Goodbye is a Second Chance (Sons of Sin Book 1)

by Nola Marie

  “I’ve heard,” she tells me with a nod. “They were doing sound check when I come in. Want to go watch?”

  “Shouldn’t we finish here first?” I ask because I’ve still got to get the clothes steamed.

  “Come on, Josephine,” she says pulling me out of the dressing room. “That takes half an hour. We’ve got plenty of time.”

  We walk the corridor towards the stage. The road crew are moving around still trying to make sure lights are in place and equipment is in its proper location.

  “Testing, testing. Check one, two, three,” Maddox says into the microphone.

  “Come on,” Cami tells me. “Let’s go stand in front.”

  I let her drag me until we’re standing directly in front of the stage. It only takes half a second for Angel to zone in on me. He looks at me with a huge smile on his face as he tunes his bass.

  “I think I see what Danny’s problem was. He’s not the moody, broody member anymore,” Cami whispers in my ear.

  I feel my face heat again, but I have no intention of giving her anything more. “What are you talking about?” I play dumb.

  “You know, you didn’t call and check on me or my dad while I was gone. You didn’t even tell me you finally jumped the sexy bass player’s bones. And here I thought we’d become friends.”

  I can feel my entire body turn red. From my scalp to my toes, tingle with embarrassment. “We are friends,” I tell her. “I just – I didn’t -.”

  She begins to laugh again. This time it’s a loud cackle that has her clutching her stomach. “I’m just teasing you, girl. I know you had a lot going on. And on. And on.”

  I give her a gentle nudge with my shoulder. “When did he tell you?” I smile.

  “When he was trying to figure out this contract bullshit. Why didn’t you tell me about it?” she asks seriously.

  “Honestly? I didn’t realize it wasn’t a typical thing. I just figured it was in addition to what we signed in the office.”

  “I’ve never sat down and read one of the contracts, but I was fairly certain it wasn’t a thing from Levitt’s. Just in case, I pulled our copies and called legal.”

  “The guys already figured out from where it came,” I nod.

  “Yeah, Dane told me when I called him with what I found. What are they going to do?”

  “For now, they’re not going to do anything. They were going to confront him, but then decided to see how it plays out.”

  “Angel agreed to that?” she sounds surprised.

  “Let’s just say it took some convincing from Dane and Maddox,” I chuckle a bit because some convincing was actually a whole lot of convincing.

  I look around the stage area for a second, taking it all in. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them from this angle. I’ve always been in the back or side stage. When I finish my job, I always head back to the bus to get a few minutes of quiet. Seeing them from this point of view, they look larger than life.

  They look like rock stars.

  I see movement from the corner of my eye. I turn to find Chase at the sound board with one side of an earphone to his face. He waves at me with a smile that I return.

  “Girl, you are playing with fire,” Cami tells me quietly.

  I turn my attention to her in confusion. “What?”

  “You are going to cost that kid his job,” she tells me then nods her head toward the stage where Angel is shooting daggers at Chase.

  “Great,” I mutter.

  “What did you expect? He’s not going to want other guys getting friendly with you, Josephine. I mean have you seen you?”

  “That’s not going to work for me,” I tell her. “He can’t tell me who to talk to or scare away someone that talks to me.”

  “You’re right, and that’s a conversation you need to have with him. Before you do, though, think about this. Suppose the roles were reversed. How would you feel to look up and see some girl smiling and waving at him?”

  I scowl. I’ve already lived that life. My entire youth was spent watching girls throw themselves at him. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.”

  “Until you can talk to him, why don’t you keep the – friendliness to a minimum?”

  I give her a nod of understanding. I’m not sure how I feel about this reversal of roles. I have always been the one to watch the girls fawn over him. I’ve always been the one to feel punched in the gut every time he would smile back.

  He’s already told me he can’t stand the thought of me on the bus with all of those guys. He openly admitted he’s always been jealous. I guess it just never occurred to me that he meant it. That he ever felt a tenth of what I felt every time a girl would start smiling and flirting with him.

  I guess it never occurred to me because, in high school, it never happened. But I remember the way he would look at Maddox and Ryder when they flirted innocently with me. I remember that pissed off look when he saw Chase with me a few nights ago. The night we finally put it all out there thanks to my sleep deprivation and inebriation.

  Yes, we will talk. I will reassure him that he has nothing to worry about, but I need to be sensitive to his concerns because I know how it feels. I know if I saw a girl sidle up to him right now, I’d want to throw up. I also know it’s going to happen and it’s going to happen a lot, the more recognition they get.

  We sit through the sound check, listening as they fine tune everything. They, of course, sound amazing as they work through their set list with each other, Chase, and the other sound guys. They look phenomenal too as they stand up there like the rock stars they’ve become.

  For a minute, I’m taken back to a time long ago. To the day Angel got his first guitar. I remember it so well, the way his face lit up like he’d just been handed the keys to the world. I remember watching him for hours on end as he strummed and tweaked, teaching himself how to play. His parents offered lessons, but he wanted to figure it out on his own like Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix. I watched his thirteen-year-old fingers bleed, literally, as he practiced for hours every day. I remember when he bought a bass to learn because John Paul Jones was the backbone of Led Zeppelin. He never liked the bass as much as the guitar but when he started piecing together music on his computer, I understood his need.

  I watch his intensity in comparison to Ryder’s laid-back style and Maddox’s manic moves. Then Dane in the back with steady determination. They work because they balance. I listen as they take different parts of the songs. Maddox in the lead on nearly every song with Ryder taking the lead on occasion, but I can hear Angel’s raspy tenor in the background.

  I always told him he sounded like Steve Perry. He would laugh. He knew I loved Journey, but they weren’t really his style. After I learned more about them, I told him he sounded a little like Kerry Livgren. He didn’t mind that so much.

  We sit through the entire hour-long sound check. By the time it’s finished, I feel like I’ve witnessed something special. I’ve seen them perform but something about being on the audience side of thing made it different somehow.

  The guys hand their instruments off then come to the edge of the stage. Angel waves me over with a finger. I go without a second thought. Hell, I’m not sure I even had the first thought. It is just an automatic thing. I reach the edge of the stage where he sits. Looking up to him like he’s sitting on the throne of his kingdom.

  All of them, truthfully, look like four kings and their kingdom is the stage. It’s just a damn shame it has taken them so long to get here.

  “You look good up there,” I tell him softly. “You look like you belong there.”

  He lets out a low hum as he observes me. I’m not sure why, but suddenly I don’t feel worthy of his stare. I don’t know if it’s from watching him on stage or the trip down memory lane bringing up old insecurities, but I fidget just a little.

  “Don’t do that,” he tells me. “Don’t go back there, Josie.”

  “How do you do that?” I ask him with genuine curiosity. At one time, no one knew me
better than Angel, but I’m not that person anymore. Or I wasn’t.

  “I don’t do anything. I just know that look. The look of the Josie from when we were kids,” he tells me as he cups my face. “You told me you became stronger without me, and damn if I haven’t noticed. You’re so different that I don’t recognize you at all at times. In the best way. Don’t go back to that insecure girl now that you’re with me. I never wanted you to feel insecure around me. I tried to make sure you didn’t.”

  I give him a shy smile. He’s right. I’m not that girl but, “Kind of hard to feel like a strong sexy woman when you’re up there looking like you own the world.”

  He jumps from the stage to stand in front of me then lifts me to where he was sitting. “That’s how it should be. You, looking down to me, not the other way around.”

  “I hate how much I missed you,” I tell him because today or then, he’s still the same boy – man doing everything he can to let me know I’m more than worthy. It took me a long time to believe that. Unfortunately, that wasn’t something he could do for me. But he’s right, I can’t go back to that girl. I can’t be with him and be that girl again. I can’t revert because that’s not who I want to be. “And I love how well you know me. Now get back up here. We belong side by side not one under the other’s heel.”

  He grins at me as he hoists himself back up. He sits beside me as Maddox sits to the other side. I watch as Dane helps Cami on the stage.

  “What did you think of it, Beautiful?” Maddox asks. “Sound okay from where you were sitting?”

  “It sounded perfect,” I tell him with a wide smile. “You guys belong here.”

  “I fucking hope so, Sweetheart,” he grins.

  “Could you stop flirting with my girl?” Angel asks teasingly.

  “I could,” Maddox grins, “but I won’t.”

  “I’m going to check a few other things,” Chase calls out from the sound board. “You guys good for now?”

  “Yeah, we’re good,” Maddox answers.

  “All right. See you in a few hours,” he smiles. “See ya, Josephine.”

  A low rumble vibrates Angel’s chest. I lean over, turning his face to mine, and kiss him. It only takes a breath for the tension in him to evaporate as he wraps his arms around me. After a few heated seconds he pulls back. “I’m not complaining but what was that for?” he asks with a grin.

  “That was to remind you that guys can be nice to me and I can be nice to them but no one else gets that.”

  “I’m going to have a hard time with this, you know,” he admits. “I’ve been having a hard time since the day you walked onto our set.”

  “I get it,” I tell him honestly. “I’ve had a hard time with it since we were thirteen. I realized at Ryder’s party that I would always have a hard time. Guess I should’ve known that beforehand though.”

  He rubs the back of his neck in discomfiture. “Ah, Josie, that. I never touched her. I didn’t ask her to do that either.”

  “You already told me. It doesn’t matter. You saw plenty yourself.”

  “Yeah. It was hard not to break the bartender’s neck,” he chuckles darkly.

  “When you said our second chance was saying goodbye, it was saying goodbye to all of that bullshit, right?”

  “Yeah, Baby. All of it,” he grins bumping me with his shoulder. “You’ve said a lot of goodbyes lately, haven’t you?”

  I exhale a strained breath. “I don’t regret the decisions I’ve made the last few months, but it hasn’t been easy. I couldn’t have done it if I’d stayed in L.A. Mom was not going to let me alone.”

  “You never wanted that life, Josie,” he reminds me.

  It’s easy to forget that he knows me, or, at least, he knew me. He knew my dreams. He also knew I was going to do exactly what was expected of me from my parents.

  “As strong as I told myself I became without you and as much as I rebelled, I couldn’t break away from their plan,” I say sadly. “I’m twenty-eight years old with a degree in architecture and I’m on a rock tour as an assistant to the wardrobe assistant.”

  “But you’re finally doing what you want. I hate the shit that your dad’s schemes are putting you through, but I can’t be sorry. If something hadn’t come along to push you out of L.A., you would never have finally heard me out.”

  “Why did you leave L.A., Angel?” I ask him because he knows why I left, but I have no idea why he left.

  “If I tell you, promise you won’t read more into it or shut down on me,” he tells me while grabbing my hand.

  My stomach clenches at his words. “I promise,” I say with a hard swallow.

  “I was coming home to propose to Erica,” he tells me watching me carefully from the corner of his eye. I know now why he grabbed my hand because when I go to move away, he squeezes tighter and pulls me closer. “You promised,” he reminds me.

  I know I did but hearing her name or thinking of them together still hurts. I hope it’s not always like this. I hope, now that I know the truth, I can finally let go.

  I choke back my habitual reaction of closing myself off and nod at him to continue. “I called out. She didn’t answer. I walked to the bedroom to find Jason fucking her on my bed. I pulled him off of her, beat the shit out of him, and threw them both out completely naked. Then Jake called, asking me to help out his band so I jumped on it.”

  I close my eyes and work to keep my reactions rational and logical. If I feel this too much, then my reaction will be completely emotional. But there is one question I need the answer to. I can’t look at him when I ask, and it comes out much more pathetic sounding than I want it to. “Angel, did you love her?”

  He grips my chin forcing me to look him in the eyes, all stormy gray and blue. “Did you love Robert?”

  I don’t even have to think about the answer to that question. “No. I was comfortable with him, but I didn’t love him.”

  “There’s your answer, Baby. I never loved Erica. Looking back, I don’t even think I liked her very much, but she was safe, I guess. She knew me and I knew her. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

  “But you were going to ask her to marry you?” I try to argue.

  “And you were engaged to Robert,” he counters with a grin. I wince at his use of the past tense. My expression makes his face fall. “What was that, Josie?” he gestures to my face.

  “Technically I’m still engaged,” I tell him.

  This time he pulls away. His face contorts into anger. “What the fuck do you mean technically you’re still engaged?”

  Everyone around us gets quiet, obviously hearing his outburst. Maddox and Ryder look our way for a second then turn around in an attempt at be subtle. Cami, who’s been playing around on the drums with Dane, stops her tapping.

  “I mean when everything happened, I just left L.A. I didn’t tell him I was leaving or give him his ring back or anything,” I say looking down at my hands.

  “Are you still talking with him?” he growls.

  That’s an easy answer to give. “No. I blocked his number. Mom was trying to get me to come home for him and Dad for a while, but she’s stopped.”

  “And the ring? Where is it?”

  “On the dresser in his apartment,” I answer honestly.

  “Hasn’t he been released on bail?” he asked, his tone has noticeably calmed and he’s not standing over me anymore. He’s in a crouched position next to me.

  “I guess so. I know my dad has been. I assume someone posted for him as well,” I turn to face him crossing my legs one over the other. “What are you getting at?”

  He gives me a small chuckle. “Josie, Baby, if he doesn’t get that the wedding is off then he is a fucking idiot.”

  “I never told him anything,” I argue. “I just left.”

  “The leaving part is usually the first indication to most people. I know you think you need to make a formal declaration. You wouldn’t be you otherwise, but, trust me, he knows you aren’t together anymore.”


  “How long ago did you and Erica breakup?” I ask, nibbling on my bottom lip a bit.

  “It’s been years, Josie. Years since I saw her or spoke to her.”

  I look around the stage noticing how the guys and Cami are trying not to be obvious with their eavesdropping. Laughter bubbles up from me. Angel looks at me curiously. “What’s so funny?”

  “It seems like we don’t know what behind closed doors means,” I nod to the four of them.

  He looks over his shoulder to see Ryder and Maddox in the same position as earlier, pretending to be in deep conversation and Cami still pretending to get her drum lesson from Dane but she hasn’t so much as tapped a cymbal in several minutes. He turns back to me dropping his head as his shoulders shake with silent laughter. “We were never good at discreet.”

  My grin spread even wider. “Hope you guys enjoyed the show,” I call out to the interlopers over his shoulder.

  The boys have been playing for nearly two hours. Cami and I have given them each two new shirts since they started. I can’t even explain how each show is better than the last. Each night their musical prowess is more electric and their presence more magnetic.

  Liam told them after the Santa Fe show that their sales have well surpassed Dirty Minds. He even said the label is talking about an international tour since their overseas sales have skyrocketed as well.

  “Did Ryder just throw another shirt into the audience?” Cami asks beside me with a groan.

  I give her a grinning nod. “They started that the night I fell asleep.”

  “I still can’t believe you slept on that joke of a bus sofa,” she laughs.

  “Would you have slept on those sheets without washing them first?” I challenge teasingly.

  “You won’t see me back in that bed,” she tells me wrinkling her nose. “Not without a new mattress. You should’ve stayed on the band’s bus.”

  “It wasn’t the most comfortable of situations at the time,” I say laughing at myself.

  “Dammit,” she huffs. “There go Maddox and Angel’s shirts. We’re going to have to go shopping for them soon.”

  “At least the crowd seems to like it,” I grumble as I hear the women begins screaming their names.