A Heart Decision

by Laurie Kellogg

  Okay, so she may not have used the actual word arrogant, but she sure as hell had expressed the sentiment.

  Unfortunately, he hadn’t really listened. But he would now.

  CHAPTER 16

  The third week in November, Sabrina stood on their hotel suite’s private terrace, admiring her amazing view of The City of Light. The dark night sky created a dramatic backdrop to showcase the glittering Eiffel Tower.

  Talk about Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

  Ben had booked the five-star hotel’s two-bedroom royal suite for them and a similar set of rooms for Annie and Luke’s three sisters to call home during their shopping spree.

  And, man, oh man, did the five of them shop—for everything from designer shoes and sexy lingerie to a skimpy bikini she wasn’t sure she would ever have the nerve to wear in public.

  They’d also bought the most gorgeous couture wedding gown any of them had ever seen. Ben had forbidden the exclusive bridal boutique to reveal any of the price tags, so she had no idea what it cost, but undoubtedly, he’d paid a small fortune.

  All she knew for certain was the strapless, formfitting dress, which flared just above her knees into a full hem and fishtail train, gave her a sleeker, shapelier silhouette than anything she’d ever worn. The pearl and Swarovski crystal-beaded satin sparkled like a thousand diamonds, making her feel as elegant as royalty.

  The feature that made the gown truly special, however, was its plunging back. From behind, it appeared to leave her completely bare and sprinkled in starlight from her neck to well below her waist. Tiny crystals scattered over sheer, flesh-toned netting held the dress together and matched her skin color perfectly, creating a glamorous, romantic illusion.

  When the bridal consultant had gathered the train and secured it into a bustle, the rear of the gown was so stunning it took her breath away.

  After choosing her gown, it had been a serious challenge to find bridesmaids dresses that didn’t seem drab in comparison. They finally chose strapless sheaths in lush red velvet with trumpet-flared hems and similar plunging backs to mirror the style of her dress

  She flinched as Ben crept up behind her, squeezed her shoulders, and murmured in her ear. “A penny for your thoughts?”

  “My thoughts aren’t worth even that much.” She chuckled. “Although, I’d expect a man with your fortune to offer me at least a grand.”

  “It’s yours. I can’t wait to share everything I have with you, honey.”

  “Thank you.” She forced a smile, failing to think of a tactful way to tell him how unimportant his fortune was to her happiness. “I was just standing here enjoying the view and thinking about how much fun I had shopping with the girls and how incredible you’ve made this trip.”

  “I’m glad you enjoyed it. After we’re married, we can spend all of our time traveling, if you’d like.”

  Luke had encouraged her to be honest with Ben. It was about time she shared her concerns and discontentment with him.

  “That’s just it. I don’t want to spend my life traveling. Vacations are great, but they’re not very fulfilling to my soul. I want to go back to work, Ben. I love being a nurse, and I miss taking care of sick children.”

  “How can you miss that? I like kids as much as anyone, but you can keep the vomit and snot.”

  “It’s not just the kids. In pediatrics, reassuring the parents is a big part of the job. I makes me feel whole to comfort people. A nurse is who I am.”

  “That’s part of the reason I asked you to give up your career. You get way too involved, Sabrina. You carry around everyone else’s problems and lose who you are in your job. I want you to be happy.”

  She glanced up at the night sky and let out a loud huff. “You’re as bad as Luke. He can’t believe I could be happy taking care of him. Face it. I’m a nurturer and a caregiver. It’s who I am. If you can’t live with that—”

  “I can—really. If that’s what you need, you should go back to work after our honeymoon. Or you could work per diem so you could travel with me sometimes. In any case,”—he shrugged his shoulders—“you have me wondering if you fell for Luke instead of me because he’s such a tortured soul.”

  Luke had said something very similar in Jake’s office.

  Could Ben be right? Had she fallen in love with Luke because she’d sensed his inner turmoil and angst? If that was true, what did it say about her?

  Was she so insecure she couldn’t be happy unless she felt needed? How sick would it be if the only way she felt validated was through other people’s misery? She’d had an alcoholic and compulsive gambler father who’d never had any use for either her or her brother. Perhaps her obsession for taking care of others was a simple case of co-dependence.

  An emotionally healthy woman would feel worthy of unconditional love and wouldn’t feel she had to give up so much of herself to earn anyone’s affection. Ben was right. She needed more balance in her life. It was something she would have to work on.

  “Who knows?” she said, releasing a soft snort. “Maybe I have some weird reverse form of Münchausen by proxy syndrome. Even though I would never try to make anyone sick, I sure as heck have a tendency to seek out those who are so I can take care of them.”

  “No.” He tilted his head as he peered at her. “I’d say it’s more likely you have Mother Teresa syndrome. You believe it’s up to you to fix everyone. My only question is—do I have to be broken for you to want me?”

  She smiled up at him and patted his arm. “Believe me, Ben, you’re already broken, just in a different way than Luke. Thank you for accepting that I need to do something rewarding with my life, even if you don’t understand it.”

  If nothing else, now that she had her career to look forward to, she could see herself being content as Ben’s wife even if she was never deliriously happy.

  “So, you think I’m broken? How?”

  “Kind of the way I am. Why do you feel the need to do so much, financially, for everyone ? Even for people you don’t know?”

  “Touché.” He laughed, raising his hands. “I suppose it makes me feel good to help people.”

  “Bingo.”

  “Okay, I get it.” He slid his arms around her and squeezed her close. “So, are you glad we’re flying home tomorrow?”

  She nodded. “I should go inside and finish packing.”

  “The butler can do it.”

  “No, I’d prefer to pack myself. That way I’ll know where everything is when I get home.” All of her purchases had already been shipped back to the States and would be waiting for her at BJ’s penthouse.

  He shrugged. “Okay. I’ll watch you pack.”

  While she filled her suitcase on the luggage rack, Ben stretched out under the king-sized bed’s canopy. He’d given her the master bedroom to enjoy and had taken the other only-slightly-less-posh room for himself.

  She strode into the expansive white marble bathroom, which also boasted an amazing view of the city, to collect the toiletries she wouldn’t need in the morning. She picked up the unopened box of tampons she’d brought with her and froze in her tracks. “Oh, no!”

  “What’s the matter?” Ben called from the bedroom.

  “I’m late.” Really late.

  “For what?”

  She wandered back to the bedroom with the sealed box in her hand and her stomach in a knot. “Aunt Flo was supposed to visit the week we arrived. We’ve been so busy sightseeing, I forgot about it.”

  His forehead wrinkled. “That’s not uncommon when a woman is stressed out, is it?”

  “No. But my cycle’s as regular as an atomic clock.” She’d assumed her morning queasiness and fatigue were due to all the rich food she’d been eating during late-night suppers in the best gourmet restaurants the city had to offer. Coupled with her missed period, now she couldn’t help but wonder.

  Ben sat up, and his narrowed gaze dropped to her stomach. “Are you saying you might be pregnant?”

  Numbly, she placed the tampon box in
her suitcase. “I don’t know what I’m saying. It’s just odd. But I don’t see how it’s possible.”

  “You did take sex ed in high school, right?”

  “Very funny.”

  “At the hospital last month, Luke mentioned he’d had a vasectomy years ago.” Ben swung his long legs off the bed and sat on the edge. “So if you are pregnant, who’s the father?”

  “Certainly not you.”

  He released a sarcastic huff. “No one knows that better than I do, honey.”

  “I’m sorry. I know you’ve been as patient as a saint, and I don’t deserve how understanding you are.” She sank onto the mattress next to him. “But I’m a little hurt you’d think there could’ve been someone besides Luke.”

  “I didn’t think there was someone else. I simply don’t see how you could be pregnant, unless it’s by immaculate conception.”

  “My point, precisely.”

  He slid his arm around her shoulders. “It’s highly unlikely you are. But let’s say, hypothetically, you’ve miraculously conceived. How do you think Luke would react?”

  “I have no idea. There’s no way he can blame me after swearing he couldn’t impregnate me. Why do you ask?”

  He shrugged. “I’m wondering if he would feel compelled to marry you, regardless of whether he decides to have the HD screening or not. Or do you think it would push him into having the test?”

  “Maybe.” She released a soft snort. “Considering how paranoid he is about passing on the disease, he’d probably demand I go for prenatal testing.”

  “You think he’d actually ask you to have an abortion if his child was positive?”

  “I don’t know.” She turned to face Ben. “But it’s a moot point because I’d never do it. I’ve taken care of a lot of sick children, but I still don’t believe a life is any less precious because a baby has some sort of defect. So there’d be no reason to have the screening.”

  He cupped her cheek in his broad palm. “I just want you to know that, even if you’re pregnant, I still want to marry you.”

  “You wouldn’t resent raising your friend’s child?”

  “I’m not saying it wouldn’t take some adjustment.” He heaved a deep sigh. “Right now, I’m pissed as hell that Luke might have given you the child I hoped to have with you. But I’ll get over it and love your baby simply because he’s yours.”

  “Thank you. But seeing as your pal’s been neutered for almost fifteen years, I don’t think that’ll become an issue. My cycle is probably just out of whack.”

  But what if it isn’t? a small voice inside her head taunted.

  She couldn’t let herself get her hopes up. As much as it scared her and would cause a zillion problems, she couldn’t quite smother the spark of joy the prospect of having Luke’s baby brought her.

  ~*~

  Luke paced the length of Tony’s living room on the fourth Thursday in November. Dante and his father had been eager to meet Luke’s brothers and sisters and, therefore, invited the entire family to have Thanksgiving dinner at their estate.

  Luke had warned them what a typical holiday dinner entailed at his mom’s house and explained she’d always invited Tyler and Annie’s family to join them as well as Sabrina, Ben, and his dad.

  After growing up as an only child, Dante had been thrilled with the prospect of finally becoming part of a larger family.

  “Would you sit down, already,” his brother, Joe, barked at him from the sofa. “You’re wearing a path in Uncle Tony’s carpet.”

  “I’m exercising my ankle.” After having the cast removed only the week before, it still ached a little.

  He glanced at his watch for the hundredth time in the last half hour. Ben was, supposedly, driving Sabrina to dinner. For the last six weeks, she’d cut off all communication with Luke, other than the birthday balloons she’d sent with the roast beef sandwiches and carrot cake she’d had delivered from Sallie’s Sweet & Savories.

  “The least she could’ve done was mail me a few postcards from Paris,” he said to no one in particular. His sisters had told him about the amazing five-star hotel they’d stayed in when they joined Sabrina and Ben in France. He glanced at Frankie and Annie feasting on colossal cocktail shrimp. “After the vacation BJ just treated her to, she’s probably decided to marry him after all.”

  “If she did, it’s your own damn fault,” Frankie said, licking her fingers. “Knowing the way Ben treated us, I’d sure as heck marry him.”

  “That’s what you’ve been pushing her to do,” Annie reminded him as she leaned over the coffee table and helped herself to another shrimp.

  “Relax, Luke.” Dante wandered in from the foyer and slapped his back. “They pulled through the gates a couple of minutes ago.”

  The doorbell reverberated through the house, and Luke immediately sank into a chair, trying not to appear overeager.”

  Two seconds later, Sabrina and Ben appeared in the archway. Damn, she looked amazing. She wore dark slacks with high-heeled black boots and a pale yellow sweater that appeared softer than the down on a baby chick. Since her outfit screamed high-fashion, she’d probably bought it in Paris.

  “Hi everyone,” she greeted. “I never dreamed a place like this could be so close to the city. This estate is nearly as gorgeous as Ben’s place in the Poconos.”

  The entire family agreed—loudly. But then, his family rarely did anything quietly.

  Was it his imagination? Or was Sabrina avoiding his gaze?

  He stood and held his hand out to her, never before feeling so awkward. “Princess, I’d like you to meet our hosts.” As soon as she finished hugging Tony and Dante, Luke said, “Would you mind taking a walk with me for a few minutes?”

  “Take her to the solarium, Lucca,” Tony suggested. “It’s quiet and private in there.”

  And undoubtedly a beautiful place to propose.

  ~*~

  Ben’s chest shuddered as he drew a labored breath and stepped into the foyer to watch Luke escort Sabrina down the long hallway.

  He couldn’t let himself hope his friend had chosen not to be tested and would insist BJ marry the woman they both loved.

  As much as Sabrina’s happiness meant to him, he wanted her to be happy be with him, damn it.

  “You okay?” Tyler shuffled out of the living room and handed him a glass of cold sparkling cider. “Do you want something stronger?” Although Tyler had recuperated almost completely from his head injury, he still limped a little.

  Ben took a sip, savoring the fizzy sweet apple flavor. “No, the cider’s fine.”

  “What about my first question?”

  “I’ll let you know when Sabrina comes back.” He turned to face Tyler. “Or do you already know what Luke’s decided.”

  “I could tell you, but then I’d have to sue you for every cent you have.”

  He closed his eyes, gripping his glass tighter. “Please, Ty, don’t fuck with me right now. I need to know so I can summon up a smile when she tells me she’s not marrying me.”

  Tyler heaved a sigh. “I helped him pick out a ring this week.”

  He nodded, swallowing hard. “Good.”

  “As I asked before, are you okay?”

  “No,” he croaked in barely more than a whisper, “but I will be....eventually.”

  “Any way I can help?”

  He shook his head and then grabbed Tyler’s arm. “Wait. There is something you can do.”

  “Whatever you need. You know that.”

  “When they come back from their honeymoon, I’ll be granting you power of attorney over the business.”

  Tyler’s eyebrows shot up. “You want me to run Elliott Enterprises?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “I’ll be away for a while.”

  “Where?”

  Ben shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

  “For how long?”

  “I don’t know that, either.” He’d be gone for however long it took to breathe without his
chest feeling as if he had a boa constrictor squeezing the life out of him.

  Tyler gave a sarcastic snort. “You’re a regular fount of information, aren’t you?”

  “Don’t worry. You’ll have my dad’s help, and you can always call me with any emergencies.”

  “Okay, but I still don’t understand.”

  “There’s an adage that says time heals all wounds.” Ben shrugged, spreading his arms. “I need some time.”

  Maybe a lot of it.

  ~*~

  Luke led Sabrina to the back of the house into a humongous four-season enclosure filled with hundreds of exotic plants and flowers. A flagstone path wound its way around the raised gardens.

  “I see you got your cast off. Does it hurt?” she asked. “You’re limping a little.”

  “It’s still a bit stiff.” Kind of like another part of him had been since she walked into the house.

  She gestured toward his gray slacks and navy sports coat. “You look really nice today. Is that a new jacket?”

  “Yeah.” The words he wanted to say eluded him, so he settled on asking, “How was your trip?”

  “Amazing.” She sank onto one of the cushioned rattan couches situated in the circular clearing at the center of the solarium. “I’m so glad I went and experienced how the other half lives.”

  Great. BJ had evidently pulled out all the stops and shown her how great life would be if she were married to a billionaire.

  “When we got home, Ben took me right to his estate for a few days to unwind and catch up on my beauty sleep.”

  “Well, it worked.” He settled in the seat next to her. “I don’t know if it’s the cheery color of your sweater or your life of leisure, but you’re practically glowing.”

  She gnawed on her lip for a moment. “Uhh, there’s a good reason for—”

  “I’ve decided not to have the test,” he blurted out.

  “Oh.” She looked away. “What I was about to tell you may change your mind.”

  “Not likely. The day I met Dante, he said something that made me rethink my position.” He slid off the sofa onto one knee. “So if it doesn’t bother you that I may become a drooling idiot some day, I’d be honored if you would be my wife.”