Baby on the Oregon Trail

by Lynna Banning

  The wagon rolled past a manicured, tree-shaded park with a white gazebo and a raised bed of bright yellow roses. Lee’s eyes shone. “This country is perfect for horses. Devil will get fat within a week.”

  “I am more concerned about its being perfect for three girls and a baby. Lee, I need to look for a place for us to live.”

  Without a word, he turned down a wide street lined on both sides with chestnut trees and trim houses, some with beautiful gardens—orange zinnias, blue bachelor buttons, and red and yellow roses everywhere.

  “Is this where we’re gonna live?” Ruthie asked.

  “Maybe,” Jenna said. Over the girl’s head she exchanged a long look with Lee.

  “Stop!” she shouted suddenly. Lee pulled the team to a halt in front of a brown two-story house with a hand-lettered sign in the bowed front window that read Boarders Wanted.

  She thrust the baby into Lee’s arms and was off the bench in a flurry of petticoats. The girls poked their heads out of the wagon and watched her march up the steps onto the porch and ring the bell.

  The door opened, and a diminutive, silver-haired women in a crisp black dress looked at her inquiringly.

  Jenna cleared her throat. “Excuse me, your sign said you are looking for boarders?”

  “Oh, my stars, yes.” The sharp blue eyes moved past her to the wagon. “I see you have a family.”

  “There are five of us. Three girls and a baby.”

  The woman tipped her head toward the wagon. “And a husband?”

  “Oh, no. We are not married.”

  The silvery eyebrows went up. “Living in sin, are you?”

  “Oh, no, I—”

  “Makes no never mind to me, dearie. I could use a good man around the place. I’m getting too old to chop wood, and my last boarder, a preacher man, moved on to Portland. Said there were more souls to save in the city. Fact is, I was just about to give up and move back to Iowa.”

  Jenna introduced herself and waited politely.

  “I’m Della Bueller. Been a widow for nineteen years, I have. Been renting out rooms to make ends meet, but with Reverend Snell gone...”

  “Perhaps my older girls could help with the chores.”

  The woman’s eyes brightened with interest. “Could they, now?”

  “Yes, and I... I could share the cooking and run errands and...”

  “Why, you’ve been sent from heaven, you have.”

  “Could we move in right away? We have traveled all across the country, from St. Louis, and my girls need to start school.”

  “Mrs. Borland, you come right on in, and make yourself at home. Bring your girls, too. You can have your pick of the rooms upstairs. It’s two dollars a week, including meals. Might charge less if you help out and the girls spend some time in the kitchen.”

  “Well?” Lee queried when she returned to the wagon.

  “We have rooms!” Jenna was so excited her voice shook. She climbed up onto the bench and lifted Robbie out of his arms.

  Ruthie tugged at her sleeve. “Can Mister Lee have a room, too?”

  Lee laid his hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Mister Lee is moving on, honey. He’s going to find some land and start a ranch.”

  “Why?” Ruthie’s face clouded. “Don’t you like us?”

  He caught Jenna’s eye and his mouth tightened. “Yes, I like you,” he said, his voice rough. “All of you. I like you a lot.”

  “But,” Jenna interjected, “Mister Lee can’t raise horses in a town, can he? He has to find someplace with lots of room and grass and...well, grass.”

  “Oh.” Ruthie studied the toes of her raggedy leather shoes. “I don’t like grass.”

  Lee sucked in a gulp of air. “How about I help you unload the wagon and take it on down to the livery. Then maybe we could all eat supper together at the hotel before I leave. What do you say?”

  “Yes!” Tess sang from inside the wagon.

  “Can I have a steak?” Mary Grace shouted.

  “Me, too,” Ruthie said. “I want steak.”

  Lee’s gray eyes sought Jenna’s. “How about it, Jenna? Now that we’re finally here, maybe we should celebrate.”

  “Yes, thank you, Lee. That is a lovely idea.” Her words sounded stiff, even to her. The truth was she felt stiff. In fact, she felt frozen inside at the prospect of a farewell meal with Lee Carver.

  Jenna and the girls lugged all their belongings upstairs while Mrs. Bueller busied herself in the kitchen, storing the extra food Lee carried in. Jenna insisted that Lee keep the skillet and the kettles and all the cooking utensils.

  “You will need them on your ranch, Lee. Take them.”

  Jenna chose an upstairs room with two tall windows that looked out on the street, flanking a narrow bed with a crocheted coverlet in blue and cream. She especially liked the wallpaper, sprigged with tiny blue and white flowers. At Mrs. Bueller’s direction, Lee wrestled an old hand-carved cradle down from the attic and installed it next to the bed.

  Tess and Mary Grace chose the large room across the hall with two beds separated by a large walnut armoire and a small cot with a ruffled yellow quilt for Ruthie.

  When everything was unloaded from the wagon, Lee drove off down the street and Mrs. Bueller began heating water for the first hot baths Jenna and the girls had enjoyed in months. Afterward, Jenna fed Robbie, dressed slowly in her best gingham frock and brushed out her hair.

  She dreaded supper with Lee. It would be the last time she would see him. Ever.

  A fist-sized lump lodged in her throat.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  “Just look!” Tess exclaimed that evening, her hazel eyes widening. “Real tablecloths!”

  “And napkins,” Mary Grace added in an awed voice. “Real cloth napkins.” The older girls seated themselves at the center table in the Morning Glory Hotel dining room and Ruthie climbed up next to Mary Grace.

  Lee’s hand pressed gently at Jenna’s waist, guiding her forward. He settled her in the upholstered chair and maneuvered Baby Rob’s wicker basket onto the empty seat beside her. Then he pulled up his chair next to her and folded his long legs under the table.

  He’d shaved, she noted. She wished he hadn’t. He was too attractive without the dark stubble she had grown used to. She swallowed and dropped her gaze to the menu in front of her. Looking at him made her throat feel tight.

  “Steak,” all three girls announced when the waitress came for their orders.

  “Small ones,” Jenna murmured as the girl scratched her pencil across the pad.

  “I’d like the meat loaf,” Jenna decided. “With mashed potatoes and gravy. And some tea, please.”

  “And for you, sir?”

  “Steak. Large. Medium rare. Lots of fried potatoes. And coffee. Oh, and milk for the girls.”

  “I guess we haven’t been feeding you enough, have we?” Jenna observed with a tight smile.

  Lee didn’t answer. In fact he said nothing until the waitress returned with Jenna’s tea and his coffee. After his first gulp, he leaned toward her. “Not near as good as yours,” he whispered.

  “Maybe you should ask her to add some medicinal whiskey,” Jenna murmured. She wouldn’t mind a generous dollop of whiskey herself right about now; her insides were feeling more cold and heavy with every passing minute. She sipped her tea, and the diners lapsed into an awkward silence.

  “While you were getting settled today, I heard some news,” Lee said at last. “About our fellow emigrants.”

  Instantly Tess perked up. “Tell us! Is it about Jimmy Gum—Uh, the Gumperts?”

  “Some of it. Emil Gumpert has a job at the bank. He and Hulda will be living just three blocks from your boardinghouse. I bet Jimmy could walk you girls to school.”

  “What about me?
” Ruthie asked. “I wanna go to school, too.”

  “You’re too little for school,” Tess grumbled.

  “Am not!”

  “Are too!”

  Jenna rapped her knife sharply against her plate. “Girls, what did I say about arguing in public?”

  “In private, too,” Ruthie added. “Mister Lee, I’m not too little for school, am I? I already learned some ’rench.”

  “I think Jimmy will walk with you, too, honey,” Lee said with a grin. “Now,” he added quickly, “you all want to hear some more news?”

  “Yes!” three voices chorused.

  “All right, listen up. Sam and Emma Lincoln have bought a small farm just outside of town. Mary Grace, Sam said he’d board your horse for you.”

  “He won’t need to,” Mary Grace said, her voice quiet. “Lee, I want you to take Red for your ranch. You’ll need more than a stallion to start a herd. You’ll need a mare, too.”

  “Oh, honey, I couldn’t—”

  “I want you to have her, Lee. To remember us by.”

  Jenna shot a look at his face. His mouth twisted, and his eyes looked suspiciously shiny.

  “I will always remember you,” he said, “horse or no horse.” His voice sounded raspy.

  “What other news do you have?” Jenna asked quickly.

  Lee cleared his throat. “Let’s see now. I ran into Ted Zaberskie at the mercantile. He’ll be working at the newspaper office. He and Sophia will live in the apartment upstairs. And Mick McKernan...”

  He stopped and waited until he had the girls’ complete attention. “I want you to stay away from McKernan’s blacksmith shop, understand?”

  Jenna and the girls nodded. “I don’t like him,” Tess announced. “Or his brother, either. We won’t go anywhere near their shop.”

  Lee grinned at her. “Doc Engelman’s setting up his practice next to the dressmaker. Can’t recall the lady’s name, but she said... Can’t remember what she said, either.”

  Everyone laughed and then lapsed into a gloomy silence. The waitress brought their meals, but one by one the girls put down their forks and stared at their plates.

  Lee frowned. “What’s wrong?”

  “N-nothing,” Mary Grace said. Tess gave a little choked sob, and Ruthie’s blue eyes flooded. Even Jenna looked stricken.

  Carefully he laid his fork on his plate. “What is it?”

  “You’re going away,” Jenna said, her voice quiet.

  “Yeah, I am. But I don’t want you to leave three good steaks uneaten just because of that.”

  “I’m not hungry anymore,” Ruthie said, her eyes swimming.

  Lee touched her shoulder. “You remember how hungry we got on our journey? Seems to me that we shouldn’t waste good food. Besides,” he said, bending toward Ruthie, “if you eat up all your steak, you’ll grow up faster and then you can go to school.”

  “Oh.” Reluctantly Ruthie picked up her fork, and Lee leaned over to cut her meat into small bites.

  “And,” he addressed Tess and Mary Grace together, “steak makes girls grow up to be beautiful.”

  Both girls looked at each other and reached for their knives.

  “What about meat loaf?” Jenna couldn’t resist asking.

  “What about it?” he said, his voice bland.

  She rolled her eyes.

  “Meat loaf,” he murmured near her ear, “makes a woman love a steak-eating man.”

  “Oh, Lee, I don’t need meat loaf for...” Her voice wobbled. “Oh, dear.” She pressed her fingers over her mouth.

  Under the table he sought her hand. “Jenna,” he breathed. “For God’s sake, don’t cry.”

  She nodded, her eyes wet.

  When supper was over, Lee lifted Baby Rob’s basket and ushered Jenna and the girls out onto the board sidewalk where he’d left Devil tethered to the hitching rail, saddlebags bulging.

  “Is that all you’re taking?” Jenna managed, eyeing the animal.

  “Nope. Got a pack mule loaded up and waiting at the livery.”

  She lifted her chin. “Oh.”

  Lee folded Tess into a hug, and when she let out a shuddery breath he smacked a kiss on her cheek. Then he turned to Mary Grace. “I’ll give your mare the best feed I can afford. And I’ll name her first foal after you, shall I?”

  The girl nodded, unable to speak. She reached up and touched his cheek.

  Ruthie clung to his pant leg with both thin arms, tears bathing her cheeks. Lee gently pried her fingers away from the denim. “You have to let go, honey. I need to speak to Jenna.”

  He entrusted the baby’s basket to Tess, took Jenna’s arm and walked her around the corner out of sight of the girls.

  “Lee...”

  “Don’t say anything, Jenna. Just kiss me.” He took her in his arms and covered her mouth. God, it was hard to stop kissing her. It was even harder to let her go.

  “Don’t forget me,” he whispered.

  “You know I won’t. Ever.”

  “Do you need any money?”

  “No. Mrs. Bueller is reducing our rent in exchange for help in the kitchen, and besides, I have some money saved up. And if we run short I can always give piano lessons.”

  “Be happy,” he breathed. He kissed her again, walked her back around the corner and moved to his horse. “Goodbye, Jenna.” He touched his hand to her cheek. “I wouldn’t trade these past five months with you for anything on this earth.”

  He stepped into the stirrup, reined away with a single backward glance and was gone.

  Jenna waved until she could no longer see the tall, lean figure on the black horse, pressing her lips together hard to keep them from trembling.

  “I feel awful,” Ruthie complained.

  “Too much steak,” Tess observed.

  “No,” Mary Grace contradicted. “Not enough of Lee.”

  “You,” Jenna murmured to her middle stepdaughter as they headed toward the boardinghouse, “are getting to be wise beyond your years.”

  “And you,” Mary Grace whispered back, “are gonna miss Lee more than any of us, and you know it.” She slid her arm about Jenna’s waist and laid her head against Jenna’s shoulder.

  Jenna opened her mouth to reply but found she couldn’t speak. She knew she was doing the right thing, for Lee and for herself, but her heart felt like it was shattering into a million tiny, sharp-edged pieces.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  With the crisp days of fall, Tess and Mary Grace started school, walking the short distance to the red-brick schoolhouse each day with tall, gangly Jimmy Gumpert, who tactfully divided his attention between the two girls. Ruthie had daily lessons with Jenna in reading and sums, and little Robbie nursed and slept and cried and nursed some more, as regular as clockwork.

  Jenna couldn’t shake her lethargy or her sadness. She attributed both to the demands of motherhood, taking care of Ruthie and guiding the two older girls, and helping Mrs. Bueller in the kitchen as much as possible. And then there was Tess’s occasional grumbling and Mary Grace’s quarrelsome attitude. Both girls had sweetened considerably, but some days they seemed unusually out of sorts. Sharp-eyed Della Bueller just observed the goings-on with her birdlike blue eyes and smiled to herself.

  November came. Ruthie clamored for more words in French, and then one rainy afternoon she discovered Mrs. Bueller’s upright piano. Jenna began to teach all the girls music, but it was Ruthie who excelled. She could pick out any tune she heard, and she remembered the words to every song and she sang it on pitch. Her favorite was “Frère Jacques,” Jenna suspected because the words were in French.

  Baby Rob grew round and bright-eyed and was starting to make happy gurgly sounds. Jenna enjoyed the hours spent playing peekaboo with him, but at night, after she fed h
im, she lay on her narrow bed and stared up at the ceiling for hours.

  Had Lee started that horse ranch he wanted so much? Did he have enough to eat? A warm jacket to wear now that winter was coming? If it was snowing here in Heavenly, it must be blowing blizzards farther north, with bitter wind and perhaps sleet and frozen rivers.

  She prayed he was all right, safe and well and warm. Had he built a barn? A house? Oh, she hoped he had a big fireplace and plenty of firewood.

  Christmas was two weeks away, but Jenna felt oddly disinterested in the festivities. The girls decorated a tall Douglas fir that stocky, bearded Ted Zaberskie dragged into the house and set up in the front parlor. Tess and Mary Grace made chains of colored paper and looped strings of popcorn and cranberries over the fragrant branches, but Jenna noticed that both girls were subdued.

  A few days before Christmas, Jenna’s feeling of emptiness bloomed into an uneasy depression. What was the matter with her? She had everything she needed—food, warm clothing for the girls and herself, a safe place to stay at the boardinghouse, but...

  But what? One rainy afternoon she sank to the floor beside the decorated tree and buried her face against her knees. What on earth was wrong with her?

  You miss Lee.

  Yes, she admitted. She did miss him. His absence had left an unexpected Lee-shaped hole in her heart.

  Ruthie slipped into the parlor and plopped down beside her. “How come you’re crying, Jenna?”

  “I guess I’m just sad, honey. It’s wet and cold outside and...”

  “I want Mister Lee to come back,” the girl announced. “You want Mister Lee to come back, don’tcha, Jenna?”

  “Yes.” She wiped her snuffly nose on an already sodden handkerchief. “But we must make the best of things. We will all celebrate Christmas and give thanks for the good things we have.”