The Stronger, Safer Kind (The Boys of DownCrash #1) (new adult contemporary rockstar romance)

by Casey, London

  “I can,” Andy said. “If I… if I have you in my life… I can walk away from anything.”

  “But you can’t stay because of me,” I said. “Because then there will always be that pressure. To be together…”

  “So you don’t want to be together?”

  I had officially put myself in a corner. My greasy food churned in my stomach and my coffee was down to its last sip which was cool and creamy. Not the taste I was hoping for.

  I thought about Tripp, in my room, looking through my panties. The epitome of living fast and free, enjoying life, taking the moments and throwing them into the air and seeing what falls whenever. And then I looked at Andy, the kind of guy who had it all organized and just wanted me next to him.

  I pictured Andy not there. Not seeing him everyday. Not joking with him, flirting with him, touching him. Not having his strong arms hugging me or the way his eyes looked at me.

  “I can’t imagine you not here,” I said.

  “You mean that?” Andy asked.

  “I swear,” I said. I put my hand out and Andy took it. My heart raced and hurt at the same time.

  Andy moved his fingers along my wrist. It was a ticklish spot but the right touch there could turn me on. And that’s just what happened. Andy’s movements were intense and the way he stared at me, I felt my body warming up. I started to feel an aching regret inside my body. I actually wanted Andy.

  “I hate decisions,” Andy said and smiled. “I hate them all.”

  “Me too,” I whispered.

  “What if there were no decisions? What if we could just… do whatever we wanted? Just run with our feelings?”

  I smiled and loved the idea but how would that work when feelings were constantly changing?

  “I just need to figure everything out,” I said. “It’s not just the past that you know, Andy…”

  “I understand,” Andy cut in. “Everything with your parents and stuff. I would never put that kind of pressure on you. I’m not asking you to marry me or spend the rest of your life with me.”

  “It’s not just that,” I said, almost wanting him to ask me what I meant.

  My nerves started to shake. I hated thinking about everything and I hated that it somehow involved and revolved around Andy.

  “Let’s get out of here,” Andy said. “I have to get back to my place. I have a paper due for Monday and I need to finish it.”

  “Can you take me home?” I asked. “I really need a shower… and a nap.”

  Andy nodded.

  He had the window right there to make a comment about showering with me but he didn’t grab for it. He was too romantic for it. He wanted to literally take care of me. But I didn’t feel worthy of being cared for. I wanted the crazy lust, at least right then.

  Andy paid and refused to let me help. He always did that but now it suddenly felt like a date. He took my hand and we walked from the diner to his car. When he opened my door I kicked it shut.

  “What the hell?” he asked. “My car…”

  “Don’t open the door for me,” I said. “I’m not that kind of girl. And I never will be. No matter what.”

  Andy walked to his side, his face looking pissed off. I could respect it. I know in his mind he pictured me throwing myself at him, begging him not to leave. But who was I to stand in the way of someone’s life?

  The car ride was in silence and it made me think of back in high school when Andy dragged me from a party after I had been slipping for a little while. He took care of me that night and the next day drove me home in silence. He was so upset with me. It actually hurt me, then and now. I didn’t want Andy to be upset with me ever.

  We got to my apartment and I noticed Tripp’s black car still sitting there. Maggie’s car was nowhere to be found. That meant Tripp waited all that time in the apartment for me.

  My heart twisted some more.

  I looked at Andy and he looked at me.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “For what?” he asked.

  “For not giving you the answer you wanted. For not being the girl you want me to be.”

  Andy put two fingers under my chin. “You are the girl I want you to be. You’re Scarlett. It’s all I could ever want.”

  I swallowed and got lost in his eyes for a few seconds. The high school puppy dog love feeling rolled through my body. It began to mix with my body’s needs and I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled. I closed my eyes when his lips touched mine.

  Fuck it, I thought.

  I couldn’t stand it anymore.

  Andy was sexy and I needed him right then.

  I opened my mouth as he slid his hand from my chin to the back of my neck. He was so gentle with his grip. His tongue was anything but, the kiss becoming hot and aggressive, something that had been built up in his mind for a long time.

  I wasn’t sure how long we made out but when we finally stopped and Andy pulled away, his lips were really red and his face looked flushed. His eyes burned for me and I licked my lips, tasting our kiss.

  “I had to,” I said.

  “I’m glad,” Andy said.

  “I have to go now.”

  Andy nodded.

  I got out of the car and stood for a few seconds to gain my balance. I blinked and saw Tripp’s car. I had to look away.

  Andy backed up and started to drive away. I watched as he slowed for a few seconds, but he wasn’t staring at me. He then sped away. When I walked to see what he had been looking at, I noticed something on the back of Tripp’s car.

  Across the bottom bumper, a custom grey decal… that read…

  DownCrash

  Shit.

  Andy knew that Tripp was in my apartment.

  15

  I stormed into my apartment and ran to the bedroom.

  Tripp sat at my computer, listening to music.

  “Tripp,” I said.

  He turned his head. “Scarlett.”

  I looked at my bed. The pair of panties he had taken a picture of were there. A skimpy purple laced pair. Everything else looked untouched and in order.

  “I’m sorry that took so long,” I said. “Andy wanted to go out for breakfast and talk.”

  “Did he propose?” Tripp asked.

  “No. But he got an offer to move to Maine.”

  Tripp didn’t say anything. He turned off the music and stood. “That’s cool. I’m going to take off. I need to meet up with the guys and get a practice together.”

  “Wait,” I said. “I’m really confused right now.”

  “I could imagine,” Tripp said. He didn’t even look at me as he walked out my bedroom.

  He seemed cold, annoyed. The sexual energy that was there when he carried me to my room was all gone.

  I chased after him and grabbed his shirt. “Tripp, wait…”

  He stopped but didn’t turn around.

  “What the hell is going on?”

  “Nothing,” he said. “You’re confused. Go be confused. I’m going to live my life.”

  “What are you being like this?”

  He looked over his shoulder and swallowed. “You know, I never took anyone to that spot. Last night. That’s my spot. Where I go to think. Only me, Tatum, and Logan know about it. And even they know it’s off limits.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Thank you for taking me then. I needed it. It was… amazing.”

  “And confusing,” Tripp said.

  “For you?”

  Tripp smiled and shook his head. “Let me know when you can see yourself in the mirror.”

  He tried to move and I tugged at his shirt. He moved and broke away.

  “Tripp, don’t go,” I said.

  “It’s all good,” he said. “You have a decision to make, so go make it.”

  He was gone and the door shut. And just like that, I was alone. I normally don’t mind being alone, something I had intended for the night before, but now I felt everything slipping away.

  Andy could go to Maine and have a good lif
e. With anyone. His heart could mend over me and both time and distance would do that. With ease.

  And Tripp… was Tripp. He was the singer and guitarist for DownCrash. He lived life, he partied, and that was where it all stopped for him. The future was laced in a black cloth and he would lift it inch by inch, surprised with each turn.

  I wanted both.

  I wanted it all.

  I took two steps after turning and the door opened. I spun, imagining some kind of combination of Andy and Tripp lunging at me.

  But it was just Maggie.

  “Holy shit, Scarlett, you look like death,” she said.

  “Hello to you too,” I said.

  “How was your night?” she asked and raised her eyebrows.

  “I fucked Tripp and kissed Andy,” I said.

  Maggie dropped her bag and put a hand to her mouth. “Whoa…”

  “Whoa,” I repeated. “I’m a mess, Maggie.”

  And I remained a mess for the next twenty minutes as I paced our tiny apartment explaining all that I could. From Andy’s confession to Tripp sending me a picture of my own purple panties. I didn’t need to tell Maggie how confused I felt because the look on her face as she tried to follow the story told me she understood.

  When I stopped, she moved into the kitchen and started making coffee. Deep in thought. Staring as the coffee dripped into the pot, watching it fill little by little.

  “Maggie?”

  “I don’t know what to tell you,” she admitted. “I mean, wow, you have two super hot guys that are total opposites after you.”

  “After me? Andy is after me. Tripp is just for fun.”

  “Or you think.”

  I frowned. Did Tripp have feelings for me too? Like that helped anything.

  “I just feel like I’m hurting Andy all the time now,” I said.

  “He’s hurting himself,” Maggie said. “I love Andy, okay? But he lets his mind run wild sometimes. It’s not fair to you. You’re single and you can do what you want.”

  “Well, what if I want to do both Andy and Tripp?”

  I grinned a forceful grin and Maggie smiled. “I would enjoy it. While it lasts, because this kind of stuff always ends up in a mess.”

  “I already feel like a mess,” I said.

  “So it evens out.”

  Maggie poured me a cup of coffee and I held the warm cup in my hands. “Tell me about your night.”

  “My night? Nothing special. Just Jeff slobbering all over my body for half the night. Then he fell asleep and so did I.”

  “Nothing too exciting then.”

  Maggie lifted her coffee mug onwards me. “You’re the new hot party girl in this apartment, Scarlett.”

  It had a nice sound to it but I didn’t like it at all.

  I spent the rest of the late morning and early afternoon studying. Doing my best to be a good student even though my mind couldn’t have cared less about economic theories. Our professor also wanted a paper on the economic collapse, explaining how it happened, why it happened, what I could have done to prevent it and what I would do to prevent something like it from happening again. Like I had the time and energy for that.

  I broke up the afternoon with a shower and when I opened the bathroom door, Maggie stood there, waiting for me like a creepy stalker. She held my cell phone in her hand and I grabbed it, wanting to smack the little smirk on her face.

  “Everyone wants a piece of you,” she said.

  Great, texts from both Andy and Tripp.

  Andy, the kind romantic he was… Scarlett, I hope you don’t feel pressure. I just wanted to be honest about things. With everything. I’ll always be honest. See you soon.

  I closed his message and opened Tripp’s.

  Tripp wasn’t so romantic, but I couldn’t get enough of him.

  Put those panties on and come see me. Band is practicing.

  I stared at the message, picturing DownCrash practicing. In a small room. Having fun. Getting sweaty. Tripp playing guitar. Singing.

  “We should go,” Maggie said.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Band practice. With DownCrash.”

  “You read my texts? Wait, was this the first time?”

  Maggie didn’t reply. Her eyes did all the talking. I wanted to be mad at her but I couldn’t be. She had the same mindset I did.

  Band practice sounded right. And hot.

  I thought about the morning, Tripp and Andy.

  I texted Tripp back.

  Thought you were mad at me.

  “There,” I said to Maggie, “I’m making plans.”

  “Good. Now I have to get ready. This is wild.”

  Of course it is, I thought and hurried into my room too. I suddenly felt like I was back in high school, frantically trying to find the right clothes to wear to a party so a hot guy would talk to me. But I couldn’t deny myself this. I got my class work done. I even started my economics paper, something I would have just started the day before it was due. As far as I was concerned, I was ahead, so fuck it.

  Tripp texted me back.

  It’s all good. I just don’t want you confused. Come enjoy some music and then we’ll talk. And you can show me those panties ;)

  I laughed as my body warmed over. My fingers were resting on my cell phone screen.

  I’ll show you only if you show me your tattoos.

  It came to me so fast and it was so good. I thought abut seeing some of his tattoos the night before. Me naked in the backseat of his car. My legs open. Him taking his shirt off. My eyes feasting on skin, tone muscle, and ink.

  I wanted Tripp so bad.

  My phone stared to ring and when I saw the picture of Andy on the small screen I yelped and tossed the phone to the bed.

  I stared at it, ignoring the call.

  It went to voicemail and then beeped. I had to listen to it.

  Hey love, it’s me. Just wanted to let you know my father needs my help. I’m driving home right now. I’ll be back tomorrow, just in time to pick you up for dinner. You can’t say no, Scarlett. I know I promised I wouldn’t pressure you, and I’m not, I just want to take you to dinner. See you tomorrow night. … Bye.

  There was a hesitation just before Bye and I pictured Andy debating on whether to say he loved me or not. Maggie came into my room before my mind could run away with anything. We left and decided to take separate cars, something that didn’t make sense to me at first, but the way Maggie looked at me when she suggested it told me she was planning on leaving long before I did.

  Tripp texted me the directions to his band practice and we were there in less than thirty minutes. It was a small alley that looked sort of normal. It looked like a neighborhood, definitely not the college town feel I was used to.

  The practice room was a garage. Maggie and I actually had to knock on the garage door to bring attention to ourselves. Tripp ran to the door and opened it. He welcomed us in with a smile. He looked sexy as hell, wearing a sleeveless shirt, showing off muscle and ink. When he moved back to his mic and guitar, I noticed the bottle on the ground. Another bottle of vodka, this one just getting started. Tripp turned his amp off just as a screeching feedback sounded.

  “Take five,” he said and the other two guys listened. Tripp took two steps and then stopped. “Oh yeah, I don’t think everyone has really met yet.”

  “We met Scarlett,” the tall guy said as he swirled a drumstick in his hand. “Right before her boyfriend punched you.”

  “Wait a second,” I said.

  “Yeah, he didn’t punch me out,” Tripp said. “I took the shot like a man.”

  “And he’s not my boyfriend,” I said.

  The drummer rolled his eyes and tapped the rounded tips of his drumsticks on a cymbal.

  “Like I was saying,” Tripp said, “the guy with the drumsticks is Tatum and the guy who plays bass and guitar is Logan.”

  They both nodded.

  The sexual energy in the room was explosive, like a thick fog. I couldn’t get enough of i
t. They were all so different in their own ways but they were all three so sexy. Logan walked from his bass and grabbed an acoustic guitar, plopped down on a chair, and just started strumming chords. So easily.

  “Guys,” Tripp said, “this is Scarlett and her roommate… uh…”

  “Maggie,” I said. I looked at Maggie and saw the eyes she gave Tatum, the drummer.

  Yeah, this seemed like it was going to be one of those nights.

  “Hey,” Maggie said, her eyes locked to Tatum.

  “What’s up?” Tatum asked and smiled. He moved his tongue up and around the silver ring that pierced his lip.

  I could only imagine what was going through Maggie’s mind. She loved tall, skinny guys, and she loved piercings. Almost as much as she loved guys who played music. Add all that to the fact that DownCrash was the hottest band in town, Maggie was in her glory.

  Tripp worked his way to me and took my hand. His lips were at my ear. “Come on, let me show you around.”

  “Around?” I asked.

  Tripp smiled and raised his eyebrows.

  We walked and he pointed out useless stuff. The rugs on the concrete floor. The fridge in the corner stocked with beer. The freezer stocked with ice and bottles of vodka and whiskey. I didn’t dare ask if he had any soda or juices for mixing drinks. DownCrash definitely wasn’t a mixed drink band.

  I thought I seen everything until he showed me the back corner.

  There were steps.

  “No way,” I whispered.

  “Yes,” Tripp said. “You go first.”

  “Why? So you can grab my ass?”

  “Exactly.”

  I took the first step and Tripp’s hands cupped my ass. I let out a squeal, my only option other than groaning which would have been awkward with the band and Maggie not too far away.

  “Tripp,” I growled.

  “Sorry,” he said. “Thought you were falling.”

  He squeezed his hands and I jumped, hurrying up the steps. When I stood and looked around, I was in a shock. The top of the garage was like a small apartment. A loft that was Tripp’s… home?

  I looked at him and he nodded.

  “This is where I crash,” he said. “Beats the dorms. Beats sharing an apartment too.”

  “Is it safe?” I asked.

  “Safe? Why wouldn’t it be safe? It’s insulated. Heated.”