’s voice sounded through the door. “Stop playing the insulted sausage. You weren’t very nice either.”

  “I’m not a sausage. And he’s a guest. Shouldn’t he be nicer?”

  “If you come out, I’ll make you an Apfelstrudel.”

  “Tonight?”

  “Yes.”

  “Fine,” I huffed and got up, putting my book back.

  Oma was gone by the time I came out of the bathroom and I could hear laughter coming from the kitchen. Traitors, all of them.

  I sat back on my chair next to Rhett and picked my fork up, picking at my food. He let me eat in peace and entertained Josie while I finished. Even I had to admit that was really considerate. And he was amazing with her. Once everyone was done, I cleared the table. Rhett carried Josie around, letting her direct him from one toy to another.

  It was sweet and I found myself watching them. I was doing the dishes, our dishwasher had long since given up the torturous task of cleaning the vast amounts we produced each day, when Rhett appeared next to me.

  “I didn’t mean to insult you,” he said, low enough for only me to hear. He leaned in close, no part of his body touching mine, but the effect just as electrifying. I could feel his heat, hear his breath. My hands stilled in the soapy water.

  “It’s fine. I’m sorry I was a brat.” There, that wasn’t so hard. Guess I could behave like an adult after all.

  “I didn’t mean to insinuate that you didn’t want Josie,” he added and rested his hand on the counter next to the sink.

  “No harm done. I need to finish the dishes so I can put Josie to bed.” I looked back at the sink and continued to scrub.

  “Emmi.”

  “Don’t worry about it. We’re good.” We so weren’t good. We were as far from good as I was from becoming President.

  “Shouldn’t I be the one upset in this scenario?”

  “What do you mean? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Really? You’re still not admitting you were too mad at me to call about Nate?”

  Oh no he didn’t go there yet again.

  “You still don’t believe me.”

  “I forgive you. I already said that. No need for you to keep pretending that you didn’t do it on purpose.”

  And that’s when I was done with this conversation.

  “Get out.”

  “Emmi, just –”

  I stopped what I was doing and stepped away from the sink, clenching my fists, dripping soapy water all over the floor. “I said get out. I’m done with telling you that I didn’t do anything wrong. The Rhett from eight years ago would have believed me. You must have had one shitty ride to only think the worst of people. Now leave me the hell alone. Looks more and more like it was a good thing you disappeared from my life.”

  Towards the end of my rant, his face blanched and then hardened. Expressionless stoneface was back. He turned and walked out of the kitchen. “Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “Yes we will,” I called to his retreating back, trying to get the last word.

  I finished the dishes, silently fuming and breaking a glass when I slammed it down too hard on the drying rack.

  Oma made me Apfelstrudel that I ate while it was still hot and smothered in vanilla ice-cream. At least one thing was going my way today.

  “How could you agree to such a ludicrous proposal?” I said, my voice barely controlled and my twitchy hands waving the folder that contained the contract in front of my face. Surely the paper wouldn’t do much damage if I threw it at her. Just a little throw. One that didn’t even have all that much power behind it. She would hardly feel it. But it would make me feel so much better.

  Instead of giving in, I clutched the folder hard in the hopes my hands wouldn’t decide to let go.

  It was Wednesday and my day was not going well. This morning I finally convinced Freddie to go back to school. She had been driving everyone crazy for the last week, still refusing to go outside and freaking out at every sound.

  I woke up to Josie using the potted plant as her toilet. She managed to take off all her clothes, including her diaper and was sitting on top of the plant when I came into the living room. We had started toilet training her a few weeks ago, and she now used every bucket, glass and apparently pot plant, she could get her sticky little hands on as her toilet.

  After I disposed of the squashed plant and redressed and diapered her, Freddie threw a little hissy fit because I forgot to do the washing and she couldn’t wear her favorite jeans. I told her to wear them unwashed, she told me they had a stain on them. Whereas I gently suggested she could just wash the stain out, and she answered by storming into the bathroom and slamming the door.

 
Oma had fallen asleep on the couch last night, which made her so stiff she couldn’t get up. I had to massage feeling back into her limbs and then help her walk around for a little while.

  When I made it to work, I let out a sigh of relief. And my day seemed to have turned around until I found out that I was indeed supposed to work for Rhett. Which brought me to now, where I was fuming mad and standing in Cassie’s office, letting her know exactly what I thought. She’d promised she wouldn’t do it. I trusted her. The feeling of betrayal stung. And I wasn’t about to take it quietly.

  At least she had the decency to look sorry. “I couldn’t pass up his offer. You read it. At least I hope you did because it involves you. All you’ll have to do is work for him. You’ll be fine. Apparently he mostly works out of his New York office these days, anyway. He won’t even be there.”

  “You damn well know that I can’t work in Denver. It’s a two-hour commute. One way. How am I supposed to take care of Josie, Freddie and Oma?”

  “I thought you read the contract.” She had the nerve to look surprised. “It says he’ll provide housing for you.”

  “Freddie has lived here all her life. Her friends are in Butler. It would kill her to finish her last two years of school somewhere else. And what about Oma? She’s lived in her house most of her life. My Opa built it. It’s not just a house, it’s a home.”

  “You can move back once the contract is up. Please Emmi, you need to help me out here. I need this contract. It’s going to make me enough money to expand and still have something left to give everyone the pay raise I’ve promised for the last two years. I need this. The company needs this. Did you even look at the numbers?”

  Damn it, I hated when she looked at me with her stupidly big round and deep blue eyes. She knew eyes were my weakness. I clutched the folder tighter. “I don’t care about the numbers. I’m not moving permanently. It’s a three year contract.”

  Cassie wrung her hands and looked at me with pleading eyes. I owed her. I knew I did. So the right thing to do would be to accept my fate. But maybe there was a way for us to compromise. “You can tell him I’ll work at his office Thursdays and Fridays and stay at the city for those nights. The rest of the time I’ll work from here.”