Momentary Lapse

by Toni J Strawn

  “Yeah, it’ll just be something simple.” Logan was still acting like a sulky schoolboy. “You’ve never had a job and you won’t have a clue what you’re doing.”

  Okay. Madison let him away with the insult, although it still stung. She might not have had a full education, but she wasn’t stupid. “I know enough to go to your father and explain why I need a job,” she snipped back, holding Logan’s stare to show him just how smart—and serious—she could be.

  “Touché.” He grinned. “What happened to you, Madison? You’ve changed. Gotten all sassy.” He licked his lips.

  Madison suppressed a shudder. “Perhaps this is who I was all along?”

  “Maybe.” But Logan looked skeptical.

  She couldn’t blame him. It was a lie. This is who she’d always wanted to be. The real Madison St. James had been buried long ago.

  “What do I need to do?” She wanted to get on with it. Before she lost her newfound nerve and backed down. This was the first time she’d done something rash since the night she’d met Cole. And look what that had gotten her. Her life had turned upside down. For Madison to make it the right way up, this was one step she needed to make on her own.

  She stood. “Can we get started?”

  “Yes.”

  Madison tried to ignore the fact Logan eagerly rubbed his hands together.

  Yet, Madison couldn’t fault his assistance in organizing her new job. He’d shown her how to enroll at the temping agency, fill out forms in the most flattering way and fudge her résumé with a bit of creative padding.

  Once all of her paperwork was in place, Logan contacted the agency looking for a mature junior administrator and, not surprisingly, Madison fitted all the criteria for the position perfectly. She now had a short-term contract working for Noah Chatterton, an up-and-coming engineer at Crovens, who was happy to trial the new assistant program Logan had created to improve productivity.

  The only thing marring Madison’s excitement at having her first job was the fact she still hadn’t told Cole, even though she talked to him every night. She might have been all fired up about her decision to get on with her life in Logan’s office, but when it came to telling Cole, she plain chickened out.

  The timing never seemed quite right. Cole was preoccupied, which created a convenient excuse for Madison to back out whenever she tried to broach the subject. The only good thing—if you could call it that—was that Cole wasn’t talking either. He was clearly worried about something. Something to do with his work. But he shut Madison down whenever she asked about it.

  Cole was a man who took care of others, not the other way around.

  So, Madison turned her attention to her up-and-coming position. Her first real job. She was twenty-three years old and about to make a proper contribution to society, pay taxes, join the daily slog. Madison couldn’t have been happier. She began to think she might just survive when Cole walked away. That she was beginning to get a grip on controlling her own future.

  The next step would be telling her mother. Madison knew she would never realize her dreams—once she figured out what they were—if she waited around for everyone else’s approval. Cole’s or her mother’s. She couldn’t wait for Patricia to be okay with her life choices.

  Never going to happen.

  Growing up, Madison had seen Patricia at her worst. They’d been poor and on their own, and she recognized that her mother had been scared. But their lives were different now. Chalk and cheese. And Patricia needed to accept those years were over. The social ladder had been climbed. Now Madison wanted off the sycophantic carousel. She wanted to be more than a pretty doll. She couldn’t keep living the lie…well, not for too much longer, anyway.

  One step at a time.

  A few days later, and Madison was ready prove she could make it in the real world. She arrived for work half an hour early and Logan was there, waiting to take her through the induction process. He nodded in approval at her smart business attire—tea-colored suit pants, a cream top with an olive scarf twisted artfully around her neck.

  “Nice. Very nice.”

  Was she imagining it, or had his eye lingered somewhere just below her neck line?

  She hid her frown. “Professional chic. I wanted to look the part. Not that I’m playing,” she added as he finally dragged his gaze higher.

  Unabashed, a grin of appreciation slid over his face. Madison sighed. So not going there. She wasn’t naive enough to believe Logan had arranged this job out of pity—he wouldn’t know the word if it fell out of the dictionary and slapped him upside the head—but she expected a degree of professionalism.

  “I’m here for the job. Remember?” She waggled her notepad in his face.

  “Yeah. I remember.” Logan drew out another lingering look.

  “So what will I actually be doing?” Once again, Madison tried to divert his attention back to the purpose of her being here, which wasn’t centered on her breasts, unless she’d missed something in the job description.

  “As little as possible, I hope.” Logan pulled out his trademark grin. “I mean, seriously, Mads, it’s not like you know what you’re doing.”

  Madison shuddered as he shortened her name. He knew she hated that.

  “From what the job description outlined, it’s just a matter of organization, isn’t it?” She eyed him coolly. “That’s what I am good at. Organizing charity events, ensuring everything is there, the catering, the entertainment, the seating arrangements…”

  “Yes, building a modern marvel of the structural world is just like a charity event.” Logan stopped short of rolling his eyes.

  “You know what I mean.” Madison huffed. “It’s about keeping everyone happy. You should try negotiating wedding plans with my mother, then you’ll know what I mean.”

  “Don’t, Madison.” The grin slid off Logan’s face. “I’d rather not be reminded of the fact we were supposed to marry.” He shot her a brooding look. “I fucked up. I get it.”

  Madison ducked her head, not sure if he meant it or whether he was just saying what he thought she wanted to hear. The last few days, helping her get organized for the job, Logan had been surprisingly sweet. Then again, she’d thought he’d been genuine about their relationship too, and look how that had turned out.

  “Let’s get to work.” She gathered up her notebook and stretched her mouth into a practiced smile.

  Logan just sat there, head tilted appraisingly. “It’s like you’re this person I don’t know.”

  “I’m the same old Madison,” she assured him. Wishing she wasn’t. Wishing she didn’t give a shit what other people thought…that she didn’t spend so long preparing the façade she presented to the outside world, hiding behind a layer of niceness when she really wanted to scream and kick her heels and howl about how fucking unfair it was.

  “No, you’re not.” Logan placed his hands on the desk and leaned forward until he was bare inches away. “Neither of us are. We’ve both changed…”

  Madison knotted her fingers together. “Don’t, Logan.” She shut the door on that particular conversation with a snap. Her brittle mask was barely holding raw emotions back as it was. She smoothed her hair, her hands shaking. “I have a job. Remember?”

  “Okay. We won’t talk about this now, but there will be a time. I promise you.” Logan warned. He pushed back from his desk, mouth curving into a smile as if the last five minutes hadn’t happened. “Come on. I’ll take you to Noah.”

  Madison’s refusal to talk about their relationship didn’t stop Logan from asking her to dinner that night. Or the next.

  “Come on, babe.” He’d reverted back to charming Logan again, all smiles and fake niceties. “I’m doing you a favor. You don’t have much money, so dinner will be my treat.”

  “Ironic really, when you’ll be using my allowance to pay for it.”

  Logan pulled out
a boyish grin and shrugged.

  Madison gritted her teeth and left him standing at her desk. The more she knocked him back, the more his interest seemed to flourish. He took the mere fact of her being here as an invitation. But, what could she do? This job was exactly what she needed. Her mother might accept Madison’s change in life plans eventually, but what she wouldn’t accept was Madison working in some divey café, waiting tables or pouring beer for the unwashed masses. This job was her only chance at persuading Patricia she could look after herself.

  She could handle Logan. There was no way Madison would succumb to his charm. It was everything else causing her restless nights and the small frowns of worry. Her mother.

  Cole…

  Madison shut down her thoughts. If she was brave enough to go against her mother and tackle Logan’s over-inflated ego, she shouldn’t be worried about Cole’s reaction when he found out where she was. She was doing this for her. For Madison.

  She wanted to prove to Cole she could make it on her own. That she didn’t need him to look after her. Maybe then he’d see her for who she was trying to be…

  Would the real Madison St. James please stand up?

  All she needed was get through the next few months, update her résumé and get a job somewhere else. Anywhere else.

  It remained to be seen whether Cole would be there to see her surface.

  * * * * *

  Cole stared at the bits of broken plastic in his hand. Wires and electronic guts spilled out of the cracks of what used to be a phone.

  “Fuck!” He jammed the remains of his landline back on the cradle. Then still not satisfied, he took advantage of the visceral pleasure by picking it up and shoving it down again. “Goddamn piece of shit!”

  He dropped his head in his hands and stared at the top of his desk through his fingers. Three years he’d worked on this mall deal. Three long, fucking years of meticulous planning and scraping together of funds and negotiating red tape…

  All for nothing.

  “I tried to move ahead on the consenting, but we’re too late. Salamond Holdings have lodged a claim.” Marcus had sounded as weary as Cole felt when he’d broken the news.

  “Salamond Holdings. Who the fuck are they?” Cole had held his breath. Waiting.

  “Look, Cole. I—”

  “Who owns it?” Cole demanded, knowing by the sound of his voice that Marcus had figured it out.

  A pause. Then, “Your uncle. Russell Langford. Among others…”

  Which is when Cole had taken it upon himself to hang up the phone in his not so delicate way.

  Karma really had come along and kicked him in the nutsack.

  Why? After everything Russell and Thomas had put Cole through, why were they still hellbent on wrecking his life? They had money. They had prestige. They held all the goddamned cards.

  Yet, even as Cole ranted and raved and kicked his filing cabinet, understanding poured salt in an already open wound. He was doing well. Too well. He’d become a threat to Thomas.

  Thomas, who’d been born on the right side of the Langford family. He was on his way to becoming a senator. A squeaky clean golden boy with a sparkling smile and honesty that shone from those apple-pie cheeks.

  And the only person in the world who could refute that fact?

  Cole.

  Up until now, Cole hadn’t been anyone to take seriously. He was a small time businessman with a murky past who’d been notoriously expelled from a prestigious high school. Over the years, he’d proven himself and now, with this mall development, Cole was moving from obscurity to a place where people might just start listening. With Thomas so close to the White House, Russell could never let Cole amass any real power or influence.

  “Do you have any money, boy?”

  Well, if they thought Cole would roll over and take it up the ass this time, Thomas and Russell were in for a surprise. He swept bits of his phone into the trash with an angry swipe. Then pulled out his cell and hit Marcus’s number.

  “Sorry ’bout that.”

  “You okay?”

  “Yep. Just needed a minute to cool down.”

  “What’s going on, Cole?” Marcus sounded worried. “Why has Salamond Holdings left it this late to lodge a claim? And why your uncle? Has he talked to you about it? What about your grandfather?”

  “Drop it, Marcus,” Cole cut off the litany of questions he had no logical answers for. “They’re not family. You know that.” As far as he was concerned, Russell and Thomas were the enemy.

  “So, that’s it. You’re going to give up?”

  “Fuck no!” The denial exploded from Cole’s lips. His teeth hurt from gritting them so hard, but he still managed a grim smile. “I’ll talk to Henry Crovens, get the full set of plans and any supporting documents. Give me a few days to look through it. Then we attack.”

  He left for Wellsford within the hour. Into the eye of the storm.

  And in the middle of the tempest, sat Madison. His moment of calm. Cole couldn’t wait to see her again. He’d been distracted when they’d talked over the last few days, but she was exactly what he needed now to keep his mind off his problems.

  Time away had served to reinforce how much he’d missed her. He liked being around her. Enjoyed her company. Cole wanted her back in his arms. In his bed. In his life.

  She was the only ray of sunshine in an otherwise shitty day.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Madison? What the hell…?”

  Madison spun around. The first flutter of delight at hearing Cole’s voice overshadowed by a shiver of dread when she realized where she was.

  Crovens.

  What she was doing.

  Talking to Logan.

  Cole stood at the other end of the corridor, fists clenched at his sides, his face cold and uncompromising. Her heart dropped further.

  Why hadn’t she told him? It’d been too easy to pretend not telling him was okay when he wasn’t here. But it wasn’t. One look at his face told her that.

  She swallowed. “Cole. I-I didn’t know you were back.”

  “Clearly.” Something dark flashed across his eyes as he glanced from her to Logan and back again. Then he dropped his head and turned away.

  “Madison, what’s going on?” Logan drew her attention, his gaze arrowing in on Cole, retreating.

  Shit. “Cole. Wait!”

  Ignoring Logan, Madison rushed after Cole, her heart thudding in her chest. If he left now, she would never get another chance. She grabbed his arm in desperation, almost tripping when he stopped. He looked at her with such a chill in his eyes she almost let go. Almost.

  “Madison!” Logan barked from behind her.

  Madison didn’t turn back. Her fingers tightened reflexively on Cole’s arm and she looked up at him. His face was set, cold and drawn with lines of anger. And sadness. Her chest constricted. She’d done this to him.

  “Please.” She pleaded.

  The stairwell sat just a few feet to the right and she tugged Cole toward it. At first he seemed immoveable, but then he followed and it gave Madison the barest glimmer of hope.

  They cleared the door and Cole pushed past, yanking free of her hold as if her touch offended him. The door closed behind her with a discordant thud and a swish of air.

  Madison leaned against it. Blocking his escape. Cole gripped the railing of the landing with both hands, staring down toward the bottom of the stairwell as if it held all the answers. He could still race off down the stairs if he wanted to, but she would chase him…she glanced down at her five-inch heels.

  Even if it killed her.

  He looked up then, his expression a heart-wrenching mix of anger and hurt. Starkness.

  “Are you fucking him?”

  Madison’s jaw dropped. “What? No!” She shook her head vehemently. That he thought she would go to
Logan…after everything they had done together. Ouch. That hurt. “I needed a job. Logan was the only person who could give me one. It’s just for a few months.” She tried to explain. “Until I gain experience.”

  “What’s wrong with the job I gave you?” Cole’s eyes glittered dangerously. “Oh, that’s right. It wasn’t good enough for you.”

  His words were laced with scorn that bit right through her. Madison shifted, locking her knees so her legs wouldn’t buckle under the weight of his loathing.

  “I need real experience if I’m going to take care of myself. We both know our arrangement is only temporary.” She lifted her eyes to meet his stare, daring Cole to refute the fact her future didn’t involve him.

  His harsh expression faltered but he didn’t deny it.

  “Logan owes me and he’s still getting my allowance,” she hurried on. “Why shouldn’t he pay for that?”

  “And what about Jess? Did she figure in your plans?”

  Madison blinked. “Of course!” She let go of the solidness of the door to draw closer to Cole. “I’m still going for walks with her. I’m still taking her to the gym.” She laid the tips of her fingers on his arm and looked up into the stiff set of his face. “I could never forget Jess. If she needed me, I’d walk away from this in a second.”

  Cole looked skeptical, but Madison held fast. She’d spoken the truth. She would never abandon Jess. She wouldn’t willingly leave Cole.

  His grip tightened on the railing. “So, you’re doing this to punish Logan?” He snorted in disbelief.

  “No.” Madison huffed out a breath. “Yes,” she conceded, almost crying when she felt the tension in the air easing. “It seemed fitting.” She gave a deprecating laugh. “Believe me, he’s getting a raw deal. I can’t even work the filing system.”

  “Don’t ever sell yourself short.”

  Madison barely saw Cole move but the next moment he buried his head in her hair, a sigh torn from deep inside as he trapped her in his arms. Tears pricked at the back of her lids and a pang of regret shook her. She fisted her hands in his shirt, feathering her lips across his cheek. Needing his touch. He turned to meet her kiss with a hunger that made her go weak. Fierce. Hot. Demanding.