Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  I feel Gray standing behind me but I make no move to turn and face him. He pulls me to my feet wrapping his arms around me. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he coos into my ear. All I can do is sob into his neck, as I fist his shirt in my hands. “Come on, let me take you back to the bus. I sent a text Aiden so he could tell Cam.”

  “I don’t want them to know,” I whisper, as I swipe tears from my face.

  “I said to tell everyone you weren’t feeling well so you just left. Then said I found me a piece to tend to,” he says with a wink. “Aiden and Cam will cover for us. Come on, let me get you out of here.”

  We walk the three blocks to the bus in silence. By the time we get there I am absolutely, emotionally exhausted. I don’t want to feel anything. I have just had my worst fears realized, my plan is shot to shit. I have nothing left but to go home, sort through what’s left of my life, and start over. Landon and I have to be over right? There is no coming back from that kind of betrayal. If Tad was that comfortable groping him in public, than they are more than working together. How could I have been so stupid? I never thought that Landon would do that to me. Never did I think that a man was a possible threat. I never suspected Landon could be bisexual. Has he been seeing other guys this whole time? How long has he been seeing Tad? All the questions swirling in my head just make me angrier.

  “I should’ve went over to the table and beat his ass!” I bite out. Stomping up the bus steps into the kitchen on a mission to drown my thoughts. Kicking my heels across the room, I fling the fridge door open, grabbing the tequila and lemons. “To hell with reality, to hell with the fuckin’ list; I’m gettin’ trashed,” I say, licking then salting my wrist before guzzling straight from the bottle.

  Gray shuts the door and leans his hip against the counter. “What list?” he asks, handing me a lemon wedge.

  I grab my bag, yank the little pad out, thrusting it at him, “My life list. All the aspects of a good life, in numerical order, and Landon fuckin’ Cole just ruined it all. I gotta pack my shit. I gotta leave before he gets back,” I say, tossing the salt and lemon down deciding to just down the bottle instead.

  Gray looks at the list then shakes his head. Taking the bottle, he grabs my hands as I try to shove past him. “Listen, I’m sorry you’re hurt, baby. Can’t say I’m sorry he did this though. Landon fucked up big but it’s his goddamn loss. I don’t know what the hell you see in him anyway. You’re a wildflower. You deserve more than being put in some fuckin’ case to be looked at but never touched. Ever since that first night at the bar I was sucked in by you. I wanted to talk to you, know everything about you. I want nothing more than to just be right here, right now with you. I fight and battle against it but the pull I feel toward you won’t go away. I can’t just stand here watching the train wreck that is going on without having my say. That bastard is my brother but you’re fuckin’ up if you let this shit slide, pretending as if nothing happened. You can do whatever you want, Daisy. I’m here to listen to you bitch, hold him down so you can stomp his balls into the pavement, or fuck you into next week, but you won’t leave.”

  I look at him as if he has grown another arm, “What do you mean I can’t leave?” I scream as I pound my fist against his chest. “I won’t stay here. Not now. What do I get by staying here, Gray? I let Tad and Landon grope all over each other while I watch! Fuck you and your damn brother!”

  “Probably best to let you go, Daisy, but I can’t. Tried to ignore it, but I can’t. Won’t be ignoring it anymore, baby, that’s for sure. I also won’t watch him walk all over you while you wilt.”

  Slumping to the floor, I sob into my hands. Gray swoops me up and carries me down the aisle to the bedroom. I don’t have the energy to fight him. He lays me on the bed then quickly turns to leave the room. I have no doubt that he is going to go pace until Landon comes through the door so he can pound his ass into dog food. I don’t want to be alone. The thought of Landon being with Tad makes me feel more emotions than I ever thought that I could. I want to feel something, anything, other than all this hurt. I want someone to put me first.

  “Gray, don’t leave me,” I whisper.

  His hand on the knob, Gray rests his forehead on the door letting out a sigh. “Daisy, you have no idea how hard it would be to just lay with you and not being able to touch you. I can’t. I don’t have any more fight left in me tonight, baby,” he chokes out. I know that he is trying to be strong right now, for me, but things have changed. Shit, everything has. He feels the same inner-struggle I do. I’ve been betrayed by the man I planned my life out with for the last year. Secrets, lies and who knows what else. I don’t want to be me anymore. Right now, I just want to be anyone but Daisy Shayne. I watch as Gray’s fingers squeeze against the doorknob so hard his knuckles lose color, his chest rising and falling rapidly. In that moment, I want nothing but to forget Landon, even if for just an hour. I don’t even feel my mouth move as I blurt the words he told me just hours ago he was waiting on.

  “I’m asking you, Grayson. Make me feel something other than this anger and helplessness, please. I want to forget, to be anyone other than me right now.”

  Gray turns and faces me. Kicking off his boots as he walks the three steps to the bed. I raise up on my knees in the bed, loosening the tie holding my dress up, letting it drop, exposing my breasts. A growl roars up through his chest as he pulls me to him. Gray’s amazing mouth running along my exposed skin, making me ache for more. My fingers dive into his hair, twisting and pulling the strands as he takes my nipple into his mouth. Swirling his tongue around it, he sucks hard. I fling my head back crying out his name, which only fuels his need.

  Pulling back, Gray yanks my dress over my head tossing it to the floor behind him. Without a word, he slides me onto my back on the mattress, his eyes burning my skin as he takes me in. “You never did put panties on, did you, baby?” I shake my head making him close his eyes as if he were in pain.

  “Touch me, Gray,” I’m begging as he tugs his shirt off, sliding onto the bed next to me.

  Slamming his mouth to mine, he leans back against the pillows, pulling me onto his lap. His mouth never leaves mine as his hand dives between my legs, while the other is fisting in my hair as it falls around us. I let everything else go; right now nothing else matters as I straddle Gray’s thighs. I am leaving, so why not get exactly what I want before I do. This is all we wanted, just a taste of each other, right? It could never be anything more. Rolling me to my back, he circles my clit with his thumb as he slides two fingers into me making me whimper into his mouth. I grind against his hand, desperate for friction; my entire body is begging for more as I writher shamelessly in his lap.

  “Fuck that’s hot, baby. Let go for me,” Gray growls as I cry out his name, my pussy clenching around his fingers. His free hand slides up my thigh, pulling me to him. Gray’s rough fingers dig into my hip, silently commanding me to ride his hand as the hardest orgasm I have ever had hits me like a freight train. Slowing his thumb, he lets me come down from my climax. Pulling me to him, Gray kisses me deeply, passionately, as he lies on his side. My tongue runs along his lip to find his piercing, making him moan loudly. As he wraps his arms around me, I roll him to his back. I melt into him, unable to get close enough.

  Breaking the kiss I nuzzle into his chest, my fingers tracing the shield over his heart. Gray’s hand running down my back, his rough finger tips dancing across my skin. I look down at Gray and laugh. “You realize you’re still wearing your pants?”

  Sliding down his spread thighs, I pop the button on his jeans to free him. My eyes drift over his piercings making me lick my bottom lip. I’m dying to taste him, to swirl my tongue along the cool metal as his cock swells in my mouth. I want to listen to the sounds he makes when he comes.

  He doesn’t give me the chance though, grabbing me around my waist, he slams me onto him. I bite my lip to keep from screaming as he moves against me. Gray’s hands clasp my hips hard, probably bruising me but I welcome the bite of pain. His fi
ngers dig in deeper the faster our bodies move together. I fucking love it! The ladder on his shaft is rubbing against me with every smooth roll of his hips. My head falls back as I feel myself build toward another release.

  “Don’t stop, Gray. Harder,” I plead.

  “Fuck baby. Dreamed about this. Couldn’t concentrate for shit. You’re all my thoughts revolve around no matter what I tell myself. I barely fuckin’ know you but I’ve dreamt of fucking you for days. The dreams didn’t do justice to the reality of how amazing it feels to get inside you, baby,” he grunts as he rolls us so that I am on my back. Grabbing my hands, he pins them above my head. “You’re mine, Daisy. I want you so fuckin’ much and I can’t fight it anymore. Can’t go slow, baby.” He slams his hips against the back of my thighs, shoving us farther up the bed as he goes and this time I do scream. Loud.

  My legs wrap tightly around his waist as he rolls his hips, increasing his thrusts. He is going to fuck my body through the wall but I don’t even care. Faster and faster, he slams into me, completely losing all control as our bodies slide against each other. Every stroke is harder, so much better than the last, until I explode around him. “Fuck!” I scream as my orgasm rips through me.

  Leaning down, he bites at my bottom lip, smiling wickedly. “Mine, Daisy, all fuckin’ mine. Landon never owned you. He never deserved one goddamn day that he had you,” he growls. Taking my mouth, he stills against me, as I feel him filling me. His body shaking against mine as his orgasms rolls through him. Gray’s tongue moves against mine, lazily; I soak it all in. He rolls us to our sides, pulling me into his chest. We lay still for a few minutes, the only sounds are our calming breaths mixing with the hum of the bus heater.

  “I don’t know how long before we’ll be missed. I don’t want anyone walkin’ in on us. That was just a taste, baby. Gonna fuckin’ worship that body of yours, Wildflower. So you need to know fuckin’ you proper the first time could take days. How you gonna confront Landon?” he asks, breaking the silence as his eyes meet mine, I shrug.

  “I don’t even know what to say to them.”

  Gray strokes my lip with his thumb making me shudder. “He’s a stupid bastard for fuckin’ up what he had with you, Daisy. Don’t let him get away with it. I’ll look at our contract with Tad. I want the bastard gone. Both of them if possible,” he says, kissing me gently as he slides out from under me. “Sleep baby,” he whispers into my hair. I watch from the pillow as Gray grabs his shirt and laptop then leaves the room.

  Unable to relax, I grab a t-shirt from the shelf then go to take a shower. There is no way I can face Landon with Gray’s scent all over me. Washing quickly, since everyone will be back soon, I jump out and dry off with a towel and pull on the shirt. Gray’s scent overwhelms me again. Looking down I notice it’s his SHAFT shirt. The fact that I’m wearing his shirt makes me smile as I walk out and head to bed.

  Settling under the covers I try to figure out what to say to Landon. He doesn’t even know that I saw them. Are Tad and Landon playing a game with all of us? The thought makes me nauseated. If they are, what else could they be hiding from us? The visions of what Gray and I have just done are rolling through my mind, making me cringe. How am I any different? I just gave Landon tit for tat. Hell, he doesn’t even know it yet. The train wreck cannot be avoided; it is all going to burst into a massive fiery mess. I will be left standing in the ashes of my wrecked life. Plan shot all to hell. Hang on everyone, I am fucking it up as quickly as possible.

  Chapter Eight

  Pots and Kettles

  “It’s not my fuckin’ place is it, Landon?” I hear Gray shout from the front of the bus.

  Jumping from the bed, I yank on a pair of my jeans that are in the floor. Flinging open the door, I run up the aisle bumping into the damn bunks as I go. Landon and Gray are toe to toe in the living area about to rip each other apart. Their gazes drift to me as I enter the room.

  “Daisy, why didn’t you tell me you were feeling bad? I would’ve brought you back. We didn’t spend any time together,” Landon says sweetly, as he turns from Gray to walk toward me.

  “You looked pretty busy, Landon,” I snap, making him jerk back as if I hit him. Just wait Landon I may just do that.

  “What could I have possibly been doing, Daisy? Nothing is more important than you,” Landon stutters, reaching out to caress my cheek. I turn away from his touch. “What’s wrong with you? Come here,” he purrs, holding out his arms.

  I shake my head. “No, Landon. I think it would be better if you sleep out here tonight. Maybe I’ll be able to talk to you in the morning,” I say, turning away from them. “Gray, if you sleep in the bedroom tonight, be sure to lock the damn door when you come in, yeah?” I toss out, storming down the aisle shoving around Hunter as I go, before slamming the door behind me.

  I barely have time to kick out of my jeans and sit on the bed before Landon comes flying into the room. His chest is heaving and his eyes blazing with rage. Grabbing my arms he pulls me up against him glaring in my eyes. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Daisy? You bail on our night out, a night that you wanted so damn bad. Now you are punishing me? What did I ever do to you?” he growls angrily. Shaking my arm loose from his grip, I slap him hard across the face.

  “I saw you!” I scream pounding my fists against his chest. “I saw Tad getting you off under the table while I was dancing, you bastard!”

  Landon’s face goes pale white. He releases me, letting me crumple to the floor in a heap. Sobbing into my hands, I refuse to meet his face. “Daisy…” he whispers and I shake my head. “Daisy… please,” he begs. “Let me explain. You don’t understand.”

  “No, I can’t! Just go. Landon, the betrayal, all the lies have shattered my trust in you. Shattered US and everything we have! How can we ever get that back…” I scream into my hands. Stopping myself from saying how much it all really has changed.

  “It meant nothing. It was just the alcohol, I swear it just happened so fast. I love you, Daisy,” he says and I just shake my head.

  “I can’t talk to you right now, Landon. Please, just leave me alone.”

  Turning away, he nods, “I will fix everything. I promise, no matter what it takes. I’ll fix it. I can’t lose you.” Jerking open the door, Landon comes face to face with Gray. Gray looks murderous as he shoves past his brother. “She told you, didn’t she?” Landon asks.

  “She didn’t have to,” Gray spits.

  Landon’s face goes ashen, obviously realizing how exposed they really were. Turning, he walks from the room leaving me alone with Gray. Shutting the door, Gray flips the lock just as I had asked him to do. Tugging his shirt over his head, he tosses it to the floor. I watch his chest ripple as he walks to where I am on my knees in the floor, lifts me into his arms before settling us in the bed.

  “Proud of you, baby,” he whispers nuzzling my hair.

  I wrap my arms around him, inhaling his scent as the tears fall down my face, wetting his chest. He just holds me, running his fingers in small circles along my back. “G-Gray?” I whisper through my tears. “I’m going home tomorrow.”

  Turning my chin up with his fingers, Gray’s hard gaze meets my face. “You aren’t going anywhere. If you’re done with Landon that’s fine, baby. Good riddance. I’ll be fuckin’ ecstatic, but you aren’t leaving.”

  “Why?” I ask. What reason could he possibly have for me to stay? I am done with Landon. Whether he admits it or not, I don’t see a reason how Landon and I could ever come back from this. He betrayed me. Then in classic crotch-cricket fashion, I rub my legs together and I fuck his brother in the bed we have been sleeping in together for days. The only thing remaining to be seen is which I am, the pot or the kettle? I thought that the tour would bring us closer together. That it would be good for us. Oh how wrong I had been.

  So my fiancé is experimenting with Tad? Is that what that was? Or did Tad just grab his junk, taking advantage of an alcohol fueled situation? Is that why Landon doesn’t usually drink? Cou
ld it really have gone down how Landon said it did? If that’s true then why didn’t he stop it? If only he had been dancing with me none of this would have happened. All the thoughts in my head are spinning. I can’t wrap my head around any of this. The only thing I realize is my heart isn’t broken like I thought it would be. It’s taken a hit but still beating. I close my eyes, settling against Gray’s chest as his final words turn my world upside down.

  “Because I need you,” he whispers so softly I almost don’t hear him. I lay there against him, even out my breathing pretending to be asleep. He rolls us then curls up against me. “Good night my Wildflower,” he whispers kissing my temple then settles down to go to sleep.

  *****

  “Well, I’ll be damned.” I jolt awake, nearly jumping out of the bed when Aiden’s voice wakes me. “Awful fuckin’ cozy aren’t we?” he asks, as he pulls Camaron in with him and shuts the door.

  Cam sits on the edge of the bed as Gray jerks up, glaring at Aiden. “What the fuck, man? Where did you get a goddamn key?”

  “Be glad it was me and not Landon. He’s been pacing up and down the damn aisle all night long asking everyone if they had a key. Hunter threatened to cut off his balls if he hit him with his elbow one more time. I lied to him ‘cause I’m nice like that,” he says, winking at me.

  “We didn’t. I mean that’s not why,” I stutter trying to get my words together.

  Cam puts her hand on my arm. “It’s okay. We heard what happened. Landon and Tad had a huge argument outside the bus. I’m surprised you two didn’t hear it.” My eyes widen in surprise. “Landon isn’t happy things went the way they did. Now there are problems with you two. Daisy, he’s threatening to walk from the tour.”