Mutant Bunny Island #2

by Obert Skye

  “Are they squid related?”

  “Yes. Admiral Uli uses them sometimes.”

  “It’s nice to see you’ve grown up.” Juliet was being funny, but it still stung a little. I had thought of her the whole time I was back in Ohio, and now she was already teasing me. Another golf cart came speeding up. It honked twice before skidding to a stop right next to the Squidmobile. A man I didn’t recognize hopped out and handed Zeke an orange envelope. Then, as quickly as he had driven up, he sped off.

  “Who was that?” I asked as Zeke tore open the letter and read it. He looked bewildered and unsettled. He smiled politely at Juliet and then glanced at me.

  “We’ve been invited somewhere,” he said while thrusting the orange envelope in my direction.

  I took it.

  On the front it said:

  READ IMMEDIATELY.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “It’s an invitation.”

  “From who?”

  “Lady Beatrice.”

  Juliet gasped.

  I did not.

  CHAPTER THREE

  NOT DELIGHTED TO BE INVITED

  Lady Beatrice Hatch was one of Bunny Island’s most prominent citizens. She was so prominent that I had never heard of her. Actually, I’m not sure what prominent really means; I think it mostly has to do with the fact that she is stinking rich. Zeke says she lives on the far west side of the island near the shut-down bunny sanctuary. She’s a total recluse. She rarely comes into town, even though she owns half the island. But now for some reason she sent an invitation to my uncle asking him to bring me and my “companions” to her place for dinner. Apparently, she wanted to thank me for the help I had provided last time.

  “How did she even know I was here?”

  “She probably read in the Daily Hare that you were coming to be a part of Carrot Con.”

  “Sure,” Juliet said. “The paper said you’d be speaking with your friends. That’s me.”

  I liked having Juliet call me her friend. My goal was to have her call me boyfriend by the end of my visit. Sure, she was almost eight months older than me, but every good squid deserves a special someone to be salty over.

  “It’s unusual for Lady Beatrice to invite anyone over,” Zeke said. “Especially me. I used to work for her a long time ago, and we didn’t end it on great terms.”

  “Don’t we have a million better things to do?” I asked. “Don’t you remember in Ocean Blasterzoids Issue #3 how Dr. Oily Cod invited those sardines over to his place and they ended up being made into salad dressing?”

  “Of course. But Lady Beatrice is no Dr. Oily Cod. She and her husband, Owence, were the first people to bring bunnies over to the island. They tried to create a bunny paradise, but it didn’t quite work how they planned.” Zeke scratched his head. “Eventually, Furassic Park was shut down, and now all the bunnies that they brought over run wild.”

  “So she’s to blame.”

  “Or thank.”

  “I think most people are happy the rabbits are here,” Juliet said. “This would be just a normal, boring island without them.”

  “And now it’s not normal at all.” Zeke looked happy.

  “Why would they care about meeting me?”

  “There’s no ‘they,’” Zeke said. “Owence died years ago. She probably just wants some company and to thank you guys.”

  I sighed. “So it sounds like we’re going to her house for dinner.”

  “I’d like to see the old place. Plus, Juliet and Rain can come.”

  “It might help my chances at the Junior Miss Carrot contest.” Juliet looked almost as excited as when she had first seen me. “Lady Beatrice Hatch has some pull. And if I win, I get a five-hundred-dollar gift card.”

  “I’ll tell you what,” Zeke offered. “Let’s get ahold of Rain and tell him what’s happening. Then we’ll all get dressed up and go out to the Hatch house tonight for dinner. At the very least, it’s free food.”

  “And at the worst, it could be a trap.”

  Both Zeke and Juliet stared at me.

  “A trap?” Zeke asked.

  “Sure, a mysterious lady invites us all to dinner. It could end up inky.”

  “Let’s take our chances.” Zeke smiled to reassure me.

  “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  Juliet and I hopped onto the Squidmobile, and Zeke drove us to find Rain.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  BAD SMELLS AND BAD FEELINGS

  I had not come to Bunny Island to get dressed up. I had come to see Zeke and Juliet—and to a lesser extent Rain—and to participate in Carrot Con. I had not come to have dinner at a stuffy lady’s house in the middle of the jungle. I didn’t even have any nice clothes to wear. The best I could do was to put on my T-shirt that had a picture of Admiral Uli wearing a tuxedo on it. There was a speech bubble coming from his beak that said, “Dressed to krill.” It was a quote from Issue #29 when Uli had to go undercover as a fancy Engfishman to take out a secret effusion of krill. Effusion is the snobby word krill call themselves as a group. Their uppity attitude was one of the reasons Uli had to take them out.

  Now I was wearing my fancy T-shirt, and I had put on socks so my flip-flops looked more formal. Luckily, Rain didn’t wear anything that much nicer, just a white T-shirt that said Rain Train and long shorts. In the beginning, the two of us had started off enemies, but now we tolerated each other. His bleached hair was shorter than before, and his dark skin and white teeth made him look like a celebrity. Rain was a few years older than me, but he didn’t mind hanging around us because, as he put it, we were weird. The two of us even had a secret handshake that he had forgotten.

  “Tentacles, tentacles, shark fin, shark fin, blowhole.”

  Rain and I sat in the backseat of the Squidmobile, and Juliet sat up front with Zeke. Zeke had put on a collared shirt for the occasion, and Juliet was wearing a denim skirt, and she looked prettier than I had ever seen her. I was going to tell her she looked as nice as the underwater eel moon of Coral Wicket, but I didn’t have the courage.

  “This is exciting,” Zeke said.

  “It is?” I questioned.

  “Yes. We were going to just stay home and have spaghetti. Now we’re having an experience.”

  “I like spaghetti,” I pointed out.

  “You’ll like this better,” he assured me.

  “Is that how you do your hair now?” Rain asked as he looked at me. “Or is it just for tonight?”

  My face burned red. I had been wondering if Rain would say anything about my new do.

  “I cut it myself,” I explained.

  “I could have guessed that.”

  We drove through the town, out past the Bunny Bumps and the clearing, and into a dense part of the jungle I had never explored before. There was a thin dirt road that wound among thick palm trees and massive bushes. I couldn’t see as many rabbits around, but I could hear the sound of strange birds, animals chirping and hollering. It was darker beneath the canopy of trees, and a spooky feeling spread over me like ink.

  “I’ve never been out here,” I said.

  “Me neither,” Juliet added.

  “That’s because no one is allowed on this part of the island,” Rain informed us.

  “It all belongs to Lady Beatrice Hatch and her husband,” Zeke said. “They used to let others come out here about twenty years ago, when the sanctuary was open.”

  “Why did the sanctuary close?”

  “Because Owence died.” Zeke paused for effect. “There was an accident.”

  I couldn’t stop my eyes from going wide. “What kind of accident?”

  “Actually, it wasn’t really an accident,” Zeke said. “I just thought that sounded more exciting. He is dead, but the truth is people just stopped going since they could see plenty of rabbits for free all over the island.”

  The trees closed in and the forest floor grew even darker.

  “This all still feels weird to me,” Rain insisted. �
��Adults never want to just thank kids for anything.”

  “Rain’s right.” I leaned forward in my seat to look at my uncle as he drove. “My dad thanked me last week for not wiping my mouth on the tablecloth, but then when I wiped it on the curtains instead, he went all nuts.”

  “Exactly,” Rain said.

  “It’s not a trick.” My uncle seemed excited. “It’s an honor.”

  “You sound like you actually want to go to this,” I said, confused.

  “Nobody really gets to see her anymore. She’s like the Willy Wonka of bunnies.”

  “That would make sense if she raised chocolate bunnies,” Rain said, sounding as disappointed as I felt. “But she doesn’t.”

  “At least we get to go together,” Juliet said in an attempt to make things seem better. “And this will help her to know who I am when she’s judging the Junior Miss Carrot contest.”

  “You really want to win, don’t you?” I asked.

  “A little, I guess. Okay, a lot.”

  “I get it. We’ll sacrifice for you. But something about it all still feels slimy to me.”

  “It’ll be okay,” my uncle assured me. “It’s just dinner. Really what could go wrong?”

  “That’s exactly what Uli said right before he was attacked by those invisible newts.”

  The forest got thicker and the night grew dimmer. Birds stopped chirping, and just when it seemed like the vegetation was about to close around us completely, the Squidmobile rolled out onto a wide brick driveway.

  And I breathed again.

  The path led to a house big enough to be a small hotel. It was three stories tall and painted a dull shade of yellow. There were vines and bushes growing all over it and a clay tiled roof that was faded from sun and time. In front of the house was a large lawn and a fountain shaped like a bunny with wings for ears. All over the lawn I saw small ceramic bunny gnomes in various poses and colors.

  “Wow,” Juliet said. “It’s beautiful.”

  “I guess,” Rain said. “It looks overgrown.”

  Zeke pulled the Squidmobile around the fountain and up to the front door.

  “I don’t want to sound like a coward,” I told them all, “but this seems like the kind of place where newts would live, or people would go before they turn up missing.”

  Zeke got out and the three of us followed him up six wide stone steps that led to a large front door shaped like a big rabbit head. He knocked on the nose, and the loud hollow sound made all of us shiver. As I looked around, I noticed that there were no real bunnies on the lawn, or anywhere, for that matter.

  “Hey, where are the bunnies?” I asked.

  All of us glanced around.

  “Weird,” Rain said. “Lady Beatrice is the bunny woman. Her place should be swimming in them.”

  “And do we have to call her lady?” I asked. “I don’t get that. Is it just something people do at her home? Am I ‘Man Perry’ here?”

  “More like ‘Boy Perry,’” Rain suggested.

  Before I could protest or get a real answer the door opened, and I immediately recognized the man who opened it as the guy who had delivered the invitation. He was wearing a blue suit and yellow tie now, but he had the same old, squinty eyes.

  “I am Bouncer. Please come in.”

  His words sounded like a long, slow burp.

  “No, thank you,” I said as the hair on the back of my neck stood up.

  “Hello, Bouncer,” my uncle said. “Actually, what Perry meant to say is, we’d love to come in.”

  “Actually,” I insisted, “what I meant to say was—”

  Zeke shut me up by pushing me into the house. Juliet and Rain didn’t need to be shoved. For some reason, they followed my uncle in without hesitating.

  The house was decorated with huge, leafy potted plants and bunny-patterned wallpaper. I touched the edge of a small table and realized there was dust everywhere. If Bouncer was a servant, he wasn’t doing a very good job of keeping the place clean. The floors were ornate marble, and the windows were all cloudy, allowing only weak light to come in. The thing that stood out to me the most was the smell. It smelled like someone had been cooking broccoli in latex paint.

  “Do you sort of feel like you’re walking into a trap?” I said.

  Juliet didn’t reply.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  FURASSIC PARK

  Bouncer stopped by a large coatrack and asked if he could take our jackets. Since none of us were wearing jackets, I think he was probably being sarcastic.

  “I have been instructed to take you to the sanctuary before dinner,” Bouncer informed us. “So if you will follow me to the tram.”

  “There’s a tram?” Zeke asked.

  “It was put in right after you were . . . let go.”

  “That’s a nice way of saying it.”

  “I wasn’t trying to be nice,” Bouncer said dryly.

  We followed Bouncer through the house. He led us down a long hallway and through a dozen rooms before we arrived at a large glass conservatory at the back of the house. Sitting inside the conservatory was a big red-and-blue tram car that was about ten feet long and four feet wide. We could see the tram tracks leading off into the dark of the forest.

  “Will Lady Beatrice be joining us for the trip?” Zeke asked.

  “No” was all Bouncer said.

  We climbed into the tram. There were eight hard wooden chairs, and the cart had windows on all sides so that we could see out in every direction. Bouncer went to the front of the cart and took the driver’s seat. There were two red buttons on a small podium next to a brass lever.

  Bouncer pushed one of the red buttons, and the tram began to shake and hiss. He threw the brass lever forward, and we all lurched back into our seats.

  Slowly, the tram began to move out of the conservatory and away from the house and into the thick trees.

  “I thought we were just having dinner?” Juliet said.

  “This is better than dinner,” I replied, suddenly happy to be away from the smell and heading somewhere mysterious on a mysterious contraption.

  The tram ran on a thin track similar to a train. There was no train engine, just a thick wire in front pulling us forward and through the jungle. There was also a wire on the back that was hopefully going to pull us back after dinner.

  “How long is this ride?” I asked.

  “You’ll see.”

  “Will we still get to meet Lady Beatrice?” Juliet asked. She bit her bottom lip, looking concerned.

  Bouncer sighed. “Unless something drastic happens.”

  “That’s concerning,” Rain said. “It seems like ever since I met Perry everything’s been drastic.”

  “Squids love drama,” I pointed out.

  “Does Lady Beatrice have any children?” Juliet asked.

  A vein on Bouncer’s forehead throbbed.

  “No more questions,” he said.

  As the tram trundled up a small hill, Bouncer began to sing a strange song. His deep, burpy voice and odd manner of speech made the song uncomfortable to listen to.

  “They will hop into your heart from the very, very start.

  They will win your love and favor by and by.

  For a bunny is a friend and a friend until the end,

  And they’ll be with all of us until we die.”

  We shivered as a group.

  And then even though none of us was exactly asking for an encore, he started into another song.

  “If by chance you meet a bunny, do not let it go.

  For every bunny that you capture has four feet, you know.

  Those lucky feet are worth a bundle, worth a coin or two,

  So chop them off and make a wish—you’ll be glad you do.”

  “That one’s even worse than the first one,” I told Bouncer.

  He looked hurt. “I don’t get a chance to sing for many people these days. Years ago, I would take visitors out to Furassic Park all the time. The guests always loved my songs.”

>   “They might have been lying,” I informed him. “Or maybe back then people had worse taste in music.”

  Zeke nudged me. “What my nephew is trying to say is that perhaps you should just whistle.”

  Bouncer began to whistle.

  “You know, salamanders and newts live in jungles,” I informed the three people who weren’t whistling.

  “I’m well aware of that,” Zeke said.

  “Can we promise no newt talk at dinner?” Juliet scrunched her face up. “We’re going to have dinner with one of the most influential people on the island. Do you think I’ll have a chance to give her a preview of my Junior Miss Carrot talent?”

  “What is your talent?” Rain asked.

  “Ventriloquism.”

  “Maybe save that for another time,” I suggested.

  “Okay,” Juliet said with her mouth partly closed and trying to make it look like it wasn’t her talking.

  The tram cart moved out from under the trees into a large clearing where there was a tall wooden wall covered with vines and green growth. In the middle of the wall were two massive gates that swung open as the tram moved through. Above the gate was a weather-worn sign that read:

  FURASSIC PARK

  “Clamtastic,” I whispered.

  “How big is this place?” Juliet asked Zeke.

  “It takes up the whole west end of the island.”

  The tram went over a wide river and through the gates, where it passed over another moat. Everywhere I looked I could see deep green grass. Inside the wall, there were large wire cages with wooden frames. There were abandoned buildings and old vehicles that were so overgrown they were practically part of the forest. The hills in the distance were connected with large tubes, like an enormous hamster city.

  “All this for bunnies?” I asked Zeke.

  Bouncer overheard and decided to answer.

  “All of this for mankind. Bunnies are essential to life.”

  “Is that true?” Rain questioned him. “I mean, they’re cute and all, but essential to life?”

  Bouncer looked hurt. “Imagine your existence without them.”

  “Okay.” Rain closed his eyes and took a moment to imagine. “Not much different.”