The Emily Eyefinger Collection

by Duncan Ball

  ‘Well, bless my bandicoot,’ the man said. ‘Hey, Vicky! Get a look at this! This little girl has an eye on the end of her finger!’

  ‘A what? I don’t believe it!’

  ‘It’s an eye! A real live eye on her finger! It just blinked at me!’

  ‘You don’t say.’

  ‘I do say. Come down here.’

  The woman brought the cherry-picker down. She looked closely at Emily’s eyefinger while the children giggled.

  ‘Goodness me,’ she said.

  In a minute Emily had talked the woman into taking her up the tree. When Emily got to the hole, she took her little torch out of her pocket. Then she held it and put her hand right inside the tree trunk. There she saw six little furry balls all bunched up together.

  ‘Kittens!’ said Emily. ‘Little kittens. They’ve just been born. They’re so little that their eyes are still closed.’

  ‘Can you get them out?’ the man asked.

  ‘No, they’re much too far down. I can’t reach them.’

  ‘Well, we can’t cut a tree down with kittens in it. But what are we going to do?’

  Emily thought for a moment. ‘Do you know anyone who has a cat that was about to have kittens?’ she asked Damien and Beth.

  The children shook their heads. Emily looked around and saw a cat hiding under a bush nearby.

  ‘Whose cat is that?’ she asked.

  ‘Tiddumtat,’ Beth said.

  ‘That’s our cat,’ Damian explained. ‘Beth named her “Tiddumtat” because she couldn’t say “kitty cat”.’

  ‘Maybe these are her kittens,’ Emily said.

  ‘She was getting a little chubby,’ Damian said. ‘I thought she just needed to go on a diet.’

  ‘Let’s get out of the way and see what she does,’ Emily said.

  Sure enough, when everyone got away Tiddumtat crept up the tree and into the hole. Then, one by one, she brought out the kittens in her mouth and carried them under the house. When she was finished Emily looked down the hole again to make sure they were all gone.

  ‘It’s a good thing you have that eye thing,’ Vicky said. ‘We could have hurt the little darlings. By the way, my name is Vicky Treetrimmer. My partner and I would like to thank you for your help.’

  ‘Did you say your name is Treetrimmer?’

  ‘Yes, it’s odd isn’t it. My name’s Treetrimmer and my job is trimming trees.’

  ‘My name’s Eyefinger,’ Emily said, ‘and I have an eye on my finger. It’s strange how these things happen, isn’t it?’

  ‘Names are weird,’ said the woman. ‘I once heard about a guy named Drinkwater who used to drink lots and lots of water. Life certainly is funny sometimes.’

  Emily turned to Beth. ‘It’s a good thing you heard those squeaks,’ she said. ‘Are you happy now?’

  Beth took her thumb out of her mouth and wiggled her finger at Emily.

  ‘I think she wants to tell you something,’ Damian said.

  When Emily bent down to listen, Beth gave her a big wet kiss on the cheek.

  ‘Well, I guess that answers that,’ Emily said with a smile. Then she went back home to finish reading Sarah Spy, Secret Agent.

  3.

  Emily Acts

  Emily’s friend Janey Star wanted to be famous. She wanted to be a movie star. She acted in plays at school. Even when she wasn’t acting she loved dressing up as different people. She loved to pretend to be a rich actress. Janey would put on one of her mother’s long dresses and lots of make-up and then lie back on the lounge blinking her long false eyelashes.

  ‘Emily daaaarling,’ she’d say. ‘Plee-uz tell my driver to bring my car. They’re expecting me at the theatuh at seven.’

  She also liked being a pirate. She’d put black wax on her teeth to make it look like some of them were missing. With a scarf around her head, a patch over one eye, a bushy black beard, and a stuffed parrot on her shoulder she looked kind of scary to Emily.

  ‘Har har har,’ she’d say in her deepest voice. ‘Give me your jewels or die like a dog!’

  ‘Janey, don’t do that!’ Emily would say. ‘I don’t like it.’

  Janey would put her face close to Emily’s and open her eyes wide.

  ‘How dare you speak to me, you little worm! Give me your jewels or I’ll cut off your head!’

  ‘Janey, don’t do that! I hate it when you do that. It’s too real.’

  Janey grinned.

  ‘It is? Then I must be a pretty good actor.’

  ‘You certainly are. A bit too good, if you ask me.’

  ‘You could be an actor too,’ Janey said. ‘We could be in a play together. It would be lots of fun.’

  Emily didn’t want to act. She never would have acted in anything if it hadn’t been for the chicken pox. It wasn’t Emily who caught the chicken pox. It was Simon Sickly. And he caught it just before he was about to act in a school play.

  The name of the play was The Clever Little Princess and the Really Dumb Robber. Janey Star had made up the play. Of course she was going to be the clever little princess. Simon was supposed to be the really dumb robber. The play was part of Parents’ Night and everyone was dying to seeing it.

  ‘Simon is sick,’ Janey told Emily. ‘He can’t be in the play. Why don’t you be the robber instead? You could do it, I know you could.’

  ‘No, I couldn’t,’ Emily said.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because I don’t know anything about acting.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. Everyone can act. Even I can act.’

  ‘That’s because you practise all the time. You’re really really good at it.’

  (This was just what Janey wanted to hear.)

  ‘Yes, I suppose you’re right,’ she said.

  ‘Besides,’ Emily said, ‘everyone will stare at my eyefinger, the way people sometimes do. They won’t listen to a word I say.’

  ‘That’s just an excuse. You could put your hand in your pocket. Any more excuses?’

  ‘Janey, Parents’ Night is tonight! I can’t learn all those lines by tonight. No one could do that.’

  ‘I’m the one who does most of the talking,’ Janey said. ‘But you’re right, it would be difficult for you. Oh, well. I guess we’ll just have to cancel the play.’

  Janey sounded brave but Emily knew that her friend was sad. She was so sad that she was about to cry. Emily could hear it in Janey’s voice. Suddenly Emily remembered something.

  ‘This play is very important to you, isn’t it?’ she said.

  ‘Yes, it is,’ Janey answered.

  ‘Then I’ll do it. I’ll be in the play if you want me to be.’

  ‘But Emily, how can you possibly learn all the lines by tonight?’

  ‘I’ve got an idea. I won’t have to learn anything.’

  ‘Oh, Emily, you’re a lifesaver. I hope you know what you’re doing. How will you do it?’

  ‘You’ll see.’

  ‘Oh, one thing. Promise me you won’t be late. You’re always late for everything, Emily.’

  ‘I promise.’

  That night, all the parents came to Parents’ Night. Mr and Mrs Eyefinger sat in the front row next to Janey’s parents. The school principal made a speech and then there were a lot of songs. Finally, it was time for The Clever Little Princess and the Really Dumb Robber.

  Janey and Emily were behind the curtain. Janey looked beautiful in her silver gown and long blonde wig. On top of her head was a crown made of cardboard wrapped in foil.

  Janey had dressed Emily up to look like a robber. She gave her a black mask that went around her eyes and a striped sweater. Then Emily put on a long coat.

  ‘What’s that for?’ Janey whispered. ‘You don’t need a coat.’

  ‘Watch,’ Emily said.

  Emily quickly studied the pieces of paper that had her lines written on them. Then she put them in the pocket of her coat along with her tiny torch.

  ‘I get it!’ Janey said. ‘You can read your lines right in your
pocket using your eyefinger! You don’t have to remember them. What a great idea! Okay, I’ll go out first and you come out when the lights dim. Got it?’

  ‘I guess so,’ said Emily, ‘but I have butterflies in my stomach — and they’re as big as birds.’

  ‘So do I,’ Janey admitted. ‘That’s normal. Even really super famous actors get scared when they act. Take some slow deep breaths. That helps.’

  Everything went perfectly. Janey sat on her throne and gave a wonderful speech. She said that someone kept breaking into the palace and stealing things. No one could catch the robber, not even the palace guards. She said that she was going to catch the robber because she was a clever little princess.

  Janey pretended to fall asleep on her throne. Then the lights went dim and Emily came tumbling in the window. She crept around stealing things and putting them in a big bag. She took all the cutlery and she even found some money under the princess’s bed and stole that too. Then she tiptoed up to Janey and reached out very slowly and took her crown.

  ‘Not so fast!’ Janey yelled, opening her eyes and grabbing the crown back.

  Emily jumped back. She put her hand in her pocket and turned on the torch. She started reading her lines.

  ‘Give me that crown, princess!’ Emily yelled. ‘I’m a robber and I’ll beat you up if you don’t.’

  ‘Oh, you are really dumb!’ Janey said. ‘Can’t you see that I’m not a princess?’

  ‘You’re not?’

  ‘No, I’m your fairy godmother.’

  ‘My what?’ Emily asked. ‘I didn’t know I had one of those.’

  ‘Well, that just shows how dumb you are,’ Janey said and everyone in the audience laughed. ‘I can grant you any wish you want.’

  ‘You can? Any wish?’

  ‘Of course. That’s what fairy godmothers do. That’s pretty much all they can do.’

  Janey smiled at the audience and they all laughed again.

  ‘Hang on a minute,’ Emily said. ‘If you’re my fairy godmother, where’s your wand? You’re supposed to tap me on the head with your wand. Then I turn around three times and make a wish.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. We don’t use wands anymore,’ Janey said. ‘They’re out of fashion. We use magic ropes now.’

  ‘Magic ropes?’

  Janey took out a long piece of rope. ‘Hold one end in your hand and make a wish. But don’t tell me what it is. Then turn around ten times.’

  Emily pretended that she was thinking for a minute and then she took the rope and started turning around.

  ‘Ten times?’ she asked.

  ‘Ten times,’ Janey said.

  The rope went around and around Emily’s middle and her arms were stuck under it. Finally she stopped and Janey tied a big knot so that Emily couldn’t move.

  Some people in the audience giggled.

  ‘Now do I get my wish?’ Emily asked.

  ‘No, but I get mine,’ Janey said. ‘You’re going straight to prison! You are the dumbest robber I have ever met!’

  ‘Hey, you tricked me!’ Emily yelled and everyone roared with laughter.

  Janey turned to the audience and said, ‘And so ends the story of The Clever Little Princess and the Really Dumb Robber.’

  Everyone laughed again and then started clapping. Emily and Janey bowed as deeply as they could bow without falling over.

  ‘Now wasn’t that fun?’ Janey squealed as the curtain came down. ‘And you got all your lines right. You saved the show. You were really great!’

  ‘Don’t thank me, thank my little friend,’ Emily said, pointing her eyefinger at Janey. ‘But please don’t ask me to do it again. Acting is soooo scary!’

  4.

  Emily’s Expedition

  One day Emily got a postcard with a picture of a mouse on it. On the back was a message that said:

  Dear Emily,

  How are you? I’m fine, thanks. Would you and your mother and father like to come on an egs an exx an eshped an expidish a trip with me and my dad? We’re going to look for a very rare kind of mouse. (So what’s new?) We will be going to Rodent River. Ever heard of it? Me neither. Anyway, we’ll have lots and lots of fun if we don’t get lost. (Hope we don’t get lost!) How about it?

  Your friend,

  Malcolm Mousefinder

  Emily ran to her parents. She had got a few letters from Malcolm since she helped to rescue him when he was stuck down a hole. He usually sent them from far-away places. He went on lots of mousehunting expeditions with his father, Professor Mousefinder. They seemed to have plenty of fun, when they weren’t getting lost. But they almost always got lost.

  ‘Oh please,’ Emily begged her parents, ‘can we go?’

  ‘I don’t know, dear,’ Mr Eyefinger said. ‘I have a letter from the professor and he says that we’ll have to ride horses to get to where we’re going. Are you sure you can do it?’

  ‘I love riding horses,’ Emily said. ‘I’m sure I can do it for as long as Malcolm can.’

  ‘The professor is a very intelligent man,’ Emily’s mother said. ‘but he does manage to get lost quite often. He and Malcolm spend more time trying to get unlost than they do hunting mice. Sometimes I think he likes getting lost.’

  ‘Maybe he has trouble reading maps,’ Emily said. ‘Some people just aren’t good at it. We can help him.’

  ‘You’ve got a point,’ Mrs Eyefinger said. ‘Okay, we’ll go with them. It will be a fun holiday.’

  Rodent River was a long way away. On the first day the Eyefingers and the Mousefinders rode on a train and then hired a car and drove over bumpy roads. The next day they rode horses into rocky hills. Everyone’s bottom got very sore from riding, but everyone was having a good time. Suddenly Emily noticed they were going in circles.

  ‘Excuse me,’ she said, ‘but I recognise that rock.’

  ‘You mean you’ve seen it before?’ Professor Mousefinder asked.

  ‘Three times,’ said Emily. ‘Is it possible that we’re lost?’

  ‘Possible?’ sighed Malcolm. ‘Are you kidding? We always get lost.’

  ‘Let’s look at a map,’ Mrs Eyefinger suggested.

  ‘Do you have a compass?’ Mr Eyefinger asked.

  ‘Map? Compass?’ Professor Mousefinder said. ‘I never use them. Getting lost is half the fun of mousehunting.’

  ‘Hmm,’ Mrs Eyefinger said. ‘I wonder what the other half is.’

  ‘Finding mice, of course,’ the professor said. He had a big smile on his face.

  Fortunately, Mrs Eyefinger had thought of everything. She’d brought not only a map but a compass as well. All three Eyefingers and two Mousefinders looked at the map.

  ‘Rodent River is that way,’ Mrs Eyefinger said, pointing.

  Off they went and, sure enough, just at sunset they came to a river.

  ‘Rodent River at last!’ said Professor Mousefinder.

  ‘Goodness! It’s very wide,’ said Emily. ‘How will we ever get across?’

  ‘We won’t,’ said the professor. ‘We’re going to paddle down it in a rubber raft. But tonight we’ll camp here.’

  That night they put up the tents and sat by their campfire eating. Then Professor Mousefinder told everyone about the mice that he and Malcolm were looking for.

  ‘I’m not sure there are any of them left,’ said the professor. ‘They may have all died. No mouseologist — that’s a mouse expert like me — has ever seen one.’

  ‘Then how do you know about them?’ Emily asked.

  ‘A long time ago people lived along this river. They had many stories about the animals who lived here. Some of these stories were written in pictures on pieces of bark and are in museums. There’s one about a mouse with white stripes. The people called them “the Mice of the Up and Down Water”.’

  ‘The Mice of the Up and Down Water,’ said Emily. ‘What a strange name. It’s so mysterious.’

  ‘Yes, it is,’ Mrs Eyefinger said. ‘Water is never up and down — except when it rains. Mostly it’s sid
e to side as in rivers and lakes and oceans.’

  ‘We don’t really understand the name,’ said Professor Mousefinder. ‘Maybe this kind of mouse had stripes on its sides that look like water going up and down. I just hope we can find one. Let’s get some sleep and we’ll paddle down to Rodent Gorge in the morning.’

  Malcolm had been quiet all day. Even when they were all sitting on a log eating dinner, he didn’t say a word. He just peered around in the dark. When he and Emily were in their tent he finally said, ‘Can I tell you a secret?’

  ‘Sure,’ Emily said. ‘What is it?’

  ‘I’m scared.’

  ‘Scared of what?’ Emily asked.

  ‘Bears, mainly.’

  ‘There aren’t any bears out here,’ Emily said, snuggling down into her sleeping bag. ‘Go to sleep. Your dad said that you fall asleep in a second.’

  ‘Not when I start thinking about bears — and I’m thinking about bears right now. I’m going to be awake all night.’

  ‘Don’t be silly.’

  ‘Uh oh,’ Malcolm whispered. ‘Listen to that.’

  Emily listened. The water rushing down the river was loud but she heard another noise.

  ‘It’s a bear! I just know it is!’ Malcolm said.

  ‘I’ll peek out and see,’ Emily said.

  ‘Don’t do that! It’ll attack you if you put your head out.’

  ‘Who said anything about putting my head out?’

  Emily poked her eyefinger through the tent flap and looked around in the darkness. When her eye got used to the dark, she saw two big yellow eyes staring right back at her. Hoo hoo hoo, came the noise again. Emily pulled her finger back inside the tent.

  ‘What is it?’ Malcolm squealed.

  ‘I’ll give you one guess,’ Emily said.

  ‘It’s a bear!’ said Malcolm. ‘I know it is!’

  ‘Is that your guess?’

  ‘Stop it, Emily! Just tell me!’

  ‘It’s an owl, silly. What else goes hoo hoo hoo?’

  ‘Thank goodness for that,’ said Malcolm. ‘And thank goodness for your eyefinger. I wish I had one.’