by Hannah Ellis
“Stop giving me weird looks,” I finally said when we sat alone on the ferry. Simon and Yvonne had gone to find drinks. “What do you want to know?”
“I don’t want to pry if you don’t want to talk about it.”
“Just ask, will you?”
“Fine. So your dad lives in Australia?” I nodded. “And you’ve never met him?”
“Nope.”
“And what does he think about you coming to visit?”
I shifted in my seat. “He doesn’t know. I don’t even know if he knows I exist.”
“Wow!” he said. “That’s . . .”
“Crazy, isn’t it? I don’t even know if I can go through with it. He lives in this little town called Kununurra. I looked it up – it’s the middle of nowhere: crocodile country.”
“So your dad’s some Crocodile Dundee type?”
“I have no idea. I’ve been having such a great time over the past few weeks, I’m not sure I want to ruin it by finding out I’m the daughter of an alcoholic or a druggy or something.” I paused. “I don’t know anything about him. He might not live there any more. Or he might be a crazy recluse living in a hut in the outback!”
Andrew’s warm smile put me at ease. Initially I’d been annoyed at myself for blurting it all out to him, but it suddenly felt good to talk about it.
“You won’t know unless you find out. He might be a nice guy.”
“But even if he’s the nicest guy in the world, how’s he going to react when I turn up out of the blue and tell him I’m his daughter?”
Andrew’s eyes lingered on mine. “But you came all the way out here. Don’t back out now.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know what to do. I’m scared of what I’ll find if I go looking for him.”
He gave my hand a quick squeeze and then thankfully dropped the subject.
The boat trip was short and we were on the island before I knew it. Mokes – small open-topped cars – were the popular form of transport on the island . After a short wait to rent one, we got on our way, driving the dusty island roads to find our accommodation at the Koala Village.
“I quite like this place,” Yvonne remarked early in the evening as she lazed in a hammock in front of our bungalow. We were sharing with two other girls. Simon and Andrew were in another bungalow nearby. It was one of the nicer places I’d stayed, with a pool beside the bar and bungalows scattered around, each containing two dorm rooms. The grounds were immaculately kept and hammocks were plentiful. It was also conveniently located close to Horseshoe Bay – the site of the full moon party.
We’d had a dip in the pool when we arrived and then left the boys to get changed for the party. Yvonne insisted on getting a bottle of wine for us to drink while we got ready, but so far we’d just been trying to master the art of drinking cheap wine from plastic cups while swinging in hammocks. There was a lot of giggling. Yvonne seemed tipsy already.
“You look nice,” Andrew said, when we finally met at the bar.
“Thank you,” I said, doing a quick twirl in my sundress. “I think you could’ve chosen a better adjective than nice, but I suppose I’ll take the compliment anyway!”
“Lovely?” he said, standing and falling into step beside me to follow Simon and Yvonne over to the beach.
“It would have been better. Bit late now though.”
“Is Yvonne drunk?” Andrew asked as we watched her stumble along in front of us, laughing hysterically as she went.
“Yeah,” I said, smiling. It was entertaining to see her so uninhibited.
We joined a line of partygoers who ambled along the road from the Koala Village to the beach at Horseshoe Bay. Others arrived from further afield in mokes. The atmosphere was jovial even before we reached the beach. Bottles of beer and cheap wine were passed between complete strangers. Rows of mokes were parked up along the road, and I slipped off my shoes as we moved onto the sand. The full moon hung low over the water, bright and magical. Barbecue smoke wafted around, and the smell of sausages made my mouth water.
We hadn’t eaten properly all day and joined the line for burgers and hotdogs before heading to the bar, where we all opted for the full moon special. It was an unnatural neon blue cocktail, syrupy and sweet. I sucked it through the straw with a grimace as we wandered, eventually stopping beside one of several bonfires which flickered along the beach.
Simon and Yvonne whispered and giggled, and I could see why Andrew was a bit put out – Simon had definitely prioritised Yvonne over him. Luckily, Andrew seemed to have cheered up about the situation.
“You know, you should really make sure you enjoy your trip,” I said to Andrew, who looked at me, confused. “I mean, don’t waste it worrying about your ex. Have fun!” He looked amused, and it dawned on me that I was a bit tipsy. “Pretend you haven’t got a care in the world and go a bit crazy.”
His smirk was very cute. “I’m not taking advice from you,” he said.
“Why not? I give great advice!”
“Because you came all the way out here looking for someone and now you’re going to back out because you’re nervous.”
“I have every reason to be nervous,” I told him.
“And I have every reason to mope around being miserable!”
I smiled at his logic. Yvonne suddenly loomed over me, insisting I dance with her.
“I’ll be back,” I said to Andrew. “Try and have fun while I’m gone!”
In one area of the beach, a crowd of people danced, flinging themselves around, barefoot and joyful. Music drifted from speakers dotted around, and I was happy bopping away in the sea of strangers. The wine had gone to my head and when Yvonne set off back to the boys, I went in search of water.
The beach was busy and I meandered between sweaty bodies as I tried to find my little group. All the fires looked the same, and I had no idea where exactly I’d left them. Admitting that I’d lost them, I sat halfway up a sand dune and observed the action on the beach. Everyone was having such a great time, and it really was a beautiful setting for a party.
I was just starting to think about walking back to the hostel when Andrew appeared in front of me.
“There you are!” he said, cheerfully. “How am I supposed to have fun when I spend the whole evening looking for you?”
“I looked everywhere for you,” I said as he plonked himself beside me. “Where are Simon and Yvonne?”
“They called it a night. Yvonne could hardly walk!” He gave me a funny look. “Where are your shoes?”
“Oh God!” I looked down. “Where are my shoes? Stop laughing!” I snapped. “We have to go and look for my shoes!” When he showed no sign of moving, I took his hand and pulled him up.
“I’m supposed to be having fun, not searching for shoes,” he said.
“You can have all the fun you want after we find my shoes.”
“Okay, where did you leave them?”
“With you! By one of the fires . . .”
“Here,” Andrew said, when we reached the nearest bonfire.
“They’re not mine,” I told him, looking at the strappy sandals he was holding up. He dropped them back where he found them and moved on to the next pair of abandoned sandals. The beach was full of them and by about the tenth pair, we found it quite hysterical.
“They’re nice though,” Andrew said, scrutinising his latest find – cute little kitten heels. “Just take them.”
“I can’t take someone else’s shoes!”
“Why not? Someone else probably took yours.”
Taking a break from the shoe hunt, we sat beside a bonfire with a group of strangers. A couple of people strummed guitars and others sang along with the well-known tunes.
“I’m going to find more beers,” Andrew said.
“I can’t move,” I told him. The stars were mesmerising as I lay back on the sand.
“Stay there. I’ll be right back.”
“Don’t lose me again,” I said.
“Just don’t move.”
As the music and hum of people buzzed around me, my eyelids drooped and I fought to keep my eyes open.
I’ll wait for Andrew to get back and then I’m going to bed.
Chapter 25
LIBBY – August 2017
The sand had turned cool when I woke, and I was grateful for the hoodie draped over me. It carried Andrew’s scent and I could hear his voice nearby, light and joking. His talk of surfing mingled with someone else’s laughter. My eyes blinked open to find the flames of the bonfire dancing before me.
“How was the nap?” Andrew asked.
Sitting up, I ran my hands through my tangled, sand-filled hair. Embarrassment was a vague idea until the remaining alcohol in my blood kept me from caring. The crowds had thinned on the beach, and only a handful of people were left around the fire.
“What time is it?” I asked groggily.
He pulled his phone from his pocket and lit up the screen. “Just after two. Do you want to head back?”
With a nod, I stood up, pulling Andrew’s hoodie on as I did so. He didn’t comment.
“Thanks for staying with me,” I said as we walked. I’d always felt safe when I was travelling, but it occurred to me that passing out drunk on a beach surrounded by strangers probably wasn’t very sensible. Having Andrew beside me made it seem okay.
We walked in silence until we reached the road, where the loose gravel reminded me of my missing shoes. Cursing mildly, I hopped from foot to foot. Andrew strode on, not even attempting to hide his amusement.
“Wait!” I tried to catch up with him but my feet wouldn’t comply. Every step brought pain, and I only managed to stumble along for a few steps. Andrew came back to me.
“You’ve already got my hoodie, don’t ask for my shoes as well.”
“If you gave me one we could hop back together!”
He turned his back to me, and I took it as an invitation for a piggyback.
Ten minutes later he set me down on the soft grass at the Koala Village. I’d expected to have to creep around as others slept on, but it turned out that the party had moved from the beach to the Koala Village. Andrew escorted me past the revellers by the pool and back to bungalow number seven, where we found another party in full swing. The hammocks were all inhabited and people lazed around on the grass while music blared with an obnoxious thumping bass. Through the open door, I could see people sitting on the beds, mine included. It was disheartening; all I needed was sleep, but it seemed like an unlikely prospect.
“I think I’ll have a wander,” I told Andrew. “See if I can find a free hammock to sleep in.”
“This place is crazy,” he said as we walked around the complex. Groups of people were scattered around the place, and it seemed like anyone who wanted to get any sleep was doomed.
“Aha!” I said a little while later, excited to find an empty hammock in a lonely corner.
“Are you seriously going to sleep there?” Andrew asked.
“My bed is taken!” I flopped ungracefully into the hammock and wriggled to get my balance right. “And this is really comfy.”
“I’m not sure it’s safe to sleep out here.”
“I’ll be okay. Everyone’s so friendly.”
“I was thinking more about the wildlife.” He glanced around, nervously. “There’s about ten thousand species of things that can kill you around here.”
“Ten thousand?” I asked, amused.
“Approximately!”
“I’m sure I’ll survive. You don’t need to babysit me!”
“Not sure I can really sleep in my bed either with all that racket going on.”
“You’ll have to find your own hammock then,” I said. “I’m not shari—” The screech that cut me off was loud, wild and far too close. Jumping out of the hammock, I was behind Andrew in a shot and clinging to his arm. “What on earth?” I said, looking up at the source of the noise.
“Bats,” Andrew said. “One of the few things around here which won’t kill you!”
“Bats?” It was too loud for bats.
“Yeah. Fruit bats are really loud. And really big.”
Rustling overhead drew my attention and the screech came again. Two huge black creatures flapped their massive wings, fighting and shrieking before taking off, causing a breeze as they left.
“Oh my God! They’re huge.”
“Yep,” Andrew agreed.
“What are you doing?” I asked when he manoeuvred himself easily into the hammock.
“I found myself a hammock, like you suggested.”
“But that’s mine.”
Light from the nearby path bounced off his eyes, glimmering as he grinned mischievously. “You got out.”
I glared for a moment. Then I walked purposefully over to the hammock and took hold of it with both hands, giving it a quick, forceful tug. Andrew flailed before tumbling out. Smugly, I reclaimed the hammock.
“You got out!” I said innocently when he brushed himself off and stood looking down at me. The hammock wobbled when he climbed in next to me, and I turned my nose up at having his feet beside my head. “You better not snore,” I said.
“You actually think you can sleep in this?”
“Why not?”
“Well, it’s pretty wobbly for one thing.” He rocked the hammock to make his point. “And did I mention the wildlife?”
“You’re a bit of a scaredy cat, aren’t you?”
“I’m not the one who jumped a mile at a little bat.”
I gave him a quick kick before I closed my eyes. “Goodnight.”
The murmur of voices and hum of music drifted in waves on the warm night air. Suddenly revived, I opened my eyes and gazed through the branches to the sparkling sky. The haze of the Milky Way was visible directly overhead.
Andrew’s voice broke the silence, smooth and serious. “I really think you should go and find your father.”
“I’m starting to regret telling you about him,” I said.
“How about we make a deal?” he said. I eyed him suspiciously. “I’ll relax and forget about my ex, and you’ll go and find your dad, like you intended . . .”
“It seems like you get the better end of the deal!”
“Maybe! But it’s good for us both. We’ll both make the most of our time in Australia.”
He went quiet and I was glad he didn’t push me any further on the subject. When he closed his eyes, I found myself studying his face. He looked so peaceful. His hair was ruffled, his skin had a deep tan and there was a day’s worth of stubble along his jaw.
The air was still, and it was absolutely silent when my eyelids finally grew heavier. I was aware of Andrew’s body next to mine as I felt myself slipping into sleep.
Chapter 26
EVELYN – October 1994
Six months had flown by and any ideas about travelling the rest of Australia had disappeared. I was completely and utterly at home in Kununurra. I enjoyed my routine of working in the mornings, eating a late lunch with Kai at the Croc and then spending a couple of hours at the pool.
Once or twice, it occurred to me that my time in Australia was limited and there was still so much more I could see. Leaving Kununurra was never a serious consideration though.
“Hi!” I called to Joe as I approached the Croc one Saturday in October. It was a relief to finish work, and I was looking forward to an afternoon with my little gang. Kai had finally decided to go back to Broome for a visit, and it was strange not having him around the place.
“How was work?” Joe asked, seeming distracted as he opened the door to his pickup.
“I survived!” I said. “What are we doing this afternoon?”
“Beth’s got one of those social nights at the salon tonight so she got the day off. I’m heading over to see her now. Leslie got called into work. I’m not sure what Cam’s up to.”
I’d assumed we’d be going out on the boat or driving out to one of the springs. My disappointment must have been written all over my face, but I did my
best to hide it. “Are you still going to the movie tonight?” I asked hopefully. The drive-in movie theatre had flyers up all around town advertising the showing of Muriel’s Wedding. Everyone was talking about it.
“I’ll probably give it a miss,” he said. He wasn’t his usual cheerful self. “Leslie and Cam are definitely going though.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling my mood take an abrupt nosedive. I was irrationally disappointed by the change to the Saturday afternoon routine. “Have fun with Beth!”
“You okay?” Joe asked when I didn’t move from the spot.
“Yeah,” I said automatically. I couldn’t say anything else; Joe and I never talked about anything serious. I wasn’t okay though. “You?” I asked.
He leaned on the car door and seemed like he was about to say something. I waited while his gaze drifted away from me. He looked tired. “I’m fine,” he said, his eyes finally meeting mine and lingering for a moment too long. “I better go.”
I didn’t move until his ute was out of sight. Then I stomped into the Croc feeling like I might explode. I had the rest of the day to kill and was filled with a rage which had taken me by surprise. Grabbing a shovel from the shed, I went to work on an empty flowerbed – one of the only empty ones since Kai had started working at the Croc. I attacked the hard soil, attempting to turn it over and pulling out weeds as I went.
“What are you doing?” Stan called.
“I’m gardening,” I shouted at him.
“Okay,” he said, taken aback.
“I’m going to turn the soil over and then go and buy plants!”
“Why are you shouting?” he asked calmly, keeping his distance from me. I was wobbling precariously on the line between sane and crazy.
“I don’t know,” I yelled. “I can’t help it. You’ll need to give me money for plants . . . Arrrgggghhhh!”
“What?” Stan asked when I dropped the shovel and moved at lightning speed across the lawn.
“There’s a bloody snake,” I told him, still shouting and jumping around erratically now as well.
“Where?”
“By the bush over there,” I said, pointing. “I hate snakes. I hate this place!”
