He laughed, jogging across the path to her. “Hey, Mrs. K!” he said, bending down to give her one of his famous bear hugs.
“We didn’t get to catch up much, the other day,” her mother said. “Tell me what you’re up to!”
Bria smiled as she watched them catch up, and eavesdropped as she heard Knox say he was teaching at a middle school just outside of town. He had heard a job was opening up at Dalesville the following school year, though, and he was thinking about applying. Bria smiled to herself. It took him a few tries to figure out where he wanted to be in his life, but he had made it. And she was proud of him. She was pretty sure he would be the most fun teacher ever. And she was also pretty sure he was the heartthrob of the school.
Geez, if he ended up at Dalesville High, he would be the new Mr. Thorn, the insanely hot physics teacher that everyone, including Bria, drooled over in high school. Oh, Mr. Thorn. He had been the subject of many of her teenage fantasies—like the one where she accidentally got locked in the science closet with him. She almost laughed out loud, thinking about the desperate, totally fictional situations she had drummed up as a hormonal teenager. But for half-a-second, she pictured herself back in that storage closet. Only, this time, the teacher was Knox.
Nope. Nope, nope, nope.
Just then, she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket, and she jumped as if she had been caught.
“Hey, babe,” she said, quietly, stepping a little further away from her mother and Knox.
“Hey. I got off early today,” he said, “so I was thinking maybe you could come home for the rest of the day? We could order in, spend the rest of the day naked.” Bria giggled quietly.
“That sounds nice,” she said, “but I sort of already promised Katie that I’d hang out with her tonight. You know she’s so lonely, and I—“
“Oh, okay. I get it. You two enjoy your night.” But it wasn’t a sweet sentiment. This was a sarcastic, whiny, “pay-attention-to-me” comment. She didn’t turn down sex a lot, and it was definitely something that got to him when she did.
“Seriously? You’re not actually mad that I’m spending time with my sick sister, are you?”
“I said I got it. Do what you have to do.” Ugh. She hated when he played that passive-aggressive shit. She was not here for it.
“Can you please act like a grown-up? It’s not like I left and am never coming back. And I’ve only been gone for a few days.” She was trying to keep quiet, but she could feel pissed-off Bria rising to the top.
“Whatever, Bria. I’ll just talk to you later.” As her fingers fumbled to dramatically press the “end” button, she looked up to see Knox coming closer.
Oh, God, Knox. She had forgotten for a brief moment that he was there. She wondered how much he heard. She used to go to him whenever she and one of her boyfriends argued. Knox was Bria’s shoulder to lean on, the subject of her boyfriends’ jealousy. But now, she didn’t know if she wanted Knox in on the secret that she wasn’t living a life of pure bliss. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to be vulnerable with him anymore. She looked down as he made his way toward her.
“Hey,” he said. She looked up at him. “Jimmie Cone?”
Even if she was embarrassed, there was nothing that could stop the huge smile from taking over her face.
“Jimmie Cone,” she said.
FOUR
Then, Summer Before Sophomore Year
Her phone buzzed on her bed as she dug through her dresser, trying to find just one clean pair of socks. Bria had come to learn that being a runner meant a permanent shortage of socks. Finally, jackpot. She sprang to her phone.
“Hey, sorry! I’ll be down in a sec,” she said, hanging up as quickly as she had answered. “Mom, dad, Knox is here, we’re going to Jimmie Cone.”
“Okay, hon, see you later,” her dad called.
“Careful,” echoed her mom.
Her parents were so laid-back, she could probably kill someone and they wouldn’t even bat an eye. Okay, maybe not that laid back, but still. She never got into much trouble, so they never really had a reason to impose any rules. She came home early enough on her own account, got straight A’s, and kept generally good company. She had never had a boyfriend, or even gone on a real date, so they hadn’t really had to worry about her getting knocked up, or dealing with heartbreak.
It had been almost a year since she first went to Knox’s party, and since then, they had rarely gone a week without hanging out. They drove around town together in his car, grabbed food during lunch, and even ran together when Mari or Christa wasn’t available. Although, Knox bitched about it pretty much the entire time. But to Bria, that just showed that he wanted to spend time with her. He wanted to be around her enough that he was willing to struggle through the endless miles she put on his best basketball shoes.
But Knox was still Knox. There was a different girl almost every week. He was never alone, but she sometimes got the sense that he was lonely, like when he texted Bria late at night, just to talk. She was a few years younger than him, but he leaned on her a lot.
Their relationship definitely wasn’t one-way, though. Bria depended on him for entertainment, and even though they were strictly platonic, she couldn’t help but live for the feeling his attention gave her. So many times, she’d hear him call her name down a crowded hallway. He would hug her whenever he saw her, petting her hair, holding her close, making her underclassmen friends jealous, their jaws to the ground. Although she and Knox had spent a lot of their summer together—she suspected that his weekly callers were away on vacation somewhere—they hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks because of their own vacations. She was excited to sit in his beat-up old car, listening to music so loud the windows shook. They’d stuff their faces with soft serve and she’d laugh at his endearing foolishness. As she walked out the back door and around the house, she could hear the bass in his car thumping.
“Hey, hey, baby cakes!” he said. He held his arms out as she ran to him, her usual full-on collision hug. It might have been a bit dramatic, but she really had missed him. He hesitated for a moment, holding her up in the air. When he did put her back down, she noticed he was looking at her longer than normal. She was tan, with more natural highlights in her hair, her freckles a little more prominent. But more than that, she knew she had. . . developed a bit this summer. She didn’t feel as awkward in her own skin; clothes fit her better, she felt more like herself than she ever had. Maybe he had suddenly taken notice. For a second, she actually felt a little self-conscious, something she hadn’t felt around him since the first time they met. She tucked her hair behind her ear and crossed her arms across her chest. He cleared his throat and looked over at the house.
Desperate to change the unspoken subject, she reached for the car door.
“Hold on there, killer. I can’t come by without saying hi to the mama.”
Bria smiled as she watched him walk to the back door, letting himself in. “Hi, sweetheart!” she could hear her mom calling from the house. Bria rolled her eyes to herself, but the smile didn’t leave her face. What a suck-up.
They pulled into Jimmie Cone, and as expected, it was packed. Knox drove around to the backside, where the locals knew to park because it was way less crowded. As they walked up, Bria couldn’t help but soak it all in. Walking there, next to him. Kids ran around the parking lot, families and circles of teenagers huddled around the wooden picnic tables on either side of the ordering window, the big ice cream cone glowed bright in neon lights on the Jimmie Cone sign that hung over the awning. The air was still warm, but as the sun was going down, she felt a little shiver. Before the chills even popped up on her skin, Knox had pulled his sweatshirt off over his head.
“Here,” he said. Just as she reached for it, she heard a screech from across the parking lot. Ugh. Courtney. Bria quickly pulled the hoodie on over her head, as if Courtney was going to try and steal it, claiming Knox as her own.
“Knox!” Courtney cried, running across the parking lot,
diving into his arms, practically knocking her out of the way. So dramatic. That was only okay when Bria did it.
Of course, right behind Courtney was her band of followers, just as expected. And Knox had his moment with all of them. Laughing, smiling, letting his arms dangle around their shoulders just a little too long. This wasn’t exactly the reunion she had pictured. She sighed. This was pretty typical. As she let him dwell in his ultra-feminine circle, she walked under the awning, getting in line. She’d be damned if she wasn’t getting her ice cream. That was the thing about Bria. She didn’t need his attention like a lot of the other girls in his life did. She liked it, yes. But she wasn’t afraid to walk away from him. She supposed that that was why he kept coming around. She didn’t need him to fawn over her; she was low-maintenance.
She stood in the extra-long line, tapping her foot while she squinted to see the menu that hung over the ordering window. She didn’t know why she even bothered; it wasn’t like she was going to get anything other than a chocolate-and-vanilla swirl with rainbow jimmies. But, she looked anyways.
“Damn, speedy, need glasses?” she heard a voice say. She turned to see Brett Balkner, the quarterback, standing unusually close to her in line.
“Hey, Brett,” she said, a little weirded out. She was pretty positive that they had never spoken before. With her running success, she had become somewhat famous around school, so she guessed that’s how he knew who she was. But all the millions of times she had walked by him in the hall, he never batted an eye. Guess it was the new hips and boobs that Knox had so awkwardly noticed earlier. Thanks a lot, puberty.
“How has your summer been?”
“Oh, good, ya know. Just got back from the beach last weekend,” she said, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.
“Oh, nice. Running a lot, I’m sure,” he said.
“You know it,” she chuckled. Finally she was at the window. “Can I get a small swirl with rainbow jimmies, please?” She rummaged through her bag, grabbing her wallet, but Brett stuck out his hand.
“And I’ll take a chocolate shake,” he said. “Both of these are together.”
“Oh no, you don’t have to—“
“Nonsense,” he said, “gotta get the State Champ’s ice cream.”
“Runner up,” she said, laughing. “Thank you.” Brett’s name was the one you heard all over town; he was a Dalesville celebrity in his own right. The younger kids in town would make t-shirts with his name and number on the back, and even the other parents swooned over him. After a few moments, their ice cream was ready.
“You wanna sit down?” Brett asked, pointing to an empty table. She looked around the parking lot for Knox. There he was, still surrounded, flocks of girls still hanging off his neck.
“Sure,” she said, still a little skeptical. Guys didn’t just buy her ice cream and ask her to sit with them. This never happened.
“How did you get up here, anyways?”
“Oh, I came with Knox,” she said, eyeing the group across the lot.
“Ah, good ol’ Knox,” Brett said with a chuckle. “Never without a female companion. Although, I don’t really get why he’s wasting his time with them, when he came with you.”
She looked up at him in between licks of her cone. Brett was dangerously good-looking. His dark, curly hair was trimmed tight to his head, and his tan skin glowed, even in the dark. He wore a tight t-shirt that did wonders for his football muscles, unlike the baggy shirts Knox usually wore. He wore bright white sneakers, and smelled like some sort of expensive cologne. He was delicious.
“Ooh, nah. We’re not like that,” she said, looking across the parking lot again. “He’s just my best friend.”
“Well,” Brett said, moving in a little closer to her, “that’s lucky for me, then, I guess.”
Bria smirked a little—he was laying it on thick, but she
didn’t mind—then she scooted even closer to him.
“Yeah, I guess so,” she said.
She wasn’t doing her due diligence with the licking of her cone, and hardly noticed when a drip of her melted ice cream landed on her sweatshirt.
“Oops,” Brett said, pointing to it.
“Ah, it’s okay. It’s Knox’s anyways,” she said, and they both laughed. With that, she took the hoodie off, setting it down on the bench next to her.
An hour or so passed, and she still sat at the wooden table with Brett, listening to stories about his summer, and all the colleges he had visited up and down the East Coast. He asked her about her summer, her parents, her younger sisters, how running was going. It wasn’t until Knox showed up in front of them that she noticed Brett’s arm around her shoulder.
“Hey, you ready?” he asked. “Hey, Brett, what’s up?”
“Hey, man,” Brett said. “Actually, Bria, I can take you home, if you want?”
She looked back at Knox. The smug look on his face told her he was expecting Bria to reject Brett’s offer; he was expecting her to hop up and run to his beat-up old Chevy. Now that his fan club had dissipated, it was Bria’s turn again. But for some reason, she didn’t feel like popping up tonight. Not when she had the quarterback draped around her, his cologne getting into her hair. And not when Knox had stood her up for an hour.
“Yeah, that sounds great,” she said. “I’ll see you later?” Knox tilted his head back slightly, his eyebrows raising in surprise, and nodded slowly.
“Alright, see you later, baby cakes,” he said. “Peace, Brett.”
For just one second, Bria felt a pang of guilt watching Knox walk across the parking lot by himself.
“‘Baby cakes?’” Brett asked, as Knox walked to his car, swinging his keys from his lanyard.
“He always calls me that,” she said. After a few more minutes, Brett walked her to his car, the brand-new Camaro his parents bought him after he received his first college offer. When they pulled up into her driveway, he cut the engine off.
“Well, this was really fun,” he said. “I’m really glad I ran into you.”
“Yeah, me too!” she said, feeling her palms begin to sweat. Holy shit. Was she about to have her first kiss? Jesus. What was she supposed to do? Lean in, or let him come in all the way? Or maybe nothing. But before her thoughts could make her head explode, he leaned over, cupping her cheek in his hand. He laid the most gentle kiss on her lips, no tongue, no intense face-smushing, just a perfect, innocent, just-long-enough kiss. The kind that makes your stomach flip over completely. For a moment, she forgot to open her eyes.
“Sorry,” he said, “but I’ve been wanting to do that all night.”
“Don’t be sorry,” she said. “I’m glad you did.”
“Look, can I, uh, can I take you out sometime soon? Like, really take you out, not just run into you at Jimmie Cone?” he asked. She giggled.
“Yeah, I’d really like that.”
As she walked into the house, Bria could still smell Brett’s cologne lingering in her hair. She said goodnight to her mom and dad and walked up to her room in a haze, falling softly into her bed. Buzz. She rolled over toward her phone.
Did Balkner get u home? The text said. It was Knox. She rolled her eyes.
Yep, safe and sound. Instantly, he responded.
Good. Sry about tonite. Hadn’t seen them in a while. Hang tmrw?
She paused for a moment. Never had he apologized for letting her disappear. Never had he even seemed to notice that he had forgotten about her. Until now, coincidentally, when someone else noticed her.
No worries. Not sure. Might be going out with Brett, she typed, feeling inexplicably triumphant.
She waited patiently for a text back, but nothing. Shit. Was he mad? Did she hurt his feelings? But as she closed her eyes and replayed her kiss over, and over again, she forgot to care.
FIVE
Now
“Thanks,” Knox said, reaching through the window and grabbing two chocolate-and-vanilla swirls from the teenage kid who was working. He licked one, and handed her
the other. In their younger days, he would lick one, go to hand her the other, but sneak a lick of hers first. She’d roll her eyes and shove him, pretending to be grossed out. But secretly, she had liked the idea of her tongue having been somewhere that his had. It was only an ice cream cone, but there was something sweet about sharing it, intimate, almost.
“Thank you,” she said, quickly licking the sides before the ice cream dripped down to her hand.
“So, how are things?” he asked with a sly smile as they made their way toward one of the old wooden picnic tables in the parking lot.
“If by things, you mean my fiancé,” she said, choosing her words carefully, “things are going well.”
“Uh-huh,” Knox said, his voice weighted with skepticism. Bria felt her defenses going up.
“No, despite what you may have heard today, things are fine. Really. He treats me great. We’re looking into rowhomes in the city soon, and the wedding planning is all coming along wonderfully.”
“Well, that’s great,” he said, popping the last piece of the cone into his mouth, and she couldn’t help but let her eyes linger on his lips just a little too long. She used to love running to Knox with any relationship issue she was having. She knew anything she said would never get any further than the two of them. And he never really offered great advice, but he listened, something that her other friends tended not to do.
“How about with you?” she asked, cheekily. “How are the ladies in your life?”
He shot her a look, and cracked that half-smile she had loved so much.
“Ah, you know, some here, some there. I’m sort of seeing this one girl, but it’s nothing serious,” he said, clapping his hands together to dust off the crumbs. She smiled. Same old Knox. She knew he probably still had his fair share of hookups. But something inside her was selfishly happy that he still didn’t have anyone steady in his life, and she wasn’t quite sure why.
“Sounds like the Knox I know,” she said, smiling.
“Mhmm,” he said. “So, if things are going so well, why are you home in the middle of the week?” he asked. She looked down at the ground. Knox was the only friend who knew all the intimate details about Katie’s illness, and her family’s financial struggles. And even though so many years had passed, she still didn’t feel like she could lie to him. “Oh, no. Is it Katie?”
It Goes Without Saying Page 4
