by Pam Howes
She got to her feet and took his outstretched hand. He pulled her closer but not so close that she felt uncomfortable. He sang along to the chorus of ‘You Belong to Me’. Dora loved the song. It was being played time and again on the wireless at the moment. A number one hit record, as the announcer had said the other day. She loved the words and lost herself in them as Joe sang softly and they swayed in time to the music. Being in Joe’s arms felt good. But as soon as the song ended she sat down again, feeling self-conscious. They shouldn’t be doing this. They were almost divorced. It was one thing being friendly for the sake of their girls, but dancing in close proximity to his body had aroused desires she’d long buried. Desires that were dangerous, and she couldn’t allow them to take over common sense. She moved as far away from him as she could when he sat down again.
He smiled and patted her hand. ‘I’m sorry. It felt so good to hold you again though. I’m not going to deny that. But I’m not about to spoil the nice day we’ve had by making you feel uncomfortable.’
‘Thank you.’ She drew a deep breath, glad of his understanding. ‘I’ll go to bed in a minute. I’m sure the girls will be up at the crack of dawn, so we both need an early night.’
‘Daddy’s not here but Mammy is,’ Dora heard Carol say as she emerged from the bathroom. Carol thrust the phone at her and ran back into the sitting room to Jackie. Dora hadn’t even heard the phone ringing as she’d been running water and cleaning her teeth. Joe had popped out to get a newspaper and cigarettes. She frowned and put the receiver to her ear. ‘Hello.’ She heard a sharp intake of breath and then a woman spoke. ‘Is Joe there please?’ Dora recognised Ivy’s voice and her stomach turned over. ‘Sorry, no. He’s popped out. Can I take a message?’
‘Tell him I’ll be near the boating lake in Sefton Park at two thirty.’
Dora raised an eyebrow. That sounded more like a summons than an invite. ‘Actually, Joe and I are taking the girls to New Brighton today.’ She couldn’t resist adding, ‘We’re finishing Jackie’s birthday weekend in style. I suggest you call him later, or wait until tomorrow and speak to him in work.’ She hung up before Ivy had the chance to say anything else. It was still fairly early in the morning and the woman wasn’t daft. She’d know there were no trams and buses running at this time of day, so would no doubt guess that Dora had stayed over last night. Let her stew on it, Dora thought, and went to see to her daughters, who were waiting to have their hair brushed and plaited. She wasn’t passing any messages on; she was just wanting to sound polite. Ivy didn’t pass on her message to Joe the day Carol was born.
Ivy stared at the receiver in her hands. She dropped it back into the cradle and made her way upstairs to her flat. What the hell was Dora doing at Joe’s so early in the morning? She’d sounded all bright and breezy too. And they were going for a family day out. That hadn’t been on the cards when she’d spoken to Joe on leaving work last Friday. He’d told her he was doing a birthday party for Jackie with the family on Saturday and then taking Carol to Dora’s on Sunday, so he would have a couple of free hours to meet her and Roly at Sefton Park in the afternoon. He’d been blowing hot and cold again since the ROF Christmas dance mid-December when he’d done the same as the first time he’d invited her and spent the night with her. It was hardly a relationship – or even an affair for that matter, as the last time they’d slept together before then was in the caravan in August.
She couldn’t fathom Joe at all. When he was with her he seemed keen enough, but it was fleeting and she was getting fed up of playing second fiddle to a marriage that was over. Or was it? Had Dora spent the night there? It seemed that way. So what was going on between them? Ivy knew their divorce was on the horizon. Not that Joe had told her. For some reason he was keeping it to himself. But she’d seen the papers a few months ago when she’d babysat Carol and had a snoop around while he was out. It was only a matter of weeks now before he became a free man. She’d need to act fast if she was going to pin him down. She had a plan up her sleeve and wasn’t worried about putting it into action as soon as possible now. Sod what anybody thought of her, and there’d be plenty with a lot to say, she’d no doubts about that. But with her long-awaited goal almost in sight, she was not about to let it get away in a hurry.
Dora hung onto Jackie’s hand as the ferry pulled into the New Brighton landing point by the pier. Joe had hold of Carol and the shopping bag containing their picnic and a flask. The girls were excited, eager to be off to play on the sands and have a promised donkey ride. They ran on ahead down the pier, giggling, Carol pulling Jackie along. Dora smiled. They’d had no holidays together as a family. The last time she’d been away with Joe was to Blackpool when Carol was a toddler. Jackie had been conceived on that holiday, and after her birth and the long months of depression that followed, their marriage had broken down under the strain and they’d parted. She glanced sideways at Joe as he kept his eyes on their daughters. He was still a good-looking man, tall and slim but not scrawny, his light brown hair blowing in the breeze, the carefully styled quiff now dangling down. He swept it back and smiled at her, his lovely hazel eyes twinkling.
‘Girls,’ Joe called. ‘Wait by the entrance for us. Don’t run on the road.’
They caught up with the girls and stopped at a kiosk on the promenade. Joe bought buckets and spades and some small paper flags for the top of the castle that he’d promised to help them build. He handed the picnic bag to Dora and picked up two deckchairs from the seller on the promenade. ‘Right, let’s go and find ourselves a nice spot to relax and unpack the picnic,’ he said as the girls led the way.
Dora had tucked her latest copy of Woman magazine in the bag when they’d stopped off at Wright Street for the jackets. She laid out the picnic, mostly food left over from Jackie’s birthday tea, which was eaten in record time, and then settled down in her deckchair to read while Joe chased their daughters up and down the beach and built the promised sandcastle. There was a strong breeze and as the afternoon wore on it got colder. Dora shivered and pulled her jacket around her shoulders. She repacked the flask and gathered up the empty paper bags. ‘Joe, shall we take them on the fair? The sun keeps going in and I’m cold sitting here. Girls, come and put your socks and shoes back on.’
Carol pulled a face but Jackie, whose nose was streaming, came willingly to her side. Joe got the buckets and spades together and told Carol to do as she was told.
‘Can we come again?’ she said, sitting down by Jackie and pulling her socks on. ‘Ugh, my toes feel all funny.’
Dora bent to take Carol’s socks back off and gave her feet a rub with a towel she’d packed in the bag. It was too cold for a paddle to rinse off, but there was nothing worse than sand between toes when you put your socks on.
‘Can we, Mammy, can we come again next week?’
‘We’ll see. If you’re a good girl, perhaps we might do.’
‘Goody. Come on, Jackie, I’ll race you to the steps.’ Carol grabbed her sister by the hand and dragged her along.
Joe pulled Dora up and held onto her hand. ‘Can we, Mammy?’ he teased. ‘Please!’
She laughed. ‘If you’re a good boy, maybe. Now grab those deckchairs and carry them back up to the prom and I’ll bring everything else.’
After rides on the carousel, the ghost train and the bumper cars, Joe bought ice-creams and he and Dora sat on a bench seat to enjoy them while the girls played on the grass nearby. ‘It’s been a lovely weekend,’ he said. ‘It’s a long time since I enjoyed myself so much. I keep thinking about the day we came over here just before we got married.’ He sighed. ‘A lot of things have happened since then, eh, gel?’
Dora nodded. ‘I remember it well. We had everything to look forward to in those days.’
Joe leaned across and stroked the hair from her face. ‘We could still have something to look forward to, a future. The divorce can be cancelled, or if it’s too late to stop it going through now, we can always remarry. The girls are so much happier when we’re all
together. All I want is for us to be a family again and doing the best for them as well as us two.’
Dora chewed her lip. ‘Oh, Joe, I don’t know. There’s the issue of trust… and I’m terrified of getting pregnant again. And us not being together is the only way I can guarantee it won’t happen.’
He nodded and took her hand. ‘I understand that. But what if we agree to a celibate marriage, for now anyway? Nobody needs to know what we do and don’t do, it’s our business. And then maybe in time you can have the operation. Last night was lovely, wasn’t it? We can live like that for a while. It’s better than nothing, Dora. We can work something out to suit us both. I’m not pushing you; I want you to take your time. But will you have a think about it, please? I know I’ve made mistakes, and you’ve no idea how sorry I am, but you’re the only girl I’ve ever wanted and I’m sure you know that.’
19
With Jackie skipping along beside her, singing as usual, Dora set off for work on Monday morning with a spring in her step, but her mind full of what-ifs. The weekend had bucked her up no end. She’d enjoyed them all spending time as a family with no arguments between the girls, or her and Joe either. Last night, after Jackie had gone to bed, she’d thought over what Joe had said, and Dolly and Agnes too. Could she and Joe really make a go of it again? But how could a celibate marriage work? He’d said ‘for a while’, which meant that he’d only put up with it for a few months and then – what? If she still refused to have the sterilisation operation, would he go elsewhere? And if he did, then she’d be back to square one. It needed a lot of thinking about. She was halfway there. Maybe she’d call Agnes on her dinner break. See what she thought about it once she knew what Joe had in mind.
‘Good morning,’ Sammy’s voice boomed as they stepped into the shop, Jackie swinging the door once more for good measure as she loved to make the bell jangle. ‘How did the birthday party go?’
‘It was fun. We had cake and balloons.’ Jackie jiggled from foot to foot and held out her little bag complete with tea set.
‘She’s in charge of brewing up today,’ Dora said, laughing.
‘We have a young lady coming in later for a wedding dress measurement,’ Esther announced. ‘She wants one exactly like your window display and three bridesmaids’ dresses, one adult, two children. We’ve asked her to come in and discuss the matter with our consultant. How does that sound?’
Dora laughed. ‘Sounds posh. Is that me? The consultant, I mean?’
‘It is.’ Sammy nodded. ‘Now the lady can’t get here until after two, so I’ll do the theatre run this morning and take Jackie with me. Is that okay? Then at least we’ll both be here when she arrives. You can arrange some samples of fabric for her to look at.’
Dora smiled. This was the first bit of interest in the wedding outfits since she did the window display a few weeks ago, although there’d been a lot of people stopping to admire the white satin and lace dress and pale pink Bo-Peep-style bridesmaid’s dress. But spring was in the air and weddings were being planned, no doubt. ‘That’s lovely. Jackie would be disappointed if she thought she was missing out. Right, I’ll go up and finish the final repair on the theatre costumes and then they’re ready for the off. You be a good girl now for Esther,’ she said to Jackie, and to Esther: ‘She’s got crayons and a book in that bag too, so those should keep her quiet until Sammy’s ready to take her to the theatre.’
When Sammy and Jackie left for the Empire, Esther made a pot of tea for her and Dora.
‘A bit of peace and quiet,’ Dora said. ‘I bet she’s not stopped all morning.’
‘She hasn’t, but I love to hear her chattering away. I wish we had grandchildren. But Sonny shows no signs of wanting any and nor does his wife. That’s why I enjoy having Jackie here so much.’
‘Maybe he doesn’t feel ready,’ Dora said. ‘They are quite a responsibility.’
Esther snorted. ‘Huh! I don’t think he’ll ever be ready. He’s too selfish to share his life with children.’ She finished her tea and put on her jacket as Dora stared at her unfathomable expression.
‘Would you mind holding the fort while I pop out to the bank and get a few bits of shopping in?’ Esther asked, picking up her basket from the floor.
‘My pleasure,’ Dora said. ‘I’ll cut a few samples for the wedding orders, and is it okay if I just make a quick phone call?’
‘Help yourself. It’s quiet this morning. Mind you, Monday always is. Gives us time to catch up a bit.’ She left, with a little wave as she passed the window. Dora frowned and wondered why Esther seemed to have such a low opinion of her son, but she didn’t like to pry.
She put Sonny out of her mind and called Agnes, bringing her up to date with Sunday’s news. ‘So what do you think?’ Dora said.
‘You know what I think.’ Agnes’s voice held a hint of excitement. ‘You and Joe should never have been apart. Tell him yes, as soon as you can.’
Dora smiled. ‘I’m not seeing him until next Saturday when he brings Carol over. That gives me a few days to think it through. He said there was no rush.’
‘There’s nothing to think about. I know you still love him and he’s so bloody crazy about you, he can’t hide it. It’s in his eyes, on his face when he looks at you. Ring him at work and tell him yes you’ll go back.’
‘I don’t want to do that. If his mates are listening in he’ll get embarrassed. It’s too private. And I need a bit of time to think it through properly. It can wait until Saturday.’ The doorbell jangled. ‘I’ve got a customer, I’d better go. I’ll be in touch. ’Bye.’
‘You’d better be. ’Bye,’ Agnes said.
Dora looked up and smiled at the young man and his friend, who were carrying paper bags and wearing sheepish expressions. ‘Can I help you?’
‘Er, yeah,’ the taller youth replied. He wore his black hair styled into a quiff like the ones Joe and Frank wore, but more elaborate, and she could smell the Brylcreem he’d plastered on to keep it in place. His pal had a similar quiff in his blond hair, but not quite as big. It flopped into his eyes, like Joe’s did. ‘Do you take trousers in, you know like, make the legs narrower.’ He pulled a pair of plain black trousers from the bag and laid them on the counter. ‘See, they’re too wide and flappy and dead old-fashioned. I want ’em doing like the ones the Cunard Yanks wear.’
Dora frowned. ‘Cunard Yanks?’
The other youth nodded. ‘Yeah, the Yanks from the ships. They wear their trousers tighter than we do, and nobody sells ’em like that over here. We thought you might be able to help us.’
‘I don’t see why not,’ Dora said, taking a tape measure to the width. ‘So how much narrower would you like them, bearing in mind you’ve got to get them over your feet? Is this a new fashion, then?’
The taller lad shrugged. ‘It’s like what they wear in the films, you know, like Roy Rogers and the Lone Ranger. Except they wear denim jeans but we haven’t got any yet. They call ’em drainies, you know, like drainpipes.’
‘Okay. But just one thing. I’m not about to start chopping up your school trousers, am I? Don’t want your mams coming in here giving me what for.’
‘No, Missus, these are my going-out trousers. I’ve left school anyway. So has Jim. We both work at Blacklers. It’s our dinner break.’
Dora nodded. She took both young lads’ measurements, around their ankles, calves and knees. ‘Right, leave them with me. Are yours the same, Jim? Black, like your pal’s?’
Jim nodded. ‘Any chance they could be ready for picking up on Saturday? We’re meeting a couple of girls at the Grafton ballroom.’
Dora chewed her lip. ‘We’re closed on a Saturday, but I’ll have them ready for Friday if you can nip in then. We’ll be here until just gone six if you come straight from work. Now what’s your name, and I’ll give you a ticket for collection.’ She handed one to Jim and pinned a copy onto his bag with his measurements.
‘I’m Colin,’ the other lad said. ‘Do you know how much they’ll be?’
‘Not until my boss comes back, but don’t worry, it won’t break the bank. We’ll see you on Friday.’ She smiled as they said their goodbyes. Nice boys and they might as well as enjoy themselves before they were conscripted for their two-year stint in the army. National Service was still in force, but hopefully they wouldn’t be fighting any wars. Pity that flipping Lenny Smyth hadn’t been called up yet. He must be almost old enough. With a bit of luck it shouldn’t be too long now.
Esther arrived back with a bag of assorted goodies from the market. ‘They’ve got a lot of fruit down there on one of the stalls; I got a couple of bananas for Jackie. A nice treat to see them properly on sale again.’
When Sammy came back with an excited Jackie he looked at the order Dora had taken for the drainies. ‘Might catch on,’ he said, laughing. ‘What next, I wonder?’
‘That’s what I thought,’ Dora said. ‘If it’s the latest craze, they’ll tell all their mates and we should get a bit more work out of it.’
Dora’s bridal appointment arrived just after two and was taken upstairs to where Dora had laid out sketches on the long table along with samples she’d taken from the shop’s stock. The bride-to-be, who introduced herself as Sandra, looked very young, but then anybody under twenty looked young these days, Dora thought. Her sister Anne, the chief bridesmaid, had accompanied her. The wedding was booked for the last week of July, so there was plenty of time to make the dresses.
‘I’m Dora,’ she introduced herself and pulled out two chairs for them. ‘Take a seat. Would you like some tea?’ Esther had told her to offer and she’d bring it up with the best china.
‘We’re okay, thank you,’ Sandra said. ‘We’ve just had a drink in the Kardomah.’
They pored over the sketches and Sandra held up the one like the dress in the window. ‘I like this, but I also like this one.’ She pointed to the pad.
