A Heart Decision

by Laurie Kellogg

  “He was invited to speak on the future of finance at some economic symposium. He thought I might like to shop for my trousseau and wedding gown while we’re there.”

  No doubt his friend wanted her to witness the way the entire financial community hung on his every word as if he were Christ delivering the Sermon on the Mount. She already knew how much professional respect BJ received. Still, for some reason, it bothered Luke to have her see Ben in the spotlight, firsthand.

  She should only know what all the guys at their college had called BJ behind his back after one of his dates spread it around campus how much he’d spent on her in a single evening.

  Had Luke been envious of Blow Job Elliott and all the female attention he’d received? Damn straight. However, what he’d felt then couldn’t begin to compare to the insane jealousy he experienced now when he thought about Ben making love to Sabrina.

  “So who are we talking to today?” she asked, yanking him out of his memories.

  “I made an appointment with Jake Manion. He hung out his shingle about a year ago.”

  “The high school football coach? Doesn’t he deal mostly with teens and families?”

  “Yeah, but he has his doctorate in general counseling.” Luke shrugged one shoulder. “We both played quarterback in college. Although, he was good enough to go pro.”

  “You would’ve been, too, if you hadn’t screwed up your shoulder. You still managed to win a heck of a lot of games for your team.”

  “I appreciate your high opinion of my athletic ability, but I doubt I would’ve been drafted. His son, Alex, is playing at Penn State now. I figured, since Jake and I have football in common, I’d be more comfortable talking to him than a stranger.”

  “Makes sense.”

  They drove quietly through the center of Redemption to the country road that led to Jake’s home. The tires crunched the gravel on the road’s shoulder as he turned the car into the Manions’ long wide driveway, which could accommodate at least eight vehicles.

  Jake’s sprawling rancher sat on several acres of property that included a small duck pond behind the house.

  Sabrina pointed to the large Victorian on the opposite side of the shaded road where a big hairy dog slept on the wraparound porch beautifully decorated with pumpkins, cornstalks, and mums. “I didn’t realize Jake lives right across the street from Nick and Sam Riverá.”

  “The name’s familiar, but I don’t—”

  “You met them at my birthday party. Their daughter Dani used to be one of my patients.”

  “Right.” He nodded. Not that he really remembered the couple.

  When they climbed out of the car, a beautiful blonde woman stepped out of the house, carrying an infant on her hip. “You must be Luke. I’m Maggie, Jake’s wife.”

  “Hi. It’s nice to meet you.” He balanced on his crutches, shook her hand, and introduced Sabrina, who gushed over the baby.

  “What’s this sweetie’s name, and how old is she?”

  “This is Katie, also known as Katie-Kat or Kitten to Jake. She’s almost seven months old and is already spoiled rotten by her adoring father.”

  “Well, I can see why.” Sabrina stroked the baby’s blond head and slanted a smile at Luke. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

  “She is.” His throat tightened as he imagined what their baby would look like if he could give Sabrina a child. If their daughter took after her, she could easily resemble the Manions’ little girl, except their baby would have bright green eyes instead of blue.

  “Come in.” Maggie led them into the house and down a center hallway to the office situated off a giant great room which was adjacent to a huge country kitchen.

  “Great layout,” Luke told Maggie.

  “Jake gets all the credit. I married him and moved in long after the house was built. But I really love this place.” Maggie sat Katie in a baby swing and jerked her head toward the study. “Go on in. Jake’s waiting for you.”

  Luke poked his head in the doorway. “Hey, Coach. Or should we call you Doc?”

  “Why don’t we keep things informal? Call me Jake.”

  The dark-haired man was probably seven or eight years older than Luke, but he still had an athlete’s build. He stood and closed the door behind them. After Luke introduced Sabrina, Jake gestured to the sofa. “Have a seat and tell me why you wanted to see me.”

  They settled side by side on the couch while Jake sank into the armchair facing them, a yellow legal pad in his lap. It took Luke over fifteen minutes to explain his medical situation, his relationship with Ben and Sabrina, and everything that entailed.

  “Anyway,” he said in conclusion, “the receptionist at the genetic testing center told me I should choose someone to support me through the process. I figured since Sabrina will be doing that, she should come to these counseling sessions.”

  Jake glanced at her. “And how do you feel about all of this? Do you want Luke to be screened for Huntington’s?”

  “If that’s what it’ll take for him to feel he can become my husband without worrying he’ll one day be a burden to me.”

  “So that’s a yes.”

  She nodded.

  “Do you think it’s possible he’ll become a burden if he gets sick?”

  “No, of course not. I love him.”

  “Luke mentioned you’re a nurse, so you know that what you feel for someone doesn’t make it easier to watch him suffer. Nor does love make it more fun to take care of that person when he becomes an invalid. So I’m asking again—do you think you would feel resentful if Luke gets sick?”

  “I’m guessing I’m supposed to say yes.”

  “There’s no right or wrong answer. Only honest ones.”

  She glanced at Luke and shrugged. “Of course it’s possible I’ll occasionally feel put upon. I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t. But you don’t stop loving someone simply because they’re sick.”

  “Especially if one of the reasons you think you love them is because they’re sick.” Luke muttered.

  Sabrina spun her head toward him. “Why would you say something like that?”

  Jake stared at him and raised his eyebrows, indicating he wanted to hear the answer to that question, too.

  “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you’re a compulsive caretaker. It makes me wonder if part of the reason you’re so hung up on me is because you think I’ll need you someday.”

  “That’s ridiculous. I was in love with you long before I ever knew you might have Huntington’s.”

  “So,”—Jake gestured to her—“would you say you have a lot at stake in whether Luke decides to be screened and in the outcome of the test?”

  “Sure.”

  “In that case, do you think you’re the best person to advise him on this subject if he asks for your opinion?”

  “Wait a minute.” Luke held up one hand. “Are you suggesting she’ll try to influence me one way or the other out of self-interest?”

  “It’s not a question of whether she’ll try to influence you.” Jake leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. “A better question is can she?”

  “Change my mind?”

  “Yes.”

  “Of course she can sway my decisions. I love her and care what she thinks.”

  “As you should if you’re thinking of marrying her. But if her opinion matters, you should ask someone else to go through the decision process with you. Someone completely impartial, who has only your needs and best interest at heart.”

  Great. Jake didn’t believe the woman he loved should be involved. Luke glanced at her. “What do you think about that?”

  “I want to say that’s ridiculous.” She smiled. “But I would be speaking from my own interest, which is to be consulted in everything that affects the chance of spending my life with you. So, if I’m going to be honest, I would have to admit Jake’s probably right.”

  “If we’re ruling out all the people who might try to influence me, then it would include everyone I know. Tyl
er wants me to marry you, and Ben would prefer that you marry him. My mother is out, as well as all of my brothers and sisters. They all want me to have the test and marry you.”

  Sabrina shook her head. “Not all of them.”

  He glanced at her askance. “Who doesn’t care if I—”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Dante?”

  “No way.” He waved his hands in front of him as if he could erase the idea. “I can’t believe you would even suggest him.”

  Jake scribbled something on his pad. “Don’t you get along with Dante?”

  “I’ve never even met him.” Luke launched into the long tale his mother shared with them less than a week ago. He finished, saying, “So basically, everything I believed about who I am was invalidated.”

  The other man’s mouth twisted for a moment as if he wasn’t sure how to respond. “It seems as if you’re dealing with a lot right now. Do you think it’s wise to make such an important, possibly life-altering, decision while you’re in the middle of an identity crisis?”

  “I’m not really having an actual crisis.”

  “You’re not? Then why’d you ask to see me?”

  “Honestly?” Luke sputtered. “Because the genetic testing center won’t screen me unless I get counseling first.”

  “Now I’m crushed.” Jake clutched his chest and chuckled. “Here I thought it was because I’m so popular. Seriously, why do you think the center requires you to get counseling to qualify?”

  “Because it’s a big decision, and they want me to have a clear head while I’m making it.”

  “Exactly,” Sabrina agreed.

  “Since you came for my professional advice, here’s my two cents,” Jake said. “I think you should consider meeting your biological father and half-brother. I’m not suggesting you ask Dante to get involved in your screening process, but Tony is dealing with the disease, and you must have questions about him and Dante.”

  “Yeah. I guess I do.”

  “Jake has a point.” Sabrina took his hand. “You could talk to Tony about how it feels to know he’s losing control of his body and will slowly lose his mental faculties. Did he get tested before he became symptomatic? If he did, it might help you to know how he felt when he learned his fate.”

  “I’ll think about it.” Luke shrugged. “But that still doesn’t settle the question of who I should ask to be my counseling buddy.”

  “What about Cal? He cares about you, but he has no stake in whatever you decide.”

  Jake’s forehead furrowed. “Who’s Cal?”

  “He’s a friend on the force,” Luke told him. “My partner.”

  “Well, if you trust him to have your back when your life could be at risk, I suspect you can rely on him to have it in this situation, too.”

  “Isn’t it kind of senseless to ask someone else to be my counseling partner? Whether she means to or not, Sabrina is still going to sway my decision, especially if I spend a lot of time with her.”

  “That’s probably true,” Jake agreed. “So maybe you should take a break from each other while you’re in counseling.”

  “I definitely dislike that idea.” She snorted softly.

  “Dislike is a major understatement,” Luke muttered. “I detest the idea.”

  Jake leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. “Your reaction to that suggestion indicates you have a much more serious dilemma than simply deciding if you should have the Huntington’s test. If you can’t handle a month or two separated from Sabrina, how will you accept letting her go for rest of your life if you decide she’ll be better off marrying your friend?”

  Good question. He’d be damned if he knew the answer.

  CHAPTER 15

  Sabrina stared out the window of Cal’s Prius while Luke silently drove back toward the center of Redemption. Even though spending weeks without seeing Luke, let alone, not talking to him, was the last thing she wanted to do, she had to admit Jake Manion was probably right. The ex-NFL quarterback seemed to be a psychologist extraordinaire who excelled at getting his patients to see the hard truth.

  Luke’s brooding silence, after Jake posed his last question, implied a prolonged absence from her just might make his heart grow fonder, as the adage claimed. A separation could very well provide a greater inducement to marry her than her daily presence ever would.

  “You should probably do everything Jake suggested,” she said as Luke pulled into the Redemption Café’s parking lot.

  “I know.”

  “What’re we doing here?”

  “I thought you might like to have lunch before I take you home.”

  “Trying to squeeze in a little more time with me at a place where you can’t ravish me?”

  “Something like that.” He smiled at her sideways. “You love flaunting your ability to read my ulterior motives, don’t you?”

  “You bet I do.” The reason she was so good at it was because she had a secret agenda of her own. She wanted time alone with him.

  “Why don’t I make us lunch back at my apartment,” she suggested. “I stopped at Sallie’s Sweet & Savories yesterday and bought over a pound of their roast beef.” The gourmet deli and bakery in town was renowned for the high quality of their cold cuts, salads, and baked goods. “I’d planned to invite the Klausens to lunch, but Richard had a doctor’s appointment in Philly this afternoon. The roast beef won’t be nearly as fresh tomorrow.”

  “You can have it for supper.”

  “There’s way too much for just me. I don’t have your appetite, which is big enough to eat as much as Mr. and Mrs. Klausen put together.”

  “They should be home by dinnertime.”

  She lowered her voice to a more seductive octave. “It’s nice and juicy, and I have that super hot horseradish/mayo sauce you love. I also bought those poppy-seed Kaiser rolls you like,” she told him, knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to resist his favorite sandwich.

  “Ms. Fitzpatrick, you’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you?” he accused in a terrible Dustin Hoffman imitation.

  She laughed and rested her foot on his dashboard, à la Mrs. Robinson, pulling up the hem of her jeans to expose the full length of her bent leg. “I don’t have to try, Luke.”

  “No, unfortunately for me, you don’t.” He shoved the gearshift into reverse and backed out of the parking space. “You had me at roast beef.”

  “Good. I’ll even defrost some of my homemade vegetable barley soup.”

  “Umm. Just to be clear—we’re eating outside on your patio, and I’m not going anywhere near your bedroom.”

  “That’s fine.” The sofa would work for what she had planned. She couldn’t let him say good-bye to her for over a month without a few passionate kisses to remind him what he’d be missing—possibly for the rest of his life.

  ~*~

  He had to stop listening to his stomach as well as his lower anatomy.

  The moment they walked in the door, Luke knew he’d made a mistake agreeing to have lunch at Sabrina’s apartment.

  But, damn it, he really loved roast beef sandwiches.

  She immediately stripped off the tailored blouse she’d worn over her stretchy pink T-shirt. “It’s been freezing the last two days, and now it’s as hot as Hades again. I think we’re in for a bit of Indian summer.”

  She reached over and switched the thermostat to air conditioning. The last thing he needed was for her to get cold. Her nipples already stuck out so prominently under the tight knit fabric he had trouble restraining his hands.

  He jerked his gaze away as she strode into the small kitchen where she dug the package of roast beef with all the fixings from the fridge and placed them on the tiny round table.

  “You can sit and make the sandwiches while I heat the soup. I’d like some thinly sliced onion and horseradish sauce on mine, too.”

  Hell, she even knew how he preferred his sandwich. If he hadn’t shown up out of the blue that morning to ask her to join him at his appointment, he’d swear s
he’d planned this lunch.

  He propped his crutches against the wall and sank into one of the two chairs. While he quietly assembled three sandwiches and slathered the crusty rolls with horseradish mayo, Sabrina defrosted a block of frozen soup in the microwave, leaving him too much time to think about how different their relationship would be if she married Ben.

  Now that Ben knew Luke was also in love with Sabrina, BJ wouldn’t be eager for his wife to spend time with him. If his friendship with either of them had a chance of surviving, he needed to test negative.

  After several minutes, she broke the silence, asking, “Have you decided if you’re going to visit your father or not?”

  “I wish you wouldn’t call him that.”

  “That’s who he is.”

  “Yeah, I know. But it feels like a betrayal of my dad to think of Tony that way.”

  “I can see that. So?” She tipped her head as she looked pointedly at him.

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Maybe.” If he could summon up the nerve. This whole situation had taught him an uncomfortable truth about himself. He was actually a big coward when it came to confronting his feelings. He needed to grow a pair.

  “Well, even if you don’t go see him, I still think it’s best if we follow Jake’s other advice.”

  “You mean about me not seeing or talking to you?”

  “Right. At least until Thanksgiving.” The microwave beeped, and she stirred the soup before setting the appliance’s timer for another few minutes.

  “You’re okay with that?”

  “I’ll survive. Besides, I can always accept BJ’s invitation and leave the country. That should keep me busy. I’ve never been to Paris, and he said he would fly Annie and your sisters over for a week to help me shop and choose bridesmaids dresses.”

  It was one thing to avoid seeing Sabrina for several weeks, but he sure as hell didn’t want her shacking up with Ben in some five-star hotel during that time.

  His jaw clenched so hard, his back molars threatened to crack. “Uhh, Tyler was released from the hospital only two days ago. Is he ready to be left alone?”

  “No, but in another week or two, he’ll be fine with Dottie there taking care of the kids. When I asked Annie if she was interested in the trip, she said she’d have to wait and see how he’s doing.