All I Need

by Kathryn Shay

  “Who would know that?”

  “Firefighters.” Vanessa blew out a heavy breath. “What do you think I should do?”

  “Call Captain Zeleny and Chief Talbot. Get some help with this.”

  “You’re right.”

  “Want me to get them on the phone?”

  “Not the chief. He’s busy.” And sad, Vanessa thought. “Try to catch Bob Zeleny.”

  “I’m on it.” She reached the door and turned back. “Thanks for letting me in on this.”

  “You were right. You helped clarify the situation.”

  * * *

  Chase stood and faced Nancy. “This is interesting. You don’t look so vulnerable anymore. What’s going on?”

  A totally innocent expression. “What do you mean?”

  “A ticket to California doesn’t cost ten grand.”

  She raised her brows. “Okay, I’ll stay. You live on Cutler Drive in Rockford, right? Kassie goes to Martin Luther King High School and Colette to the elementary school near your house.” She glanced at a watch he hadn’t noticed before. “I’ll bet I can catch both of them today if I time this right.”

  Don’t lose it, Talbot. “What are you saying, Nancy?”

  “I’m going to start a relationship with my daughters.”

  “And you’ll stay in town to do that because I won’t pay your extortion?”

  “That’s a horrible word. I prefer incentive, to let your life remain like it is.”

  “What’s happened to you? You were weak and got on drugs. But you were never vicious.”

  “I’ve learned a lot in the last years.”

  “On the street?”

  “None of your business.” She shook her head impatiently. “Look, I’m running out of patience. Either give me money, or I’ll go find the kids.”

  “I’ll get an order of protection for them.”

  “Not before I get to them first. I can do a lot of damage while you go to court.”

  That was true. His heart beat at a clip. He couldn’t let this happen to two young girls who were still adjusting to their father’s death and coming to live with Chase.

  So he acted on impulse, sat down and picked up his checkbook. Then he heard, “And it’s gone up to fifteen thousand.”

  Fuck this. He wrote the check and handed it to her.

  “This is only for ten.”

  “Get out of here, Nancy. Right now.”

  * * *

  Vanessa said, “Thanks for meeting me for lunch, Bob.” They’d already eaten and were having coffee now at the café across the street.

  “No problem. But I don’t have any more information on the fire. My team’s been back twice. I gotta say, Vanessa, I’m only waiting until we get the report back from the lab in Syracuse before I close the case.”

  “You have to keep investigating. I’m going to tell you why, but as your boss, I’m asking you to keep this information to yourself.”

  “For how long?”

  “Until I get more.”

  He waited. Sipped his drink. She looked out the window and saw a mother walking her baby in one of those old-style prams. She’d loved those days with Holly.

  Finally, Zeleny said, “All right. Tell me.”

  “I got a call today.” She explained what the person had told her.

  “Christ. That’s nuts.”

  “Chase said his crew could never have started the fire intentionally, but firefighters have started fires in the past.”

  “In some cases.”

  She got out the papers she’d printed off the other day and read the first paragraph of one of the many articles she’d found on the subject. “Firefighter arson is a long-standing problem that affects departments and communities across the nation. History tells us that firefighter arson is not a new phenomenon. A number of media reports suggest there are likely over a hundred arrests per year. The number is small in comparison to the over one million firefighters nationwide, but the impact of these incidents on the department and the community is huge.”

  His cup hit the surface of the table noisily. “Damn it, Vanessa. I know all this. I didn’t contradict Chase when he denied it, because I can’t believe that of our guys, either. I’ve worked with most of them during my career in Rockford.”

  “I’m sorry. But I’m insisting we follow this trail.”

  His eyes narrowed. She knew he didn’t like being ordered around, and Chase had once accused her of treating him like “one of her subjects.” For a while now, Vanessa hadn’t liked pulling rank, had tried to treat all those who reported to her equally, but this was important. How to proceed? “I’m sorry to come off autocratic, Bob. Let me take back how I said that and ask you for your help.”

  “You clear this with your lawyer? It’s a dangerous road.”

  “I did. She wasn’t happy, but she said she wouldn’t stop me.”

  He sighed. “Okay, I’ll help, but I can’t do it right away. I’m conducting training next week that I have to prepare for. I imagine you don’t want another employee to handle something this sensitive.”

  “No, it’s too important.” She studied him. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’d like to get a private investigator to do the legwork. When you get back, we can assess the findings.”

  His deep forehead frown told her he was still unconvinced. “Bob, this is my parents we’re talking about.”

  “I know. Okay. I’ll go along. For now.”

  She picked up the bill. “My treat.”

  “It oughtta be.”

  * * *

  “I didn’t know where else to come.” Chase’s voice sounded gravelly. He could barely tolerate what was swirling inside him and made his throat thick. “I couldn’t go home like this.”

  “You did the right thing by coming to me, then.” Reed Macauley sat down on the chair opposite the one Chase had taken. He’d been in a meeting with some budget personnel, but Chase interrupted. Now, he asked, “What happened to throw you like this?”

  “I think I just made a huge mistake. One that can’t be rectified.”

  “Why don’t we see about that? Tell me what happened.”

  When Chase finished explaining to Reed about his meeting with Scott’s wife, his head was throbbing.

  Reed’s expression had gone dark. “That’s unforgivable.”

  Chase sighed. “I blew it.”

  “By handing over the money?”

  “Yeah. I panicked when she said she was going to see the girls right then.”

  “Before you try and convict yourself, know that any father could make that mistake. Hell, I probably would have done the same.”

  “Thanks. But how do I know she’ll go away?” He felt his gut tighten. “I can’t let her back into their lives.”

  “Her extortion shows me she’d be a terrible example for the girls. And since your body language says you’re still panicking, let’s talk about what it might look like if she saw Kassie and Colette again.”

  His blood pressure spiked. “That can’t happen. They’d get so mixed up. They’d never see through her.”

  “Maybe they’d see things you didn’t.”

  “Are you siding with her?”

  “Chase, of course not. But we don’t know anything about her. As I said, blackmail doesn’t speak well of her, but maybe we shouldn’t judge that Nancy seeing the kids would be catastrophic without more information.”

  He trusted this man and his instincts without hesitation. “How would I do that?”

  “A lot of ways. Maybe she’ll call again. Or you could hire somebody to find out where she is now and what she’s done with her life.”

  “I think I might lose it if I do nothing but wait. I’ll get her investigated.”

  “And try to hang on until you can see this more clearly and have enough facts to make a decision.” At his nod, Reed added, “Will you tell the girls she came to town asking to see them?”

  “How can I do that without saying she was only after money?”


  “I don’t know. You should consider the repercussions of hiding this from them, at least from Kassie, and her finding out anyway.”

  “I promised to be honest with her. Goddamn it!”

  “I know how you’re feeling, but we have to explore everything. Let’s make a few appointments so we can talk about it. We could call Delaney in, too. She might have more insight into your granddaughters’ reaction than I do.”

  “Yes, to both.”

  * * *

  Vanessa shouldn’t do it. She knew she shouldn’t, especially after what she’d decided about his firefighters today. But on her way out of work, she’d gone up to Chase’s office to see him. He’d left for the day. Now, in her car driving home, she clicked into the Bluetooth. “Call Chief Talbot.”

  Three rings, then, “Talbot here.”

  “Chase, it’s Vanessa.”

  He didn’t say anything.

  “Look, I know I shouldn’t have contact with you, but that visitor you got...I don’t know, I had a bad feeling about her, so I called to check to see if you’re all right.”

  “I can’t talk about this now.”

  “Where are you?”

  “On my way home.”

  “I’m driving, too. Pull over and I’ll come to you.”

  He consented without argument, which only made her more concerned. As she drove the ten minutes out of her way, she worried.

  His car was in the parking lot of a department store where he’d driven to. He’d texted his exact location and she drove up alongside him, got out, opened his door and slid inside.

  “You aren’t all right.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  Reaching over, she took his hand and held it in hers. He looked down at it, then into her eyes. The lot was lit well and she could see his eyes were as bleak as the sky before a storm.

  “Your hunch was right about my visitor. She crashed my world.”

  “Tell me how.”

  “She’s Nancy Talbot, Kassie and Colette’s mother.”

  “Oh, no. She looked so...downtrodden and fragile, I guess.”

  “I had the same impression. She wanted to see the girls and I said no, so she asked for a check to get back to California. For ten thousand dollars.”

  “Oh, Chase. This is so ugly. On so many levels.”

  “That’s how I feel.”

  “What did you do?”

  “Not the right thing. I gave it to her.”

  “Any parent wouldn’t be thinking clearly in this situation.”

  “I just left Reed Macaulay’s office. He talked me off the ledge.”

  She blurted out, “I wish I could have done that for you.”

  “We’re both a mess, Vanessa. I miss you and want you to be there for me during these kinds of things.”

  “Same here. But it’s only been nine days.”

  “I guess.”

  “Do you want to talk more about Nancy?”

  “No. I haven’t been home yet and I have to talk to Kassie about the drinking.” He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. Thanks for being here, though.”

  “I want to be here for more.”

  “Back at ya, darlin’.”

  * * *

  When he walked into his house, there was a note on the banister of the stairs. “Aunt Melinda came over to take us out to dinner. We’ll bring you something home.”

  “Shit.” Immediately, he texted his sister. The girls are with you?

  And in return, Yes. They said they left you a note.

  They did. I’m being overprotective.

  But he had to make sure they were safe from Nancy.

  No worries, Dad.

  Heading for the Scotch, he poured himself a hefty drink, went to the desk and took out his and Kassie’s journal. He smiled. Kassie had insisted they decorate it. Make a collage of sorts. She made him cut out pictures from magazines that represented his life, and she did the same for hers. The red rose in the middle had Dad written on it. His throat got tight as he ran his finger over the petals.

  He took a sip of his drink and opened the book up.

  Okay, Grandpa. You’re not gonna like this. I really screwed up...saw daughters and their fathers playing ping pong and other games...felt bad, then Colette came up to me and took my hand, told me she missed him too...outside with Suzanne and Marcy...and the Wicked Witch of the West caught us...she wasn’t though...listened to us...I promised...so this is it. Ground me for a month, if you want. I deserve it.

  Chase sat back against the couch and closed his eyes. He wasn’t a crier, though he’d shed tears over his son’s death. But now he wanted to bawl like a baby because Nancy had come back into their lives.

  To preclude that, he tossed out the drink, went upstairs and changed into workout clothes. He’d had the basement finished and furnished it with a treadmill and a universal gym. He ran like the devil was chasing him—a devil named Nancy—and did some weights. He managed to cool down with slow walking, and when he finished, he felt marginally better.

  As he came up the stairs that led to the kitchen, he heard, “Grandpa, we’re home.” In the foyer he found his sister, Colette and Kassie.

  Melinda crossed to him. “Hey there, buddy.” She hooked an arm around his shoulders. “You okay?”

  “A little worse for wear after working out.”

  “I’m tired,” Colette announced. “Put me to bed, Grandpa.”

  She held out her arms.

  “Sure.” He picked up the child, bade his sister goodbye and said to Kassie, “I’ll come talk to you in your room.”

  He held on tight to Colette as he climbed the steps. What would he do if these precious children he’d been given were taken away? It had only been nine months since they moved here, but would he survive another cataclysmic loss?

  “Grandpa, you’re hugging me too tight.”

  “Sorry, baby.”

  When they reached her room, he noticed the clock. An hour past her bedtime. “Can I go to sleep like this?”

  She wore light elastic-waist pants and a matching top. They could substitute for pajamas. He took off her coat and shoes and laid her on the bed. “Okay. You can brush your teeth in the morning.”

  She burrowed into her pillow. He drew up covers.

  “I love you so much, Colette.”

  On his way to Kassie’s room, he tried to shake the feeling of dread and loss. He knocked lightly. “Come in.”

  Inside, he was once again grateful for her room decor. Gone were the black wall and the black bedcovers she’d insisted on buying. Since her sessions with Delaney, she’d painted the wall a bright purple instead. Purple sheets and a quilt that she’d picked out with Melinda graced her bed, where she now sat. He rolled over the desk chair. “Hi, Kass.”

  “Hi, Grandpa.” She studied his face. “You read the journal finally.”

  “I’m sorry it took me two days.”

  “I’m not.”

  He chuckled. “Dr. Shaw said not to reiterate what was in the journal. I want to know if you’d like to add anything.”

  “Nope, that about covers it.” Tonight, she’d tied her dark hair off her face in a long ponytail, making her look young and innocent.

  “Second, I’m sorry you felt bad about your father at the FAN picnic.”

  “It just, kinda, hit me, you know?”

  “Oh, I know. But for the record, dealing with sadness by underage drinking isn’t the answer.” Not that he didn’t do the same with the scotch earlier. It didn’t make his point any less true, though.

  “I guess I wanted to strike back at the world some way.”

  He remembered his earlier workout. “I know that feeling, too.”

  She peered up at him with dark, dark eyes. “You miss him like I do.”

  “I do, honey. With every muscle and nerve in my body.”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks. He got up, sat on the edge of the bed and drew her to him.

  “I’m not crying so you’ll go easy on
me.”

  “I believe that. And Kass, you don’t always have to be so tough.”

  “Yeah, you and Aunt Melinda and Dr. S keep saying that.”

  “So,” he said drawing back, reining in his emotions. “For a week, I want you to come home directly after school. No going out with friends, no television or phone use. During that time, you can write in the journal and reflect on how you might deal with situations like this in the future.”

  “Okay. Can I ask you for pointers? And Dr. S?”

  “Of course.”

  She studied him. “I’m sorry I hurt you. And as a responsible granddaughter, I gotta tell you that’s a pretty lame punishment.”

  “I’m not much into punishment. I prefer constructive solutions.”

  “You been reading books about teenagers.”

  He had. “Yeah. I love you, Kass.”

  Swinging her feet around, she reached out and hugged him, tight. “I love you, too.”

  Chase held on to the declaration she’d never made before.

  Chapter 11

  * * *

  “Welcome to gentle yoga. I’m Cathy, and I’ll be your teacher for the next eight weeks. I see everyone brought his or her mat, so sit down on it in a cross-legged position.”

  Next to each other, both Vanessa and Holly obeyed the instructions.

  “Now, look at your knees. If they aren’t near the floor, it means your flexibility is limited. Take the bolster behind you and sit on it.”

  Mother and daughter slid the long, rectangular pillows to their butts and hiked up.

  “Now, do your knees go down farther?”

  There was a chorus of yeses.

  As the woman led them though some easy stretches that Holly had been doing in her workouts in the gym, her mind drifted to her mother’s invitation to take this class together and how Holly had reacted...

  “Then I guess it would be all right if I asked you about the idea that popped into my mind. Would you want to take a yoga class with me?”

  When she hesitated, her mother’s expression turned sad.

  “Oh, okay. I guess I was pushing too hard.”

  Holly reached out and grasped her arm. “No, no, Mom, you’re not.”

  “Then why do you look like you’re about to say no?”