Tearing Away (Fatally Flawed Book 1)

by Lassetter, Dusty

  “What do you mean threat Izzy, what are you talking about?” I ask her. Knowing Jasper will just tell me to drop it.

  “Your man threatened anyone that tried to go after you, he told everyone you are his to protect.”

  I look over at Jasper and see him shrug his shoulders, as if it’s no big deal. “I don’t want you to take on the whole school for me Jasper. Is this about London?”

  At the mention of her name, he turns rigid beside me, and his breathing grows heavier.

  “Nothing I do is ever about that bitch, I did it so you could feel safe in this school again, so you wouldn’t have to hide in a bathroom stall. We will talk about it later, our business is ours, and people are starting to listen.”

  “Okay.” I say, but feeling a little angry, I move my hand from his. He just smiles and gets up making me think he is going to leave. Suddenly I am pulled from my desk and picked up, just to be brought back down again. This time on his lap.

  “Don’t move gorgeous. You wouldn’t want to cause a scene would you?” Jasper whispers into my ear.

  Izzy is setting back in her chair, laughing. I can only imagine what I look like right now. Giving up I just relax into his warm body, listening to Izzy gossip about everything else that happened last week in my absence.

  Chapter 14

  Jasper

  Coach Roy is waiting for me at the door of the gym when I arrive after school. He tells me there is a lot of talk about the fight coming up in November. He seems to think they are going to promote this one to be bigger. Meaning this could be my big break. This could be the fight that sets me on the path to the middleweight belt. I’m right on point with my weight and my training is going as planned. I will win this fight. I will show everyone I can one-day fight professionally.

  Today we are working on movement. As a MMA fighter you have to be well rounded in many types of fighting, but Roy believes to be a great fighter you must work on more than just fighting. We need to work on balance, movement, and precision. There are times when playing with a long stick, and throwing bing bags around, I get skeptical. Then I start to notice that I can stay balanced much easier. That my hits are on target every time. It’s all about allowing your body to become loose and trusting in your movement. Coach Roy was right, but I’ll never admit that out loud.

  I get home late after training. I worked on my cardio and ran six miles on a treadmill once Roy was done with me. I immediately change into my swimming trunks to go meet K.J. and Dalton in the pool. Swimming some laps will help relax me. With all this going on with Janice, I could feel how tense my muscles were today.

  Diving into the pool, I do two laps, before I stop about five feet from the guys. They are laughing and cutting up about something, so I tilt my chin up in question.

  “We were just discussing that the once badass, Jasper “The Finisher” Johnathan, has turned into Jasper “The Whipped” Johnathan.” Dalton says laughing in my direction.

  “That is bullshit. You should talk. Ever since Bethany quit hanging around London, you have been following her around like a hungry puppy trying to suck its mamma’s tit.” I say moving to the edge of the pool.

  “True, but it’s not just the tits I’m after!”

  I don’t know if he is trying to convince himself as much as he is us.

  “Good luck” K.J. says, “That girl is not like your other conquest, you’re going to actually have to work for it.”

  “I can’t wait to meet the girl that brings you to your knees.” I say, now talking to K.J.

  “That will never happen Jasper, it’s the girls that get on their knees when I’m around, not the other way around.”

  “Damn, you win man.” Dalton says, “He can’t be tamed, there isn’t a girl out there brave enough to try anyway.”

  They decide to order some pizza for dinner. I am on a strict diet for the fight, so it’s just salad with grilled chicken breast for me. I don’t mind it so much, it is a part of the life, and this is what I choose to do. Taking my salad to the couch, I sit down and prop my feet on the coffee table.

  Dalton’s mom decorated the house, she likes neutral colors she says they can go with anything. There are five different shades of beige throughout the house. The living room the darkest. The oak entertainment center sits in the middle of the room as the focal point. The three dark leather couches all sit around it. The room is actually big for just the three of us but every Halloween we throw a massive party. Well Dalton throws it. K.J. and I simply show up. He really enjoys doing it. We mainly hang out with one another and try to stay away from everyone.

  Candice doesn’t know about the party yet, since she is new to town. I have every intention on inviting her. Surprising her with something special for her birthday. Growing up no one ever made a big deal out of my birthday. My instincts tell me it was the same for her. So there will be a lot of planning on my part. I want to make it a night she will never forget.

  Chapter 15

  Candice

  It’s now two weeks before my birthday. The last part of August and the month of September went by in a blur. Jasper and I have gotten closer. He is still so protective and demanding, but it’s just a part of his charm. School is the same. I make good grades and do my work. The teachers seem to like me, all but my English teacher, Jasper is always making me late. Izzy thinks it’s sweet, she thinks everything Jasper does for me is sweet. My aunt agrees and constantly talks about the spark he has brought into my eyes. She says where there used to be shadows, she can now see a light in my eyes that shows how happy I have become. I guess she is right. I have Izzy, Jasper, Dalton, and even K.J. has grown on me. I can’t believe in just two months I have found a family. They accept me for who I am. What more could a girl like me ask for?

  I am texting Izzy, when Stacy comes into my room to show me the new outfits she bought for me at the mall yesterday. She is super excited that I agreed to wear something she picked out. The only rule I had was the shirts had to be long sleeved. Looking at the clothes I can see that is all she bought.

  “Put that phone down, and get your little butt in that bathroom to try on these clothes. I can’t wait to see you in them!” She says, grabbing my hand, pulling me up and off my bed.

  “Alright, alright, I’m going.” I grab the first outfit she puts in front of me. “Thank goodness you stuck with my color choices, I was worried you would bring me something pink.”

  Walking across the hall straight into my bathroom, I put on the faded blue jean capri pants, along with a sheer white and silver long sleeve shirt. The shirt is light and thin so I know it won’t be too hot. The last thing to go on are the pair of black flats. I walk out of the bathroom, Stacy waiting for me by the door.

  “You look wonderful honey. Jasper is going to love it.” She says beaming at me, “Why don’t you let me put your hair up, out of your face?”

  “Nope, that is not going to happen.” I state.

  “It was worth a try. What time is Jasper picking you up tonight?”

  “He should be here any minute,” I say going back into my room “The movie starts at six.”

  “You two be careful, and don’t stay out to late, it is a school night” She pauses on her way out the door and turns back around, “Candice, do you need to get on birth control?”

  The question throws me off guard. I was not expecting her to want to have the talk with me, especially without any warning. She must see the confusion on my face because she states, “It’s not like I don’t see the way you and Jasper have gotten close. I just want you to be prepared for anything. You’re almost eighteen and I trust you to make the right decisions. Plus, I’m not ready to be a great Aunt. Promise me you’ll just think about it.”

  I shake my head yes, indicating I will think about it, and she walks out the door closing it quietly. Well that was awkward, but the truth is, I’m ready to take the next step with Jasper. Maybe I should just get on the pill.

  Jasper picks me up ten minutes later. He is looking good
as usual. His face looks freshly shaven, his hair a sexy mess, like he just got out of bed. His jeans are black today, and the blue shirt makes his eyes shine bright. My aunt gives me a knowing look as we walk out the door. He’s on me as soon as the door shuts, attacking me with those perfect lips of his. He takes his time, exploring my mouth, making me whimper in response.

  “You look so beautiful” He says, “I couldn’t wait to taste you.”

  He takes my hand and walks me down the path to his truck, opens the door for me, and gives me a boost up with his hand on my butt. When I turn around to look at him, he winks and walks around to the driver side door.

  “What was with the look your aunt gave you as we were leaving?” He asks, always aware of what is going on around him.

  “Well she asked me if I wanted on birth control.” A blush instantly goes up my neck, rising onto my cheeks.

  “What did you say?” He asks, quickly looking at me, and then going back to paying attention to the road.

  “I told her I would think about it.” My hands are in my lap, and I’m picking at my finger nails trying to avoid looking at him, “I think I’m going to get on the pill.”

  “Good, I’ll ask Dalton’s mom for a good woman doctor, no man is going to get anywhere near what is mine. I’ll give you a list of names at school tomorrow.” He reaches over and entwines our fingers, “You should know, I’m clean. I am checked every month leading up to a fight. So you have nothing to worry about on my part.”

  The rest of the ride is silent. Him driving and messing with the radio, while I look out the window thinking about how different my life is now. I can’t have sex with Jasper until I let him know about my past. I don’t want there to be any secrets between us. Turning to look out my window, I think about everything I’ve been through, the nightmares I survived.

  “Candice no one blames you for what happened. There are not going to be any charges brought to you, this is a safe place for you to tell us what happened that night.” Officer Payton says. “Christopher cannot hurt you anymore.”

  I set in this chair, looking at the desk in front of me. A tiny woman with brown hair sitting by me, she said her name was Josephina, my caseworker, here to help me. For two weeks I stayed in that hospital, constantly reliving the nightmare that plays in my mind like a movie. The doctors were concerned about the head injury I sustained, from the edge of the table, when Christopher hit me and knocked me out. All I can think about are the thirty seconds it took me to become a monster, just like him. I still smell her blood, and see her lifeless eyes, staring back at me. It was supposed to be him. I aimed at him. The thing I regret most that night, was closing my eyes before I pulled the trigger, I missed the devil and shot an angel, my mother.

  “Look at me gorgeous” I hear Jasper say, “Where did you go?” he asks when I finally look up at him.

  I shake my head, trying to clear the memories away. I haven’t thought about that day in the station for a long time. Setting there at the age of thirteen, telling those people the story of me murdering my mother was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. When I woke up in the hospital, I knew what I had done when they told me my mother was found shot and killed. Christopher was nowhere to be seen and I was the only one who knew what happened that night. I refused to talk, if I didn’t say it out loud, it wasn’t true. So I kept my mouth shut. Until they told me they found Christopher, I knew he told them. I knew because I saw the pity in their eyes.

  “Sorry, I was just lost in thought I guess. We should get going, I want to grab some popcorn before the movie.” I say to him, pleading with my eyes for him to drop it.

  “Alright let’s go, but Candice, you will tell me before the end of the night.”

  Chapter 16

  Jasper

  I could tell she was distracted watching the movie, she probably doesn’t remember anything that happened in it. The way she zoned out in my truck, has me on edge. I have tried to be patient with her, allowing us to get to know each other better, before I start asking her a bunch of personal questions. Well now the wait is over. I’m going to find out what is going on by the end of the night.

  “Where are we going?” She asks, “This is not the way back to my house.” She looks nervous, which pisses me off.

  “Candice, I have never, and will never hurt you.” I say a little louder then I should, “Just trust me, can you do that?”

  “I already trust you Jasper, I’m just trying to build up the nerve to tell you something, I should have said a long time ago.”

  “Well it can wait until we get inside, I’ll come around and open your door.”

  I open the door for her, and help her out of the truck. Her mouth is wide open and she is rubbing her eyes to make sure she isn’t seeing things. The reaction is normal, I had it the first time too. Looking at Dalton, you wouldn’t know his parents are rich beyond anyone’s means.

  “This is where you live with Dalton and K.J.?” she asks, “This place is huge.”

  “Come on I’ll show you my room.” I say to her suggestively. I’m rewarded with the sweetest smile, I’ll never grow tired of, no matter how many times I see it.

  All the lights being off in the house, lets me know we are the only ones here. Not feeling up to giving her a grand tour tonight, I just walk through the dark doing what I’ve done many times before, and head straight for my room. Once we arrive at my door, I twist the door knob, and lead her in by the small of her back. She hesitantly walks forward not being able to see anything. I flip the switch to the dim lights and step in behind her.

  She stands there looking around my room. I’m a very simple guy. I don’t need much, so my room seems bare to most people. There is a king size bed, with a black comforter. My desk is sitting by the left side of my bed. A flat screen is mounted on the wall that Carolina insisted she buy me one year for Christmas. There is no need for a dresser, my closet is huge, with built in drawers.

  I walk to the bed, taking her by the hand and pulling her behind me. I sit down with her standing between my legs, our eyes locked on each other. I can tell she is getting anxious.

  “There is nothing you could tell me that will have me walking away from you.” I say to her, “Trust me with your secrets.”

  “You’ve seen this scar before.” She says, as she rolls up her sleeve, “But you have never seen this one.” She begins to roll up the sleeve on her other arm. There on her fair skin, is two long scars, that run from the beginning of her wrist to the crease of her elbow. They are not harsh, red scars, they look more like old surgery scars that have healed over time.

  “I was in therapy a lot, from the age of thirteen to fifteen. I couldn’t live with the dreams, or the memories anymore. Every time I looked in the mirror, I would see her eyes staring back at me. I could still smell her blood in the air. No matter how many times the therapist told me it was from PTSD. So one night I woke up and went to the bathroom. That’s when I saw her face in the mirror instead of my own. I decided right then and there, I had to end my life, I had to make right the wrong I had done.”

  She starts crying, tears silently rolling down her beautiful face. I can see the haunted look in her eyes, the one she gets when she is remembering her past.

  “I believed I was a monster just like Christopher, except I did the one thing he never could, I killed her. I killed the one person that always protected me from him. I returned the favor by shooting her in the heart. Back then I didn’t understand it was a horrible accident. I was aiming at him because he wouldn’t stop hitting her. She needed my help, she needed me to save her. Maybe if I kept my eyes open, my aim wouldn’t have been off. I still feel that way sometimes, that’s why I tried to take my own life. When I cut my arms, and saw the blood seeping out of the wounds on to the floor, I remember smiling. I was happy because the coppery scent I smelled was no longer hers, but mine.”

  I stand up and take her into my arms, rubbing small circles on her back. This amazing girl that I have fallen for has bee
n to hell and back, but she doesn’t see herself as the victim of a tragedy that she had no way of avoiding. She sees herself as a monster.

  “Who found you?” I ask, looking at those scars there had to of been a lot of blood loss. Which means she most likely passed out.

  “The son of my first foster parents.” She mumbles into my chest. “He was seventeen. Just getting home, wanting to take a shower. By time the ambulance arrived, I was already passed out from the blood loss. They said if the family wouldn’t have applied the pressure to my wounds when they did, I would not have survived the ride to the hospital.”

  I feel my shirt-growing wet, from her tears. I need to get us cleaned up so we can relax and get some sleep. I pick her up and walk her to the bathroom across the hall. She wraps her arms around me, and cradles her face into my neck. On my way to the bathroom, I notice that the lights are now on, and K.J exiting his room right down the hall from mine. He looks from me to her, I just shake my head, silently telling him not to say anything.

  Getting into the bathroom, I turn on the light and carefully set her down on the counter, and move her hair out of her face. Our eyes meet and I choose this time to tell her how I feel. “Gorgeous, you have become my everything, you may not have been able to save your mother, but every time those beautiful blue eyes look at me, you save a piece of my soul from being smothered out by the darkness.”

  I step back from her pulling my shirt off while turning around to walk toward the shower. After checking to make sure the temperature is how I want it, I start to unbutton my pants with my back still to her. The sound of my belt filling the room when it hits the floor. My boxers are next to go and once I’m fully naked I step into the shower. The door is opaque making it impossible to see one another.