The Emily Eyefinger Collection

by Duncan Ball

  ‘’Fraid so.’

  ‘How many then? Five, six —’

  ‘Lots more,’ said Malcolm.

  ‘And here they are!’ Emily cried.

  With this she lifted up the cloth and a mouse fell plop into the hole. But before Malcolm or his father could catch it, in came another one and then another one. Then ten more. Then a hundred. The hole was filling up with Little Desert Running Mice.

  Malcolm turned on his torch. In a minute Emily and the Mousefinders were up to their knees in squirming, struggling little running mice.

  ‘This is wonderful!’ Professor Mousefinder screamed. ‘Look how many of them there are! Help! Somebody grab one!’

  Now grabbing a mouse is tricky but grabbing a mouse when it’s moving and there are thousands of them and they’re all running at the same time and they’re getting deeper and deeper and then they’re up to your chest and then up to your neck and then over your head — well that’s even trickier.

  Suddenly the mice started jumping back out of the hole. The mouse-level went from over Emily’s head to her neck, to her chest to her knees. Finally they were all gone, and Emily and Malcolm and the professor lay on their backs on the ground, gasping for breath.

  ‘Did anyone get one?’ Professor Mousefinder asked.

  ‘I didn’t,’ said Emily.

  ‘Neither did I,’ said Malcolm.

  ‘Then I’m afraid we’ve failed,’ said the professor. ‘How could we have let them slip through our fingers? I really wanted to get a picture of one. Oh, well, at least we know they’re not all dead.’

  Malcolm lifted the canvas and looked out.

  ‘You can say that again,’ Malcolm started to say.

  But the moment he opened his mouth, one last mouse, running way behind the others, jumped into it.

  ‘Aaaaaaaaaaah!’ Malcolm screamed with a mouthful of mouse.

  ‘You caught one!’ his father yelled. ‘Hold still, I’ll grab it!’

  He pulled the mouse out of Malcolm’s mouth, holding it up by its tail.

  ‘Oh,’ Emily said, ‘another little cutie pooty. Isn’t he sweet?’

  ‘Sweet? Are you kidding?’ cried Malcolm, spitting on the ground. ‘Oh, yuck! I had a mouse in my mouth! Do you know what it’s like to have a mouse in your mouth? It’s disgusting, that’s what!’

  In a minute, the professor had weighed and measured the mouse, taken its picture and then let it go.

  ‘Mission accomplished,’ he cried. ‘We can go home now.’

  Emily and Malcolm just looked at each other.

  ‘How are we going to get home again?’ they asked.

  ‘I thought you’d never ask. All we have to do is send up a flare and then sit back in the Mouse-machute, and the plane will come and get us.’

  The professor got out a flare-gun and shot a big red flare into the air.

  As soon as they heard the sound of the circling plane they all jumped back in the Mouse-machute chairs and sent up another flare.

  The plane came swooping down, dragging a long rope and a hook behind it. The hook caught the chairs and in a second Emily and the Mousefinders were being pulled up high into the sky and then into the plane.

  When they were safely inside, Emily said to Malcolm, ‘Now aren’t you glad you came along? Wasn’t that the most exciting thing that ever happened to you?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Malcolm, ‘and I hope it never happens again.’

  5.

  Emily and the Power of the Freckle

  Emily’s class was in trouble with their teacher, Ms Plump. This wasn’t unusual. Emily’s class always got into trouble when Ms Plump left the room for a few minutes. They just couldn’t help it. But today they were in Big Trouble.

  Whenever Ms Plump had to go to the office, she would say ‘Will you promise me that you will all be perfect pupils for a few minutes?’

  ‘Yes, Ms Plump,’ they would all say.

  When they were well behaved Ms Plump called them her ‘perfect pupils’. When they were noisy and didn’t behave, they were her ‘rowdy rascals’.

  ‘When I come back, I want you all to be sitting up straight at your desks working quietly. Is that clear?’

  ‘Yes, Ms Plump.’

  ‘You won’t turn into rowdy rascals, will you?’

  ‘No, Ms Plump.’

  All the children felt kind of guilty. They weren’t lying. They would try to be quiet. But they all knew they couldn’t be quiet for more than a minute. It just wasn’t possible.

  ‘When I come back, I want to be able to hear a pin drop,’ Ms Plump would say.

  The first time her teacher said this, Emily wondered why she would want to hear a pin drop. And where would this pin come from?

  Now Emily knew this was just an expression. Ms Plump only wanted everyone to be very very quiet.

  Sometimes Ms Plump would promise to sing her elephant song if the children were especially good.

  ‘Would you like to hear my elephant song?’ she would ask.

  ‘Yes, yes!’ they would all scream. ‘Sing the elephant song!’

  It was a funny song. Ms Plump always put two pieces of chalk up her nose when she sang it. She pretended they were elephant tusks.

  On the day of the Big Trouble, Ms Plump had to go to the office. Once again she asked the class to promise that they’d be perfect pupils.

  ‘Yes, Ms Plump,’ they all said.

  ‘Now, remember, when I come back I want to be able to hear a pin drop.’

  ‘Yes, Ms Plump,’ they said again.

  ‘Good, I’ll sing the elephant song if you’re quiet!’

  Then off she went, leaving the door wide open. Her clumpy shoes clip-clopped down the corridor.

  At first everyone was quiet. They looked around at each other. No one spoke. Then Terry Meany started whispering. In a minute everyone was whispering and the whispers got louder and louder.

  Soon there was so much noise that everyone had to talk louder … and then louder … and then even louder until everyone was screaming.

  Simon Sickly made a paper plane and threw it. It hit Annabelle Laws on the back of the head.

  ‘Who threw that?’ Annabelle yelled.

  ‘Don’t ask me,’ said Simon.

  The class had turned into the rowdiest of rowdy rascals. Janey Star was standing on Ms Plump’s desk with one eye closed, acting like a pirate. ‘Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!’ she yelled. And ‘Heave ho, me hardies!’ and ‘Shiver me timbers’ but no one could hear because of the noise.

  Emma Wright stood on a chair and said she was going to fly across the room. She began flapping her arms up and down very fast. But she wasn’t getting anywhere.

  Terry drew a cartoon of Ms Plump on the blackboard. It made her look much plumper than she really was.

  Jonathan Pressman turned into a snake. He slithered along the floor, flicking his tongue in and out and grabbing people’s ankles. Everyone knew he wasn’t a real snake but when he grabbed them they screamed anyway.

  The air was filled with paper planes. One landed on Emily’s desk, and she picked it up and threw it across the room. (Even Emily liked to throw paper planes sometimes.)

  Then Emily thought she heard her teacher’s shoes clip-clopping down the corridor, but she wasn’t sure because of all the noise. The next thing she knew, Ms Plump was standing behind her with her arms folded. She had a very angry look on her face.

  One by one, the children saw her and the classroom went quiet. Jonathan slithered back to his seat. Janey got down from Ms Plump’s desk. Emma climbed off her chair. Annabelle threw one last paper plane. Terry’s back was turned. He was just finishing his drawing. He drew a big tongue on his cartoon of Ms Plump. Then he turned around.

  ‘Very funny, Terry,’ Ms Plump said. ‘Now erase it and go back to your seat.’

  Which he did very quickly.

  Ms Plump was not alone. Standing beside her was a new girl. She had red hair and more freckles than anyone had ever seen before. The girl had freckles
on her cheeks and on her nose and on her forehead. Even her eyelids were covered with freckles.

  ‘We have a new student, children,’ Ms Plump said. ‘Her name is Sylvia Spotty. I hope you will make her feel welcome. Of course I don’t know what to expect from such a bunch of rowdy rascals. Get out your spelling books. There will be no elephant song today.’

  Everyone groaned. They were all in Big Trouble with Ms Plump.

  At recess, Emily, Annabelle and Emma were talking to the new girl. Terry came over to them.

  ‘Hey,’ he said, ‘your name’s Spotty and you’ve got spots all over you.’

  ‘Don’t listen to him,’ Annabelle said, ‘he’s dumb.’

  ‘It’s true,’ said Terry. ‘She’s got spots all over her face. Look!’

  ‘Yeah, well your name’s Meaney and that’s a mean thing to say,’ said Emily.

  ‘Spotty Spotty Spotty,’ Terry sang.

  Sylvia didn’t say anything. Then Emily noticed tears in her new friend’s eyes. Sylvia wiped them away with a hanky.

  Terry wasn’t always this mean. Mostly he just didn’t think before he opened his mouth. He often hurt people’s feelings by accident. But this time he was being just plain mean.

  ‘Tell him that you have the power of the freckle,’ Emily whispered to Sylvia.

  ‘What does that mean?’ Sylvia sniffed.

  ‘I don’t know. Just say it. Maybe it will make him be quiet.’

  Sylvia said, ‘I have the power of the freckle.’

  ‘That’s silly,’ Terry said, and he went away.

  ‘I wish freckles did have power,’ Sylvia said. ‘I’d be Supergirl. What do I tell him next?’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ said Emily. ‘I’ll think of something. He used to pick on me, too.’

  ‘Why? You don’t have freckles.’

  ‘No, but I have this,’ Emily said, pulling her hand out of her pocket.

  ‘Oh, wow!’ Sylvia said. ‘An eye on your finger! Does it work?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Emily. ‘Sometimes I wish I didn’t have it, but mostly it’s great.’

  ‘You lucky duck,’ said Sylvia. ‘At least it’s good for something. Freckles aren’t good for anything. They just sit there on your skin and look awful.’

  ‘No, they don’t,’ said Emily. ‘They look fine. Lots of people have them.’

  ‘But not as many as I have,’ Sylvia said sadly.

  For the next two days, Terry picked on Sylvia at every recess and lunch. Sylvia kept saying, ‘Watch out for the power of the freckle!’ But Terry just laughed.

  Emily thought and thought about how to get Terry back for being mean to Sylvia. But she couldn’t think of anything. She started feeling bad about getting Sylvia to say she had the power of the freckle. Terry was right. It was a silly thing to say.

  Finally her chance came. That afternoon Ms Plump had to leave the room again.

  ‘Can I trust you to be perfect pupils for a few minutes?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes, Ms Plump,’ they all said.

  ‘Not like the last time?’

  ‘No, Ms Plump.’

  ‘No rowdy rascals.’

  ‘No, Ms Plump.’

  ‘I want to be able to hear a pin drop.’

  ‘Yes, Ms Plump.’

  ‘And if you’re good,’ Ms Plump said. ‘I’ll sing my elephant song.’

  ‘Yes, yes!’ everyone cried.

  But no sooner was Ms Plump out the door than the whispering started. And then the talking. And then the shouting.

  Annabelle hit Simon on the head with an eraser.

  Jonathan slithered around the floor.

  Janey turned into a pirate.

  Emma tried to fly.

  And Terry was drawing the plumpest cartoon of Ms Plump that he’d ever drawn. Everyone just knew there was going to be Big Trouble but nobody could stop what they were doing. They were all having so much fun.

  Emily listened very hard for Ms Plump’s clip-cloppy shoes, but it was too noisy. Then she had her idea. She poked her eyefinger around the door and into the corridor. Ms Plump was down near the office. But she was sneaking along on her tiptoes towards the classroom. No wonder Emily couldn’t hear her.

  ‘Quick!’ Emily said to Sylvia. ‘Tell everyone to listen to you. Say that you have the power of the freckle.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Just say it,’ Emily said.

  Sylvia stood up and said, ‘Listen! Listen to me! I have the power! The power of the freckle!’

  Some of the children turned and looked at Sylvia.

  ‘Tell them that you can see into the future,’ Emily whispered.

  ‘I can see into the future!’

  ‘Now tell them that Ms Plump is about to come in the door.’

  ‘Ms Plump is about to come in the door!’ Sylvia said. ‘The power of the freckle has spoken.’

  Janey got down from the desk. Emma stopped flying. Jonathan slithered back into his chair.

  Everyone was completely quiet for a moment. They were all sitting quietly, like perfect pupils.

  Then Terry said, ‘That’s silly,’ and started to draw a big beard on his very very plump cartoon of Ms Plump. ‘You can’t tell the future.’ He didn’t turn around. ‘Besides I can hear her shoes when she’s coming.’

  Just then Ms Plump came quietly in the door.

  ‘That’s what you think, Terry Meaney!’ she boomed.

  ‘Ms Plump!’ Terry cried.

  ‘Now clean that blackboard! Then go out in the corridor, and close the door behind you. I will sing the elephant song for all my perfect pupils.’

  ‘That’s not fair,’ Terry protested. ‘They were all fooling around, too! But Sylvia has freckles so she can tell the future. So she knew when you were coming and —’

  ‘Yes, yes, Terry, I can tell the future too,’ Ms Plump said, getting two pieces of chalk to put in her nose. ‘In about one minute, you’re going to be out in the corridor with the door closed and I’m going to be singing my elephant song. Out you go now.’

  Emily and Sylvia just smiled at each other.

  And that was the last time Terry said anything about Sylvia’s freckles.

  6.

  Emily Eyefinger and the Lost Treasure

  ‘I’ve won! I’ve won!’ cried Emily, holding the letter she’d just got in the mail. ‘I’ve won a trip to that new pyramid!’

  ‘Emily,’ Mr Eyefinger said, ‘what are you talking about?’

  ‘Do you remember the pyramid that was just discovered, the one that was built upside down?’

  ‘Yes, of course. You saw a TV show about it. The Pyramid of King Inverticheops. It’s in Egypt.’

  ‘Well they’re going to start letting tourists go to see it.’

  ‘But there’s nothing to see,’ her mother said. ‘It’s upside down in the ground instead of sticking up into the air.’

  ‘But, Mum, you get to go into a tunnel that goes way down inside. You can see all the pictures and the writing on the walls.’

  ‘That sounds like fun. A little scary, but fun too.’

  ‘All I had to do was write a letter and tell why I wanted to see the pyramid. Lots of people did it. But they liked my reason best so I won. Isn’t that exciting?’

  ‘What exactly did you tell them?’ her father asked.

  ‘I said that I should get to go because I love ancient pyramids.’

  ‘But, Emily, you’ve never seen one before.’

  ‘I’ve seen pictures of them,’ Emily said. ‘And I said that I could see it better then anyone else because I have three eyes.’

  ‘Oh, Emily!’ Mrs Eyefinger laughed, ‘did you really say that?’

  ‘Sure, and they thought it was a good reason too.’

  ‘I suppose you’re right,’ her mother said. ‘But it does seem a little unfair to people like us who only have two eyes.’

  ‘Well you get to come, too. They send three airline tickets: one for me and one for each of you.’

  ‘This does sound like fun!’ her
father said.

  Two weeks later the Eyefingers flew to Cairo. At the airport they met the world famous archaeologist, Dr Samantha Deddybones.

  ‘My goodness!’ she said when she met Emily, ‘It’s true! You do have three eyes. Merciful mummies! What will they think of next?’

  ‘Did you think I was kidding?’ Emily asked.

  ‘I wasn’t sure,’ the doctor admitted. ‘And to think that your name is Eyefinger, too. But then my name is Deddybones and I do a lot of digging around in tombs where there are plenty of bones. So you never know. Okay, we have a long trip ahead of us. We’d better be going.’

  Emily took pictures out the window of the bus as they passed the famous pyramids. Finally they arrived in a small valley where the diggers had uncovered a huge square in the ground made out of stones.

  ‘When King Inverticheops died,’ Dr Deddybones explained, ‘they built his pyramid upside down. This is the bottom of the pyramid. The top is way way down in the ground. They put his mummy down in the middle of it. Then they covered it all with sand.’

  ‘Why did they want to hide it?’ Emily asked.

  ‘When a king was buried, they put gold statues and all kinds of treasures in a special room called the burial chamber. They knew that robbers would try to get inside and steal everything. In the famous pyramids they hid the burial chambers so that robbers couldn’t find them. But the builders of this pyramid were very clever. They hid the whole pyramid so the robbers wouldn’t even know where to start looking.’

  ‘That was clever,’ said Emily.

  ‘Well not clever enough,’ the archaeologist said. ‘I’m afraid the robbers must have found it. Then they got in and robbed it. When we got to the burial chamber, it was completely empty. No more gold and jewels. No mummy of King Inverticheops.’

  ‘But there’s so much writing,’ Emily said. ‘You must have learned a lot about the king.’

  ‘Yes, you’re quite right. And learning is the important thing. But it’s too bad we didn’t find all the treasure that was buried with him. We could have sold it to museums and then we would have had lots more money to spend on looking for new old pyramids.’

  Dr Deddybones gave the Eyefingers torches and led them down the stairs. They went deep into the pyramid. The tunnel was so small that everyone except Emily had to bend down.