by Marta Perry
Her heart thudded against her ribs. Was he talking about her sisters? Or about his feelings for her?
“The unimportant things get swept away,” she said, trying to sound normal. “Only the important remains.”
“That’s exactly it.” His voice seemed to have gone deeper. “Now I really want to talk to you about one of those important things.”
Her ability to speak had gone entirely, and she could only nod.
“Ach, this isn’t how I wanted to do it.” He thumped his cast on the floor and then grimaced. “We should be out in the moonlight, taking a buggy ride, looking at the river, maybe. Not stuck in the kitchen with my foot in a cast.”
Somehow his frustration wiped away her shyness. She looked up at him, lips trembling on a smile. “Does the place matter so much?”
“No.” His expression cleared. “What matters is you and me. Susanna, you must know how I feel. I love you. I want you to marry me. Yes or no?”
A laugh bubbled up inside her because he sounded as if he were making a deal. But it was Nate, and that was how he thought. He loved her. He wanted her.
She tilted her face back to look up into his eyes. “I love you, Nate. So my answer is yes.”
Nate’s face broke into a smile, and then he pulled her close and his lips found hers.
There was nothing tentative or questioning about his kiss this time. He claimed her with his lips, gentle and demanding all at the same time, and she slid her arms around him, feeling the strong, flat muscles of his back under the smooth cotton of his shirt. He was hers, and she was his, and they belonged together.
An instant later she was glad she had hold of him, because the crutch slipped out of his control and went clattering to the floor. He nearly went after it, but she held him close until he could brace himself against the counter.
“All right?”
He grinned, laughter filling his eyes. “Ja, but this is no place for smooching. Leave the dishes. Let’s go sit on the sofa where I can get my arms around you properly.”
Her heart singing, Susanna retrieved the crutch and followed him into the living room. He settled on the sofa, set the crutches aside, clasped her hand, and pulled her down next to him.
“This is better,” he said, and kissed her again.
Susanna gave herself to his kiss. This was the taste of belonging, of being loved and valued and wanted for herself, and she loved it.
Eventually her mind started working again. “Is this why your mamm went out tonight? Did you tell her you were going to propose?”
“You thought that was funny, didn’t you?” His eyes crinkled. “Ja, she and my sister came up with the plan between them. They’re both wonderful happy at the idea of having you in the family.”
“I can’t believe Dora didn’t give any hint of it.” Susanna’s cheeks grew warm at the thought that Dora and Donna had known what Nate intended.
“Now, let’s get down to business.” He snuggled Susanna close to his side. “We need to make plans.”
“Always a businessman,” she teased, and felt his chuckle deep in his chest.
“Ja, I am. If you’re agreeable, I want to talk to the bishop and make plans to get married as soon as reasonably possible. After all, we already have a home.”
That had a lovely sound. “We will be happy, living here.” This house was starting to feel like home to her in a way the small apartment never had.
“You won’t mind that Mamm is living here?”
“Of course not. I love Dora.” She wouldn’t expect anything else. This was Dora’s home, too.
“Maybe at the end of next month,” Nate said, and it was obvious that his thoughts had moved on. “Or early November. I’m sure the bishop will agree. We don’t need a lot of fuss over a wedding. We’re not youngsters.”
“We’re not exactly old,” she pointed out. Of course Nate had been married before. He’d been the passionate young groom once, with Mary Ann. Naturally he’d think in more practical terms now.
Susanna tried not to mind. She was marrying the man she loved who loved her, something she’d never thought would happen. It would be foolish to quibble because he didn’t speak of their wedding in romantic terms.
“Young enough but not too young,” he said, giving her a squeeze. “That’s the best part of life, ain’t so? The business is already established, and we’re only a step away from the store.”
She nodded. “And not far from the shop, either.”
Suddenly there was tension in the arm that encircled her shoulders. “I . . . I need to talk to you about the shop.”
The unusual hesitation in his voice told her something was wrong. She drew away, turning so that she could see his face more clearly. “What about the shop? Is there a problem with the mold removal?”
“In a way.” He wasn’t looking directly at her, alarming her. “It’s not just the mold. There are all kinds of regulations in force now that didn’t exist when the building was put up. Every day it seems there’s something else the government says has to be done.”
She found herself wanting to put her hands over her ears, but she was a grown woman. She couldn’t do that no matter how little she wanted to hear something. “What are you saying, Nate?”
He planted his palms on his thighs, a firm gesture that suggested he had something important to say. “The town is offering to buy up those buildings down along the creek. They want to put up a levee and turn the rest into a park. Given the expense and trouble of fixing up the building, I . . . well, I’ve accepted their offer.”
Susanna could only stare at him. “I can’t believe it. What about the shop? It’s your mamm’s and mine. You can’t just sell it.”
“I know you loved the shop, Susanna. But I explained to Mamm, and I think she understands. The building isn’t worth saving.”
So easy. Just as if it was any business deal. “How can you get rid of something that means so much to me?”
He reached for her hand, his forehead wrinkling, but she pulled it away. “I’ve explained it badly, but you have to understand. This is the best answer. And once we’re married, you won’t need the shop.”
“Won’t need it?” She felt as if she were looking at a stranger.
“I don’t mean you shouldn’t work if you want to,” he said hastily. “You can help me in the store all you want. It will belong to both of us.”
Susanna could only stare at him. Did he really not understand something so basic to her? She’d helped build the business. She’d put her heart into it, and he simply wanted to discard it.
“Komm, Susanna.” He reached for her hand, but again she pulled it away. His face seemed to freeze. “Anyone would think the shop means more to you than I do.”
She shook her head slowly. “If you don’t understand something that means so much to me, how can you say you love me?”
“Susanna, that’s foolishness. Selling the building is just business. It has nothing to do with my feelings for you.”
“Business isn’t everything.” Her head was throbbing, her heart aching. She thought of what Chloe had said about people sharing values. Not only didn’t Nate understand what the shop meant to her; he wasn’t even willing to try.
“I’m sorry, Nate.” The words came out of a throat gone dry. “This isn’t going to work. I can’t stay here. I’m going to my sister’s.”
“Susanna, stop. We have to talk about it. You can’t just walk away.”
She heard him fumbling for the crutches, but she didn’t wait. She couldn’t keep talking about it. He’d said he loved her, but he didn’t understand the first thing about her. Nobody could build a marriage on such a basis.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The
knock on Chloe’s door took her by surprise, and she glanced around the small living room. Her computer was on top of a couple of stacked books on t
he coffee table, she’d been organizing papers on the sofa, and manila file folders filled the only chair. She couldn’t even claim to have been getting any work done, since she’d been sitting staring into space, thinking about Seth.
She opened the door a few inches, prepared to make short work of her visitor, and then swung it wide when she saw that it was Susanna.
“Come in.” She clasped her sister’s hand and pulled her into the apartment. “Excuse the mess. I didn’t—”
The rest of the sentence was lost when she had a good look at Susanna’s face. Lips pressed together to hold back sobs, eyes brimming with tears . . . this wasn’t a casual visit.
“Susanna, what is it?”
The tears overflowed. Susanna put her hands to her face, her shoulders shaking. She must have suppressed her emotion by sheer force of will until she got here, and now the dam had burst.
“It’s all right. You’re here now.” Chloe closed and locked the door. Putting her arm around Susanna’s waist, she led her to the sofa.
“Here, sit down.” She cleared the sofa by the simple expedient of sweeping all the papers onto the floor, where they drifted across the worn beige carpet.
Susanna sank onto the sofa and bent over, her face buried in her palms. Sobs ripped through her so that her whole body shook.
Chloe stood watching her helplessly for a moment. Then she sat down next to her and gathered Susanna into her arms. “It’ll be all right. You’re safe here. You can cry as much as you need.” She rocked back and forth, rubbing Susanna’s back with vague memories of Granddad doing so when she had nightmares as a child.
Whatever had happened, Susanna clearly needed comforting. Chloe had never seen anyone cry so hard. It frightened her to see calm, sensible Susanna lose control this way. Even when the flood was surging toward them, even when Nate had had his accident, she’d never fallen apart.
There was no point in trying to get any sense out of her until the storm was over. Chloe sat holding her, waiting it out.
Finally the sobs lessened. She could feel the moment at which Susanna became aware of what she was doing, could sense the embarrassment that seized her.
Susanna drew back, trying to hide a face blotchy and swollen from weeping. “I’m sorry. I . . .” She didn’t seem able to go any further.
“You’re going to be all right.” Chloe rose, helping her up. “Come on. The bathroom is right through the bedroom. I want you to go splash some cold water on your face and bathe your eyes. I’ll make a pot of tea, and then we’ll talk.”
She had to guide her sister’s stumbling steps at first, but once they reached the bedroom, Susanna managed to attempt a smile. “I’m all right. Denke.”
Chloe switched on the bathroom light and left her alone. If she were in Susanna’s place, she’d want a few minutes to collect herself.
Chloe went quickly back to the minuscule kitchen that occupied one end of the living room. She put the kettle on the stove, filled a teapot with hot water, and got out a packet of the herbal tea Susanna had made herself. That had been one of the first steps in their friendship—the day Susanna and Dora had invited her into the back room at the shop for a cup of Susanna’s special tea.
They’d come a long way since then. She was very afraid she knew what had so devastated Susanna that she’d come seeking shelter with her sister.
By the time Susanna came out of the bedroom, the tea was brewed. Chloe carried a tray with teapot and cups to the coffee table, and then had to set it down so she could move the computer.
“Sorry this is all such a mess. I was trying to sort out some things.” That wasn’t really too far from the truth. She’d been trying to sort out her feelings for Seth.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have burst in on you.” Susanna’s voice still had a tendency to waver.
“Who else would you come to but your sister?” Chloe poured tea into a mug and passed it to Susanna. “This will make you feel better. It’s your special blend. You gave it to me one day at the shop, remember?”
Susanna nodded, eyes shimmering with tears again. But she seemed to have them under control as she sipped. “I’m sor—”
“No, don’t say it again.” Chloe settled down next to her. “You don’t need to be sorry for anything. Just tell me. It’s Nate, isn’t it?”
Susanna nodded. “How did you know?”
“Because only a man can make you feel that miserable.” As she well knew. “What happened? Did he back out of proposing?”
“No, it wasn’t that. He did ask me, and I said yes.” She clutched the mug with both hands, and even so it shook a little. “I was so happy. I never thought love would happen for me.” The tea sloshed dangerously.
Chloe took the mug from her and set it down before it could spill. “That’s just silly. I never met anyone more lovable than you.”
Susanna shook her head, but there was the faintest hint of a smile, gone again as quickly as it came. “We were talking about the future. About getting married, living there in the house, what our life would be like. I mentioned the shop, and that’s when he told me.”
Chloe had begun to think it must be something about the shop. “Go on,” she said, when it seemed Susanna had come to a full stop.
“He’s sold the building to the town. They’re going to tear it down, and some others along the street as well.” Susanna’s tear-drenched eyes were tragic. “He kept saying it was sensible, it was business, it was the best thing to do. He didn’t even think to talk to me before he did it.”
A knife seemed to twist in Chloe’s heart. Like Seth, who hadn’t talked to her before making the biggest decision of his life. But at least he hadn’t tried to defend it as being sensible.
“Is the man blind?” Chloe could safely take out her own anger on Nate. “Doesn’t he understand how much the shop means to you? Didn’t he even think you should have a say in its future?”
“I guess not.” Another tear slipped out, and Susanna wiped it away with a fingertip. “He says he loves me, but how can he love me when he doesn’t understand something so important to me?”
“Oh, Susanna, I’m so sorry.” What else was there to say? Her heart twisted with pain. At least Susanna had found out quickly, before she’d made a mistake that couldn’t be rectified. “I guess we’re the unlucky-in-love sisters. Thank goodness Lydia, at least, has her happy ending.”
Susanna’s laugh was partly a sob. “I just couldn’t stay there a minute longer. I walked out without even a nightdress. What am I going to do?”
Chloe reached out to clasp her hands. “Short-term, you’re going to stay here with me. I’ll lend you a nightshirt and whatever else you need. And tomorrow I think we should give ourselves a day off from responsibility. We’ll go and see Lydia.”
“I . . . I was supposed to work at the store tomorrow,” Susanna began.
“You don’t want to go back there, do you?”
Susanna shook her head.
“Then, don’t. We have to talk to Lydia. She’d be hurt if she thought we hadn’t come to her when we’re in trouble.” And Chloe didn’t know about Susanna, but she could certainly do with some of the maternal comforting Lydia did so well.
To her relief, Susanna nodded. “Ja, we have to see Lydia.” Her face clouded. “My things . . .”
“I’ll stop by the house tomorrow and pack up your belongings. You’ll stay here with me until we figure out what comes next.”
“It’s imposing. You said yourself that the apartment is so small.”
“Not too small to share with my sister. I’ll be glad of the company.” She hesitated, but maybe it would be good for Susanna to remember that she had options for the future. “And don’t forget your legacy from the family.” It had seemed to make an impression when she’d referred to it that way earlier. “You’ll be able to rent or buy your own place and start your business. Half
the stock is rightfully yours. You’re the one who found the craftsmen, and you’re the one who saved much of the stock from the flood. You wouldn’t have to stay here. You could move over to Pleasant Valley and be close to Lydia.”
Susanna put her hand to her forehead. “I guess I could. It’s too much to think about tonight.”
“Let me show you where everything is.” Chloe rose, leading the way back into the bedroom. She pulled a nightshirt from a dresser drawer. “Luckily we’re about the same size. I’ll get out some clean towels.”
It was going to be tight, sharing this tiny apartment with another person, but at least having Susanna to take care of was keeping her mind off her own troubles.
When she came back into the bedroom, Susanna was standing at the table between the twin beds, holding the framed photograph that stood there.
“Is this your . . . our mother?”
Chloe nodded, coming to stand next to her. It wasn’t the posed studio portrait that Gran had tucked away. This was a picture someone else had taken of Diane. She was sitting on a rock, wooded hills behind her. The wind was blowing her hair back from her face, and she was laughing.
Susanna studied the photo. “You have a look of her, I think.”
“Maybe, but so do you and Lydia,” Chloe replied. “Look at the dimple.”
Susanna touched the glass gently. “What would she think of us, if she could see us now?”
The answer came readily, without the need for thought. “She’d be glad that we’re together.”
* * *
An
hour later Nate still sat where Susanna had left him, trying to make sense of what had happened. How had something that seemed so right turned out so wrong?
Susanna was a smart woman. She understood business. So why didn’t she understand his decision? He was only trying to do what was best for their future.
Memory flickered in the dim recesses where he seldom looked. He’d said something like that to Mary Ann once, back when they were first married and he was working around the clock trying to get the business established. It’s for our future, he’d said. But they’d had no future.
