I heard the sound of the garage door grinding as it slid open. It felt like a mini earthquake.
“Is that Logan or Tatum?” I asked.
Maybe they could get Tripp to sleep or maybe someone would tell me what the hell was wrong with Tripp.
I heard footsteps and Tripp closed his eyes and whispered, “Whoops…”
“What’s whoops?” I asked.
“Tripp?”
A girl’s voice.
My face dropped.
Tripp opened his eyes and shook his head. “Scarlett… it’s not anything, okay?”
“You have another girl coming over?” I asked.
Tripp leaned towards me, kissing the tip of my nose. “You said it, beautiful, you’re single. So am I.”
“So booze isn’t enough then?” I asked.
“I guess not.”
“Let me stay. I’ll fuck you, Tripp. Okay? I’ll fuck you. I’ll chase the voice away…”
“Tripp?” the voice called again.
“You don’t want to get involved,” Tripp said. “I’m a fantasy. Every girl’s fantasy. I party. I sing. I play guitar. I’m in pain. That’s all I am and all I’ll ever be. Just go, Scarlett. Go to string bean. Go to your easy life. Whatever pain you’re hiding isn’t enough… to match mine…”
Tripp took my arms from his and then stumbled back to the bed. He fell and sat. I turned just in time to see a girl’s head poking up from the opening in the loft.
“Who are you?” she asked.
“Leaving,” I said. “Get out of my way.”
She fumbled with the last couple steps. She looked half drunk herself, wearing a tight top, short skirt, and stunk of slut. As she strutted by me she pouted her lips. I felt my hands go into fists. I thought about hitting her but knew nothing good would come of it. Instead I rushed back to the bed and opened the drawer of Tripp’s nightstand. I found a box of condoms and poured them to the bed.
“Wear two with this slut,” I said and with that, I left the loft.
The girl didn’t say a word and the entire time I climbed down the ladder, Tripp said my name.
Over and over.
In a drunk voice.
Bringing my own nightmare back again and again.
Scarlett… Scarlett… oh, yes, Scarlett… you have such a pretty name… Scarlett… and you’re so pretty… Scarlett…
I sped away, unsure where to go. My head spun, my heart ached, and I choked back tears. I tried listening to the radio and of all damn things that could be on, when I tuned into the local college station, they were playing a DownCrash song. I punched my radio and turned it off.
I didn’t want to face Maggie.
I didn’t want to face my apartment.
I didn’t want to face anything that had to do with Tripp. Whatever demons he tried fighting had obviously taken over. The drinking. Bringing girls over. And worse yet, I had no way of getting in touch with Logan or Tatum. I wasn’t even sure if they’d care or do something.
Tripp in pain meant Tripp writing good music.
I hated it.
Killing himself to spill his heart for a few lines of music.
When I stopped driving, I was the only other place in the world that mattered to me. The most logical place but probably the worst place to be right then.
I was at Andy’s apartment.
20
I knocked and when Andy answered, I don’t know what I saw. Between my heart being torn to pieces and the choice of complete opposite lives, I dove into Andy’s arms. My hands locked behind his back, my front against his in a very improper way.
“Scarlett… are you okay?” he asked.
I swung my foot and kicked the door shut.
I closed my eyes and inhaled Andy’s smell. That clean cut, good guy smell. Fresh soap. Powerful cologne.
So sexy.
I looked up and found my lips grazing Andy’s neck. My entire body shook with excitement and fear. This was the exact kind of moment I had been waiting for with Andy. Something had to give and when I opened my mouth, my tongue flicking at his neck, it finally gave way.
“Oh, Scarlett,” he whispered as I kissed his neck.
My kisses were shaky, my breath heavy.
His hands pulled at me tighter.
I could feel him against me, already getting hard.
I moaned and moved to my toes. As I did, my body rubbed against him. I felt thick muscle and hardness, everywhere. I bit at the bottom of his ear and he groaned. One of his hands started to move down my back. It was the first real move he ever made at me. When he got to my jeans, he slipped a finger into one of the belt loops and he lifted me with ease. My legs wrapped around him and our eyes were locked.
He burned with lust.
I burned with desire.
We breathed heavy at each other, our warm breaths swirling.
My mind could only think one thing…
Oh, fuck.
We kissed at the exact same time, both of us wanting this. There was no pushing, no pressure, no talking. Just years upon years of wonder, flirting, the potential for the moment, and it all came together. In high school, it would have been different. It would have been a kiss and then awkward conversations and planning a way to get alone. But we were adults… nothing could stop us.
Nothing.
Andy didn’t have a roommate in his apartment and as he carried me to his bedroom, I kissed him harder.
I wanted to kiss everything away.
My secret.
My nightmare.
Part of me even wanted to kiss Tripp away.
For a guy who told me to look at my reflection, Tripp did a hell of a job shattering his own reflection.
Andy’s hands were under my shirt, his large hands against my back. He was so strong and his touch still so soft. The potential that swirled around Andy is what really turned me on.
In his room, he carried me to the bed.
He was on top of me, kissing me again and again. His hands were flat against the bed, leaving some space between us. His lower half touched mine, making damn sure that I could feel his erection.
Trust me, I could feel it.
I thrust my body against him, wanting to feel more of it. Wanting to feel all of it.
“Scarlett,” Andy groaned as he kissed my bottom lip and started to move.
I put my elbows to the bed and lifted myself, then let my head fall back. Andy’s tongue moved along my neck with confidence. Not an ounce of fear in his body existed right then. It was the first time I experienced Andy in complete control.
It was intense.
His right hand touched my stomach and moved up, under my shirt, until he touched my bra. He cupped my breast over my bra. I moaned. I wanted more. I needed it. I pulled my shirt up to my bra and looked at Andy’s hand. He could cup my entire breast and still have room. My entire body throbbed and burned. I moved his hand out of the way and pulled my bra up. I couldn’t believe what I was doing, but I wanted Andy’s bare hand against my bare breast.
His hand cupped under my breast for a second. He looked at me in the eyes and then back to my breast. When he moved down, I watched his lips touch the very tip of my nipple. His nose came next, nuzzling me for a second before he kissed my breast. His other hand grabbed my shirt and started to lift. I sat up and Andy took my shirt off, throwing it to the other side of his bed. He then fixed my bra, covering my breast.
For a second I thought Andy was pulling back. Regretting. Going to say something stupid like this isn’t the right moment, Scarlett.
He didn’t.
He slid his hand behind my neck and we kissed deeply for a few seconds. Then I felt his fingers touch the top of my jeans. He unbuttoned them and his fingers touched my panties. I moaned and whispered his name.
Andy guided me back to the bed and I could only look down as he kissed my neck again and started to move down, kiss by kiss. At my chest, he kiss each of my breasts, leaving me feeling teased because my bra was on and in the way. I wa
nted his tongue everywhere…
“Scarlett,” Andy said, kissing me. “You are so amazing. Always amazing.”
Just above my belly button, Andy sighed. His warm breath made my body shake with excitement. My hands were gripped around the sheets, waiting and watching.
Andy circled my belly button, his eyes looking at me as he smiled. He wore his glasses and something about it just made it ten times hotter. The glasses were sexy. I didn’t know why.
At my jeans, Andy brought his hands up and started to gently work his hands into my pants. His hands moved around to my lower back and he lifted me, telling me to let him take my pants off. And he didn’t have to speak a word. He took my pants off and ran his hands up my legs slowly. I saw the look in his eyes when I opened my legs, my panties still covering my most delicate area. But I was so ready for him, so wet, dripping with passion, Andy could sense all he needed to.
He kissed just above my panties and his fingers pulled at the top of them. For every inch he pulled, his tongue followed. He warm tongue ran against my soft, bare skin, down until he reached my center. I felt the tip of his tongue graze along my clit and I cried out.
Oh, fuck, this was happening like this.
Andy held my panties down as his tongue sampled me, licking down and back up with thorough licks, not missing an inch of my tender folds and body. He groaned and gripped my panties tighter, a sudden rush of aggression flowed through his body. He pulled with force and my panties were down and off. Andy’s hands gripped the inside of my legs and his tongue was back to me, moving like I never felt before.
He held nothing back, the tip of his tongue drew everywhere, bringing my orgasmic and erotic urges to life. I groaned and thrust myself at Andy, wanting more. He brought his right hand to my sex and using his pointer finger, he touched me, played with me, working with his eager tongue, and then finally, slid his finger into me. As he fingered me, his tongue continued to move.
My back started to arch as the pleasure intensified. I was going to lose this battle to pleasure and to Andy, and that was a battle I didn’t mind losing. Andy placed his other hand just above my slit, a protective move, telling me to just trust him.
I did.
I felt myself ready to explode. I tried to look down but just the sight of Andy pleasuring me became too much to bear.
“Oh, Andy,” I whispered. “It feels so good…”
Andy groaned and then before I could take another breath, both his hands were against my hips. His hands were so big that his fingers came across my lower back while his thumbs were able to play and tease along my hipbone.
What a move.
He held me right where he wanted me, his mouth between my legs, moving anyway he wanted and needed. His tongue moved fast, moved slow. His lips kissed me everywhere, shying away from nothing and no where.
With Andy holding me and gently moving my hips up and down, wanting me to grind against him as he savored me, there was no stopping it. I wanted to tell him I was coming but when I opened my mouth, my breath was stolen. I managed to let out a half muffled groan as I came.
My insides ached and throbbed, the rush of heat and passion colliding so hard at once. It was quite honestly the first time in my life that someone made me orgasm with their mouth. And even then, with my body releasing, Andy continued to enjoy me. He was perfect at it, like nothing I ever expected.
When he finally stopped and retreated, working back up my body, I couldn’t help myself. I sat up as far as I needed to, going for his pants. I managed to somehow unbutton them and my hand was inside his pants and boxers, finding him. It wasn’t hard to find him at all. His erection, hard and big. My hand wrapped around him and I started to pull, wanting him.
“Oh, fuck,” he whispered as he struggled to push his pants and boxers down.
My mind instantly wanted to compare him to Tripp but I did my best not to.
I didn’t want to believe that Tripp was longer. I didn’t want to believe that while Andy and Tripp were the same thickness, Tripp had something else about him…
“Scarlett,” Andy moaned.
He gripped the sheets with his left hand while his right hand started to move to my breast again. This time his fingers moved my bra so he could touch me.
“Yes,” I whispered. “Go, Andy. Please…”
Andy looked down at himself, fully engorged, my small hand wrapped tight around him, moving as fast as I could.
Up and down, bottom to top, leaving nothing behind. I watched the way he looked, matching it up with the way he felt in my hand. I breathed heavy, a mix between my own pleasure and seeing Andy in so much pleasure. I could only imagine what went through his mind right then, waiting for this moment.
He started to pump himself at me, his hand on my breast gripping tighter by the second.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted Andy to actually have sex with me or not but this worked. This moment, my hand on him, moving on him, watching him. It all worked. I gripped the tip of him and moaned, thrusting myself as my hand continued as fast and as tight as I could manage.
“I’m going to…,” Andy tried to say but stopped to groan.
“Go,” I said. “Go. I want to feel it.”
Andy moaned and looked at me. He looked me in the eyes and then thrust with a violent thrust, his entire body tightening and then releasing. As he came, my mouth fell open, watching him pour on me. Over and over, I watched more and more of Andy hit me. I moved faster, unable to control my hand. His pleasure filled growls and groans made it even hotter. I moved until he stopped me. I opened my hand, covered with his orgasm, and I put my hand to his bed. Andy had both hands on his bed now, hovering over me, staring at me.
We were both still catching our breaths.
“Scarlett, I’ve wanted that…”
“…for such a long time,” I whispered. “I know. Andy, I know.”
He kissed me, the kiss starting fast and hot and eventually slowing down to just one final peck of our lips.
We cleaned ourselves up and I asked Andy if I could stay the night. He pointed to the bed and smiled. I made it clear I would sleep fully clothed and he didn’t say a word to it.
It wasn’t the first time we shared a bed together but it was the first time after such a sexual experience together. My body still throbbed, replaying the feel of Andy’s tongue against me. Even though I cleaned up the mess, Andy was still on me. My stomach, my hand.
He casually slipped his arm around me and pulled me to him. I put my head on his chest and listened to his heart, relaxing by the second. It was soothing, comfortable. This could be my life. A life just like this. Soothing, comfortable. A man who could care for my needs - sexually and well beyond. Someone to care for me… but would Andy really care for me?
I closed my eyes not wanting to ruin the moment thinking about the past.
But if it would ever happen or ever work, he’d need to know everything. I wished I could just spill it to him. Give everything. All in one shot, one chance, maybe even put it into Andy’s hands to make the decision.
But it felt wrong.
There was someone who deserved to know everything first. Someone who could understand it, appreciate it, and see it with truthful eyes.
Someone who knew what it was like to hide… to feel pain… to seek comfort to take pain away, even it was just temporarily.
Tripp.
21
Andy fell asleep first. A gentle kind of sleep, almost cute. Strong and cute. Talk about ripping your heart into pieces. As Andy slept, I bit my lip and slowly lifted his shirt. I stared at his defined stomach. I had the tempting urge to tease him and kiss him, but I realized I wasn’t looking at Andy’s stomach… then chest… for fun. Or for lust.
Andy didn’t have any tattoos.
And probably never would.
It shouldn’t have mattered… but it did.
I fell asleep shortly after and woke up to the feel of the bed moving. I opened my eyes and it was morning. I saw Andy balancing on his e
lbow, staring at me. He didn’t have glasses on and it was almost strange seeing him like that.
“Hey,” he whispered.
“Andy,” I said.
My mind replayed everything again, remembering the night. The wild feelings. The intense passion.
“Listen, Scarlett…”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. “No. Not right now, Andy. No.”
I reached for his left hand and put it around me. I rolled to my side and took Andy with me. When his strong, warm body touched mine, I drifted off back to sleep. I wasn’t ready for the day and apparently neither was Andy.
He fell asleep again and this time, as he breathed on me, even as I slept, I felt it. His warm breath. His warm body. I slipped into a dream. Everything was dark but it had purpose. It wasn’t quite the nightmare I had expected it to be, but it sure had the feeling of it. The only thing that pulled me from the dream was the sound of my phone going off. My ringtone.
When I sat up, gently moving Andy away from me, I had to think about last night again. I didn’t want to, but it kept coming to me. I didn’t have the burning feelings like I had last night while it was happening. This feeling… I don’t know. It was a mixed feeling, leave it at that.
I found my phone just as the call went to voicemail. It was from a number I didn’t know. The same number called a few seconds later so I snuck out of Andy’s room to answer.
“Hello?”
“Scarlett? Is this Scarlett?”
“Yeah. It’s Scarlett. Who’s this?”
“Scarlett, it’s Tatum.”
“Tatum from DownCrash?”
“Yeah. Are you with Tripp?”
I froze. “No.”
“Have you seen him?”
“I saw him last night. For a couple minutes. He was really drunk. And then he had a girl come over while I was there…”
“Oh, fuck,” Tatum said. “Don’t get upset.”
“Didn’t say I was,” I said. My heart burned but Tatum didn’t need to know that.
“Did he say anything to you?” Tatum asked. “About today? About… anything?”
“No. He didn’t. What the hell is going on then? You have to tell me.”
Tatum sighed. “I just can’t. It’s not my place.”
“Great. Well, I’m not with Tripp. I haven’t seen him since last night.”
The Stronger, Safer Kind (The Boys of DownCrash #1) (new adult contemporary rockstar romance) Page 13
