No Regrets: A Novel of Love and Lies in World War II England (The Thornton Trilogy Book 1)

by Payne, Mary Christian

  “Mon Dieu, Mon Dieu! Oh, my sweet sister. How unimaginable. So this is how Chloe came to be?”

  “Yes. Of course I don’t ever want her to know. Madame Violette suggested that I change my surname, acting as if I were married, and wear a ring on my left hand.” Elise held out her hand. “I still do.” “So, then, that’s what I did. I’m now Elise de Baier. That’s the name on Chloe’s birth certificate. Everyone in Thornton-on-Sea thinks I was married, and that my husband was killed at Dunkirk – that I was pregnant when I left France. Of course, I truly was pregnant when I left, although I didn’t know it. So, that part is true enough.”

  “Poor Elise. Did you stay in Brighton until Chloe was born?”

  “Yes. Madame Violette made arrangements for me to deliver in hospital. I had the best care. When I returned to Maison de Violette I realized, however, that no matter how kind everyone was, Chloe needed to be raised in a better environment. I had no idea what I’d do. Then, the best friend I’d made there, Giselle Dupris, presented an offer I couldn’t refuse. She said she wanted to find a decent job and quit the life she’d been living. She wanted me to share a cottage with her, in a village somewhere far removed from Brighton. So we came here. She got a job as lady’s maid to Lady Celia Thornton at Highcroft Hall. I packed up Chloe and moved here too. We were able to lease this cottage, and it’s been wonderful. The people are gracious and kind. They’ve been very welcoming. Naturally, I was stunned when I learned that Giselle was working for the mother of Sloan Thornton, the man who’d visited our farmhouse on that fateful day. He wasn’t here, obviously. He was RAF – based in North Africa. It’s all so complex. I learned of his engagement to a girl named Anne Whitfield – a Duke’s daughter. It infuriated me that he’d made such overt comments to me about soulmates and the like, when he had a lovely girl waiting at home for him. “

  “This does get more and more complicated. Can we take a pause while I refill my tea, Elise?”

  “Yes, certainly. I’m sorry. It is a long tale. But I want you to understand all that’s happened, and where things stand now.”

  “I want to know every bit of it,” her brother answered. “I’ll just be a second.” He went to the kitchen and refilled his cup. Returning, he settled back in, ready to hear the rest of the story. “All right, Elise, where were we? So, you found out that Lord Thornton was engaged to someone else, when he made overtures to you.”

  “Yes. That’s the gist of it. I didn’t care, except I thought him a terrible cad. Eventually I met his fiancé, Anne. She ended up taking French lessons from me. One day we drank wine, and I’m afraid it loosened my tongue. I told her the truth about my not being married, the Nazi brutes – all of it. She was very sympathetic. She knew I’d met Sloan, but only that I had bandaged his wound. I didn’t say anything about the conversation about my supposedly being his soulmate. But, he’d actually written a letter telling her about me. I was stunned.”

  “But, he scarcely knew you. Also, Elise, was it wise to tell her your story? Do you trust her?”

  “Yes, I do. She’s a lovely person. She and Sloan broke off their engagement. Actually he asked her to release him from the commitment. He said he loves her like a sister, but should never have proposed. He’d proposed the night before he left for the war.”

  “Many men made that mistake. War is a dreadful thing, and it also makes people more impetuous. There’s great romance associated with the idea of going off to fight and leaving someone you love behind.”

  “I know. It’s not unusual. Anyway, to make a long story shorter, Anne and I are good friends now. She doesn’t harbour resentment towards Sloan, and now he’s home, they’ve pledged to be friends forever. She’s actually very keen on getting Sloan and me together.”

  “She must be very special. He’s a lucky man. If that had been me, the scorned woman would have had my head,” he laughed.

  “I know. But, she’s been very nice about everything.”

  “Are you involved with Sloan, then? Don’t tell me you believe in this soulmate business?”

  “Not especially. But I do like him a lot. We’re friends. Whether it goes further, I don’t know. At first I thought he would be repulsed if he knew my story. But apparently Anne told him everything, and he says it doesn’t matter – that it will never be spoken of again.”

  “Well, he certainly sounds like a compassionate sort. Of course, none of what happened was your fault Elise. Why do you think he, or anyone else, would be repulsed? Repulsed at the Nazis’ behavior, but not at anything you’ve done.”

  “Yes, but I can see where a man might find me disgusting to be with. I feel soiled and unworthy of a decent man.”

  “Elise! None of it was your fault. You need to stop such thinking.”

  “That’s what Sloan says, too. That’s really the only thing he said about it. He asked if anything about my story was my fault, and I replied that it wasn’t. That was all that mattered to him.”

  “Elise, are you in love with him?”

  “I don’t know, Josef. I’m afraid to give my heart to anyone. Men frighten me. And I have Chloe to think about. I’m confused, to be honest. I think I could love him, if it weren’t for everything that’s happened to me. I’m terribly afraid to trust.”

  “I’d like to meet Sloan Thornton. I could form a better opinion about whether I believe he’s trustworthy.”

  “I fully intend for you to meet him. That’s one reason I wanted to tell you all of this.”

  “So, that’s settled. Now, it’s your turn to hear about my five years away from you.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  They chatted the entire morning. It was wonderful to be able to speak with someone who had known her since birth. Elise suddenly realized how stressful it had been having no one with whom she could be honest. So few people knew her entire story. Now that Giselle was gone, Anne was really the only person she could speak openly with, although Sloan, too, knew of the trauma she’d endured. She found the thought of discussing anything to do with her assault extremely uncomfortable. To talk openly to Sloan about it would be embarrassing. Although he supposedly knew the entire story, she was glad he understood her reluctance to discuss it. He didn’t seem particularly eager to discuss it himself.

  Elise and Josef moved on to talk about what had happened to him during their long separation. She was astounded to learn that he’d endured his own romantic heartache. After they’d parted, and he’d gone to England, Josef immediately joined a group of French Resistance émigrés. They were assembled and became a squadron in the RAF, ready to fight against the Axis Forces. Josef was delighted that he’d been allowed to participate in action directed at the enemy who’d taken over his homeland. He was in England for a short time before being sent to Sicily. There, he flew sorties into and out of Tunisia, bringing supplies and aiding the Allies who were fighting for control of Tunisia and Algeria. While in Sicily, Josef met an Italian woman. Her name was Daniela Carissa. He fell madly in love with her. They engaged in a torrid love affair and planned on marrying. She was beautiful, refined, well-educated and kind-hearted. He was absolutely certain she was the one with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life. But during a terrible bombing raid, the old palace, in which she lived, was almost completely destroyed. Daniela was killed, along with all of her household. Josef’s heart was broken. For the rest of the war, he never allowed himself to look at another woman. He still hadn’t recovered from the loss.

  Elise felt terribly sorry for her beloved brother. Josef had always been so level-headed and had never had a serious romantic interest. So, she was well-aware of how unusual his involvement with the Italian woman had been. She knew that only time would heal the wound. But it made her more adamant about persuading him to stay in Thornton-on-Sea, where he’d have her love and support. She also knew his presence would be a positive influence for Chloe, who needed a father figure in her life. While it wouldn’t be a father, having an uncle would be very good for her.

  Josef had
been wounded twice during the war – once seriously enough to have been hospitalized for several months. But he’d recuperated fully and described himself as healthy and strong. He’d lost many friends during his time served and, like his sister, had learned to be somewhat guarded with his feelings. Elise hoped peace would bring back the old twinkle in his eyes and a desire to find someone who could fill the ache in his heart. Josef was a handsome man. Although he’d lived in France practically all of his life, he had the distinctly Russian appearance of his forefathers. There was a slight Slavic slant to his eyes, and they were a very light blue. His hair, on the other hand, was dark chestnut-brown, and his colouring was olive. He was a large man, unlike many of his French counterparts, who tended to be of smaller stature. Strong and muscular, he gave off a fine impression of masculinity. Yet he had a kind mouth, with lips that were soft and sensitive. Elise had always adored him. She knew Josef was attractive to women, but he was very choosy when it came to settling on just one. Having to care for his little sister, from the time they’d left Russia, had always been foremost in his mind, and he’d never let other thoughts interfere with that responsibility. Now Elise was grown, and she hoped she could repay the attention he’d given her by helping Josef along the road to his own happiness.

  After chatting through the early afternoon, she showed her brother the bedroom she planned to make into his own. He was pleased with the charming cottage. Elise told him to have a lie-down, while she tidied-up and got ready to collect Chloe from school. He was sound asleep when she silently left for the school building, only two lanes over from ‘No Regrets’. She arrived just as school was being dismissed. Chloe ran down the steps, into her arms.

  “Mummy! Did my uncle come? Is he at home now? I want to meet him, she exclaimed.

  “He did come, Chloe. He’s just as anxious to meet you. He was very surprised when I told him about you. He’s already seen your photo and thinks you look a lot like me.”

  “Everybody says that,” Chloe giggled. “Is Uncle Josef going to stay with us forever?”

  “I don’t know about ‘forever,’ sweetheart. But for a long time, I hope. We’ll have to persuade him not to leave.”

  “I can do that,” she announced confidently. “Aunt Gissy used to say that I could make anyone do anything, if I talked with my eyes.”

  Elise laughed. “There’s some truth to that. But you mustn’t become dependent on that. Use your power only for good things.”

  “I would never do anything bad, Mummy. You know I’ve become better and better, as I’ve grown.”

  It was a typical conversation between Elise and her daughter, and it took all of Elise’s self-control not to burst out laughing at Chloe’s adult way of speaking. Her first four years had been spent almost exclusively in the company of adults, and it showed.

  “You’re a very sweet, good girl, Chloe. Mummy loves you so much and is so proud of you.” She leaned down and cuddled her little girl, kissing her on the cheek.

  When they got to the cottage, Josef was out in the front garden, examining the varieties of flowers. He was impressed with Elise’s green thumb. Chloe acted somewhat uncharacteristic, running to him and shouting, “Are you my Uncle Josef?” Then, she hugged him round the legs.

  He laughed and crouched down to her level. “Are you really my niece?” he asked. “You’re so pretty. I’m a very fortunate fellow to have such a beautiful niece.”

  “I’m lucky to have you. I didn’t even know I had an Uncle till Mummy told me. I don’t have any brothers or sisters, and my Aunt Gissy just moved far away, so I’m really glad you’re here.”

  “So am I, Chloe. I’ve missed your Mummy, but I’m so glad to know she had you. I’ll be staying with you for a while, and perhaps I’ll even move to this village. Would you like that?”

  “I’d like it very much. Then we could play together and do fun things when Mummy is busy.”

  “We could do that, and we will. Now, let’s go into the cottage. I want to hear all about the things you like to do. You have to tell me everything about yourself.”

  She took him by the hand. “Yes. And I need to learn about you, too. We’ll be very special to each other.”

  ***

  It was a busy autumn. Josef stayed on, and the threesome made a nice little family. Elise made certain he met all of her friends in Thornton-on-Sea, including Sloan. In fact, Sloan paid a visit the second day Josef was there, and they chatted easily. After he left, Josef told Elise he liked him very much. He believed Elise could trust him.

  “He seems like a good man, Elise. I also have to say it’s very apparent that he’s quite taken with you.”

  “Well, I’m not sure. Of course, there was the talk about ‘soulmates.’ Since we’ve become friends, he’s always kind and nice, but I think he feels about me like he does Anne – like I’m a sister.”

  “Then you must not notice the look he gets in his eyes when you enter a room. You’re my sister, Elise, and I love you, but I know I’ve never looked at you like he does. I suspect he’s waiting for a sign from you. He knows the hurt you’ve endured and definitely doesn’t want to frighten you.”

  “Do you really think so? I wouldn’t know how to give a man the sort of sign you’re speaking about.”

  “Dear sister. You’re a beautiful woman. You’re also French. Surely you know how to flirt? All women know how to flirt.”

  “I don’t really think I do. Maybe I’m too honest for that. I’d feel silly. Tell me what I should do.”

  “Just be very nice to him. Raise your eyes and look straight into his. Smile, and let him know you’re happy to see him. Make plans to spend time alone together.”

  “But that’s hard. I have Chloe.”

  “You also have me. I’ll take care of Chloe anytime you want to spend time alone with Sloan. The weather is still warm. Why don’t you suggest a picnic?”

  “Where would we go?”

  “Mon Dieu, Elise. Leave that up to him. He grew up here. The village is named for his family. I’m sure he knows a pretty place for a picnic.”

  Elise smiled at her brother. “Well, you’re just full of good ideas. I just might try it. The next time I see him, I’ll make the suggestion. Now pray that the weather stays warm.”

  Two days later, Sloan rang Elise and said he was going to pop over to the cottage. She seized the moment and, without missing a beat, asked him if he might like to go on a picnic. He sounded delighted at her suggestion and immediately said he would love it. He even told her not to bother with preparation of food. Instead, he said he’d have Ruth, at Highcroft Hall, prepare a nice basket for them. Elise promised to contribute a bottle of wine. The moment she hung up, she ran to tell Josef. He laughed and picked her up in his arms, twirling her around, as he used to do when she was a child.

  “There, you see. I was right. I’ll bet he’s on cloud nine. He’s been waiting for you to suggest this sort of outing. I’ll take Chloe to the park and stop to get you a bottle of fine wine. You run upstairs and change into something very romantic. What time is he coming?”

  “Half past twelve” she replied.

  “Good, that allows plenty of time.”

  Josef called for Chloe, who came running from the garden. “Come on, little niece. We’re going shopping, and afterwards, I’m taking you to the park.”

  Elise scampered up the stairs and pawed through her cupboard, searching for the perfect, picnic frock. It had been such a long time since she’d done something so young and carefree. Finally, she settled on a yellow cotton dress, with cap sleeves, in a fashionable style with a full skirt and a pretty white sash at the waist. It was very feminine. There was white ribbon laced throughout the bodice and hemline, which fell to mid-calf. She also found a darling hat which she’d bought on a summer day in Paris, years before. There was nothing passé about it. It, too, had a white ribbon band, and the ends trailed down her back. It was made of straw and looked like the sort of hat one would wear on a picnic. Pretty yellow slippers comple
ted the outfit. She washed her hair and fluffed the curls with a towel, letting them dry naturally. Debating over how to wear it, she finally decided to pull it back on top, secure it with a clip and allow the curls to fall loosely around her shoulders. Elise was twenty-seven years old, but she resembled a bright, young thing, not past twenty.

  Josef returned and whistled when he set eyes on her.

  “You look radiant, Elise. If you aren’t certain you’re in love with Sloan, I can verify that you are. I’ve never seen such roses in your cheeks.”

  She laughed, but didn’t deny his accusation. He presented her with two bottles of Pouilly-Fuisse.

  “Mon Dieu! You went for the finest, Josef. If we drink two bottles, who knows what could happen? I think I’ll only take one.”

  “All right. We’ll save the other for the announcement of your engagement.”

  “Whoa,” she exclaimed, as she put her hand in front of his face. “That’s not going to happen,” she said, shaking her head. “At least not now,” she added, with a charming smile. She straightened her dress, and smoothed her curls when she heard Sloan’s car stop in front of the cottage.

  “Well, here he is, sweet sister. Now, remember to let him know you care for him. Mon Dieu, Elise. Remember, you’re French!”

  “I’ll try, Josef. I’ll try.”

  ***

  Sloan took her to a beautiful spot on the grounds of Highcroft Hall. It was near an orchard, and the peaches hung golden in the sunlight, ready to be picked. They spread out a picnic blanket on the lush green lawn, and sat on it, side by side. Sloan had a wicker hamper. He set it on the ground in front of them, unclasped it, and displayed a beautiful array of food; cucumber sandwiches cut into small rounds; chicken salad in small croissants; liver pate; brie cheese; water biscuits; French potato salad, with parsley and dill, and small lemon tarts. The top of the hamper contained plates, silverware and crystal wine glasses. The wine had been chilled and was a perfect temperature. Sloan uncorked it and poured them each a glass. Both said they’d like to enjoy a glass of wine before eating, so Sloan leaned back against the trunk of a large, old tree, and Elise spread her skirts round her, sitting comfortably on the blanket. It was so peaceful, and at first they simply enjoyed the lovely day, feeling no need to rush into conversation. Sloan looked especially handsome. He was dressed in casual, grey slacks and a crème-coloured, linen shirt. His light brown hair had grown longer since returning from the war, and it fell onto his forehead. Little wisps blew softly in the breeze. His stunning blue eyes nearly matched the intense blue of the sky. Elise’s heart beat faster when she looked at him, fully aware that if she were honest with herself, she cared for him deeply. It was truly the first time in her life she’d felt this way. She couldn’t help but wonder if his statement, in 1940, about soulmates, didn’t have validity. The more time she’d spent with him over the past months, the more she’d come to realize that they seemed to complement each other in every way.