CHILDERS_Absurd Proposals

by Richard F. Weyand

  "Ha! One ship. A mail ship. What's he going to do, throw a parcel at us? Ignore it. Maintain profile."

  "No response, Sir. They're maintaining profile."

  "Do we know which division is the command division?"

  "No, Sir. Normal practice would be to put it in the center of three, but we don't know for sure."

  "Get us a look-see on those heavy cruiser divisions."

  "Yes, Sir."

  "Multiple hyperspace transitions. They're inside our formation. Thirty-five, no, forty contacts. And they're gone, Sir."

  "What did we get?"

  "We got IDs on all their heavy cruiser divisions, Sir. They're from Becker. BSF Epee should be the flag, under Admiral Jacques Berger."

  "Incoming message, Sir."

  "They don't give up, do they? Put it on speaker."

  "Demarest to Admiral Jacques Berger. This is your last warning, Admiral. Surrender or be destroyed. Demarest out."

  "Tell him to go piss up a rope."

  "Incoming message, Sir. Admiral Berger says to 'go piss up a rope.'"

  "Did you locate on that transmission?"

  "Yes, Sir. It came from the Epee.

  "Take out the Epee."

  "Yes, Sir."

  Four weapons drones transitioned out of hyperspace eight light-seconds away from the Becker formation, fired their battleship-grade weapon once, and transitioned back out.

  The Epee came apart, then exploded as the power plant let go.

  "This is Captain Demarest of the Galactic Mail Ship Promise, to the Becker deputy commander. Congratulations on your recent promotion, Admiral. Your forces are in violation of Tenerife space. Surrender or be destroyed. Demarest out."

  "No response, Sir. They're maintaining profile."

  "Slow learners," Demarest said. "How many of those heavy cruisers did we get IDs on? Do we know which ships are the division flags for the other two divisions?"

  "Yes, Sir. That would be the BSF Sabre and the BSF Poignard."

  "Take them both out."

  "Yes, Sir."

  Eight weapons drones transitioned out of hyperspace eight light-seconds away from the Becker formation, fired once, and transitioned back out.

  The Sabre and the Poignard both exploded.

  "This is Captain Demarest of the Galactic Mail Ship Promise, to the current Becker commander. We can keep this up all day, if you want to die for nothing. Surrender or be destroyed. Demarest out."

  "We surrender, we surrender. This is Rear Admiral Antoine Dubois. Please send your instructions."

  "Demarest here. Admiral Dubois, you will first flip ship and spend one hour at one gravity acceleration to slow your approach to Tenerife. You will then abandon your heavy cruisers, transferring their personnel by shuttle to your other ships. You may then go back to Becker. Under no circumstances will you be allowed to take any heavy cruisers out of the system. Do you understand? Demarest out."

  "Yes, we understand and will comply. Dubois out."

  All of the Becker ships shut down their engines, flipped ship, and re-engaged engines toward the inner system envelope boundary. All save one division of the heavy cruisers. The three remaining ships of that division increased their acceleration to 1.4g toward Tenerife.

  "Sir, one division – the three remaining ships – didn't flip. It's the Epee's division. They've increased their acceleration toward Tenerife. I'm reading 1.4g."

  "Take them out."

  Ten weapons drones – a whole hunting party – hyperspace transitioned, fired once, and hyperspace transitioned out again. The three heavy cruisers came apart, then blew up.

  "Dubois to Demarest. I'm sorry about those three heavy cruisers, Captain. That division was all die-hard types. I argued with them, but they wouldn't listen. The rest of us are complying. Please let us out. Dubois out."

  "Demarest to Dubois. Proceed as instructed, Admiral."

  It took over a dozen shuttle trips from each of the remaining six heavy cruisers to transfer all their crews to the Becker light combatants. When the transfer was complete, the lighter combatants accelerated toward the inner system envelope boundary at 1.5g. It took them over an hour to lose their velocity toward Tenerife and begin to build velocity out of the system.

  When they began accelerating, their reduction in velocity toward the planet separated them pretty rapidly from the six heavy cruisers, which drifted on toward Tenerife. Fifteen minutes into their acceleration, sixty drones hyperspace transitioned. Fifty-four of them fired once into the six heavy cruisers all at once. Each heavy cruiser took nine direct hits from the battleship-grade weapons, and disintegrated. The drones hyperspace transitioned back out.

  Dubois was watching the rear-facing display when they fired.

  "They could have take out every one of our ships just that fast. It's a miracle we're alive," Dubois said.

  The GMS Promise remained on station until the last of the Becker ships had hyperspace transitioned out of the Tenerife system, then hyperspace transitioned and headed back to Doma with her drones.

  During the entire action, the Promise had never moved.

  Jessen watched the action play out on the system simulator in the Galactic Mail Operations Center. Jeannie Xi and Bev Bhatia had joined him to watch the results in Tenerife.

  "Some people just cannot take a hint," Jessen said.

  "I'll say," Xi said. "Demarest had to take out six of their heavy cruisers with impunity to get them to see reason? That's incredible."

  "I was struck by what Dubois said, about them being die-hards," Bhatia said. "I guess there's no such thing as a regime so awful some people won't be loyal to it."

  "There's a lesson in that, I think," Jessen said.

  Paradiso, Brunswick, Feirm, Mon Mari, Becker

  "Incoming emergency drone, Sir. From Paradiso."

  Jessen watched the plots come in. Three squadrons.

  "My compliments to Captain Zhu. Dispatch the GMS Peacemaker and four hunting parties. Engagement Rules Gamma," Jessen said.

  "Dispatching the Peacemaker and four hunting parties. Rules Gamma, Sir."

  Five minutes later, the Peacemaker and her drones disappeared into hyperspace from their ready position at their hyperspace-1 limit.

  "Incoming emergency drone, Sir. From Brunswick."

  Jensen watched the plots coming in. Four squadrons.

  "My compliments to Captain Wojcik. Dispatch the GMS Oathkeeper and five hunting parties. Engagement Rules Gamma," Jessen said.

  "Dispatching the Oathkeeper and five hunting parties. Rules Gamma, Sir."

  "Has the Promise returned from Tenerife yet?"

  "No, Sir. She's monitoring the Becker warships' withdrawal from the system, Sir. Estimating return in five hours."

  "Let's go ahead and move the on-call division to ready status."

  "Yes, Sir. Issuing orders now."

  It would be almost eight hours before the on-call division could get its spacers aboard from planet leave and get to their ready position, but Jessen didn't want to end up short of ships, and he didn't know how long this was going to go on.

  "Incoming emergency drone, Sir. From Feirm."

  Jensen watched the plots coming in. Four squadrons.

  "My compliments to Captain Hendricks. Dispatch the GMS Defense and five hunting parties. Engagement Rules Gamma," Jessen said.

  "Dispatching the Defense and five hunting parties. Rules Gamma, Sir."

  "This is getting tedious. I wonder how long this is going to go on."

  "Sir, the Promise just came back from Tenerife."

  "Put her at the bottom of the ready list. As the on-call division comes on ready status, keep the Promise on the bottom. Advise them to remain on their ready station, but they can stand down for a while."

  "Yes, Sir."

  The after-action plots came back from Paradiso. It was Guernsey warships on the incursion. They lost two heavy cruisers with crews, and six abandoned and destroyed.

  Then the after-action plots came back from Brunswick
. It was Stadt warships on that incursion. They lost three heavy cruisers with crews, and five abandoned and destroyed.

  "Incoming emergency drone, Sir. From Mon Mari."

  Jensen watched the plots coming in. Three squadrons.

  "My compliments to Captain Chaudhri. Dispatch the GMS Gallant and four hunting parties. Engagement Rules Gamma," Jessen said.

  "Dispatching the Gallant and four hunting parties. Rules Gamma, Sir. The Valiant is next in queue."

  "We'll see if we need her. How long can this go on, anyway?"

  "The Peacemaker is back from Paradiso, Sir."

  "Put her below the Promise in the ready queue. Tell them to stay on their ready station, but they can stand down."

  "Yes, Sir. Transmitting."

  The after-action plots came back from Feirm. It was Seacrest warships on that incursion. They lost one heavy cruiser with her crew, and seven abandoned and destroyed.

  Then the after-action plots came in from Mon Mari. It was Drake warships in that incursion. They lost two heavy cruisers with crews, and six abandoned and destroyed.

  Jessen grabbed six hours of sleep in his ready room next door and returned to the Operations Center. He returned just as the Oathkeeper and the Defense came back into Doma space. Three hours later the Gallant returned from Mon Mari.

  "How long has it been since the last emergency courier?" Jessen asked.

  "A bit over eleven hours, Sir."

  "Go ahead and package this up and dispatch it to CEO Childers on Earth."

  "Yes, Sir."

  Five hours later, Jessen received a mail from Jan.

  FROM: CHILDERS

  TO: JESSEN

  SUBJECT: BECKER

  OPERATION GUILLOTINE. PROCEED.

  The decapitation strike on Becker was the same as those effected against the Outer Colonies that attacked the Commonwealth two years before. Nuclear warhead strikes took out the Becker State Police space station in orbit, as well as the large Becker State Police base on the planet, which was located in an isolated area to more easy defend it against the populace. Kinetic strikes hit the Foreign Ministry, the Becker State Police headquarters, and the legislature in the capital. The Chancellery was spared, because Chancellor Fournier was known to be at his summer home, which was hit by a kinetic strike. Hunting parties swept through the system and destroyed seven heavy cruisers, four on patrol and three on rotation, as well as the Becker State Police ready squadron in orbit. Having completed their task, they hyperspace transitioned and headed back to Doma.

  The Shareholders Meeting Continues

  At the beginning of the third day of the shareholders meeting, President Turner gaveled the crowd to order. Once he had, four large men came out onto the floor and pulled Becker Foreign Minister Marc Laurent from his chair and handcuffed him.

  "Mr. Laurent," Turner said over the speaker system, "you are under arrest for war crimes, specifically for initiating a war of aggression."

  "I claim diplomatic immunity," Laurent shouted.

  "Ah, but you're not here as a diplomat, Mr. Laurent. You are not here in any diplomatic capacity, and you have not been issued any diplomatic credentials. Take him away, officers."

  The Earth agents led Laurent, shouting all the way, out of the hall. Turner turned the microphone and the podium over to Jan.

  "Thank you, President Turner. Welcome to the third day of Galactic Mail's first shareholders meeting, everybody.

  "I have an announcement before we begin today's official agenda. You should see this information verified in the news shortly.

  "It seems my question to Mr. Laurent on Monday asking him which of his fellow shareholders he planned to attack was not an idle one.

  "In the last forty-eight hours, since this meeting began two days ago, five nations have attempted interstellar incursions against shareholders of this corporation. Becker attacked Tenerife, Guernsey attacked Paradiso, Stadt attacked Brunswick, Seacrest attacked Feirm, and Drake attacked Mon Mari."

  Angry shouts from representatives of the five named nations interrupted her. Jan banged the gavel heavily three times. Turner got up from his seat behind Jan and stepped up to the microphone.

  "Be quiet, or you will follow Mr. Laurent. You're on the very edge of doing so already. Personally, nothing would please me more," Turner said.

  At that they quieted down. Turner returned to his chair and Jan continued.

  "These are facts, and there is evidence to prove them. In each of these attacks, Galactic Mail moved forces to the system under attack to defend our shareholder. In each of these five attacks, the incursion was repelled before it came within weapons range of the planet or its infrastructure. The five attacked planets suffered absolutely no losses in these attacks. I am pleased to inform you your corporation also suffered no losses in repelling these attacks. No Galactic Mail ships or drones were lost."

  The shareholders cheered and applauded this, even Feirm.

  "The five attackers did not fare as well, however. Once their forces had surrendered, we refused to allow any of their heavy cruisers to leave the attacked systems. They were allowed to remove the crews from the surviving heavy cruisers, and their light combatants were allowed to leave the systems. Then Galactic Mail destroyed those ships to prevent and deter future incidents of this kind. The five attacking nations lost a total of forty heavy cruisers, fourteen of them with their crews.

  "This was, however, the second attack by Becker against Tenerife within less than two years. Having no confidence their leadership would learn from a second incident what they should have learned from the first, I gave the order to remove the Becker leadership. The Becker State Police space station, ready squadron, planetary base, and headquarters were destroyed, along with Mr. Laurent's Foreign Ministry, the legislature, and their remaining heavy cruisers. The Chancellery was not destroyed, however, as Chancellor Fournier was at his summer home. The summer home of Chancellor Fournier – the late Chancellor Fournier, I should say – was destroyed, however.

  "This was an extreme measure, to be sure, and not one taken lightly. But let me be clear about this. This corporation will not permit attacks against its shareholders. Period, end of sentence. And continued truculence on this point will result in draconian measures. The day when systems have to be constantly vigilant against attack, bleed their citizens for the money and manpower to field massive defensive forces, which then too often get turned to offensive uses by the next regime, is over."

  The representatives from the New Colonies stood and cheered wildly at that announcement, and many of the Outer Colony representatives did as well. More than Jan had expected.

  Jan walked back to where Harold Anderson of Paradiso and Pavel Ustinov of Tenerife sat behind her. They stood up and she shook each of their hands and assured them there had been no losses in either of their systems.

  Jan walked back to the podium. The cheering and applauding was still going on. She banged the gavel three times for order.

  "All right. Be seated, please. Back to business. Today we will continue to entertain nominations for seats on the board of directors, as well as hear short speeches from the nominees. As before, your nominees can be mailed to 'Galactic Mail Nominees' at any time.

  "For our first nominee today, may I introduce Morgan Saunders, the Trade Minister of Doma. Madam Minister, the podium is yours."

  "I couldn't believe there would be so many nominees. Almost three hundred of them. I thought we would be here till next shareholders meeting," Jan said.

  "That was a good idea you had about letting people stand aside in favor of someone else, though," Desai said.

  "Yeah. Every time someone stood up and said, 'I stand aside in favor of so-and-so,' I could have kissed 'em."

  Desai and Turner chuckled. They were sitting in Turner's living room on the top floor of President House, looking down the Hudson River to the Upper Bay and the Statue of Liberty. The ancient monument had been refurbished under Turner's administration – more than a little symbolism the
re.

  "It worked really well, though," Turner said. "We whittled it down to just under a hundred candidates for the sixteen positions, and the 'stand-asides' gave the rest of the representatives some idea of who enjoyed broad support among the remaining candidates. I think that helped during the election."

  "So in the end, the fifteen-minute speeches only took four days," Jan said, rolling her eyes.

  "But I think we did get a good board out of it," Desai said.

  I think so, too," Turner said. "Well done all around, I think."

  All six of the people on stage with Jan, the heads of state who had invited everyone to the meeting, were elected to the board, as was Morgan Saunders of Doma. The other nine were spread across the Commonwealth, the Outer Colonies, and especially the New Colonies. All of the five nations perpetrating the rash of attacks aligned behind a single board candidate, who did not win election, getting just those fifteen votes, one of them cast by Mr. Laurent's stand-in.

  "What's going to happen to Mr. Laurent?" Jan asked.

  "We'll charge him, I think, and hold him for a while pending trial. The way things are going on Becker at the moment, I think we'll ultimately honor an extradition request by the new government," Turner said.

  "Oh, you're mean," Jan said. "They'll string him up."

  The underground resistance on Becker had made surprising inroads into the military. The most politically 'reliable' military leaders to the old regime had been given the more prestigious assignments aboard the battleships, and been lost. With the Becker State Police out of the way, it looked like a military junta would take over and transition to a democratically elected government, much as what had happened in Paradiso.