by Pam Howes
‘Joe, what is it? Have you lost your job? We’ll manage, I’m working, and we could move so that you can get a new job in Crewe like you wanted to.’
Joe closed his eyes. When he opened them again she could see tears welling. A cold fear clutched at her heart. ‘Are you ill? Is that what you’re trying to tell me? You look so pale. Don’t worry; I’ll be there to help you through it.’
‘Oh God, Dora, if only it was something like that and we could deal with it together.’ Tears were running down his cheeks now. ‘I’m so sorry, love, but it seems Ivy’s pregnant and she says I’m the father.’
Dora sat back, shock running through her like a bolt of lightning. She stared at him as his face crumpled. Had she heard him right? ‘Ivy? Pregnant?’ she whispered. ‘No.’ She snatched her hands away from his. ‘Are you sure?’
He nodded. ‘She told me this afternoon. I can’t believe it either.’
‘But you said you were just good friends.’
He shrugged. ‘We are. It was one of those things. She means nothing to me. I don’t love her or anything. She knows that. I also told her that me and you, well, that we’re getting back together.’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t believe this. Are you sure she’s not lying because she knows about us? She phoned you on Sunday while you were at the paper shop. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to spoil our nice day out.’
Joe shrugged. ‘I know. She told me. But I don’t think she’s lying. She’s three months gone. It happened after the Christmas do. And that’s it, honestly, I haven’t been near her since and nor do I want to.’
‘And she leaves it until now to tell you? When she knows I stayed over on Saturday?’
He nodded. ‘She said she’d make sure you found out if I didn’t tell you right away.’
Dora burst into tears. She could hardly breathe, feeling nothing other than disbelief. She gagged on bile that rose in her throat and dashed into the kitchen, where she vomited into the sink. She turned the tap on full and ran water, leaning over until she was certain there was nothing more to come up. Joe had followed her and reached to touch her arm but she batted him away. ‘No, just leave me alone. Go away, Joe. Go back to Ivy. It would never have worked anyway with her always in the background. We should just be glad I hadn’t moved back in with you already. God, I would have lost my home.’
‘Dora, I can’t leave you here on your own. Please, love, come and sit down and let’s talk about how we’re going to deal with this.’
‘We? How we’re going to deal with it? It’s nothing to do with me. It’s your horrible mess, yours and that bloody Ivy’s.’
‘We could still make it work. Me, you, the girls.’
‘No, we couldn’t. How can you think that? She’d never leave you alone. She’ll always have a reason to be contacting you. She’d want money from you. We’d never be rid of her, Joe, her or her bloody kid. You’d better go. I need you out of here now before you make me sick again.’ As she spoke the front door-knocker rattled and Frank popped his head in.
‘Only me,’ he called, walking into the front room. ‘Just dropping Stan off so I thought I’d cadge a brew. I see Joe’s here—’ He stopped as the pair turned to look at him. ‘Oops, have I come at a bad moment? Sorry.’
‘No you haven’t, Frank. Joe’s just leaving,’ Dora said, pushing Joe towards the door.
‘Dora, I’m going nowhere until we sort this out.’
‘There’s nothing to sort out,’ Dora snapped. ‘Now if you don’t mind, I want to talk privately with my brother.’
Joe shook his head and looked at Frank. ‘Tell him, tell Frank what I’ve told you. See what he thinks we should do.’
Frank frowned. ‘What’s going on, Sis?’
‘He,’ she jabbed a finger in Joe’s chest, ‘he has only got bloody Ivy Bennett pregnant! Just at a time when we were planning to get back together. And he wants me to help him sort it out.’
‘Dora, no, we weren’t planning on getting back together until recently. I didn’t know she was up the spout,’ Joe said to Frank. ‘She decided to tell me today.’
‘Oh shit!’ Frank said. ‘You sure it’s yours, mate?’
‘Apparently so.’ Joe held up his hands. ‘I can’t believe it and I’m so sorry to hurt Dora. It was never meant to be like this.’
Dora took a deep breath. ‘You should have kept it zipped up then, shouldn’t you? Just get out of my house and don’t come back. Frank, you can bring our Carol to me on Saturdays please. And tomorrow I’ll be on the phone to the Children’s Welfare to get her back permanently. I don’t care what Mr-bloody-Oliver says, you’re not fit to be a father and I don’t want her anywhere near my child either. Now go. I don’t ever want to set eyes on you again.’ She pushed him down the hall, Frank following her.
‘But what about Jackie? She’s my daughter. I want to see her. You can’t stop me.’
‘Frank will bring her to you.’
Frank gave him a gentle push out onto the street. He pulled the door to behind him. ‘Just go, mate. You’ve done enough damage for one day. I’ll see to Dora. Get yourself sorted out with that bitch Ivy. God help you. But no matter what happens, don’t you ever upset my sister again, just stay away from her, or you’ll have me to answer to.’
Dora looked up as Frank brought a mug of tea through to her. She’d been sitting on the sofa, feeling like the stuffing had been knocked out of her, just staring at the photo of Joanie on the mantelpiece. Frank put the mug down on the side table.
‘I put extra sugar in. Do you want me to go and bring Jackie back from Sadie’s? I’ll get her ready for bed for you. Then I need to get off home to Mam. She’ll wonder where I am if I’m much later. I don’t want to worry her.’
Dora nodded. ‘Thanks for staying with me, Frank.’
‘Well I wasn’t leaving you on your own, Sis. You look shell-shocked.’
She raised an eyebrow. ‘I feel it. I just don’t believe this has happened. Oh God, I hate that woman with all my heart. I hope she loses that bloody baby before he gets the chance to marry her.’
‘Dora! That’s not very nice.’
‘I don’t care. Neither is Ivy.’
Frank shook his head. ‘Drink your tea. I’ll go and get our Jackie. Do you want me to tell Sadie?’
She chewed her lip. ‘No, she’ll be busy getting all the kids to bed, but if she has a spare minute later, ask her to pop down for a bit. I’ll tell her myself.’
‘Okay, see you in a few minutes then.’
Dora sat in silence after Frank had got Jackie settled and he’d gone home. She just wanted to cry until she could cry no more. But she didn’t want Jackie to see her upset. It would frighten her. She was still awake; Dora could hear her singing. She’d hold onto her tears until later. There’d be no sleep for her tonight, even though she felt drained.
She got up to answer the door. Sadie hurried in, looking worried.
‘What’s wrong? Frank told me something had happened but he said you’d tell me.’
‘Sit down,’ Dora said. ‘I’ll make us a drink.’
‘I’m okay, thanks,’ Sadie said, ‘unless you’ve got a drop of sherry. I could do with something to calm my nerves. Those kids are getting to be hard work as the days go by. I’ve got three in one bed now. Roll on moving to somewhere bigger.’
Dora nodded. ‘There’s a drop left in the kitchen cupboard. I’ll split it between us.’
Ten minutes later, her sherry glass drained, Sadie sat and stared at Dora, her mouth a silent O. She shook her head. ‘I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry, Dora.’
Dora sighed. ‘I’m so angry with him, but at the same time I can’t help feeling a little bit sorry for him. He’s stuck with Ivy now for the rest of his life.’
‘Why do you feel sorry for him? I wouldn’t. They bloody well deserve each other. She knew Joe was still a married man, even though you weren’t living together. It would serve her right if Joe dumps her and denies it’s his bab
y.’
‘It would. But Joe wouldn’t do that. People will talk, and there are those who’ve seen them at the dances and will put two and two together. I’m just glad no one knew that I’d decided to go back to him this week. There’s only Agnes and you know that I was thinking about it. God, Dolly will go mad with him when he tells her and Agnes won’t be best pleased either. I’ve only got her and Dolly’s sympathy to deal with, no one else’s. I’m determined now to get Carol back. I will not have Ivy bringing up my daughter.’
22
On Wednesday morning Joe stared in dismay at Dolly as she practically slammed the door in his face. Only by putting his foot out to stop it happening was he able to talk to her. She’d pulled Carol inside but seemed keen to send him off with a flea in his ear. ‘Dolly, look, I’m sorry if you’re upset by what’s going on, I’m trying to do the best I can for all concerned—’ he began.
‘Hmm,’ she snorted. ‘If that was the case you’d have told that Ivy one where to go ages ago. Making accusations and breaking families up. She wants bloody horse-whipping, she does.’
‘Yes, well, too late for that now,’ Joe said wishing he’d listened to Dolly’s warnings and kept Ivy away from his home and family. ‘And she didn’t actually break my family up. Me and Dora are almost divorced. Okay, things were starting to look up for us again, but Dora doesn’t want to know now.’
‘And who can blame her?’ Dolly folded her arms under her ample bosom. ‘I’ll tell you this, Joe. I’ll help you for now with Carol, but if you move that one in, I won’t be helping you no more. You’ll have to get her to pull her weight.’
Joe nodded and walked away down the path. This was not going to be easy. Yesterday had been a nightmare at work. A call from the welfare department’s Mr Oliver during the morning break, when he’d been trying to speak privately to Ivy, had alerted him to the fact that Dora had told them he was moving an irresponsible woman in who Carol didn’t really know. Joe had told the man that Carol had been looked after by Ivy many times and she knew her very well, that she was far from irresponsible and he had no immediate plans to move anyone in. Mr Oliver asked him was it true that Ivy was expecting a baby and he’d admitted that it was. He was told that Mr Oliver would now be reviewing the case with the new information he’d been given and would be in touch soon. When he’d gone back to talk to Ivy, to tell her that he’d spoken to Dora and she’d told him where to go, she’d sat there with a stony-faced expression.
‘So, what did the man from the welfare want?’ she asked.
‘Dora has applied for custody of Carol, in view of all this mess,’ he said. ‘I’ll fight it. Carol’s settled with me. I’m not having her moved from pillar to post. Nothing needs to change there.’
Ivy took a sip of her drink and stared at him over the rim of her mug. ‘She needs to be with her mother. All children do. Dora hasn’t done anything wrong. That Myrtle Carter’s case was in the papers last week. She won’t be roaming the streets again for a long time.’
‘All that was taken into consideration,’ Joe said. ‘Carol would have to change schools twice if she went to Dora’s. Mr Oliver said the other week he would review things once Dora had moved to a new place. Now it’s all been stirred up again because of this bloody mess we’re in.’
Ivy slammed her mug down on the table. ‘Will you stop calling my baby this mess?’ She got to her feet. ‘I’m not asking you for anything, Joe. I’ll manage on my own, thank you. All I want is for you to show some responsibility towards me and…’ She rubbed her hand over her stomach.
Joe looked around to make sure no one was watching. Eric knew, of course, but he and Dolly had been sworn to secrecy for now. ‘Stop drawing attention to it then,’ he hissed. ‘It’ll be bloody obvious soon enough. But the dust will have settled a bit by then. I’ve got enough to worry about at the moment without the gossips having a field day. Anyway, I’ll see you later. I need to get back upstairs. And remember; just keep your trap shut for now.’
Ivy watched Joe walk away, her heart sinking a little. It was obvious he wasn’t over the moon. She hadn’t really expected him to be, especially now his plans for a happy family future had been snatched from his grasp. But a little bit of consideration and reassurance from him wouldn’t have gone amiss. God help her if she really had been in the family way. And there was Carol to consider. That was going to be a tricky one to resolve. There was no way she wanted her living with them. She was a nice enough little girl and so was the other one, but when she finally got him to propose, she wanted him all to herself.
They would never have kids of their own as something had been damaged when she’d miscarried years ago, and her womb had been removed to stop her bleeding to death. But of course Joe didn’t know that and he never would. She’d just have to fake her monthlies if they did get married. Whatever happened in the next few weeks, she was now closer to her goal than she’d ever been and Joe was closer to being a divorced man than he’d ever been. She allowed herself a little daydream about wedding dresses and honeymoons as she cleared the tables and joined Flo in the kitchen.
That week Dora had to force herself to concentrate on her work and put the last few days behind her. She’d already cut two left sleeves for the wedding dress order in error. Luckily there was more white lace on the roll and she could use the wasted pieces for trim on another garment, but mistakes like that cost money. The trousers for the young lads were ready and waiting to be collected tomorrow. She just hoped they could get their feet through the narrow bottoms. She was pleased with them though. They looked quite nice and an improvement on their previous wide-legged style. She wondered if they could make a line of tapered trousers to sell if the style caught on. When she’d discussed it with Sammy he’d nodded.
‘Let’s wait and see what happens. Fashions are changing all the time. If we see a demand for more alterations we’ll have a word with the young lads and ask their opinion. We can only do so much between the two of us and we may well be busy with wedding dresses this year.’ He stopped and looked at her. ‘How are you feeling now, sweetheart?’
Dora blinked rapidly, his kind words making her want to cry. She’d been in such a state on Tuesday morning that they’d sat her down and closed the shop for an hour while she told them the events of the previous evening. Sammy had been lost for words but had administered comforting hugs, while Esther had made many cups of tea and forced her to eat biscuits to keep her strength up. She hadn’t spoken to Agnes yet; when she’d called yesterday, Dora had shaken her head at Esther, who’d told Agnes she’d gone out on theatre deliveries and she’d pass on a message. She would catch up with her on Saturday morning at their daughters’ dancing school.
On the way home that evening Dora popped into the market for a bit of shopping, Jackie pulling a face and dragging her feet as she’d wanted to stay with Esther for a bit longer. ‘Uncle Frank’s calling on his way home, so we need to get back,’ Dora told her. ‘I’ll get you a slab of chocolate if you’re a good girl.’ Jackie perked up and stopped moaning while Dora concentrated on her purchases. She wasn’t looking forward to going back to an empty house, even though it was no different to the empty house she’d been going back to for weeks now. It shouldn’t feel any different really, but somehow it did. She felt hollow, empty and lost and so did the house. There was nothing to look forward to any more. Weekends with Joe were over and done with for ever and that thought filled her with despair, even though at the same time she was raging with anger towards him and hatred for Ivy. She’d been robbed of the future she’d just allowed herself to admit she wanted.
Sadie waved to her from the front door and beckoned her to come inside.
‘You look worn out,’ she said, giving Dora a hug. ‘Aren’t you sleeping?’
Dora shook her head. ‘Only for about an hour each night since Monday.’
‘Oh, you poor thing. Sit down. I’ll pour you a cuppa. The kids have had an early tea. The older three are in the backyard, Jackie, if you want to go o
ut and play with them for a while. The other two are actually in bed early. Peace and quiet. Stan’s coming home with Frank when he comes to see you.’ She opened the back door to let Jackie out. ‘Look after Jackie, Heidi, and make sure she doesn’t get tar on her dress.’
Sadie came back into the room with two mugs of tea and sat down. She picked up an envelope that was lying on the table and took out a letter. ‘I hate dropping this on you now when you’re feeling so sad, but we’ve been offered the keys to a new house in Allerton. The letter came this morning. Trouble is, it’s only three bedrooms. I rang the council to tell them we’d been promised a four-bedder. The lady was very nice and told me there are none available. She said the bedrooms are quite big, so we’d have a lot more space than here. And she also said that when the kids get older we can put in for an exchange. We can get some bunk beds I suppose. I’ll see what Stan says. I need to get out of here as soon as possible though, Dora. We’re bursting at the seams. We need a bathroom and a proper garden.’
Dora forced a smile. ‘I’d go for it. You’ll be fine. I hope I get offered something soon too. I’m ready for a fresh start.’
‘It won’t be long. Gloria Smyth’s going too. I saw her out on the front earlier when I was going to the phone box. They’ve been given a two-bed flat in Childwall. So the offer letters are coming out, gradually.’
Dora chewed her lip. She’d miss Sadie and dreaded her going. But her friend had struggled for long enough. It was difficult enough with one child and no bathroom; God knew how hard it must be with five. She finished her tea and got to her feet. ‘I’d better go and get the tea started. I’ll leave our Jackie out there and call her in when it’s ready. See you tomorrow – and good luck.’ She gave Sadie a hug and went on her way.
Frank was just pulling up as she put the key in the door. Stan got out and greeted her before going into his own house. Frank carried a bag inside and put it down in the hall.
