Endless - Manhattan Knights Series Book Three

by Sienna Parks

  When I hit the block that houses Andromeda, I’m filled with dread, at what I’m about to see, and what I’m about to do.

  NO submissive, not even Vittoria de Rossi can disrespect me like this and walk away unscathed. And as for Liam - he’s a fucking dead man.

  I have never felt such anger in all my life. Not when my dream of getting a deal burned to ashes in front of my eyes; not even in Paris. This is something completely different, this comes from somewhere much darker. I feel so overwhelmed by it, engulfed in it, that I can’t even see straight. COLD, ALL-CONSUMING, FURY!

  I slam open the doors, and I can sense the change. This isn’t my safe haven anymore.

  “Where the fuck are they?”

  Jacob speaks calmly, as if that will help me in the slightest. “Master Liam is in his room. She’s in there with him.”

  I act on instinct, my fist connecting with his jaw. “Why the FUCK would you let her go with him?”

  He slowly wipes the blood from his lip before squaring his shoulders to stand a full four inches above me, but I’m not intimidated. He might be built like a wrestler, but the adrenaline fueling me right now would be more than enough to take him down. He shakes his head. “I’m going to let that one slide, Master Fitzgerald, but do it again, and I will take you out. You know I have no control over what happens in here, unless someone crosses the line. She came here looking for him. She went willingly into that room. I’m sorry that I’m the one telling you this, but don’t shoot the messenger.”

  “FUCKING, FUCK!!! I need to see her. I hope you’re not going to try and stop me. She’s mine. No one touches what’s mine.”

  He steps out of my way, letting me pass without another word.

  The music and the crowds are white noise in the background. A distant soundtrack to my life falling apart. I feel their eyes on me; they all know she’s here. When I reach the door, I can feel the bile rise in my throat with the knowledge of what I’m about to see. I don’t knock. I bust the door open and all of my worst fears are confirmed. Vittoria is here. My Nyx… with another Master.

  “What the FUCK is going on?”

  Liam makes his way over to me, dressed in nothing but his loose-fitting pants. “It’s not what it looks like, Logan. Let me explain.” He tries to put his hand on my shoulder, but I dodge him and hit him with a jab to the stomach, winding him and knocking him to the floor.

  “EXPLAIN??? Explain the fact that you are in here with MY submissive? How could you do this to me, Liam? I looked up to you. You’re my mentor. You trained me to be a Master. You know what that means, better than anyone. SHE’S MINE. NO ONE FUCKING TOUCHES HER BUT ME!”

  I turn to Vittoria. She’s shackled to the St. Andrew’s Cross at the far end of the room. Metal restraints holding her arms and legs spread wide… for him. She’s dressed only in her underwear, her head hung in what I can only hope is shame. She’s sobbing, and all I want to do is comfort her, but the sight of her makes me feel physically sick.

  I turn my attention back to Liam, who’s picking himself up off the floor. “Why? She’s mine.”

  He’s angry that I got the best of him, I can see it in his eyes, and I watch as he changes into someone I don’t even recognize. “She was mine first. Who do you think trained her to be a submissive?”

  This can’t be happening. Not Vittoria.

  “That’s right, Logan. I’ve claimed every single inch of that beautiful body of hers. You can’t really blame me for wanting to revisit when she offered herself to me on a plate.”

  I hear Vittoria’s voice slicing through the pain that is threatening to break me. “That’s not what happened, Logan. Please. Let me explain.”

  I slowly turn my head toward her. My voice cold, calm, and devoid of any emotion as I respond. “Do not… ever… address me as anything other than Master Fitzgerald. You do not speak unless I give you permission. You will not even so much as lay eyes on me until I tell you otherwise. I can’t stand the sight of you. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME… Miss de Rossi?”

  I can see how much my words are hurting her, but it’s nothing compared to how I’m feeling. She drops her head, her voice a broken whisper. “Yes, Master Fitzgerald.” She continues to cry, tears streaming down her soft, flawless skin as I force myself to look away.

  “I want the truth, Liam. Start talking NOW, or I will drag you out of here by your balls and beat the shit out of you in front of every submissive in this place. No woman will ever want such a pathetic excuse for a Master.

  “That’ll make two of us.”

  “You’re right. I probably can’t show my face in here ever again, but the difference between us, is that I don’t give a shit. The woman you decided to chain up in here tonight is mine. She’s the only woman that will ever be mine. I won’t let you or anyone else take her away from me.”

  “Then you’re a fool, Logan. Look at her. She came here willingly. You deserve better than that from your submissive.”

  “I know that.” Vittoria’s sobs intensify at my words, but I can’t risk a glance in her direction. I failed her in some way, or she wouldn’t be here. “The question is, do you want to suffer the same fate, Liam? Do you want to be able to show your face in here? If you do, then you better tell me the truth. What happened tonight?”

  “Okay, okay.” He sits down on the couch behind him, his head resting in his hands, deflated. “Firstly, let me start by saying, I consider you a friend, and I was planning to explain everything to you, until you punched me. I was angry that you did that in front of her. She was important to me once… she still is.” I flinch at his admission. “She called me today and said she needed to talk. She sounded distraught. I was worried, so I told her to come. When she arrived, she was almost hysterical, begging me to punish her. Asking for the hard stuff.”

  I don’t know how much more I can listen to.

  “She said straight away that she didn’t want anything sexual. That she belongs to you, and that she would never have sex with another man. She kept saying repeatedly that her pleasure belongs to you. It was clear that she was unhinged. I told her that she should be speaking to you. She started shaking, telling me that you can’t know about it. That she doesn’t want you to know how bad she is. How broken and twisted she is. She wasn’t making sense. I know she’s been through a lot, but I also know you. You would never hold it against her. I can see how much you love her.” He sees my confusion. “She hasn’t told you, has she? What happened when she was young?”

  She begins to thrash around, struggling against the restraints. “NO! Don’t. You can’t. He can’t know. I love him. I don’t want him to look at me that way.” I’ve never seen her like this before; so out of control, so scared.

  “Logan, you need to talk to her. You need to know, otherwise, you’ll never be able to be the Master she needs.” I don’t know what to do with the anger I’m feeling right now. It’s suffocating me. “Nothing happened. I didn’t touch her. I thought about it. I really fucking wanted to, and she really seemed like she needed the release; the pain. But, I saw the disgust in her eyes as I tightened the restraints, and felt her flinch when my hands brushed against her skin. I knew it wasn’t me she wanted. She wanted to hurt herself, and I was her way out. I couldn’t do it. You’re not the only one that fell in love with her. That’s when I told Jacob to call you.” His revelation hangs heavy in the air. “I never wanted her to leave. When she found out that I was your mentor, that I trained you, she said she couldn’t be my submissive anymore. That was two years ago. I never got over her. You know how easy she is to love. Problem is, she never loved me back. I was only ever a coping mechanism for her. I see now that she told me everything, not because she loved me, but because she didn’t. She wasn’t worried about how I would look at her, or if my opinion would change.”

  Her cries are burning a hole in my chest. The howls of a broken, vulnerable, animal. A primal cry for help.

  “She’s different with you. You’re good for her.”

  “Obviou
sly not, or I wouldn’t be standing in here with you.”

  “Logan. This isn’t a reflection of your skill as a Master. She has chosen to hold back a major part of who she is from you. Until she relinquishes that, and lets you in, you can’t help her. I know you’re strong enough for this.”

  I hang my head, weak, broken, and completely lost. “I don’t feel it.”

  “I’m not your mentor anymore. You surpassed me a long time ago. You were born to be a Master. Everyone at this club knows it. You need to own it. You’re letting your feelings for Vittoria get in the way of your basic nature. And ironically, that instinct is exactly what she needs from you right now. You need to let go of the anger and talk to her.”

  “I’m sorry I punched you, Liam.”

  “Forgotten already. I would have done the same thing in your position. Punch first, ask questions later.”

  “I need some time alone with her, to get her down off that fucking cross, and out of here.”

  “Of course. I’ll leave you. Take as long as you need.”

  He grabs his shirt, and walks out, leaving me in the silence of my own despair. Vittoria’s cries have subsided and she’s completely motionless. I make my way over to her tentatively, my heart breaking at the sight of her, at what I’ve pushed her to.

  I don’t say a word. I can’t. I start working on her restraints, kneeling before her to remove the ones from her legs first; livid at the marks left on her skin where she struggled against the metal. When I stand to loosen the wrist restraints, I lift her chin with my finger, forcing her to look at me. I don’t see hate, or regret, or love in her eyes. Her stare is blank, cold, and terrifying. She seems almost catatonic. I make short work of freeing her arms, her body slumping against mine for support. She can’t stand on her own, she can’t function. Panic rises inside of me. I don’t know if I can do this. If I can pull her back from the brink. I hold her tight, fighting hard to suppress my anger, and replace it with compassion.

  I lift her up into my arms, her body limp, her head dropping down onto my chest. I lay her down on the bed and grab her clothes off the floor. A sharp pain stabbing at my heart. I dress her quickly, but she doesn’t even look at me. Lifting her carefully back into my arms, I stride out into the hallway, and everyone stops to stare as I walk through the main room. It feels like every set of eyes is on us, but I have more important things to worry about. All I can think of is getting her out of here, getting her home. What happens then? I don’t know.

  She hasn’t spoken since we got back to my apartment. I thought it best that I give her some time to rest and regroup before I talk to her about all of this. In truth, I needed time, too. This is all so far beyond what I thought I was dealing with. I thought this was about the loss of her dancing career. I knew that someone had hurt her, I assumed a past boyfriend or Dom. I thought that if I gave her time, she would open up to me. Hearing Liam say that whatever this is happened when she was young… I was so far off the mark. I should have insisted that she told me from the start. I wanted to be with her so badly that I bent my own rules of full disclosure and afforded her the privacy that is now clearly destroying her.

  It’s been two hours since I brought her home, and as I creep into the bedroom, careful not to wake her, I find that she’s in the exact position I left her, still staring at the same spot on the wall; a blank look on her face. I kneel at the side of the bed, directly in her line of sight. It’s as if she’s looking through me; as if I’m not even here.

  “Talk to me, Vittoria. Look at me. Anything.”

  Nothing.

  I’m not ashamed to admit that she is really scaring me. I don’t know how to help her, but trying the soft approach hasn’t worked, so I do the only thing I know.

  “LOOK AT ME, NYX… NOW.” Her eyes come to life, darting up to meet mine.

  “This is my fault. I was too lax with you. Obviously, I was wrong.”

  “This isn’t your fault, Logan. It’s who I am. There’s nothing you can do about it.”

  “Bullshit. For a start. Do not call me Logan. I am your Master and you will afford me the respect I deserve after the stunt you pulled today. I may not have been the Master you need up until this point, but rest assured, I won’t make the same mistake again. Sit up.”

  I watch the effort it takes for her to lift her small frame from the bed. She seems so defeated. It’s devastating.

  “Now, I need you to tell me what Liam was talking about. I’ve known for a long time that you’ve been keeping something from me. You were open about that fact. I thought if I gave you time, you would trust me enough to open up to me, but now I know that this isn’t about trust. This is about how you see yourself; about what you think is going to happen if you open up to me.”

  “I can’t tell you.”

  I grab her by the shoulders, fighting the urge to shake her in my frustration.

  “ENOUGH! You will tell me, Nyx. I won’t have a submissive that disrespects me. I can’t protect you and care for you properly if you don’t tell me what the hell is going on.”

  “You’ll look at me differently. I don’t want your pity. You won’t think I’m perfect anymore, you’ll think I’m dirty.”

  “FUCKING HELL! When are you going to understand? When are you going to grasp how much I love you? You’re tearing us apart because of something you think is going to happen. Nothing can be worse than what I just witnessed, and I’m still fucking here. You’re killing me.”

  I loosen my grip on her, caressing my hands up and over her shoulders, along her neck and onto her face, cupping her cheeks in my palms. My voice is soft but commanding, my gaze pinning her, entreating her to listen to me.

  “I will make a promise to you here and now. Nothing you could ever say, nothing you could ever do, or that has ever been done to you, would make me love you any less. You’re it for me, Vittoria. I don’t think you’re perfect, not by a long shot, but I love you, flaws and all. I love your strengths and your weaknesses. I love every part of you, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Please put your faith in that… in me. Let me help you. Please, Nyx… tell me why you hate yourself, when there is so much to love about you.”

  Her tears fall freely, drenching my hands. I pull her down onto the floor beside me, cradling her in my arms.

  “You have to tell me, baby…”

  Cries wrack her body, causing her to convulse in my arms. It breaks my heart to see her like this, but if she doesn’t face this now, I fear she might never come back from this. I thought her overdose was a cry for help. That in her heart of hearts she didn’t really want to die that day. I believed what I wanted to believe, because the alternative was too distressing, too awful to contemplate. I thought we were past the worst of it when she made it through rehab. But, now I see, it was just the beginning. The end of her career was a catalyst for so much more. Ballet was her way of coping, and when that was lost, it all came crashing down around her. She overdosed… to end her own life; to end her perpetual suffering. How did I not see that? How could I have failed her so badly?

  When her body settles and her cries diminish, I have to ask her again. I need to know.

  “What happened to you?”

  She lifts her gaze to mine, her eyes red and puffy, bloodshot from so many tears.

  “I was ten years old when it happened.”

  Shit. I steel myself for what I fear is coming. I know I need to hold it together for her, to be strong enough for both of us.

  “It was Carter’s fourteenth birthday party and all of my parents’ friends were there to help celebrate. People I had known my whole life. It was like any other day, any other party… until it wasn’t. I died that day. The Vittoria I was… happy and carefree, trusting… just… died.”

  I pull her closer, wishing I could take this away for her, but I don’t say a word, giving her the space she needs to continue.

  “Marcus was one of my dad’s best friends. He was like an uncle to me and Carter. We loved him. He was always the fun one, givi
ng us treats, and getting my dad to cave if we really wanted something. Carter idolized him. I don’t know how he managed to fool everyone for so many years. I don’t know why he did it. I wasn’t the only girl he…”

  She starts to shake in my arms. “It’s okay, Vittoria. I’m here with you. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.” I stroke her hair, trying to calm her rapid heartbeat I feel pounding against my chest.

  “He told me he had a surprise for me. That wasn’t unusual, so I didn’t think anything of it when he told me it was up in my bedroom waiting for me. He took my hand and led me upstairs, away from everyone. I knew something was different when he closed the door and turned the lock.”

  I don’t know if I can hear this.

  “He told me that if I screamed… he would hurt Carter. He knew that Carter was everything to me. I was terrified of anything happening to him, so I kept quiet while he…” She breaks down. “I can’t say it… please, don’t make me say it.”

  “Shhh. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” I need to know for certain. “Did he rape you?” It kills me even to say the words.

  She nods her head, dropping her gaze to the floor.

  My world crumbles around me. Everything I thought I knew, scatters into disarray. I am overcome with rage. I feel murderous, holding her broken, shaking body in my arms, and I need to take a moment to rein it in, because I can feel my own body beginning to shake. I try to breathe through the anger, my hands fisting so tight that it hurts.

  When I finally gain control of myself, I lift her chin, making sure she is looking into my eyes as I say these words. “Don’t ever hang your head in shame, Vittoria. You did nothing wrong. You were a child. He was an evil son of a bitch, and that is no reflection on who you are.” I wipe the tears from her eyes. “He took your innocence, and despite that, despite everything that you’ve been through, you have grown into the most amazing, caring, loving, extraordinary woman I have ever met. I could never think less of you. I love you even more.”

  Her eyes search mine, looking for some hint that I’m not being truthful with her.