The Stronger, Safer Kind (The Boys of DownCrash #1) (new adult contemporary rockstar romance)

by Casey, London

  “I just don’t want you to…”

  “I do,” I said. “Tonight, I do.”

  Tripp started playing the same song that he played when he brought me on stage. Call it worrying, call it habit, I looked around the bar, expecting to see Andy somewhere.

  Nope.

  No Andy.

  Tripp started singing, the same heartfelt, raw lyrics, and slowly people started joining him. The lyrics actually had my heart twisted, trying to ring itself out of the pain and secrets I held.

  My mind started to slip away, my brain tried to remember the lyrics the best I could. I didn’t have much time with the song before all hell broke loose with Andy but once the chorus started, I felt my mouth moving. Somehow I picked up enough on the catchy chorus that it stuck. Tripp sang the chorus the first time and then leaned away from the mic. He turned his head and bobbed his head, waiting for everyone else to finish the chorus.

  Everyone did, leaving Tripp with a smile on his face.

  This was his healing. People sharing his words, his dream, his song.

  It was powerful.

  It was beautiful.

  And then it was all broken up when I felt my phone vibrate.

  Shit.

  Tripp started singing the second verse. My body tingled, stuck between falling in love with the song and the memory of Andy rushing the stage to punch Tripp.

  I looked at my phone and sure enough, it was Andy.

  Hey beautiful. Are you okay tonight? Nobody has seen you since class…

  I cringed.

  First off, Andy always called me beautiful. It now had a different meaning, just like everything else. And thinking of nobody seeing me since class made me picture Andy walking around campus with a picture of me, asking people if they’ve seen me.

  I hated it.

  But I didn’t.

  He was checking up on me, like he always did.

  I looked up and caught Tripp staring at me. His eyes weren’t so innocent then. They were angry, turning into that blackness of being let down and hurt.

  I held my phone with both hands, knowing I needed to text Andy back. But I couldn’t do it in the middle of the song. I didn’t want to ruin it for Tripp, or myself.

  I couldn’t do it.

  I dropped my phone into my bag, feeling regret as I did.

  I saw Andy pacing his room, waiting for my text to come through. Then again, I really saw Tripp as he played and sang into the next chorus.

  I was finally able to experience the entire song. Right into a powerful bridge and a breakdown that suggested there was a solo meant to be played, but with one guitar, he couldn’t do it. His fingers did move up and down the neck of the guitar so smoothly, it drove me wild. I couldn’t stop thinking about his hands on me, wondering if they would move with the same confidence and smoothness.

  Something told me they would.

  Tripp finished the song and lowered his head. He strummed the last chord over and over, playing it lighter and lighter, letting it fade until he stopped completely. The bar erupted in applause and Tripp turned and put the guitar on its stand. He got his beer, held it up, and jumped from the stage and disappeared into the back.

  “That was intense,” Maggie said.

  “That was perfect,” I whispered. “It’s just what I needed to hear…”

  Maggie turned me to face her. “Okay, now what am I supposed to do?”

  I blinked and saw the concern in her eyes. “Do whatever you normally do.”

  “And sit back and watch my best friend spend the night with Tripp Sage?”

  “First, I have to text Andy. He’s been looking for me.”

  “Of course he has. He could probably sense something.”

  “That’s not fair to me,” I said.

  “I never said it was, Scarlett. Just know I love you and I’m here for you.” Maggie looked over her shoulder, following my stare. “And I guess Tripp is too.”

  Maggie stood and gave me the motherly eyes. She mouthed Call me and raised an eyebrow. I knew what that meant. If I needed anything, I could call her.

  I stood and walked to Tripp. He stood with his hands in his pockets, looking so sexy I could melt right before him. His messy black hair looked a little sweaty and it instantly made me think of sex.

  “What’d you think, Scarlett?” he asked.

  “That was amazing,” I said. “Didn’t know you played by yourself.”

  “I play all the time,” Tripp said. “It’s what I do. Let’s get something to drink.”

  Tripp cut between two people who quickly patted his back and told him how good he was. The bartender brought two beers and Tripp handed me one and then took my hand and led me to one of the booths in the corner. His grip started on my wrist but then casually slid down to my hand. By the time we reached the booth, our fingers were interlocked. My body was so heated - and so wet - I wanted to just leave with him right then.

  As we stared at each other, I could see Tripp’s face changing. He finally spoke and it wasn’t what I wanted him to say.

  “You can text him if you want.”

  “Text who?” I asked.

  “Pretty boy string bean,” Tripp said. “Tell him you’re out for the night.”

  “It’s not like that, you know,” I said.

  “Is that why you’re hand is in your bag, looking for your phone?”

  Sure enough, my hand was in my bag, holding my phone. I had the intense urge to text Andy if for nothing more than to give his mind peace so he wasn’t thinking about me. Especially that I was out with Tripp.

  “Sorry,” I said and took the phone out of my bag.

  “So… what is it then?” Tripp asked.

  “What’s what?”

  “With string bean. What is it?”

  “Complicated,” I said and looked to the screen.

  Hey Andy - I’m fine. Just out, thinking. Please don’t worry about me.

  I hit send but didn’t put the phone away. I knew Andy would text me back.

  “Complicated,” Tripp said and smiled. “Everything is complicated, isn’t it?”

  “Such as?”

  “Well, here I am, wasting my night with someone so hidden I’m not so sure she’d see her own reflection, no matter how hard she looked.”

  “You’re an asshole,” I blurted out.

  Tripp’s eyes widened for a second. “Wow. That’s the first sense of honesty I’ve gotten from you. You know, if we are being honest, I normally wouldn’t spend this much time with someone. I’m not one for preying, if you get what I mean.”

  What a dick. But even still, I didn’t leave. I didn’t stand. I didn’t reply.

  My phone went off and it was a message from Andy.

  I always worry about you. Can’t help it. That’s just my heart. See you tomorrow, Scarlett.

  I tossed the phone back into my bag.

  “Then why are you with me?” I asked Tripp. “If I’m such a waste of time.”

  “I never said you were a waste of time. You intrigue me, Scarlett.”

  “Why?”

  “First off, you’re beautiful. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since I saw you in Dave’s. Second, each time I say your name, you either look away or look uncomfortable. What are you hiding?”

  You have such a pretty name…

  I swallow hard and feel the emotions rising.

  “Who are you to ask me what I’m hiding?” I asked. “I don’t even know you.”

  “There you go again. Put up that wall.”

  “Like you’re one to talk,” I said. “You don’t think I can’t see through this rockstar act. You have eyes like mine.”

  “I’m at least honest with myself,” Tripp said.

  “Do you see your reflection when you look in the mirror?”

  Tripp smiled. He took a drink from his beer and slid it to the edge of the table. It came close to falling off but didn’t. He moved from the booth and I thought I had gotten to him. Part of me felt good but the
rest of me felt horrible. I didn’t want him to go away.

  He put his hand out and said, “Come on. Let’s go.”

  “Go where?”

  “Let’s find out if I can see my reflection.”

  “You’ve been drinking,” I said.

  “No. I had a beer or two. I played a show. Now I’m going to take you somewhere. Let’s go.”

  Against my better judgment, I put my hand into his and stood up. I tried to find Maggie through the mix of the crowd but didn’t. Tripp pushed through the backdoor of the bar and walked me through the kitchen area. Out back was a pitch black car that somehow matched Tripp.

  I stood at the passenger door, my body shaking.

  “Are you okay to drive?” I asked.

  Tripp had his door open. His shook his head. “You worry about string bean. You worry about me. And yet you stand there, hidden.”

  Tripp didn’t answer my question but he did get into the car and start it. I hurried and got into the car too. He started driving before I could close the door. My hands gripped the side of the seats as he shifted gears, speeding from the small parking lot.

  As we made it to the main road and Tripp started to drive faster, I looked at him. I could see something dark and painful, right there, right at the surface, just waiting to come out. My heart jumped. My heart raced. My body ached for him.

  And the faster we went, the more I wanted him.

  The more I wanted this.

  Take me away, Tripp… please…

  12

  The main roads came and went as Tripp turned down a few dark streets that made me nervous. He drove with confidence and with purpose, leading me onto a back road that made me wonder if we were going to get stuck. His car maintained traction even though my mind constantly reminded me that plenty of horror movies started the same way.

  No masked killers or crazed loons followed us.

  Tripp came to a stop and that’s when I saw the headlights of his car reflecting off a body of water. He turned his high beams on, showing me how big the body of water was. It was some kind of lake, big enough that it gave me the shivers. Being in the dark near water scared the heck out of me. But it wasn’t too big, I could see lights across it. Probably houses of those with enough money to afford a little luxury.

  Tripp turned his car off but left the lights on.

  “What is this?” I asked.

  “Just somewhere,” Tripp said. “Nice, isn’t it?”

  “Peaceful.”

  “I like to sit out here sometimes and hide. Think. Listen to music. Have a drink or two.”

  “You can’t have drinks in a car,” I said.

  Tripp looked at me. “Are you going to call the cops on me?”

  “Maybe I will.”

  “You wouldn’t know where to tell them to come. Face it, it’s just you and me. Alone. Hiding together.”

  That didn’t sound so bad. And it was the truth. If I had to make a phone call (if I even had cell phone reception) I wouldn’t be able to tell someone the first thing about where I was. Other than I could see a lake.

  “Okay, let’s do something,” Tripp said.

  He was out the door a second later. He walked in front of his headlights, the bright light bouncing off him, calling out all his features. He came to my side and opened the door.

  “I want to show you something,” he said. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

  “Promise?” I asked, smiling.

  “Actually, no.” Tripp said. “Sometimes I can’t control myself.”

  For whatever reason, that turned me on.

  I stepped from the car and Tripp interlocked our fingers again. It made my body ache even more. Everything was heightened… my chest felt sensitive and between my legs, I had a sense of need that wouldn’t stop.

  Tripp walked us to the edge of the lake. We stood there, the lights of his car shining on our backs, feeling the cool breeze coming from the water. There were the very faint sounds of the water rippling, moving to the shore and back.

  So calming.

  So romantic.

  A gust picked up for a few seconds and I turned my head towards Tripp. My chin touched his shoulder and he put his hand to my face and pulled me in tight. His hand slipped from me and went around my body. In a matter of seconds, Tripp was holding me, his head resting on my head. I could feel his heart beating, so calm and confident.

  His fingers started to run through my hair and I let out a soft moan, closing my eyes, butterflies rushing through my stomach.

  “Scarlett, I want to know what you’re hiding,” Tripp said.

  “I want to know what you’re hiding too,” I said.

  Tripp exhaled a deep breath and I felt it rush against the top of my head.

  “It’s not that easy,” Tripp said. “It doesn’t work that way.”

  “I think it does. You should see yourself… when you sing that song…”

  “What song? ‘Burn?’”

  “If that’s the one you sang to me…”

  “That’s the one.”

  “I love that song, Tripp.”

  I picked my head up and looked up at him. I noticed then how perfect his chin was, like a piece of chiseled stone. Covered slightly with a little scruff. His eyes were dark and almost innocent as he stared at me.

  That was the moment I knew he wanted to kiss me.

  I felt it happening and I was ready.

  But then Tripp broke his hold on me and slipped away. I watched him walk back to his car. I turned and tried to take a step, but Tripp put a hand out.

  “Stay there,” he said. “Trust me.”

  Could I trust Tripp?

  I wanted to trust him. My body wanted to trust him. The lust raging throughout my veins wanted to trust him. The feeling he gave me sought trust, but I had to stay in reality.

  It was Tripp Sage.

  Lead singer and guitarist for DownCrash.

  Tripp climbed into his car and turned the lights off.

  It left everything almost dark. I could see the silhouette of him sitting behind the wheel. I looked up and saw the moon over me, not quite full, but enough that it gave us light. I couldn’t imagine standing out at that lake with no moon in the sky or on a cloudy night. It would be terrifying.

  Tripp just sat there and stared at me. Even at the distance, I could still feel him. Everything in my life was changing with each passing second. The breeze coming off the lake wrapped its chilly arms around me over and over until I started to shiver. I hugged myself, wanting it to be Tripp.

  What was Tripp thinking about?

  What was happening between us?

  I saw Tripp turn and lean towards the backseat.

  Oh, the backseat… the things that could happen there.

  I smiled, feeling everything heating up again.

  But then I heard a voice inside my head. One that could destroy everything.

  You’re too pretty for just anyone.

  I closed my eyes and chased it away. No way I was having that nightmare again. Not tonight. Not out here. Not with Tripp. If anything, with Tripp, I was so far away from reality, it shouldn’t have existed. But it did.

  When I opened my eyes I saw Tripp with his head back, drinking.

  I cringed, hating the idea of Tripp drinking since he had to drive us home. He moved from the car and put the bottle on the hood. It was too tall to be a beer bottle. That made me even more nervous.

  He walked back to me with a serious look on his face.

  “I’m driving,” I said. “I hope you realize that.”

  “You already are driving,” Tripp whispered. Then he put his nose to mine and his hands to my hips. “You’re driving me fucking wild, Scarlett.”

  I smiled. “That was terrible.”

  “Kiss me,” Tripp said.

  “You’re telling me to kiss you? You can’t kiss me?”

  “Oh, Scarlett, I can kiss you… and so much more…” Tripp started to sway, moving with the breeze. In a way I felt like we were
floating. “But I want you to kiss me.”

  “I want to kiss you, Tripp,” I said.

  “You’re not though.”

  I licked my lips, hesitating, watching the seconds waste away, crumbling to the ground. What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just do it? Why couldn’t I just kiss him?

  Tripp kept his nose to mine, his eyes open, his mouth closed.

  I could practically taste him already. He smelled of booze and had a devilish look that made my tongue want to start with his lips and go elsewhere.

  My body had never been so engaged in my entire life. The passion moved through me… my needs and wants… and Tripp controlled it all. He knew exactly what he was doing. If he made that first move, then he would own it all. It would be my excuse out of the entire situation, that is, if I wanted out. I could fall back on Tripp and blame him. Blame the night. The moment. The everything else but myself. And that would all be a lie.

  Tripp didn’t want me to lie… especially to myself.

  He knew what I wanted. Him.

  I knew what I wanted.

  I just need to… kiss him…

  I licked my lips again, probably looking foolish.

  Tripp smiled and shook his head, the tip of his nose rubbing against mine.

  “I can’t believe it,” he whispered. “Someone so perfect but so flawed…”

  He pulled away and turned around.

  Perfect but flawed. Just like Tripp.

  He made it one step before I grabbed his arm. I pulled with all my strength, turning him, forcing him back to me. Our bodies collided together with the worst intentions. Our lips came together and as we kissed, I wasn’t sure who actually made the first move.

  Not that it mattered at that point.

  Our lips were together and I breathed heavily.

  I kissed him once, he kissed me twice. Our mouths casually opened and the tips of our tongues touched at the same time. We were both eager and ready.

  His hands touched my sides and I slipped my fingers into the top of his pants. I never felt so sexually aggressive in my life. I pulled at him, my nails touching the soft cloth of his boxers. If I had been inside his boxers, I’d be right there… ready to touch him…

  Tripp moved his right hand to the back of my neck and pulled me tighter, forcing the kiss deeper. He turned his head and savored my mouth. My tongue battled with his, wanting more. I felt my hips shaking as I started to grind at him. I could feel him, thickening, positioned right at me.