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The Annotated Collected Poems

Page 5

by Edna Longley

Had one like me entered those doors,

  Save once. That time I dared: ‘You may

  Recall’ – but never-foamless shores

  30

  Make better friends than those dull boors.

  Many and many a day like this

  Aimed at the unseen moving goal

  And nothing found but remedies

  For all desire. These made not whole;

  35

  They sowed a new desire, to kiss

  Desire’s self beyond control,

  Desire of desire. And yet

  Life stayed on within my soul.

  One night in sheltering from the wet

  40

  I quite forgot I could forget.

  A customer, then the landlady

  Stared at me. With a kind of smile

  They hesitated awkwardly:

  Their silence gave me time for guile.

  45

  Had anyone called there like me,

  I asked. It was quite plain the wile

  Succeeded. For they poured out all.

  And that was naught. Less than a mile

  Beyond the inn, I could recall

  50

  He was like me in general.

  He had pleased them, but I less.

  I was more eager than before

  To find him out and to confess,

  To bore him and to let him bore.

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  I could not wait: children might guess

  I had a purpose, something more

  That made an answer indiscreet.

  One girl’s caution made me sore,

  Too indignant even to greet

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  That other had we chanced to meet.

  I sought then in solitude.

  The wind had fallen with the night; as still

  The roads lay as the ploughland rude,

  Dark and naked, on the hill.

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  Had there been ever any feud

  ’Twixt earth and sky, a mighty will

  Closed it: the crocketed dark trees,

  A dark house, dark impossible

  Cloud-towers, one star, one lamp, one peace

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  Held on an everlasting lease:

  And all was earth’s, or all was sky’s;

  No difference endured between

  The two. A dog barked on a hidden rise;

  A marshbird whistled high unseen;

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  The latest waking blackbird’s cries

  Perished upon the silence keen.

  The last light filled a narrow firth

  Among the clouds. I stood serene,

  And with a solemn quiet mirth,

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  An old inhabitant of earth.

  Once the name I gave to hours

  Like this was melancholy, when

  It was not happiness and powers

  Coming like exiles home again,

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  And weaknesses quitting their bowers,

  Smiled and enjoyed, far off from men,

  Moments of everlastingness.

  And fortunate my search was then

  While what I sought, nevertheless,

  90

  That I was seeking, I did not guess.

  That time was brief: once more at inn

  And upon road I sought my man

  Till once amid a tap-room’s din

  Loudly he asked for me, began

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  To speak, as if it had been a sin,

  Of how I thought and dreamed and ran

  After him thus, day after day:

  He lived as one under a ban

  For this: what had I got to say?

  100

  I said nothing. I slipped away.

  And now I dare not follow after

  Too close. I try to keep in sight,

  Dreading his frown and worse his laughter.

  I steal out of the wood to light;

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  I see the swift shoot from the rafter

  By the inn door: ere I alight

  I wait and hear the starlings wheeze

  And nibble like ducks: I wait his flight.

  He goes: I follow: no release

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  Until he ceases. Then I also shall cease.

  Birds’ Nests

  The summer nests uncovered by autumn wind,

  Some torn, others dislodged, all dark,

  Everyone sees them: low or high in tree,

  Or hedge, or single bush, they hang like a mark.

  5

  Since there’s no need of eyes to see them with

  I cannot help a little shame

  That I missed most, even at eye’s level, till

  The leaves blew off and made the seeing no game.

  ’Tis a light pang. I like to see the nests

  10

  Still in their places, now first known,

  At home and by far roads. Boys knew them not,

  Whatever jays and squirrels may have done.

  And most I like the winter nest deep-hid

  That leaves and berries fell into:

  15

  Once a dormouse dined there on hazel-nuts,

  And grass and goose-grass seeds found soil and grew.

  The Mountain Chapel

  Chapel and gravestones, old and few,

  Are shrouded by a mountain fold

  From sound and view

  Of life. The loss of the brook’s voice

  5

  Falls like a shadow. All they hear is

  The eternal noise

  Of wind whistling in grass more shrill

  Than aught as human as a sword,

  And saying still:

  10

  ‘’Tis but a moment since man’s birth

  And in another moment more

  Man lies in earth

  For ever; but I am the same

  Now, and shall be, even as I was

  15

  Before he came;

  Till there is nothing I shall be.’

  Yet there the sun shines after noon

  So cheerfully

  The place almost seems peopled, nor

  20

  Lacks cottage chimney, cottage hearth:

  It is not more

  In size than is a cottage, less

  Than any other empty home

  In homeliness.

  25

  It has a garden of wild flowers

  And finest grass and gravestones warm

  In sunshine hours

  The year through. Men behind the glass

  Stand once a week, singing, and drown

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  The whistling grass

  Their ponies munch. And yet somewhere,

  Near or far off, there’s a man could

  Be happy here,

  Or one of the gods perhaps, were they

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  Not of inhuman stature dire,

  As poets say

  Who have not seen them clearly; if

  At sound of any wind of the world

  In grass-blades stiff

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  They would not startle and shudder cold

  Under the sun. When gods were young

  This wind was old.

  The Manor Farm

  The rock-like mud unfroze a little and rills

  Ran and sparkled down each side of the road

  Under the catkins wagging in the hedge.

  But earth would have her sleep out, spite of the sun;

  5

  Nor did I value that thin gilding beam

  More than a pretty February thing

  Till I came down to the old Manor Farm,

  And church and yew-tree opposite, in age

  Its equals and in size. The church and yew

  10

  And farmhouse slept in a Sunday silentness.

  The air raised not a straw. The steep farm roof,

  With tiles duskily glowing, entertained

  The midd
ay sun; and up and down the roof

  White pigeons nestled. There was no sound but one.

  15

  Three cart-horses were looking over a gate

  Drowsily through their forelocks, swishing their tails

  Against a fly, a solitary fly.

  The Winter’s cheek flushed as if he had drained

  Spring, Summer, and Autumn at a draught

  20

  And smiled quietly. But ’twas not Winter –

  Rather a season of bliss unchangeable

  Awakened from farm and church where it had lain

  Safe under tile and thatch for ages since

  This England, Old already, was called Merry.

  An Old Song I

  I was not apprenticed nor ever dwelt in famous Lincolnshire;

  I’ve served one master ill and well much more than seven year;

  And never took up to poaching as you shall quickly find;

  But ’tis my delight of a shiny night in the season of the year.

  5

  I roamed where nobody had a right but keepers and squires, and there

  I sought for nests, wild flowers, oak sticks, and moles, both far and near,

  And had to run from farmers, and learnt the Lincolnshire song:

  ‘Oh, ’tis my delight of a shiny night in the season of the year.’

  I took those walks years after, talking with friend or dear,

  10

  Or solitary musing; but when the moon shone clear

  I had no joy or sorrow that could not be expressed

  By ‘’Tis my delight of a shiny night in the season of the year.’

  Since then I’ve thrown away a chance to fight a gamekeeper;

  And I less often trespass, and what I see or hear

  15

  Is mostly from the road or path by day: yet still I sing:

  ‘Oh, ’tis my delight of a shiny night in the season of the year.’

  For if I am contented, at home or anywhere,

  Or if I sigh for I know not what, or my heart beats with some fear,

  It is a strange kind of delight to sing or whistle just:

  20

  ‘Oh, ’tis my delight of a shiny night in the season of the year.’

  And with this melody on my lips and no one by to care,

  Indoors, or out on shiny nights or dark in open air,

  I am for a moment made a man that sings out of his heart:

  ‘Oh, ’tis my delight of a shiny night in the season of the year.’

  An Old Song II

  The sun set, the wind fell, the sea

  Was like a mirror shaking:

  The one small wave that clapped the land

  A mile-long snake of foam was making

  5

  Where tide had smoothed and wind had dried

  The vacant sand.

  A light divided the swollen clouds

  And lay most perfectly

  Like a straight narrow footbridge bright

  10

  That crossed over the sea to me;

  And no one else in the whole world

  Saw that same sight.

  I walked elate, my bridge always

  Just one step from my feet:

  15

  A robin sang, a shade in shade:

  And all I did was to repeat:

  ‘I’ll go no more a-roving

  With you, fair maid.’

  The sailors’ song of merry loving

  20

  With dusk and sea-gull’s mewing

  Mixed sweet, the lewdness far outweighed

  By the wild charm the chorus played:

  ‘I’ll go no more a-roving

  With you, fair maid:

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  A-roving, a-roving, since roving’s been my ruin,

  I’ll go no more a-roving with you, fair maid.’

  In Amsterdam there dwelt a maid –

  Mark well what I do say –

  In Amsterdam there dwelt a maid

  30

  And she was a mistress of her trade:

  I’ll go no more a-roving

  With you, fair maid:

  A-roving, a-roving, since roving’s been my ruin,

  I’ll go no more a-roving with you, fair maid.

  The Combe

  The Combe was ever dark, ancient and dark.

  Its mouth is stopped with bramble, thorn, and briar;

  And no one scrambles over the sliding chalk

  By beech and yew and perishing juniper

  5

  Down the half precipices of its sides, with roots

  And rabbit holes for steps. The sun of Winter,

  The moon of Summer, and all the singing birds

  Except the missel-thrush that loves juniper,

  Are quite shut out. But far more ancient and dark

  10

  The Combe looks since they killed the badger there,

  Dug him out and gave him to the hounds,

  That most ancient Briton of English beasts.

  The Hollow Wood

  Out in the sun the goldfinch flits

  Along the thistle-tops, flits and twits

  Above the hollow wood

  Where birds swim like fish –

  5

  Fish that laugh and shriek –

  To and fro, far below

  In the pale hollow wood.

  Lichen, ivy, and moss

  Keep evergreen the trees

  10

  That stand half-flayed and dying,

  And the dead trees on their knees

  In dog’s-mercury and moss:

  And the bright twit of the goldfinch drops

  Down there as he flits on thistle-tops.

  The New Year

  He was the one man I met up in the woods

  That stormy New Year’s morning; and at first sight,

  Fifty yards off, I could not tell how much

  Of the strange tripod was a man. His body,

  5

  Bowed horizontal, was supported equally

  By legs at one end, by a rake at the other:

  Thus he rested, far less like a man than

  His wheel-barrow in profile was like a pig.

  But when I saw it was an old man bent,

  10

  At the same moment came into my mind

  The games at which boys bend thus, High-cockolorum,

  Or Fly-the-garter, and Leap-frog. At the sound

  Of footsteps he began to straighten himself;

  His head rolled under his cape like a tortoise’s;

  15

  He took an unlit pipe out of his mouth

  Politely ere I wished him ‘A Happy New Year’,

  And with his head cast upward sideways muttered –

  So far as I could hear through the trees’ roar –

  ‘Happy New Year, and may it come fastish, too,’

  20

  While I strode by and he turned to raking leaves.

  The Source

  All day the air triumphs with its two voices

  Of wind and rain:

  As loud as if in anger it rejoices,

  Drowning the sound of earth

  5

  That gulps and gulps in choked endeavour vain

  To swallow the rain.

  Half the night, too, only the wild air speaks

  With wind and rain,

  Till forth the dumb source of the river breaks

  10

  And drowns the rain and wind,

  Bellows like a giant bathing in mighty mirth

  The triumph of earth.

  The Penny Whistle

  The new moon hangs like an ivory bugle

  In the naked frosty blue;

  And the ghylls of the forest, already blackened

  By Winter, are blackened anew.

  5

  The brooks that cut up and increase the forest,

  As if they had never known

  The sun, are roaring with black hollow voices<
br />
  Betwixt rage and a moan.

  But still the caravan-hut by the hollies

  10

  Like a kingfisher gleams between:

  Round the mossed old hearths of the charcoal-burners

  First primroses ask to be seen.

  The charcoal-burners are black, but their linen

  Blows white on the line;

  15

  And white the letter the girl is reading

  Under that crescent fine;

  And her brother who hides apart in a thicket,

  Slowly and surely playing

  On a whistle an olden nursery melody,

  20

  Says far more than I am saying.

  A Private

  This ploughman dead in battle slept out of doors

  Many a frosty night, and merrily

  Answered staid drinkers, good bedmen, and all bores:

  ‘At Mrs Greenland’s Hawthorn Bush,’ said he,

  5

  ‘I slept.’ None knew which bush. Above the town,

  Beyond ‘The Drover’, a hundred spot the down

  In Wiltshire. And where now at last he sleeps

  More sound in France – that, too, he secret keeps.

  Snow

  In the gloom of whiteness,

  In the great silence of snow,

  A child was sighing

  5

  And bitterly saying: ‘Oh,

  They have killed a white bird up there on her nest,

  The down is fluttering from her breast.’

  And still it fell through that dusky brightness

  On the child crying for the bird of the snow.

  Adlestrop

  Yes. I remember Adlestrop –

  The name, because one afternoon

  Of heat the express-train drew up there

  Unwontedly. It was late June.

  5

  The steam hissed. Someone cleared his throat.

  No one left and no one came

  On the bare platform. What I saw

  Was Adlestrop – only the name

  And willows, willow-herb, and grass,

 

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