Whoa. He knew. She couldn’t believe he had figured it out so easily. She nodded, looking up at him.
“Is it bad?” He leaned back against the table as she told him the situation—Katie’s symptoms returning, the treatment she needed, Bria’s decision to move home to help with the finances.
“I’m so sorry, B,” he said, gently brushing her hand with his, sending some sort of weird jolt through her body. “Tell the family that if there’s anything I can do, I’m always around.”
As they walked back to his car, she smiled as she got in. He had a shiny new Malibu. A definite step up from the beat-up old cars she’d ridden in as a teen.
“Much different than good Old Red, or your dad’s old pick-up,” she said with a smile.
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Lots of memories in those cars.”
As they started down Main Street, turning onto the backroads, Bria heard an old T-Pain song―one of their favorite jams in high school―come on the radio. She instinctively reached for the dial, but stopped herself.
“No, go ahead. I love this song,” he said. She smiled and turned it up full blast. As the music reached her soul, she put her window down and stuck her arm outside, waving it along to the beat. Something came over her; maybe it was the warm August sunshine, or maybe it was being Knox’s passenger again. But she suddenly felt light as a feather, carefree. She stuck her head out the window, belting out the words, as tone-deaf as ever. She stopped when she heard a familiar, beautiful sound: Knox’s laugh.
“If you’re gonna put on one of your famous performances, you might as well do it right,” he said, reaching up to open the sunroof. She unbuckled and stood up, letting the wind whisk her hair all over the place. As the song ended, she slumped back down into the seat, laughing hysterically.
“Some things never change,” he said with a grin.
They pulled up to her family’s house a few short minutes later. The screen door burst open, Buster running and jumping on him, lapping him with the most disgusting, wet kisses. Bria’s heart warmed; it was almost like the dog remembered Knox, even in his old age. Knox dropped to his knees, letting Buster maul him with love. A half-a-second later, Katie burst through the door, sprinting off the porch toward them.
“Holy shit!” Knox said, standing up and opening his arms. Katie jumped into them from what seemed like fifty yards away, but he caught her with no problem, swinging her in circles before placing her back down to get a look at her.
“You are so old!” he said. She laughed.
“We miss you around here!” Katie said. “Just because she ran off to the city doesn’t mean you can’t still come around, ya know.”
Knox’s eyes flashed to Bria, then back to Katie.
“That’s true. I’m so sorry I’ve been gone for so long, my dear,” he said, pulling her head into his chest for another hug. “You know, you and Sam were always the real reasons I hung around here, anyways.”
Katie giggled while Bria playfully rolled her eyes.
“Whatever, you two,” Bria said, walking toward the house.
“Me and mom are getting ready to start Dirty Dancing,” Katie said. “You coming?”
“Yeah, I’ll be right in,” Bria said. Knox smiled.
“Is there ever a time when that movie is not on in this house?” he asked.
Bria smiled and felt her cheeks blush. She wasn’t sure why, but each time he brought up something about their past, about their history, it made her stomach do flips. It was like she had assumed he’d forgotten all about it, but with each little quip, he reminded her that he remembered.
“Bye, Knox!” Katie called.
“Bye, Kates!” he said, calling after her. “Wow, she’s so grown up. She looks okay, today.”
“Yeah, today. Hopefully she has more good days than bad this time.” They both stood in the driveway for a minute, both seemingly searching for something to say. “Well, thanks for tonight,” Bria said, breaking the silence.
“Course,” he said. They stood awkwardly for a moment before he looped an arm around her waist and pulled her in for a hug. She inhaled deeply as her cheek rubbed against his chest. Same old Knox. She let the hug last longer than she probably should have, but the truth was, she wasn’t sure when she would see him again. It took her years to run into him this time, and who knew how much longer she’d have to wait now.
SIX
Then, Sophomore Year
She stood in the mirror for a little longer than usual, curling her eyelashes and blending her foundation. Tonight was the six-month anniversary of her first date with Brett, and he was taking her somewhere special. She felt her nerves welling inside of her, but she wasn’t sure why. Okay, that’s not exactly true. She knew why, and it was because of the words Marisol had said at practice that afternoon.
“You two are totally hooking up tonight.” Bria almost spit out her water.
“Wha, what?”
“Oh, come on, B. You’ve been dating for six months, not including all that time you were talking beforehand. That’s practically a decade in high school years. It’s not like it won’t be good,” Christa said.
It became clear early on in their friendship that Christa was very much in tune with her sexuality. A few guys around school were in tune with it, too. Bria swallowed hard, and Mari could see the anxiety that was practically leaking from her pores.
“Calm down, B. If you want to do it, do it. If not, don’t. He likes you. He will understand,” she said. Sweet Mari. She literally had all the answers. She was like a walking guide to high school for Bria. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder if what Christa said was true. Maybe Brett was expecting it.
Later that day, as Bria walked down the long hallway to the locker room, she almost didn’t see Knox a few yards ahead of her. He didn’t see her, either. Instead, his gaze was on something, someone else around the corner. Just then, Christa came out of a classroom. Just as Bria was about to call out to them, Knox wrapped his arms around Christa’s waist, and pushed her up against the lockers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he went in for a long, hard kiss. There had to be tongue. It actually stopped Bria in her tracks. She knew Knox was kissing a new girl every week, on average. But Bria had never actually seen him in action until right now. She didn’t know if she should pretend not to see them and turn back, or keep walking and act as if it didn’t just blow her mind. She couldn’t believe his next catch was Christa. Just as she made up her mind to turn the other way, Christa saw her.
“Hey, B!” Christa called. Damn. Spotted. She turned around.
“Hey, guys!” she said. Knox was wiping his mouth, his eyes down at the floor. “I didn’t, uh, didn’t know you two were. . .”
“Yep,” Christa said, smiling up at Knox. “Looks like your boy can be tamed, after all.”
Bria wasn’t expecting it, but that sentence sent a blow to her heart. Maybe he wasn’t just kissing Christa. Maybe there was more. She always knew there was a possibility of Knox actually entering a stable relationship. But she hadn’t realized until now how much she didn’t want that to happen.
“Well, I gotta get going. AP Chem test tomorrow,” Christa said, standing on her tip-toes to kiss him one more time. Bria looked away.
“What are you up to tonight?” Knox asked her as he pulled his backpack up over one shoulder.
“Brett’s taking me out. It’s our six-month anniversary,” she said, matter-of-factly.
“Oh, wow. Guess you two are pretty serious, hey baby cakes?” he said.
“You sure you want to call me that? I’m not sure if your girlfriend would appreciate it.”
Knox turned around to face her, so that he was walking backwards in front of her.
“She’s not my girlfriend. And you are always my baby cakes.” He didn’t say goodbye, he just turned around and walked away.
Bria heard the knock on her front door as she ran her fingers through her hair just one more time. Katie answered it, excited as always that the town heart
throb was at her door.
“Hey, Brett!” she said.
“Hey, little one. This is for you,” he said, handing Katie a single rose. Ugh. Brett was always so cute with her. Bria felt her heart pounding in her chest. She made her way down the stairs.
“Hey, you,” Brett said, reaching for her hand, and handing her a bouquet of roses. “Happy six months.” She could feel her cheeks flush.
“Hey, yourself. These are so pretty! Sam, can you put this in a vase with some water for me? Mom, dad, we’re heading out!”
Ever since she had started dating Brett, she found herself in a hurry to get out of her house. She couldn’t bear watching her parents engage Brett in some sort of painful small talk.
Dinner was awesome. He took her to Regal’s, the only high-end place in town. They splurged, ordering appetizers and dessert—he was on a high school budget, after all, but it was a special occasion. They held hands practically the whole night, and when they got back in the car after their meal, he turned toward her. He leaned in for a long, drawn out, soul-zapping kiss. She returned the favor. Suddenly, she couldn’t stop her fingers from running through his hair. She couldn’t stop her chest from pushing against his.
“Do you wanna get in the back?” he whispered, in between soft kisses of her neck. She paused. Damn, Christa was right. Bria had to admit, she was curious. But right here, finally in the moment, she realized that she was also one-hundred-percent not ready. No way. She had just recently become comfortable with his hands slipping under her shirt when they made out. She couldn’t imagine taking such a grown-up, permanent step right now, when it took her this long to get to second base.
“Uh, I. . .um,” she stuttered. He stopped kissing her and pulled back.
“What? What is it?” he asked.
“I just, I don’t feel fully. . .ready,” she murmured. He sat back in his seat for a moment, likely fighting off the worst case of blue balls he had ever had.
“Okay,” he said. “That’s cool. Whenever you’re ready.”
She could tell he wasn’t happy, but he wouldn’t dare verbalize it. As she let out a silent sigh of relief, an overwhelming feeling of doubt came over her. She wasn’t sure that she’d actually ever feel ready with Brett. And she didn’t know why.
The ride home was quiet. She turned the radio up a few times, but each time, he turned it down after only a second or two. She asked how practice had been going, and if they were ready for the big game next weekend. One-word answers were all she could seem to pull from him. She guessed his ego was bruised pretty badly at this point. They turned onto Main Street, riding through the busiest intersection in town. Christa’s house sat on the corner. As they pulled up, a car pulled out of her driveway, right in front of them. She’d recognize that old beat-up bumper anywhere.
“Hey, that’s Knox,” she said.
“So it is,” Brett said, still seething about his poor blue balls.
“Honk,” she said.
“What? No.”
She sat back in her seat. He was clearly not in a playful mood tonight. Although, he rarely was when it involved Knox. Pretty much every argument they had somehow involved him. Brett and Knox had been fine before Bria had begun dating him; they were actually friends. But soon after Brett had officially asked her out, something happened. Brett was no longer interested in being friends with Knox, and Bria knew that if Brett had his way, Bria wouldn’t be friends with Knox, either.
“What’s your deal with him, anyways?” Brett asked. Oh, for the love of God. The blue balls had now gone to his head.
“What?”
“You just. . . I don’t know. You just care about him, a lot.”
Bria thought about it. Yeah, she did. And until she had a boyfriend, it had never been a problem. Just as she was about to rebut with her standard “you’re my boyfriend, you’re the one I care about” response, bright lights flashed in her eyes. A car came flying through the intersection, spinning once, then slamming into the passenger side of Knox’s car. The beat-up old Chevy spun through the air before landing on its side in the middle of the intersection. She had never heard such a deafening sound as that of two cars slamming together, one going upwards of forty miles an hour. And time had never seemed to stand so still. All of a sudden, they could smell smoke. Orange flames began to spill out from the passenger side of Knox’s car.
“Jesus,” Brett muttered, his eyes wide. She swore her heart was beating so hard, she could actually hear it. She didn’t even think; she just reacted. She sprung from the car, running into the intersection. Suddenly, she heard a shrieking scream. Christa ran from her driveway, stopping next to Brett’s car, totally hysterical.
“Bria! Don’t!” Brett cried. “You’re gonna get hurt!”
But she didn’t even hear him. Instead, she ran to the car, getting on her hands and knees at the sunroof. She knew that it never fully closed, despite the fact that it was winter. It had broken almost a year before, and he had never bothered to have it fixed. Bria reached her fingers through the small crack of the opening, and pulled as hard as she could. To her relief, it slid back. The asphalt tore at her knees, and the freezing winter air bit at her face. She looked inside. Knox was still in the seat, blood streaming from his head, his body slumped down over the steering wheel.
“Knox!” she called, but nothing. She could hear the sirens in the distance, but the flames were spreading. She reached inside, grabbing hold of his jacket and pulling. He moved the slightest bit, but he was too heavy. Just then, Brett reached in, grabbing onto his other arm.
“On the count of three,” she said. He nodded. But before they could actually count, a burst of flames came dangerously close to Knox’s side, and Brett jumped back.
“Whoa! Get out of there, Bria, we can’t!”
Bria felt Brett grab her arms, but she instinctively shook him off. She put a foot on either side of the sunroof, looped her hands under Knox’s arms, and pulled as hard as she could.
She managed to slide him out of the sunroof, his body limp on top of hers, and his clothes soaked with blood. She heard Brett yelling to the oncoming cars to halt, holding back traffic as she cradled Knox’s head in her hands.
“Oh, Jesus, Knox!” she squealed, surveying the blood matting his hair. She tore off her sweater, rolling it into a ball and placing it on her lap as a makeshift pillow for him.
“Knox! Oh, Knox!” Christa cried, running to Bria and kneeling over him. Finally, the ambulance, and what looked like fifty police cars, arrived. The red and blue flashing lights against the black night sky were starting to make Bria dizzy. She let a paramedic take over caring for Knox, as her whole body began to shake. She was soaked in his blood, but she didn’t care.
“Please, help him! Please!” Christa shouted, tears streaming down her face. Bria barely noticed Brett’s jacket around her shoulders. Several paramedics stopped to see if she had been injured, too. No, Brett explained, it was all Knox’s blood. Bria said nothing, she just stared ahead, watching an EMT do chest compressions on her best friend.
“We have a pulse! Let’s get him in!” the EMT called. Bria stood at the ambulance doors as they slowly lifted the stretcher.
“Is anyone riding with him?” the driver asked.
“I will,” Christa stepped in. Bria didn’t even notice the tears streaming from her eyes. Everyone stopped when Knox moaned.
“B,” he said. He opened one eye, and held out his hand toward her. “Stay.”
Bria paused to look back at Christa and Brett. Both looked dumbfounded. She took Knox’s hand and brushed his hair off his forehead. She turned to Brett.
“My phone is in my purse,” she said. “Can you call his parents? Their home number is in my contacts.”
Brett said nothing, he just nodded.
She climbed into the back of the ambulance as the paramedics rolled in the stretcher. And as Knox’s eyes closed again, she covered her mouth to muffle the sobs she had been holding in.
SEVEN
Now
“Come on, kiddo,” Bria said, putting her foot up on the kitchen island to tie her shoelaces. Katie trudged through the doorway with a sour look on her face.
“Ugh. I don’t feel like it,” she said, slamming her sneakers down on the ground. Her doctor had suggested weekly exercise, “especially when she didn’t feel up to it.” But it was a battle. Bria remembered this from the first time around. Katie was constantly in pain, and even when she wasn’t, her energy levels were slug-like. But Bria and Sam had pushed her to go on brisk walks around the neighborhood, or to the path, or a short bike ride around town. To Katie’s surprise, it had actually made her feel a little bit better. But today, she had just started treatment, and the first dose of her medication only added to her grogginess.
“Come on, you know you’ll feel better after, okay? Here, I’ll tie them for you.”
The Kreery sisters rarely fought. Even Sam and Bria, who were closer in age, didn’t really fight, even as children. They were each other’s best friends. Katie was Bria’s baby, in her mind. They were seven years apart, and Bria had always taken to her like a second mother rather than an older sister. And Katie didn’t seem to mind, for the most part.
They got in Bria’s car and drove a few minutes to the path. The weather was still warm, despite the fact that autumn was now in full effect, so they were making the most of it.
Once they were on the shaded path, Katie’s mood seemed to change immediately. She was laughing and joking, telling Bria about the boy she had met in her Biology 101 class. He had asked for her number so they could study together. But then, Katie explained with sadness in her eyes, she got sick and had to leave school. And Bria watched as Katie’s brain went somewhere else. Probably thinking about the life she could have had, the life so many other people had, if it weren’t for Tommy the tick.
It Goes Without Saying Page 5
