Duality

by Layla Heart

  We slide on our side, legs entangled, hands everywhere, as our lips keep meeting, tongues dancing together, teeth nipping at lips, exploring and teasing each other.

  The room gets hotter and hotter, like there is a fire burning somewhere, but there isn’t anything.

  Then our movements slow down, kisses easing, eyes lazily gazing into each other, our breathing slowing down. Coming back to the world.

  She reaches up, sliding a strand of hair behind my ear. “Yes,” she whispers, “I may have been a little jealous when you kissed them.”

  I smile, kissing the palm of her hand. “Now you won’t have to be anymore.”

  “No, not anymore. And I have an advantage over them anyway.” Her eyes are warm like embers, a slow burning, keeping the heat inside me going.

  “Which is?”

  “I get to sleep in the same room as you.” She smirks, curling an arm under her head as she looks at me. “This side of you, I didn’t imagine you’d be like this. At all.”

  “Good or bad?” I pull my pillow down so I can put my head on it as I slide my other hand along her arm and weave our fingers together between us.

  “Both.” She lets out a slow breath. “You’re grounded, sensible, not easily scared. You’re also passionate and head over heels for the princes.”

  “And for you.” I’m not sure it’s the right thing to say, but as I watch her smile, I guess it is.

  “And for me.” Her voice is even lower. “It’ll get you, and all of us, into so much trouble. Most of which we don’t even know about yet. And I’m sure none of us will be backing down, just because of a couple of complications.”

  “I guess.” I squeeze her hand a little. “But you’re wrong about one thing. I’m scared. Really scared. I don’t... I don’t want anyone to get hurt, especially not because of me.”

  Phoenix leans closer, putting her forehead against mine. “And that’s why none of us can leave you be.” She closes her eyes, but I still catch a glimpse of pain flashing through them. “It’s not the prophecy that pulls us towards you, it’s you. Who you are. I never believed in fated mates, I never believed in any of that ‘no matter how you try, you can’t break the bond’ crap that some elders like to sprout. But watching you with the princes, being at your side. I believe. I fully believe.”

  What? Fated mates? Connections? What? What is she talking about? What does that even mean? Are our feelings not real? Or are they?

  But I don’t voice any of those questions as I watch her relax, slowly drifting off, her breathing slowing down, while she’s still fully dressed and in my bed.

  7

  After the hectic week last week, the weekend was almost anticlimactically quiet. Litha and Phoenix came over, we watched movies, talked about nothing consequential and ate delicious meals. It felt like the calm before the storm, and maybe that’s exactly what it was too. Our quiet before the storm we knew was coming up.

  I did learn a lot about what Litha likes, cuddling, mostly, and sweet things to eat. And Phoenix is great at pissing Finn off and teasing Kit. She can’t seem to get a rise out of Rune, but it was fun to watch her try.

  There were kisses, a lot of kisses to go with her cuddles, for everyone, but no more repeats of the breakfast at the cafe. Nothing sexual, just sensuality and simple touches. Which was too bad, but at the same time, it felt right, this softness felt right. It felt like we were healing a little, healing from the rough edges of the week.

  I guess it felt like we were normal teens for a weekend, rich, but fairly normal teens. Yesterday, Aideen even joined us for a couple of hours, saying that we were kidnapping her friend, which somehow got a rise out of Phoenix. I didn’t expect that to happen, but was fun to watch. It was... almost normal.

  But sitting at the table Monday morning, trying to get some breakfast into me, I’m not ready to let the weekend go, even though I know that classes are starting today and Dad has a new trainer for us for our combat skills, who will probably start today too. I scroll through my social media on my phone, glancing at a couple of posts from people, but not really interacting with anything, not awake enough for it.

  “Morning.” Kit stumbles into the dining room in just his tight boxer briefs and an open bathrobe, his hair still wet from the shower. He slumps down in a chair, taking a deep breath. “Where are the other two?” He reaches over the table and pours himself some coffee.

  “Haven’t seen them yet.” Rune and Kit haven’t made up over the weekend, which I kind of expected to happen, so everything is still weird. This is the longest these two have been upset with each other ever, even while they’re pretending that nothing is wrong. When you’re used to seeing them always together, being a unit more than two separate people, it’s obvious when they’re only being polite to each other, when their anger isn’t gone yet.

  “Okay.” He grabs a couple of slices of bread, the jar with honey and a knife and puts them all on his plate. Then he stands up again, taking the plate.

  “Kit.” He stops at my voice, slowly looking my way. “We eat breakfast at the table.”

  He snorts, rolling his eyes at me. “We’re not little kids anymore. I’m taking these upstairs. I still have to pack my bag, prepare for class, or whatever excuse he’ll accept. You can come up with something.” Then he takes the plate and his mug, and leaves the room again.

  I close my eyes with a groan. I’m so not ready for all of this to start, to be the responsible one who keeps everyone in line. Why is it always me? Why do I have to be the one who makes everything run smoothly?

  The wolf in me is rearing to just force them together, herd them together in a single place and make them face each other. Just force them to confront what’s going on, because this tension isn’t good, it’s not right.

  But that’s too simplistic, especially because the hurt between them goes so deep. It’s much more than just a disagreement, it’s a breach of their friendship, of their love. Kit trusted Rune implicitly, but Rune kept something very important from him, and it’s hard to argue with Kit’s anger when he’s right.

  I watch on as the new trainer makes Rune and Finn face off, the guys are the best matched of our foursome. I’m taller and bigger than Finn, but I’m by far not as well trained as he is, and I’m no match against Rune’s pure force. So I’m sitting at the sidelines, watching them go through their training for the morning, trying to learn from watching them. Waiting until it’s my own turn. Kit is in class, he’s taking an early Monday morning class, so he got out of the morning training. Which is a little unfair, because I’m sure he could use the release of energy, and putting him up against Rune would probably do them both good, fight this out in a safe environment.

  Movement next to me makes me look up and Dad sits down next to me on the steps. “How are they doing?”

  I shrug. “They seem to be doing well, but they always do.” I look back over the training fields. “Any particular reason you’re here?”

  “Do you want your poor old man gone?” He lets out a low laugh. “Don’t answer that. I know that guys your age don’t want their dad around all the time, makes time with the girls harder. No, I’m here for you.”

  “Why?” I glance his way, and he looks more serious than I expect him to look. “What’s going on?”

  “My brother, our king, asked for you. He wants you to visit him when you have time this week. Talk about your responsibilities and classes, I presume.” He shrugs, not looking very excited about it all.

  “‘When I have time’? I don’t think I have time, you booked me full for the rest of the semester, including when I can sleep.” I sigh, closing my eyes for a moment.

  “He still wants to meet. I’d advise a dinner meeting, tends to make things easier.” He puts his hand on my shoulder. “Worked on my dad, anyway.” His dad, the previous king, who passed away before I was even born. I’ve only ever heard stories about him, about how he was very involved in his kids’ lives, how he kept everyone in line.

  “How do you d
o it?”

  “Do what?”

  “Keep everyone together, keep things running smoothly. Keep everyone happy.” I ball my hands into fists, hating feeling this clueless. I’m not used to not having everyone around and getting along fine.

  “They’re still fighting?”

  I nod. “It’s like they just... I don’t know.”

  “They’re going to have to figure it out on their own. All you can do is try to prevent everything from falling apart even more, and be there when things get back to normal.” He stands up. “Come by my apartment around dinner. I’ve got something you may find interesting, give you peace of mind or something.”

  I glance at him, frowning, but he just smiles. “I’ll try, I’ll see if I’ve got space in my schedule.”

  “I bet you can find time.” He nods and then walks around the back of the house, towards the apartment building he stays at. Meeting the king, seeing my dad... How am I supposed to have time to myself, or even time simply to study? It’s like I’m a kid all over, all freedoms taken away.

  My phone bings and I slip it out of my pocket, finding a message from Litha. ‘Good morning, are you in class?’

  If I’d been in class, I probably shouldn’t have my phone with me, or send her a message back... ‘No, just watching Rune and Finn work up a sweat.’ Which is a mental image she probably appreciates, what I’ve been getting to know about her.

  ‘Mind if I join you?’ As expected.

  I grin. ‘You’ll have to be fast, they’re about to be done.’

  ‘On my way!’

  I smile as I watch the message, a fluttering in my stomach and my heart a little lighter. She’s cute and a little predictable, but in fun ways. It’s pretty obvious what she likes, and guys working out likely ranks pretty high on that list.

  A couple of minutes later, she comes around the side of the house, her face red and she’s out of breath. Then she slumps down next to me, leaning against me. “Ah, they’re still at it.”

  I let out a laugh as I kiss her on top of her head, her burned rosemary scent stirring sensations inside me. “Yes, they’re still training. But if you keep looking at them like that, I’m not sure for how much longer.”

  “Look at them how?” She glances at me, flashing me a wicked smile.

  “Like that.” I grin, leaning in and kissing her on her lips. She grabs hold of my shirt and I deepen the kiss. She tastes so good and having her here definitely lifts my mood. I wrap my arm around her back and pull her against me closer, pleased with how well she fits against me, how easy this is.

  “Hey! If you’re going to dry-hump each other, get a room!” Finn calls out from the training field.

  I break the kiss, grinning. “You’re just jealous because you’re feeling left out.”

  “Hell yes.” Finn glares. “Either wait for me or get a room.”

  I grin and next to me Litha bursts out laughing. Rune and Kit may still be fighting, but Finn is a lot more relaxed these days, especially around Litha. I guess there has been definite progress on some fronts, but I really hope that Rune and Kit can stop fighting soon, because it’s making Litha worry too, and that’s not good.

  8

  I’m sitting behind the princes’ halls, on the grass next to the training fields, Litha is sitting next to me reading a book, and Finn is walking over, still dripping from his shower. I don’t have an interest in guys, but I’m definitely envious of his long hair, so smooth and long and soft... So different from my wild locks which will never stay the way I want them to.

  “I still don’t get it.” Litha groans and she pushes the book out of her lap. “How am I supposed to use a power if I don’t even know how I used it last time? This book doesn’t make it easier.”

  Before coming over, I picked up a book about magic from the library. It’s a really old book, from before the connections between the human world and this world got quite as closed off as they are now. It was all I could think of to help her make sense of her powers. The magic has always been so natural to me, forever flowing inside me and I just had to reach out to grasp it. But I have no idea how to explain how to use it to someone else, and Litha doesn’t seem to want to wait to learn it. “What doesn’t make sense?”

  “Any of it. I don’t have a ‘river of energy’ inside me, never had. I also don’t have some magical ‘third eye’ that will tell me when there is something strange about the world or something.” She lets out a deep breath. “It makes no sense to me.”

  Finn sits down on her other side. “How did you use it last time? When you pulled me back?”

  Pulled him back? I’d heard a vague semi-explanation of what she’d done with her magic last time from her, but Litha hadn’t really been able to explain it very well. Which, with her inability to even grasp the concept of magic or how it flows, makes sense.

  “I just knew I had to get to you, that if I could get to you things would be okay. That’s all. I didn’t do anything else. I just reached out to you and touched you.” She flutters with her hands and only seeming to get more frustrated and flustered.

  Finn grabs her hands, making her look at him. “You reached through a very strong static field, through a cloud filled with electric sparks which were trying to keep you out, and touched me. You used your magic to do that, to reach me and protect yourself.”

  She shakes her head almost violently, glaring. “You don’t get it. I didn’t do anything.”

  “Litha. Litha.” I put my hand on her arm and she finally looks at me. “You trusted that he wouldn’t hurt you. Right?” That would explain things, a little.

  She shakes her head again, but softer this time, almost sad. “I just knew I had to get to him, keep him safe. That I could keep him safe if I could just reach him. That’s all. I had no idea that the sparks could hurt me at all, never considered them.”

  “Kit said that right before she went over to me, he couldn’t hold her anymore, like the air around her was burning. Too hot to get close.” Finn lets out a slow breath. “The protection came out of herself, not somewhere else. The sparks will hurt anyone, they don’t consider friend or foe, as the others know very well.” He looks almost sad. Hurting his friends, even when he doesn’t want to, yeah, that can’t be a good feeling.

  “So your magic is shielding magic. Fire based, if we go by Kit’s description.” I nod. “Triggered by the need to protect others. That makes sense.”

  “Why?” Litha looks at me curiously.

  I shrug. “Because that’s who you are. You’d do anything to protect them. Anyone can see that. But it’s a good starting point for us to make sense of things.”

  “What’s your magic?” She glances my way, less confident now. “I’ve seen you use it to dry your hair and things like that, but I’ve not seen what it is, exactly.”

  I nod slowly, feeling a little awkward. “My magic is healing-based. I can heal wounds and things like that. The hot hands I do to make my hair dry faster isn’t really fire magic, more like using a lot of energy to steam my hair dry. It’s... small magic.”

  Finn laughs and shakes his head. “Interesting type, but I guess it’s better than exploding light bulbs when you’re upset. Less potential for damage.”

  “Oh, I can do damage.” I take a slow breath, my heart heavy. “Phoenix means rebirth. It mostly expresses itself in healing magic, but for rebirth, you need death first...”

  “Right.” Litha looks a little uncomfortable. “Have you... Have you harmed someone?”

  I nod, looking down at my hands. “I have. It was... bad.” It was out of self-protection. But to hurt someone, even when they’d have killed me if I didn’t kill them first, it’s still not a good feeling. It’s something I prefer to not think about.

  “We all have.” Finn’s voice is low and a shiver goes down my spine, chilling me inside, but I know it’s the truth. I think most people on this campus have that experience, or have seen harm happen from close by.

  “Oh.” Litha reaches out and takes my han
d. “I’m so sorry about that.” Her touch is warmer this time, like unnaturally warm, and when I glance at Finn, he seems to be feeling the same thing. She has no idea how to control her magic, but it’s obvious that she’s tapping into it somehow.

  Her magic is related to her need to protect us, at least part of it is. Now we have to find a safe way to have her practice it... Safe for her, and for us too...

  I’m in our room with Ember at my side, reading a book on rituals and the proper rituals for protection and guarding places or people. I only had one class today, an advanced rituals class, and I now have to memorise the first chapter of the book before next week. It’s all about guarding and protection, which aren’t really the most complicated rituals, generally, but there are still about twenty of them, which will take a while to memorise. Litha is in her class on astronomy, which she has together with Rune and Kit, so she won’t be back for a few more hours.

  But even as I’m trying to go through all the rituals, I keep thinking back to my plan from earlier today, trying to figure out if the ritual I’m reading could be used for it. If we need to bring out her protective nature to have her train her magic, then using a protection ritual might keep us all safe while we sort-of put each other in dangerous situations, but that doesn’t guarantee it will trigger her magic and it would be really exhausting to keep doing rituals to help her.

  Once you see how her magic works, it’s very obvious. The way she protects everyone and how her magic spikes when she thinks there is trouble going on, but none of that is of any help when we can’t teach her to control it.