by Hannah Ellis
“Leave her,” Beth said gently, appearing quietly beside Joe. “If she wants to leave, she can. She’s not a prisoner!” Her voice was light and jokey. She was always graceful and would never be rude, but I could tell she would be happier if I left.
“Cam’s coming over later,” Joe told me. “At least wait and see Cam.”
I agreed with a nod and exchanged another polite smile with Beth. Secretly, I think she wanted to kill me, though I wasn’t sure what I’d done to annoy her.
“We have to head over to my place soon anyway,” she said, her hand delicately placed on Joe’s neck.
“Not yet,” he said, looking at the kitchen clock in surprise.
“We agreed,” Beth said, almost but not quite letting her emotions run away. “Half the day with your parents, half with mine. Like always.”
“I know,” he said. “Let’s just stay a bit longer though. Cam’s not even here yet.”
Feeling uncomfortable, I slipped past them and back outside. I didn’t move far from the door but lingered in a pathetic attempt to eavesdrop. I could only pick out odd words, as their exchange was fast and quiet. They weren’t the sort of people to air their dirty laundry in public; there wouldn’t be a big scene, but they were obviously deep in an argument. I got the feeling it ran deeper than just their plans for Christmas.
By the time they re-joined the party, I’d slipped back into the garden. Beth was her usual composed self as she said goodbye to everyone, but her eyes were red and it was clear she’d been crying. Joe stood by his ute waiting for her and shouted that he’d be back in a while before they drove away.
I was happy to see Cam and his family turn up only a few minutes later. They had spent their Christmas Day on the river. Three boats pulled up to the riverbank and the rowdy occupants announced their arrival with whoops and cheers and a few of them singing “We Wish you a Merry Christmas” at the top of their lungs.
“How’s my favourite British chick?” Cam asked, giving me a hug. “Having a good Christmas?”
“Yeah,” I said, my thoughts still lingering on Joe and Beth and wondering what had happened. “It’s been really good.”
“It’s about to get better,” he said. “I’m teaching you to water-ski!”
I frowned. “I saw a croc down there earlier.”
“You better learn to stay up on your feet then,” he said with a grin. Then he turned to shout, “Evelyn’s first attempt at waterskiing coming up! Someone get a camera and everyone gather round for a laugh!”
“Thanks!” I said, following him to the boat.
It was so much fun. To everyone’s delight, it took me a while to get the hang of it, and there were a few hilarious false starts which saw me nose-diving into the water. Then I got a feel for it and managed to get up out of the water. Cam steered the boat down the river, picking up speed as we left the house behind. He glanced back occasionally and shouted encouragement.
“Let’s turn around and show them what a pro you are,” he said after a while. We headed back and a cheer arose as we passed the house with me standing relatively confidently on the skis. Joe had returned and I caught his eye. I was having such a great time and laughed loudly before we left everyone behind again. On my next drive by, I got a bit cocky and lifted an arm to wave. Disaster. I let the rope go as I lost my balance and crashed spectacularly into the water. Below the surface, I spent a moment upside down and confused before hitting the air again, coughing and spluttering. Joe was at the riverbank and crouched to my level.
“You okay?”
“Think so,” I said, choking and reaching for his hand. “I lost the skis somewhere.”
“Don’t worry about it. Cam’ll get them. You scared me for a minute. Thought I was gonna have to brave the crocs and jump in after you!”
He pulled me out in one movement and I stumbled on my jelly legs, falling into him. “You okay?” he asked again.
“What happened?” Cam shouted, turning the boat around. “You think you’re the queen, giving everyone the royal wave?”
“I thought I was getting good,” I said, laughing.
Chapter 29
EVELYN – December 1994
From the deck, Joe and I had a perfect view of the river and watched as everyone took turns on the water skis. Of course, they were all pros, and Cam particularly showed off with a few tricks, waving wildly at me while he was at it.
“You did well for your first attempt,” Joe said.
“I’m not sure about that, but I had fun,” I told him. “Is Christmas always like this here?”
“Yes. It’s always the same.”
“I love it,” I said.
He tipped his bottle to his lips. “Me too.”
“You excited about your move?” I asked, feeling like we’d been ignoring the elephant in the room for long enough.
He inhaled deeply. “I’m not sure excited is the right word.”
“But you’re really leaving?” I asked sadly. It shouldn’t matter; I’d be leaving soon too.
“It seems like it,” he said. “We found a place to live. It’s only small, but it’ll do to start with.”
I ignored the twisting feeling in my gut. “Is Beth okay?” I asked. “She seemed upset . . .”
He shrugged and stood up, stretching. “Women!” he said, with a grin that annoyed me. Why won’t you just talk to me? Tell me how you really feel. Tell me everything.
“I’m going to find out when we’re having dessert,” he said, walking away.
“There’s dessert?” I shouted after him. I was still full from lunch.
“Oh yes!” he said with a twinkle in his eyes.
The selection of desserts was certainly impressive. Everyone had contributed something, and I was overwhelmed by the choice. My mouth was watering as I stood taking it all in.
“Don’t start with the chocolate cake,” Leslie warned me. “You’ll never manage anything else if you start with that. The trick is to take small pieces. And take your time.”
“Slow and steady wins the dessert race,” Cam said. “And Leslie takes it very seriously!” The pair of them were very giggly as we ate, exchanging looks and grinning at each other. I couldn’t decide if they were drunk or flirting.
I’d just put my plate in the kitchen when Mick wandered in behind me. “Sure you can’t manage a bit more?” he asked.
“No chance,” I said. “I’m so full, it’s painful.”
“The profiteroles are really good. Did you try one?”
“No,” I said as he draped an arm around my shoulders. I was slightly stunned when he pulled me towards the table full of desserts. “I’m definitely full.” My voice was light as I tried to discreetly move away from him.
“They’re only small,” he said.
I gasped when the chocolate and cream-covered pastry landed in the middle of my face with a thud. A squeak escaped me as I sputtered and wiped at my face. Mick moved away from me, chuckling. “Sorry! I couldn’t resist!”
My eyes followed him as he walked outside, laughing as he went. Joe was standing in the doorway.
“Your dad just . . .” I stopped, not quite able to put the sentence together. Your dad just hit me in the face with a profiterole. It was far too ridiculous to say out loud. I wiped cream from my eyelashes. “I’m covered!”
“He does that sometimes,” Joe said with a grin. “Here.” he reached for my cheek. “Actually, you might just need to go and stick your head under the hose.”
“Don’t laugh at me,” I said, taking a slice of chocolate cake and slamming it into his own face.
“Hey!” he said, laughing and wiping at his face. “That’s not allowed.”
“Well no one told me the rules of your little food-in-the-face game!” I said, pouting as I walked outside.
“Sorry, Evelyn,” Claire said. “We should have warned you.”
I walked past everyone with a face covered in chocolate and cream. “That would’ve been nice!”
“It was good
to relax while we ate this year,” Leslie remarked happily. “We knew he’d go for you. He likes an unsuspecting victim.”
Mick was looking highly amused by his childish antics. “It’s not Christmas unless someone has food in their face, is it?”
I’d just finished hosing myself off when Stan announced he was leaving to go and check on things at the Croc.
“I’ll come with you,” I said. The sun was setting and the atmosphere was winding down.
“No,” Stan said. “You stay and have fun. You don’t want to spend your evening at the Croc.”
“I don’t mind,” I said.
“Stay,” Leslie said. “Someone will drop you back later.”
I wasn’t sure who was going to be sober enough to drive, given how much alcohol had been consumed throughout the day. And no one seemed to be slowing down. But I stayed anyway and settled into a relaxed evening of drinking and watching the beautiful sunset over the water.
“Come and sit with me a minute,” Cam said with a flick of his head as I walked past him later. His family had left with the boats a while earlier, and the kids had been taken home to bed. Numbers were dwindling and the mood was mellow.
“What?” I asked, slowing beside him.
He patted his knee. “Sit with me for a minute.”
The others were chatting and paying no attention. “What’s up?” I asked, ignoring his instructions.
“It’s Christmas. Just pretend I’m Santa and take a seat.”
“You’re being creepy,” I said. “Slow down on the beers.”
I was about to walk away when his face fell serious. “Please. Just for a minute. I want to test something. I promise not to grope you.”
“What’s going on?” I asked, sinking slowly onto his lap.
He pulled me closer to him. “I just want to conduct a little experiment.”
“You’re being very weird.”
A frown fell over his face. “As I suspected, she’s not the slightest bit bothered.”
“Who?”
“Leslie,” he said, his gaze returning to me. “Not even a hint of jealousy.”
“You like Leslie?” I asked, with an arm around his strong shoulders. She was deep in conversation with Mick and didn’t even seem to register me sitting with Cam.
“Yeah,” he said, suddenly shy. “Don’t mention it, will you? I don’t want things to get weird.”
“But if you tell h—”
“We’ve been friends for a long time. If she felt anything else it would’ve been obvious by now, wouldn’t it?”
He was right; if Leslie felt more for him, everyone would know about it.
Cam leaned closer to me. “There’s only one person who looks uncomfortable with this situation and it’s not Leslie.”
My eyes scanned around until they landed on Joe. He leaned against the post at the corner of the deck, looking intently at me. His forced smile made my heart race. When he turned away, I stood up, uncomfortable with my own feelings. Sure that I’d had enough, I put my beer down and tried to ignore my heart rate, which had taken a sharp increase. The sadness which seeped into my bones was overwhelming and hard to ignore.
“You okay?” Claire asked when I wandered into the kitchen, my eyes full of tears.
“Can I ask you a huge favour?” I said, trying hard not to let the tears spill over. “Could I use your phone?”
“Of course you can!”
“It’s long-distance,” I said, sniffing. “I’ll give you the money.”
“Don’t worry about that,” she said, her eyes full of sympathy. “I should have offered earlier. Of course you’d want to call home. I wasn’t thinking.”
“I’ll be quick,” I said.
“Take your time. Use the phone in our bedroom and you won’t be disturbed.”
I thanked her and made my way to the back of the house. My intention had been to call home from the office at the Croc when I got back there. With the time difference, the later I called the better, but I had a sudden urge to speak to Mel.
She answered quickly, and my tears spilled over at the sound of her voice. “Hi!” I said.
“Oh my God! Happy Christmas! How are you?”
“I’m okay,” I said. “I miss you.”
“I wish you were here. How’s Christmas over there?”
“It’s really good,” I told her, unable to hide the overwhelming sadness that had taken hold of me.
“What’s wrong? Are you having a terrible time? Are you homesick? You can come home, you know?”
“It’s not that,” I said. “I’m fine. I’ve just been drinking all day and hearing your voice has made me emotional.”
“You’ll be back before we know it and we can have some wild nights out. I can’t wait! Did you get my parcel?”
“Not yet. Things always take forever to get here. It’ll turn up soon, I’m sure.”
“What did you do today?”
“I went waterskiing,” I said with a laugh. “I completely embarrassed myself and nearly drowned! It’s so hot here, you wouldn’t believe.”
“That’s crazy. It’s thick snow here.”
I heard the doorbell ring in the background and the bustle of noise and people. “I have to go,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, I shouldn’t be on the phone long anyway. Tell Rob I said hi.”
“I will. Talk soon. Merry Christmas!”
I put the phone down with a heavy heart. A night out with Mel would be lovely. Part of me knew it would always be bittersweet; a night out with Mel would mean I was back in the UK and far from everything that had become so dear to me in Kununurra.
I opened the bedroom door to find Joe in the hallway. “You made me jump,” I told him.
“Sorry,” he said. “Is everything okay?”
I wiped at my cheeks. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
“Homesick?” he asked with a look of concern. “It must be hard to be away from your family at Christmas?”
Not homesick. I’ve just had such an amazing day that every Christmas from now on will be a disappointment. I smiled at Joe when he raised his eyebrows. Next Christmas I won’t be here. Next Christmas I won’t be with you. And even the thought of it is painful.
“Maybe a bit homesick,” I said.
The truth was, I’d never felt so at home in my life.
Chapter 30
EVELYN – December 1994
As I expected, no one was sober enough to drive, so at Claire and Mick’s insistence, I stayed the night at their place along with Leslie, Cam and Joe. It ended up being a fairly early night; it had been a long day, and I was exhausted. Leslie and I shared the guest room and I woke early to her gentle snoring. On my way to the kitchen, I found Joe asleep on the couch in the living room. One arm was thrown up over his head while the other rested across his chest. He didn’t stir, and I watched him for too long – until my heart threatened to explode and my emotions bundled together into one big ball of sadness, sitting right on my chest.
The house was quiet and everyone slept on when I walked through the front door and down the driveway with tears falling down my face. It was quite a trek, but I walked the whole way back to the Croc to shower and change before I made my way to the hotel.
“You’re off today, aren’t you?” Todd asked. He was sitting at the reception desk and looked bored.
“Yeah,” I said, shocked that I’d managed a smile. It betrayed the tumult of emotions which raged inside me. I’d decided that work might be a good distraction. “I’m kind of skint and wondered if I could pick up some more shifts.”
“Haven’t you spent the last month complaining you wanted time off over Christmas and New Year?”
I grimaced. “I should have checked my bank balance first!”
He shook his head, probably adding scatterbrain to his mental list of my vices. “You’ll have to ask Dad.”
Arthur gave me a similar shake of the head and told me I’d have to talk to Tania; he didn’t care who took
the shifts, as long as one of us was there. One phone call later and I had a full week of shifts and a very happy Tania.
I hadn’t even left a note when I left Mick and Claire’s house that morning, so I wasn’t surprised when Cam appeared, wandering the hotel corridor looking for me.
“What happened?” he asked. “I thought you were coming out on the boat with us today? Everyone’s been looking for you.”
“Sorry,” I said, pushing my trolley full of mini-toiletries, toilet rolls and towels down the hall. “I should have called. I got roped into working.”
He looked at me sternly. “Todd said you volunteered.”
“I’m skint,” I said, ignoring the fact I’d been caught in a lie. “And I felt bad that I’d bullied Tania into taking so many shifts this week.”
“What’s really going on?”
I parked the trolley at the next room on my list and resisted the urge to break down and cry. “I need the money,” I said, my voice cold and flat. “I’ll be on the road again soon and I’ll need money.”
Cam’s piercing stare made me uncomfortable, and I stepped into the hotel room to get away from him. “Have fun on the boat,” I said, hoping he’d leave me alone.
“He loves you, you know?”
My resolve to keep myself together very nearly crumbled.
“Please leave,” I said. “If I’m caught chatting, I’ll be in trouble. I’ve got loads to do.”
“Okay,” he said, lingering in the doorway. “But if it’s any consolation, I think he’s an idiot. He’s letting Beth walk all over him.”
When I finally brought myself to look up, Cam was gone. I went into autopilot, making beds and cleaning bathrooms, gently straightening out personal possessions. It went too fast, and at the end of my shift I wondered how to kill the hours until bedtime. Lying on my bed staring at the ceiling didn’t make time go fast, but I didn’t want to see anyone so I was reluctant to venture out. Eventually, I sat up and started writing a letter to Mel. It started mundane, telling her what I’d been doing in a fairly detached way. Then I started to tell her about Beth and Joe, and my emotions soon poured out onto the page with heart-wrenching honesty. My hand struggled to keep up as the pent-up feelings rushed out of me. I growled as my biro gave out, the nib ripping into the paper as I scribbled, frantic to encourage ink to appear.
