Rebirth (Cross Book 1)

by Hildred Billings

  But there was something else about her bothering him, and he contemplated it as he stroked the back of Danielle’s head. “Do you love her?” Easy to admit to himself and Alicia, but admitting it to Miranda felt like walking into a death trap. What business was it of hers, anyway? Devon attempted to cuddle the woman next to him. She shifted and allowed his arm to sneak beneath her torso – the best he could do was hold her left arm next to him while his hands searched for her waist. Danielle sighed once they both settled again.

  “I love you,” he whispered, although there was neither relief nor freedom in saying it. He would never gain her undivided romantic love. He knew this in his first life as well, although back then he never confessed any kind of raw emotion to her.

  He knew why, but the reason fled from his memory as quickly as it appeared.

  “Maita,” he said to himself. Traitor. Why did Sonall have the urge to call Miranda that the moment he recognized her? Then she denied it? And she knew that language? Devon remembered everything again, as clear as day, as if he lived as Sonall again. He remembered what it meant to call someone a “traitor” where he came from. To brandish his weapon and kill them as their last act of honor. Then he forgot once more. The feelings, the wariness, and the dread were still there, but he could not remember why.

  The bed began to shake.

  At first it was a slight tremble, unrecognizable, and not strong enough to knock any of Danielle’s things over. She continued to sleep through it. Devon ignored the tremor as well until it reappeared beneath them again.

  This time it did not remain a tremor. Danielle bolted upright in her bed, shaking Devon’s arm off her. All four walls of her bedroom rocked in such ferocity that pictures fell and books collapsed in their shelves. Danielle shrieked as she was nearly knocked out of her own bed, but was saved by Devon’s arm holding her down. There was no time to run to a doorway. The best course of action was to pull the covers over their heads and place their hands over their faces in case something fell on them.

  The earthquake passed. They lay in silence, his arm clinging to her and her face burying into his neck. They remained in that position when another tremor passed a minute later.

  Sirens sounded with urgency. Devon mentioned turning on the TV – if it still worked – to see how bad it was, but Danielle continued to cling to him, one hand around his head and the other grabbing his shirt.

  “It’s happening, isn’t it?” Her tattoo brushed against his as she eased the grip on his clothing. “The world is tearing itself apart.”

  He held her closer, his strength crushing her ribs. There was nothing he wanted more than to tell her This isn’t our fault, but knew he had no room to make such a declaration. “We did what we had to do.”

  “But what do we do now? We were never told.”

  Devon had no idea. They remained in a lifeless embrace until Danielle’s phone rang. She pushed herself away from Devon and grabbed it, heart racing as she recognized Troy’s number.

  “Are you okay? Oh, thank God.” She was on the verge of crying. “Yes, we felt it. Yeah, the sirens too. TV? I really don’t want to see what they’re saying on the news. What? The station’s gone? God.”

  Devon could no longer listen. He waited until Danielle hung up and sat on the edge of the bed, her hands cradling her face as she muffled her sobs.

  He reached out to touch her, but she shook him off as if he were diseased. “What’s wrong? Is he okay?”

  She nodded so he would not worry about her friend.

  The next tremor did not come until near dawn when they were both asleep again. Devon was the one who woke up, his arms cradling his partner. She slept. The tremor served as a grim reminder that the next sunrise may be the last one Earth ever saw.

  ***

  “Around eleven o’clock last night, a large earthquake rocked the Bay Area, leaving entire streets in shambles and people homeless. We currently don’t have a death toll number, but affiliates are telling us that all hospitals are currently full.”

  Miranda changed the channel from her bed, where she sat upright at a bright and early six-thirty. She did not sleep through the earthquake.

  By six-thirty she was usually out of bed, showered, and getting ready for work, but M-Town’s operation status hotline called to announce a temporary shutdown. As much as she loved the idea of an impromptu day off… the world was ending.

  Still, spending the entire morning in bed did not seem like such a bad idea.

  Until she changed it to a national news station.

  “Reports are coming in that the Pacific coast saw a number of earthquakes last night. Faults from Alaska to Mexico saw incredible activity, including five 4.0 or greater earthquakes. Tremors were also felt throughout the region and as far away as Wyoming. The biggest earthquake was a 7.0 in Death Valley, and there’s still no word yet on search and recovery. Tsunamis are being counted throughout Japan and Indonesia, although none have caused any notable damage or loss of life.”

  Miranda changed the channel to a minister offering prayers to the sinners of the world now that Judgment had arrived. She flipped to another channel and saw a mentioning of an earthquake in Italy triggering avalanches across Scandinavia. All she wanted to do was watch early morning talk shows.

  Her cell phone rang nearby. It was Syrfila.

  “Hey, is the world ending over there, too?” Even over the phone, Syrfila’s smoking was audible. “That earthquake last night almost took out the building next to mine.”

  “I didn’t really feel it, I guess. I slept pretty hard since I still had a fucking headache.” That was officially the last time she would ever do cocaine.

  “I see.” Syrfila exhaled into the receiver. “Well, babe, I wish this was a pleasure call, but I’m afraid it’s anything but. I’ve got orders.”

  “Do you, now?”

  “Yup. I’m supposed to move into the final phases of the plan.”

  “Good for you.”

  There was a pause over the line. “I’m going to give you a choice, Miranda.”

  “Oh, a choice? Exciting. What do I get to choose from?”

  “The orders didn’t have anything to do with you. So, you can either join me, or you can ignore everything I’ve been saying for the past twenty years. I know your prerogative is to save Earth like some superhero but, if you’re with me then… maybe you won’t die alongside everyone else.”

  “Ah, so that means if I decide not to help you I can just sit here in bed and drink the last of my fantastic wine since I’m probably going to be obliterated?”

  “Yes. If you choose to put it that way.”

  “Hmm.” On TV, there were faces of pain, loss, and regret of words never said before loved ones were claimed by the climatic earth. A brief clip of a bush fire in Australia gave Miranda some much-needed perspective. “How do I know you won’t come grab me, anyway?”

  “You have my word. Peace before death is something I at least owe you.”

  “Your word really doesn’t mean much to me.”

  Syrfila laughed. “I’ll wait an hour for you. If you’re not here by eight, then I’ll assume you want to be left alone, and you may never have to hear from me again.”

  “That doesn’t leave me much time to say goodbye to my loved ones.”

  “What loved ones?”

  Miranda’s sarcastic smile plummeted into a frown. She gave a noncommittal answer and hung up, her mouth drying as her eyes refused to focus on the doom-and-gloom television programs before her. What right did Syrfila think she had to say those things? Miranda slammed her finger on her remote control, turning off the TV and plunging her into silence. She supposed she did have quite the choice. Do nothing, or aid Syrfila in Daddy Dearest’s dirty work.

  Or she could do her own thing like she always did.

  FORTY-SIX

  By nine, Danielle faced the crumbling world while rummaging for cereal. Devon was already up, scouring the internet for the latest natural disaster news from around the gl
obe.

  “Having fun?” Danielle called to him on the couch.

  He glanced up at her before going straight back to work. “No. Your laptop is as slow as fuck. What year is it?”

  “Dunno. Got it a couple of years ago. It’s standard.”

  “I can tell. I updated your antivirus for you and freed up your space to improve the speed. You’re welcome.”

  “Gee, good to see college taught you something.” She offered him some cereal from her ceramic bowl and scoffed at his abrupt decline. “What the hell could you possibly be doing?”

  “Counting the amount of doomsday crap going on in the world. San Andreas is cracking out and causing tsunamis in Asia, Australia is on fire, Europe is off its literal rocker, there’s probably a volcano about to go off in South America… we are so fucked.”

  Danielle shoved her bowl aside, no longer hungry after hearing about Earth getting ready for obliteration. “Well, at least we have the Third Piece.”

  “Am I the only one of us totally annoyed that we haven’t been told what to do now? I mean…you’d think Marlow would know what to do… but I honestly don’t think he does.”

  Danielle leaned over the back of her couch, “You’re the one with the memories. Haven’t we gotten this far before?”

  “Yeah, a couple of times, but I don’t really remember stuff like that. All I remember is dying.”

  Danielle fixed her temples between her fingers and regarded the back of her own laptop with a frown. “Maybe we should go see him.”

  “Would that do any good? He’s been so horrible at telling us anything at all. Think about it, we’ve been on our own for almost this whole ordeal.”

  Danielle did not want to think about that, for it implied the man she put her trust and life into – over and over again – did not do the best he could to help them succeed. “I don’t know what to say or do then, Devon. My hands are tied. You make the call.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “I mean,” she sat up and took the cereal bowl back to the kitchen, “you decide what we do now. Earth is starting to dismantle, and if we don’t do something, we’re going to be obliterated with everyone else. Except then we’ll be reborn somewhere else and have to start all over yet again.”

  Devon closed the laptop. “Don’t put it all on me! We’re supposed to be partners. Besides… you’re the brains.”

  “Ha!” Danielle tossed the bowl into the sink with a loud clang. “If I ever really was that smart at planning shit, then I lost it somewhere over the past thousand years.”

  “Stop putting yourself down.”

  Danielle glared at Devon from the kitchen. “Excuse me?”

  “You always put yourself down. ‘Oh, I’m not really smart.’ ‘Oh, I don’t think I can really do that.’ Shut. Up. If you refuse to fully regress, at least allow yourself to access that one amazing part of yourself. Otherwise we will lose again.”

  “Don’t talk to me that way.”

  “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings.” Devon placed the laptop on the coffee table and got off the couch. The counter was the only thing separating them – and probably the only thing protecting Devon from a swift kick to his groin. “We used to really be something. You know why we were always sent on missions together? Because we were the best. You would plan everything out and I would help you act. Retrieve a kidnapped politician? Done before dinner. Carry confidential documents across the galaxy? You could fly a ship with your eyes closed while I fought off everything that tried to board! I know we don’t seem like much now, but why do you think we were asked, Danielle? Why do you think it was us that was charged with saving the world? Because we were the best.”

  Danielle shook her head. “We’re not those people anymore, Devon. We’re new people. Look at yourself… you couldn’t fight off an invading horde with a team let alone by yourself! I know you think you can, because you’ve done it before, but that was in a different body. Please don’t insult me. I’m not a commander. I’m just a pen-pushing lieutenant who barely survived Basic Training.”

  “I’m telling you we’re the same people!”

  “And I’m telling you that we have to be realistic. We’re not on that planet anymore. We’re on Earth! Earth. It’s different rules here. God, you know what, I’m glad I haven’t regressed, because then I wouldn’t be as delusional as you!”

  “No. That’s not why you haven’t regressed.”

  Danielle was tired of this. “Then why haven’t I, if you know me so well?”

  It was all Devon could do to keep from pointing another finger at her. “Marlow was right – you’re refusing to remember something. Planets can die around you and you still refuse to remember. Sulim is still alive inside you, but she’s been so traumatized by whatever the fuck you’re scared of that you won’t let her out! How does it feel, Danielle? How does it feel to keep a scared and hurt woman locked up inside your mind? You don’t even know that the thing she wants most is nearby.”

  Danielle took in a deep breath, her cheeks flushing a maddening red. “What I do with my own existence is not up to you, Devon – ‘cause may I remind you that’s who you are now – and I am so fucking sick of these games you and the Old Man are playing with me! So what if I die? So what if I die and get reborn again? You know what? I hope I do die, just so I can start over and forget about this again for a little while!” Her lip trembled as it held in another scream. “Leave me alone. Stop trying to save me. I don’t care what you feel about me, just let me deal with shit on my own terms.” She slapped her hand on the counter and marched off.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To get dressed!”

  She slammed her bedroom door shut. As much as Devon understood her position, the thing he could not understand was her desire to not remember a damn thing from before.

  A smile as fragile as a butterfly’s wings crossed his face: she really had not changed at all. She was stubborn, hard-headed, obstinate… any word that he came up with applied to her as if they were her calling cards. When they were not sitting in silence, Sulim and Sonall would often bicker and point out each other’s flaws – he was too boorish and she was too prudish. But they were a team, and the most formidable one on their planet. When they “retired” to take up their new stations, their rivals rejoiced and their customers threatened to kidnap them. Sonall was never too heartbroken about staying on Cerilyn to act as his chief’s heir, but Sulim threw the biggest fit in the universe when she was “downgraded” to bodyguard. Sonall had no idea what happened between the two women, but one day Sulim appeared next to her chief at events with a dour demeanor.

  “She’ll come around,” he muttered. “She always does. I think.”

  ***

  Danielle found some peace from Devon’s past-life ramblings when he decided to take a shower later that morning. She ate some fruit, did her dishes, and made sure to never turn on her laptop or television.

  She sat at her counter, swirling a spoon in her coffee and scratching at a pimple on her cheek. Once upon a time, she would have taken a spontaneous day off like this to sleep more, do chores, and watch movies all day. But with the world crumbling, Danielle could not see the point in getting excited over dying again.

  “The last thing I will drink in this life is instant coffee.” She held the cup up to her lips and sipped with little fervor. “And I forgot the sugar. Of course. Go Danielle.”

  The shower continued in the bathroom. Between that and Danielle zoning out, she almost never heard her doorbell ring. She received a burst of enthusiasm from the assumption that Troy had come to visit and give her a hug. She took another sip of coffee and placed the cup on the counter. The first smile of the day crossed her face as she went to the door.

  “I’m so glad you…”

  A woman with dark hair looked back at her.

  “Came? Why, thank you.” Syrfila pushed her way into the door and grabbed Danielle by the collar. “I’m excited to be here, too!”

 
; “What do you want?” Danielle had two more seconds of breath left.

  “Move, and I kill you.”

  Danielle was knocked to her knees, the breath blowing out of her like steam from an engine. Before she could fight back, Syrfila jabbed her thigh with a needle. Danielle was soon out like the lights in some cities.

  Syrfila left her on the floor before slipping into the bedroom and turning everything inside out. As the shower continued to run in the bathroom, she opened and closed drawers and sniffed through Danielle’s closet.

  “Fuck it all, where is it?” She checked beneath Danielle’s unmade bed for Miranda’s ring. When she could not find it there either, she turned to the nightstand and pried the bottom drawer open, finding Danielle’s small collection of sexual paraphernalia. “Damnit!” Syrfila slammed the drawer shut. The shower had stopped running.

  She had about one minute before Devon finished drying off and came walking into the bedroom. Syrfila knew she had one option left.

  “Where’s the fucking ring?” She kicked open the bathroom door and caught Devon with his clothes half on. “Answer me!”

  Devon’s heart stopped. “Holy shit, we shot you!”

  Syrfila took one moment to lower her guard and admire the small bandage on her face. “I heal well. And thanks for that memento!” She shook her gun in his direction. “Now tell me where the Third Piece is, or I blow off your face!”

  Devon managed to catch his hand on the sink before falling over. “Go ahead. Not like I haven’t had my brains blown out before.”

  Snorting in disdain, Syrfila pointed her gun toward Danielle, who remained strewn across her living room floor like discarded laundry. “I suppose she’s had her brains blown before too, right?” Syrfila laughed at the dawning realization spreading across Devon’s countenance. “Do you really want us to have to do that again?”

  “I don’t know where it is.”