“Mention being head cheerleader,” Ashley whispered back.
Alex frowned to herself. She wasn’t comfortable using something that didn’t really feel like a true reflection of her as currency to gain access to the sorority. She wanted to do things at Princeton on her terms.
“And you,” Taylor was now standing before Ashley, having already assessed her outfit and given a nod of approval.
“Ashley Castennetta, majoring in political studies, and I’m a legacy.”
“A legacy, nice.” Taylor gave another approving nod.
“And you.” She stood before Alex and waited.
Alex took a quick intake of nervous breath. “Alexandra Heron, majoring in mathematics, and I’m a classically trained violinist.”
“Violin?” Taylor smiled slightly at this. “I played cello.”
She moved straight on to the next girl, leaving Alex unsure if she’d done enough to impress the pledge chair and gain access to Kappa Pi.
“You play the violin?” Ashley whispered, sounding impressed.
“I used to,” Alex answered modestly.
“Awesome.”
Taylor’s decision about the twelve girls who would be allowed to pledge was both swift and brutal. She called a dozen names, the girls whose names she didn’t call had to leave immediately. Alex felt as though she were a part of some daytime reality show. There were even tears from those who didn’t make the cut.
But both Ashley and Alex had made it through. Ashley squeezed Alex’s hand with excitement as they stood in a now much smaller line.
“So you will be our pledges,” Taylor welcomed them. “Despite what you will undoubtedly hear around campus regarding rush, we don’t make our pledges suffer. If you keep your grades up and attend our social events, chances are you’ll become a part of the sorority officially before spring.”
Some of the girls clapped excitedly at this.
“Remember that as much fun as college life is, not to lose focus on your studies, as they are, after all, the reason you are all here,” Taylor told the younger students sagely.
Finally dismissed, Alex realized just how tired she was. As she and Ashley began to walk back towards campus, she yawned and stretched, desperate to get back into her bed. It was infinitely more comfortable than the bunk she’d been sleeping on in the trailer.
“I need a nap,” Alex noted sleepily.
Ashley didn’t respond; she was busy texting on her phone.
“Who are you texting?” Alex asked.
“Brad.” Ashley giggled girlishly. “Fancy going to a party tonight?”
****
Alex awoke to find her head throbbing and her mouth as dry as sandpaper. Stretching out from beneath the covers, she found that her entire body ached, each limb protesting every time she moved it.
Groaning, she forced herself to sit up and try to get her bearings. Bright light filtered in beneath the curtains, and she could already feel that the air outside was hot and heavy. Glancing round, she fixed on the alarm clock beside her bed and was shocked to find that it was eleven in the morning.
As the fog of sleep began to clear, Alex felt a panicked sensation rising up from the base of her spine. She’d been due to attend her first class that morning.
She tried to assure herself that she had gotten her days mixed up, that actually classes started the following day. Rummaging frantically through her backpack, she found her class schedule, and as she read it, the panic intensified and was joined by a sinking feeling in her stomach.
Alex’s first class was that morning at ten. She was already an hour late for a two-hour class and had yet to shower and change. Looking back at her bed, she wanted nothing more than to hide beneath her duvet and wish her day away. But then as she looked at her bed, she saw the picture of her father smiling proudly beside it. He’d want Alex to do her best, not throw away such an amazing opportunity to study and learn.
Begrudgingly, Alex grabbed her shower kit and headed for the communal bathroom.
****
With her hair still damp Alex pulled on some jeans and a T-shirt, hurriedly filling her backpack with anything she might need for her class. It was then that she noticed that Ashley was still nestled within her bed, oblivious of the day she was rapidly sleeping through.
“Come on, lazybones!” Alex declared, her voice annoyingly loud and bright as she pulled the pink duvet off her roommate’s bed.
The moment the duvet had been moved, Alex froze in shameful shock. Ashley was not alone in her bed. Brad was curled up beside her, completely naked.
Panicked, Alex threw the cover back over them.
“Sorry!” she mumbled, turning crimson.
“Is it morning?” Ashley asked groggily, rubbing at her eyes. Brad hadn’t stirred.
“Yeah, it’s like eleven.” Alex sighed. “I’m late for class.”
“Don’t sweat it. First class doesn’t count.” Ashley smiled.
Alex wasn’t sure if she agreed but didn’t have the time to argue about it. “Do you have class?” Alex asked.
“Not ’til three.”
“Lucky for you, then.”
“Yep.” Ashley yawned and stretched.
Alex hovered nervously at the end of the bed. She didn’t like the thought of entering her class so late. Everyone would look at her like she was some lazy, rebellious student. While that had been the persona she wanted to project at Woodsdale, it certainly wasn’t how she wanted to be seen at Princeton.
“Tell them you got lost,” Ashley offered, noticing Alex’s troubled expression.
“For over an hour?” Alex didn’t sound convinced.
“Yeah, it’s a big campus, you’re new. I bet it happens loads.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I’m always right, don’t worry,” Ashley joked. “Good luck with your class.”
“Good luck with yours later.” Alex smiled.
“We’ll regroup here this evening,” Ashley declared. “First I need to sneak Brad out of here. We aren’t supposed to have boys stay over, but where’s the fun in that?” she asked cheekily.
“I wonder if he’d fit out the window?” Ashley mused while Alex headed out the door and into the corridor.
****
After easily locating her class, Alex paused outside, reconsidering the plausibility of her excuse that she’d gotten lost.
She waited uneasily by the door, palms sweating as she contemplated her options. She knew that she had to go in; she was just terrified of all the eyes that would suddenly turn her way when she did.
Finally, an invisible force seemed to propel Alex forward, and she was within the classroom before she had a chance to consider retreat.
The classroom was immensely larger than any she had encountered at Woodsdale. Instead of individual desks, students sat in tiered rows, almost as if in a theater, with small, fold-out desks to work on.
At the front of the room a middle-aged man in a camel-colored vest used a pointer to emphasize a point within the presentation he was showing. As the lights were dimmed for the presentation, it gave Alex a slight cloak as she entered the room.
She could feel people’s eyes upon her as they turned to look and silently judge her tardiness. She forced herself to ignore them and focus solely on the spare seat she had spotted.
Once she sat down, she relaxed a little, though still braced for the verbal beating that would surely be bestowed from her professor down below.
In high school when a student was late, the teacher always took the opportunity to publically mock and ridicule them, making an example of them so that other students would think twice about being late.
“Oh, Miss Heron, too busy doing your hair to attend class?” Miss Davies would say from behind clenched teeth whenever Alex was late for Spanish studies. “There’s more to life than looks, you know.”
Alex would ignore the old woman and just sit down.
But here, things were different. Here, she wanted to be taken seri
ously, not seen as some dumb blonde who cheers. It felt surreal to be potentially fighting against the persona she had created at Woodsdale and had assumed it had been left there.
The professor, however, continued to talk to the class, seemingly unaware of Alex’s late arrival. He concluded his presentation and raised the lights, and only then did he glance towards Alex.
“I don’t condone late arrivals,” he called up simply to her. “Either attend on time or not at all. You get one chance to be late; you’ve just used yours.”
Before Alex could explain that she’d been fake-lost, he turned away from her and continued to teach. There was no threat of detention, no public shaming. Alex realized that he didn’t really care if Alex turned up or not, as the only person she was cheating was herself. Feeling embarrassed, she opened her notebook and did her best to follow the remainder of the lesson.
Alex didn’t regret going out the previous night. The party at Brad’s friend’s house had been a lot of fun. Probably too much fun. Alex hadn’t intended to stay late, but once she’d downed a few beers, time seemed to lose all relevance, and one moment she was dancing along to some song she’d never heard, the next she was waking up in her bed and it was eleven in the morning.
Wearily she rubbed her eyes and continued to make notes. Her head had begun to throb, but she ignored it. Once class was over she could go back to her dorm room and sleep. Sleep away the shame and the fatigue until she felt refreshed again.
****
When class was finally over Alex was relieved to let her mind relax once more. She thought about going to apologize to her professor for being late but thought better of it. She knew that her words wouldn’t be enough; he’d want proof that she was a serious, dedicated student and the only way she could show that was through her work.
The class had already been assigned a problem, which she was determined to solve that very afternoon, after she’d had a much-needed power nap.
As her peers filtered out of the class, Alex tried to linger nearby, perhaps even connect with someone from her class and make a new friend, but they were all giving her a wide berth. Initially she thought it was in her mind, but as she approached a group of girls, they quickly departed.
Alex felt very much the outsider as she came out into the sunshine of the courtyard. The whole area was bustling with activity as students were scurrying to and from class or sitting on the grass, some alone, some in pairs or groups. Reading, laughing or listening to music, there was so much energy, so much movement, it was exhilarating.
Walking with the sun on her back, Alex wished that Ashley didn’t have a class that afternoon. It would have been nice if they could have sat out on the grass and talked and laughed and had fun.
But Alex stopped herself from wishing for an afternoon of sunshine. She had work to do, had to prove her worth. The old cheerleader Alex would have wasted the day basking on the immaculate lawns. Alexandra Heron, serious student and sorority pledge, needed to get her priorities in order. Alex began to fear that the old habits she’d cultivated back in Woodsdale might not be so easy to escape as she’d initially predicted.
****
Back in her dorm room, Alex found that both Brad and Ashley were now gone. A neatly made pink bed left no trace of the previous night’s debauchery.
Alex sat on her bed and considered going to sleep. She was exhausted, but the bright light outside made her feel guilty to waste a day sleeping.
Emptying her backpack, she decided it would be best to get on with her studies. She moved over to her desk and noticed a stamped envelope waiting for her. Her name and address was written in a spiderlike scrawl on the front. Opening it, she smiled when she saw that the letter was from Mark.
Alex,
I was so thrilled to get your letter. As if I could ever forget you! You’re all I’ve thought about since you left.
I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying Princeton. I’ve no doubt that you’ll work hard there and do amazingly well. I’m proud that you’ve felt confident to be the real you and no longer hide behind secrets. The real Alex Heron is amazing, trust me, and everyone is going to love her!
Woodsdale is the same as ever. A new school year has already started, and I’ve lost count of the detentions I’ve handed out! But you don’t want to hear about my boring school life. I want to hear all about your exciting college life! Is it everything you hoped it would be?
I don’t want to sound patronising and like a father, but make sure you keep focused on your studies. I know what an exciting time freshman year can be. I myself was certainly no stranger to parties, but remember the bigger goal, while, of course, having fun.
You’ve worked so hard to get there, make it all count.
I’m saying all this when I’m certain you’re already top of your class and impressing your professors!
Write back soon with all your student adventures!
Love,
Mark
X
Looking at the letter made Alex suddenly feel nauseous. She moved it from her sight and doubled over, her forehead on her knees, waiting for the feeling to pass.
As she sat there, she realized that she felt sick with guilt. Mark saw so much in Alex, saw her potential and the great things she could achieve. The fact that she’d been late to her first-ever class was now making her feel wretched.
She thought also of her father and how he’d react if he’d known. He’d berate her for wasting such an opportunity and tell her to focus and get it together.
As the sick feeling finally passed, Alex looked down at her desk, where her math assignment was waiting to be completed. Mark’s letter lay discarded on the floor.
She wanted so much to sleep, to give her body a chance to rest and recover, but she knew she needed to work, needed to prove her worth. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was one in the afternoon. She had ample time to complete her assignment and rest before Ashley returned from her class.
Grabbing a pen, Alex settled down to complete her first assignment.
****
“Congratulations, girls.” Taylor Patterson smiled sweetly at the eight girls lined up before her. She was wearing a mint green and pink check dress, the colors of Kappa Pi.
Behind her the rest of the sorority looked on, all of them wearing the exact same dress. Each girl looked immaculate, from her makeup to her hair, even down to her toenails, which would be painted in either the obligatory pink or green, or even a combination of both. Image was very important within Kappa Pi.
“You have survived pledging and can now be welcomed into the Kappa Pi fold as sisters!” Taylor’s smiled broadened as she delivered the good news to the girls before her.
Alex stood nervously next to Ashley. They were both wearing a plain green version of the checked dress that was the uniform of the initiation ceremony.
For the past three months both Alex and Ashley had struggled to balance their heavy college workload with all the parties they wanted to attend and also their pledging duties. Not that the pledging part had been that time consuming. Mainly they were judged upon their grades. That, coupled with a number of occasions where they had to go and help at sorority events, was all it had taken for them to become fully fledged Kappa Pi’s. They could now remove their pledge pin and wear the necklace bearing the sorority’s Greek symbols, which they were now being presented with.
“I’m so excited,” Ashley buzzed eagerly. She flashed Alex her perfect smile, pleased that they could share the experience together.
Before they were given their necklaces, each girl had to take a vow pledging allegiance to the sorority. It was all a bit alien to Alex. It was an even more intense process than joining the cheerleading squad had been, and she’d thought that was bad enough.
Between the vow and the whole pomp of the ceremony, it was clear that being a sister in the house was taken very seriously.
“Welcome, sister.” It was the Kappa Pi president, Casey, who placed each precious necklace upon the new members o
f the sorority.
“Our house is your house.” She smiled kindly at them, and Alex wondered if the moment was bittersweet for her, as they could only move into the house once all the seniors moved out at the end of the school year. For a while yet Ashley and Alex would remain in their dorm room, but they had already been told that they could continue to be roommates within the sorority house, which excited them both.
Alex couldn’t wait to move in. The house was so lavish and pristine that it reminded her of her old home and made her feel even more connected with the girl she had once been. It was hard to believe, as she stood on the hardwood floor, a bright gold necklace belonging to an elitist group hanging from her neck, that back in Woodsdale she lived in a simple trailer.
Once the formalities of the ceremony were over, the girls were allowed to disperse and chat among themselves while pink and green cocktails were served in martini glasses.
“I’m so glad we both got in!” Ashley beamed, fiddling with her new necklace between her polished fingers. She’d opted for a pink shade to compliment her dress and maintain the theme of Kappa Pi.
“Yeah, it’s so exciting,” Alex agreed, still glancing around the house in awe.
“My mom and dad can’t wait to meet you over parents’ weekend.” Ashley giggled excitedly. Parents’ weekend was just a few weeks away and was an event run by the college to give anxious parents an opportunity to come and check on their offspring while not being overly intrusive. They were welcome guests that weekend rather than overbearing mothers and fathers.
“Is your mom coming?” Ashley asked.
“Probably not.” Alex sighed, knowing there was no probably about it. Despite the lavish life she was now embroiled in, circumstances hadn’t changed back home. Both her mom and Andy were still in the trailer, still struggling to make ends meet. Alex tried to push the thought to the back of her mind. Each time she thought of them there, she was overwhelmed with guilt.
Lessons in Love Page 15
