by Sarah Peis
I chewed my chocolate, biting down hard enough to shatter some fillings. The sticky candy would do whatever my angry chewing couldn’t. I stared at the screen, watching the game but not understanding what was going on. Just as well since my brain was flitting from conspiracy theories to murder.
Josie stopped snoring, a clear sign that she was waking up. Time to put my game face back on to keep her happy. I’d lost it there for a bit, but I had a responsibility to keep my shit together for her. Moping done, I was ready to be a grown up again.
She opened her eyes and blinked at Gunner, not expecting to see him sitting on a chair next to her couch.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he said, his eyes never moving from the screen. His super hearing must have told him she was awake, even though she hadn’t said a word.
I got up and walked closer, leaving the bowl behind. She’d had enough junk food today to last her a month, and I intended to keep the crappy foods out of sight. She turned her head at my approach and a beautiful smile graced her round face. Her cheeks were red from sleep, her eyes heavy, her hair a beautiful mess. “Hey, Spatz. How did you sleep?”
She sat up and lifted her arms, waiting for me to pick her up. I complied, loving the way her arms hugged me and her head disappeared in my neck. She was still sleepy and needed time to fully wake up. “Do you need to go to the toilet?” I asked, already knowing the answer. We were still potty training, with more or less success.
She nodded and we made our way to the bathroom. Her independent streak demanded she do everything herself, making me stand by the door and wait. Once she flushed, and I made sure she’d washed her hands and her diaper was back on, we went back to the kitchen for a drink.
“What do you want to do for the rest of the day? Hang out here? Or go somewhere?” I asked while getting her a cup of water.
“Probably best if you guys stay in,” Gunner chimed in.
“Wasn’t asking for your opinion,” I said, turning my back on him.
“It’s not safe to go out, not since Anna knows you’re here. Let Rhett sort this out first.”
“Let Rhett sort it out? Are you forking kidding me?”
“Nope. Completely serious. And if you plan on going out, I’m going to have to call in the guys. Believe me when I say you don’t want me to call in the guys.”
“You’ve been fine watching us by yourself so far. Nothing’s changed. Anna might be delusional, but I doubt she’d do us harm.”
“The rules have changed and so have my orders. You’re not going anywhere without at least one other person with you. Which will most likely be me.”
“Overkill much?” He must be crazy if he thought I’d agree to this madness. I was not important. That would cost a fortune. And I was not worth it.
“We could build a fort.” He stood up and looked at Josie who was watching our argument in fascination. “Hey, little bit, what do you think, want to make the best fort ever?”
She dropped her sippy cup, thankfully not spilling it everywhere, and ran up to Gunner. “Fort, fort, fort,” she chanted. “Come, Mimi. We build fort.”
That sneaky little shit. He played me. I took a deep breath and decided to just accept my fate. I didn’t really want to leave the apartment anyway. I walked down the hallway to grab the blankets I saw in the hall closet. “All right, let’s build the best fort ever.”
Gunner was surprisingly adept at the fort building business. He pushed the furniture in a circle, making sure it was all as close together as possible. He directed us on how to put the blankets on top and covered the areas we couldn’t reach. The thoughtfulness in which he interacted with Josie made even my stubborn anger melt and by the end of our project, my brooding was a thing of the past.
We all sat inside the gigantic fort that could at least fit about twenty children. Josie was in fort heaven. She crawled around, unable to decide where she wanted to play first. She’d made us bring all her toys inside, hardly leaving any space on the floor to move around. Once she was settled and had seemingly forgotten our presence, I crawled back outside, careful not to squash any of her precious dolls.
Gunner was busy typing on his phone, apparently done with having fun. It probably meant he was close to his two smiles a day quota.
“I’ve gotta go.”
“What? Now?” He was such a confusing man. “What happened to ‘Emmi can’t be left on her own’,” I said, imitating his deep voice on the last part.
“You won’t be on your own. Bye, little bit,” he called in Josie’s direction.
But wasn’t he leaving? I was so confused. When he walked to the front door, unlocked it and left, I was still confused.
It was almost dinner time and my stomach was doing summersaults from all the sugar. I should probably attempt to eat at least one proper meal today. “Hey Spatz, how about Thai for dinner? Or there’s a great Indian place just around the corner.”
“I’d go with the steak house. They do the best kids meals.”
I shrieked at the unexpected visitor. Rhett was standing in the hallway. After a stare off that accomplished absolutely nothing, he closed the door behind him, walking in like today didn’t even happen.
“What are you doing here?” I sputtered, trying to escape. My retreat was thwarted by the massive fridge. That was the last time I had anything positive to say about that monstrosity. He stopped in front of me, entirely too close, and at the same time not close enough. Gah, I really had to sort myself out. Make a decision and stick with it.
“I’m staying here.”
“What do you mean you’re staying here? In this apartment? Or in Denver? Or on planet Earth? Not sure Mars would agree with you. They need their overlord back, I’d imagine.”
“We need to talk.”
We both knew we had to talk. If nothing else, we needed to sort out the bodyguard issue.
“Talk,” I said, putting space between us.
“I never thought we’d lose touch.”
“We didn’t lose touch. You left, ignored all my calls and emails, and I moved on. The end.” He flinched at my words, his face a mask of hurt.
“You know it’s more complicated than that. We were best friends.”
“I thought so too. But best friends don’t abandon each other. They stick together, no matter what.”
“Dad funded Greenhouse.”
And with that, I knew that he had made the only choice he could. Follow his dreams and make a difference. Greenhouse was the project he’d thought about for years. It was a recycling project that made clothes, blankets and bags out of other people’s discarded fabrics. It was brilliant really. He’d told me a lot about Greenhouse. It not only recycled trash, it also sent half of the clothes it made to third world countries. They made a difference. Just like he had always envisioned.
“That’s great, Rhett. I’m so happy for you.” I knew founding Greenhouse was his dream, his chance at changing the world. But I was a selfish cow and couldn’t get over his betrayal.
His stance relaxed, the tense line of his shoulders disappeared. “Thanks. It’s grown bigger than even I could have imagined. I had to give up leadership of the company when dad got ill and made me take over as CEO of Cormack Industries, but the board I put in place is perfect. They share my vision and have continued to grow the company. I’m still a shareholder, which means I’m not totally out of the picture.”
I broke eye contact, unable to bear the tension any longer. There was no way I couldn’t understand why he did what he did. But that didn’t change the fact that he hurt me more than anyone ever had. Not even Anna had managed to leave as much destruction behind as he did. But could I really blame him? He didn’t know how desperately I was in love with him. He’d been eighteen, whilst I was just sixteen. Nothing could have happened. I knew that. But that didn’t change my feelings. Hadn’t changed them in eight years.
“Emmi, please, I need you to understand.” The desperation in his voice made me look up again, flinching at the open way he laid it
all out. His face was expressive, hiding nothing. “I had to leave. Your mom had an affair with my father. I was a mess when Mom had to go to rehab. Dad paid a lot of money to Anna, but she wouldn’t stop coming around the house. Screaming on the front lawn, making a scene. I had to stay away from you, no matter what. You were getting older and my feelings for you were changing. And I knew it was wrong. I did the best thing for both of us.”
“I do understand. I really do. But you hurt me so much. You could have explained.” Why didn’t he explain? Instead I was left confused, hurt and once again abandoned by those I had loved the most.
He took my hands, holding them up to his face, putting my palms on each of his cheeks. His eyes drank in my face, lingering over my lips, ghosting over my cheekbones and stopping at my eyes. I was caught, unable to look away. “I need a second chance. Please. Tell me you’ll let me prove to you how much I want there to be an ‘us’ again. The way we were. Us against the world.”
My heart sank. There was no way I could go back to the way things were. It became obvious to me that my feelings were still more than what his were for me. He wanted friendship. I wanted him. I still loved him with a desperation that scared me. So instead of giving him what he so desperately desired, I said, “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
He didn’t move, just continued to watch me. Eventually he released my hands, and I dropped them at my sides. “Okay.” He nodded, running his hands through his hair, making it stick up in all directions. “I understand. But I won’t give up. I told you before I won’t let you go again.”
He ignored my attempt at walking away. Instead he did the worst thing he could have. He walked closer and pulled me into his chest, hugging me. Turned out he was still my weakness because my arms automatically sneaked around him like they’d done a hundred times before. But that was when we still knew each other. Now we were strangers. Different people that had nothing in common anymore.
“What are you doing?” I said, my voice muffled by his chest. God I loved the smell of him. The feel of him. The way he held me.
“I needed to touch you like I needed my next breath. I know you’re still angry with me, but please just let me hold you. I need to feel like there is still a chance you’ll forgive me. Let me explain. It’s not exactly what you think.”
I stayed silent, taking in his words, unsure of how to respond. My anger was mostly gone, hurt being the only thing left. But that was so much worse. Because it made me physically ache. My throat closed up and all I could do was hold on. Rhett held me so tight, my ribs started aching. I didn’t mind. I loved being this close, even if I knew it wouldn’t last long.
He eventually untangled our bodies, as reluctant as I was to let go.
I pointed toward the fort, the weight on my chest threatening to crush me. “I should go check on Josie. Why don’t you order dinner? She’ll eat anything with chicken, hates tomato and won’t eat rice. I’ll have whatever.”
And with that, he was all business again, his face back to an unreadable mask as he got out his phone.
“And by the way, I don’t think you need to have someone on me all the time. Give Gunner a break.”
He inclined his head, phone halfway suspended to his ear. “Not happening.”
I sat up in bed with a start, confused where I was. Josie’s snoring reminded me I was in Denver. I managed to get myself into a nice sugar induced coma last night, passing out as soon as my head hit the pillow. Rhett insisted on staying, claiming one of the spare bedrooms. He had dinner with us, like we’d done it a hundred times before. He ordered enough to feed ten people, the three of us barely making a dent in the various containers strewn across the kitchen table.
We didn’t talk much, but I felt his eyes on me the entire night. I went to bed around eight, his presence making me fidgety and unsettled. I wanted him there as much as I didn’t. His presence calmed me and at the same time it drove me crazy.
Sleep was a welcome reprieve, an escape from the day from hell. To my utter dismay, I was now wide awake, no amount of turning and fluffing my pillows was allowing me to go back to sleep. My throat was a desert, and a glance at my nightstand confirmed I’d forgotten to bring water in with me.
I eventually gave up and dragged myself out of bed. The apartment was dark, and I fumbled for the light switch when I made my way into the kitchen. The sudden brightness blinded me for a moment, making me stumble over one of Josie’s toys. I caught myself on the counter, kicking the offending stuffed animal and cursing under my breath. I should have cleaned up.
I grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with water. When I turned, I was surprised by a figure moving toward me. I shrieked and dropped the glass. Cold water splashed all over my legs and the glass shattered
“Don’t move,” Rhett said. He put on shoes and walked into the kitchen. He lifted me up and sat me on the counter. “Stay there.”
Where else was I gonna go? The low light reflected off the glass littering the floor and I cringed at my clumsiness. He got the broom and started sweeping up the mess I’d made, checking every inch of the kitchen to make sure nothing was left behind.
When he put the broom away, I shifted on the counter. “Can I come down now?”
Three steps brought him closer, one more and he crowded my space on the counter top. He stood close enough that I felt the heat off his body but far enough away that we weren’t touching. He wore a t-shirt and pajama pants, looking casual and relaxed for the first time since we’d met again.
“What are you doing?” I rasped, leaning away from him.
Another half step closer and he pressed up against my knees, his hands braced on either side of my body. I shivered and leaned back further.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he answered, his deep voice addictive.
His hands moved to my knees, gently nudging them apart. I was too stunned to protest, and he stepped between my legs. All I could see was Rhett. All I could feel was Rhett. All I wanted in this moment was more of Rhett. He was making a move. Even I wasn’t too dense to recognize one as strong as this one. I didn’t understand why now, neither did I try to get my head around it. All that mattered was that he was within reach, something I didn’t think would ever happen.
I tentatively leaned forward, my nipples brushing his chest. My eyes went wide at the contact, and he let out a low growl.
“Please tell me you want this as much as I do,” he said, his arms pulling me closer.
“More than you could ever know.” I lifted my head in invitation, and without hesitation he touched his lips to mine. I sighed in bliss when I finally felt him kissing me, something I had fantasized about since I was thirteen and wearing braces. It was better than even my wildest dreams could have imagined. He was soft at first as if to test the waters and when I wiggled closer, eliminating all space between us, he deepened the kiss.
His tongue sneaked out and I opened for him, eager to taste all he had to offer. I never thought that all it would take was a kiss. One long ass, hot and heavy kiss to get me worked up, ready for whatever he was willing to give. I tugged at his shirt and pulled it up. He broke away to pull the shirt off, coming back at me as soon as the offending garment was gone.
The next thing to go was my tank top which was dealt with even faster than Rhett’s shirt. I wasn’t wearing a bra, hated sleeping in one, and was now bared to him. The thought of Rhett’s gaze on me was as exciting as it was daunting. What if he found me lacking?
I fought the urge to cover myself. Rhett was as perceptive as ever and noticed my slight discomfort. He didn’t give me a chance to retreat but instead his head descended and he took one of my nipples in his mouth. Holy shit and there went my ability to think.
“I’ve been thinking about this moment for so long. Please tell me I’m not dreaming,” he murmured, his mouth still exploring my body, his warm breath caressing my skin.
“Definitely not a dream,” I sighed and buried my hands in his hair.
We were a tangle of limbs,
Rhett the perfect height now that I sat on the kitchen counter. I couldn’t believe this was happening. We had resolved nothing before I went to bed and Rhett had looked angry. Now he was the opposite, his gaze hot, his touch worshipping.
My head was spinning, my hands roaming over his body, and I loved every minute of it. If it was the only time I got to touch him, I would certainly make the most of it. I didn’t know what had changed, but something seemed to have snapped, as if whatever was holding him back before was gone.
His mouth found mine again, and I pushed closer, closer, closer. I would never be able to get enough of him. This was it. My teenage crush had morphed into an infatuation that ended in whatever this was. One thing I knew down to the deepest parts of my soul was that he was everything.
I wrapped my legs around him, my hands disappearing in the back of his pants. He was hard all over, and I couldn’t get enough, couldn’t touch him everywhere I wanted to at once so my hands continued exploring with a desperation I had never known I could feel.
But it only seemed to spur him on, his own hands exploring, his mouth frantic. He pushed against me, his hard bulge right at my core and I shivered.
“I want you. So much. Please tell me this is going to happen,” Rhett moaned, pushing impossibly closer, every part of our bodies connected.
“I want you too. Please Rhett.”
Picking me up, he carried me through the apartment and into his room. He pushed the door closed as soon as we were inside and dropped me on the bed, coming down on top of me.
I pushed my hands back into his boxers and tugged them down. I don’t remember ever feeling this way with anyone. Admittedly, my experience wasn’t much, having only slept with two guys but nothing had ever felt like this. I felt treasured, his mouth gently kissing every inch of my body, his hands gentle in their exploration.
Then my underwear was gone and I could feel him nudge against me. I wasn’t very coherent anymore, but I knew there was one thing I would never go without, not since already having more responsibility than I ever thought I would at twenty one. “Condom,” I breathed, my voice strained.
