Complete Works of F. Scott Fitzgerald UK (Illustrated)

by F. Scott Fitzgerald

  Sometimes he pretended to listen and instead thought how well she was got up--sleek breeches with a matched set of legs in them, an Italian-colored sweater with a little high neck, and a short brown chamois coat. He couldn’t decide whether she was an imitation of an English lady or an English lady was an imitation of her. She hovered somewhere between the realest of realities and the most blatant of impersonations.

  “Miles is so jealous of me that he questions everything I do,” she cried scornfully. “When I was in New York I wrote him that I’d been to the theater with Eddie Baker. Miles was so jealous he phoned me ten times in one day.”

  “I was wild,” Miles snuffled sharply, a habit he had in times of stress. “The analyst couldn’t get any results for a week.”

  Stella shook her head despairingly. “Did you expect me just to sit in the hotel for three weeks?”

  “I don’t expect anything. I admit that I’m jealous. I try not to be. I worked on that with Dr. Bridgebane, but it didn’t do any good. I was jealous of Joel this afternoon when you sat on the arm of his chair.”

  “You were?” She started up. “You were! Wasn’t there somebody on the arm of your chair? And did you speak to me for two hours?”

  “You were telling your troubles to Joel in the bedroom.”

  “When I think that that woman”--she seemed to believe that to omit Eva Goebel’s name would be to lessen her reality--”used to come here--”

  “All right--all right,” said Miles wearily. “I’ve admitted everything and I feel as bad about it as you do.” Turning to Joel he began talking about pictures, while Stella moved restlessly along the far walls, her hands in her breeches pockets.

  “They’ve treated Miles terribly,” she said, coming suddenly back into the conversation as if they’d never discussed her personal affairs. “Dear, tell him about old Beltzer trying to change your picture.”

  As she stood hovering protectively over Miles, her eyes flashing with indignation in his behalf, Joel realized that he was in love with her. Stifled with excitement he got up to say good night.

  With Monday the week resumed its workaday rhythm, in sharp contrast to the theoretical discussions, the gossip and scandal of Sunday; there was the endless detail of script revision--”Instead of a lousy dissolve, we can leave her voice on the sound track and cut to a medium shot of the taxi from Bell’s angle or we can simply pull the camera back to include the station, hold it a minute and then pan to the row of taxis”--by Monday afternoon Joel had again forgotten that people whose business was to provide entertainment were ever privileged to be entertained. In the evening he phoned Miles’ house. He asked for Miles but Stella came to the phone.

  “Do things seem better?”

  “Not particularly. What are you doing next Saturday evening?”

  “Nothing.”

  “The Perrys are giving a dinner and theater party and Miles won’t be here--he’s flying to South Bend to see the Notre Dame-California game. I thought you might go with me in his place.”

  After a long moment Joel said, “Why--surely. If there’s a conference I can’t make dinner but I can get to the theater.”

  “Then I’ll say we can come.”

  Joel walked his office. In view of the strained relations of the Calmans, would Miles be pleased, or did she intend that Miles shouldn’t know of it? That would be out of the question--if Miles didn’t mention it Joel would. But it was an hour or more before he could get down to work again.

  Wednesday there was a four-hour wrangle in a conference room crowded with planets and nebulae of cigarette smoke. Three men and a woman paced the carpet in turn, suggesting or condemning, speaking sharply or persuasively, confidently or despairingly. At the end Joel lingered to talk to Miles.

  The man was tired--not with the exaltation of fatigue but life-tired, with his lids sagging and his beard prominent over the blue shadows near his mouth.

  “I hear you’re flying to the Notre Dame game.”

  Miles looked beyond him and shook his head.

  “I’ve given up the idea.”

  “Why?”

  “On account of you.” Still he did not look at Joel.

  “What the hell, Miles?”

  “That’s why I’ve given it up.” He broke into a perfunctory laugh at himself. “I can’t tell what Stella might do just out of spite--she’s invited you to take her to the Perrys’, hasn’t she? I wouldn’t enjoy the game.”

  The fine instinct that moved swiftly and confidently on the set, muddled so weakly and helplessly through his personal life.

  “Look, Miles,” Joel said frowning. “I’ve never made any passes whatsoever at Stella. If you’re really seriously cancelling your trip on account of me, I won’t go to the Perrys’ with her. I won’t see her. You can trust me absolutely.”

  Miles looked at him, carefully now.

  “Maybe.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Anyhow there’d just be somebody else. I wouldn’t have any fun.”

  “You don’t seem to have much confidence in Stella. She told me she’d always been true to you.”

  “Maybe she has.” In the last few minutes several more muscles had sagged around Miles’ mouth, “But how can I ask anything of her after what’s happened? How can I expect her--” He broke off and his face grew harder as he said, “I’ll tell you one thing, right or wrong and no matter what I’ve done, if I ever had anything on her I’d divorce her. I can’t have my pride hurt--that would be the last straw.”

  His tone annoyed Joel, but he said:

  “Hasn’t she calmed down about the Eva Goebel thing?”

  “No.” Miles snuffled pessimistically. “I can’t get over it either.”

  “I thought it was finished.”

  “I’m trying not to see Eva again, but you know it isn’t easy just to drop something like that--it isn’t some girl I kissed last night in a taxi! The psychoanalyst says--”

  “I know,” Joel interrupted. “Stella told me.” This was depressing. “Well, as far as I’m concerned if you go to the game I won’t see Stella. And I’m sure Stella has nothing on her conscience about anybody.”

  “Maybe not,” Miles repeated listlessly. “Anyhow I’ll stay and take her to the party. Say,” he said suddenly, “I wish you’d come too. I’ve got to have somebody sympathetic to talk to. That’s the trouble--I’ve influenced Stella in everything. Especially I’ve influenced her so that she likes all the men I like--it’s very difficult.”

  “It must be,” Joel agreed.

  IV

  Joel could not get to the dinner. Self-conscious in his silk hat against the unemployment, he waited for the others in front of the Hollywood Theatre and watched the evening parade: obscure replicas of bright, particular picture stars, spavined men in polo coats, a stomping dervish with the beard and staff of an apostle, a pair of chic Filipinos in collegiate clothes, reminder that this corner of the Republic opened to the seven seas, a long fantastic carnival of young shouts which proved to be a fraternity initiation. The line split to pass two smart limousines that stopped at the curb.

  There she was, in a dress like ice-water, made in a thousand pale-blue pieces, with icicles trickling at the throat. He started forward.

  “So you like my dress?”

  “Where’s Miles?”

  “He flew to the game after all. He left yesterday morning--at least I think--” She broke off. “I just got a telegram from South Bend saying that he’s starting back. I forgot--you know all these people?”

  The party of eight moved into the theater.

  Miles had gone after all and Joel wondered if he should have come. But during the performance, with Stella a profile under the pure grain of light hair, he thought no more about Miles. Once he turned and looked at her and she looked back at him, smiling and meeting his eyes for as long as he wanted. Between the acts they smoked in the lobby and she whispered:

  “They’re all going to the opening of Jack Johnson’s night club--I don’t want to go, do you?”


  “Do we have to?”

  “I suppose not.” She hesitated. “I’d like to talk to you. I suppose we could go to our house--if I were only sure--”

  Again she hesitated and Joel asked:

  “Sure of what?”

  “Sure that--oh, I’m haywire I know, but how can I be sure Miles went to the game?”

  “You mean you think he’s with Eva Goebel?”

  “No, not so much that--but supposing he was here watching everything I do. You know Miles does odd things sometimes. Once he wanted a man with a long beard to drink tea with him and he sent down to the casting agency for one, and drank tea with him all afternoon.”

  “That’s different. He sent you a wire from South Bend--that proves he’s at the game.”

  After the play they said good night to the others at the curb and were answered by looks of amusement. They slid off along the golden garish thoroughfare through the crowd that had gathered around Stella.

  “You see he could arrange the telegrams,” Stella said, “very easily.”

  That was true. And with the idea that perhaps her uneasiness was justified, Joel grew angry: if Miles had trained a camera on them he felt no obligations toward Miles. Aloud he said:

  “That’s nonsense.”

  There were Christmas trees already in the shop windows and the full moon over the boulevard was only a prop, as scenic as the giant boudoir lamps of the corners. On into the dark foliage of Beverly Hills that flamed as eucalyptus by day, Joel saw only the flash of a white face under his own, the arc of her shoulder. She pulled away suddenly and looked up at him.

  “Your eyes are like your mother’s,” she said. “I used to have a scrap book full of pictures of her.”

  “Your eyes are like your own and not a bit like any other eyes,” he answered.

  Something made Joel look out into the grounds as they went into the house, as if Miles were lurking in the shrubbery. A telegram waited on the hall table. She read aloud:

  CHICAGO.

  Home tomorrow night. Thinking of you. Love.

  MILES.

  “You see,” she said, throwing the slip back on the table, “he could easily have faked that.” She asked the butler for drinks and sandwiches and ran upstairs, while Joel walked into the empty reception rooms. Strolling about he wandered to the piano where he had stood in disgrace two Sundays before.

  “Then we could put over,” he said aloud, “a story of divorce, the younger generators and the Foreign Legion.”

  His thoughts jumped to another telegram.

  “You were one of the most agreeable people at our party--”

  An idea occurred to him. If Stella’s telegram had been purely a gesture of courtesy then it was likely that Miles had inspired it, for it was Miles who had invited him. Probably Miles had said:

  “Send him a wire--he’s miserable--he thinks he’s queered himself.”

  It fitted in with “I’ve influenced Stella in everything. Especially I’ve influenced her so that she likes all the men I like.” A woman would do a thing like that because she felt sympathetic--only a man would do it because he felt responsible.

  When Stella came back into the room he took both her hands.

  “I have a strange feeling that I’m a sort of pawn in a spite game you’re playing against Miles,” he said.

  “Help yourself to a drink.”

  “And the odd thing is that I’m in love with you anyhow.”

  The telephone rang and she freed herself to answer it.

  “Another wire from Miles,” she announced. “He dropped it, or it says he dropped it, from the airplane at Kansas City.”

  “I suppose he asked to be remembered to me.”

  “No, he just said he loved me. I believe he does. He’s so very weak.”

  “Come sit beside me,” Joel urged her.

  It was early. And it was still a few minutes short of midnight a half-hour later, when Joel walked to the cold hearth, and said tersely:

  “Meaning that you haven’t any curiosity about me?”

  “Not at all. You attract me a lot and you know it. The point is that I suppose I really do love Miles.”

  “Obviously.”

  “And tonight I feel uneasy about everything.”

  He wasn’t angry--he was even faintly relieved that a possible entanglement was avoided. Still as he looked at her, the warmth and softness of her body thawing her cold blue costume, he knew she was one of the things he would always regret.

  “I’ve got to go,” he said. “I’ll phone a taxi.”

  “Nonsense--there’s a chauffeur on duty.”

  He winced at her readiness to have him go, and seeing this she kissed him lightly and said, “You’re sweet, Joel.” Then suddenly three things happened: he took down his drink at a gulp, the phone rang loud through the house and a clock in the hall struck in trumpet notes.

  Nine--ten--eleven--twelve--

  V

  It was Sunday again. Joel realized that he had come to the theater this evening with the work of the week still hanging about him like cerements. He had made love to Stella as he might attack some matter to be cleaned up hurriedly before the day’s end. But this was Sunday--the lovely, lazy perspective of the next twenty-four hours unrolled before him--every minute was something to be approached with lulling indirection, every moment held the germ of innumerable possibilities. Nothing was impossible--everything was just beginning. He poured himself another drink.

  With a sharp moan, Stella slipped forward inertly by the telephone. Joel picked her up and laid her on the sofa. He squirted soda-water on a handkerchief and slapped it over her face. The telephone mouthpiece was still grinding and he put it to his ear.

  “--the plane fell just this side of Kansas City. The body of Miles Calman has been identified and--”

  He hung up the receiver.

  “Lie still,” he said, stalling, as Stella opened her eyes.

  “Oh, what’s happened?” she whispered. “Call them back. Oh, what’s happened?”

  “I’ll call them right away. What’s your doctor’s name?”

  “Did they say Miles was dead?”

  “Lie quiet--is there a servant still up?”

  “Hold me--I’m frightened.”

  He put his arm around her.

  “I want the name of your doctor,” he said sternly. “It may be a mistake but I want someone here.”

  “It’s Doctor--Oh, God, is Miles dead?”

  Joel ran upstairs and searched through strange medicine cabinets for spirits of ammonia. When he came down Stella cried:

  “He isn’t dead--I know he isn’t. This is part of his scheme. He’s torturing me. I know he’s alive. I can feel he’s alive.”

  “I want to get hold of some close friend of yours, Stella. You can’t stay here alone tonight.”

  “Oh, no,” she cried. “I can’t see anybody. You stay. I haven’t got any friend.” She got up, tears streaming down her face. “Oh, Miles is my only friend. He’s not dead--he can’t be dead. I’m going there right away and see. Get a train. You’ll have to come with me.”

  “You can’t. There’s nothing to do tonight. I want you to tell me the name of some woman I can call: Lois? Joan? Carmel? Isn’t there somebody?”

  Stella stared at him blindly.

  “Eva Goebel was my best friend,” she said.

  Joel thought of Miles, his sad and desperate face in the office two days before. In the awful silence of his death all was clear about him. He was the only American-born director with both an interesting temperament and an artistic conscience. Meshed in an industry, he had paid with his ruined nerves for having no resilience, no healthy cynicism, no refuge--only a pitiful and precarious escape.

  There was a sound at the outer door--it opened suddenly, and there were footsteps in the hall.

  “Miles!” Stella screamed. “Is it you, Miles? Oh, it’s Miles.”

  A telegraph boy appeared in the doorway.

  “I couldn’t find the bell.
I heard you talking inside.”

  The telegram was a duplicate of the one that had been phoned. While Stella read it over and over, as though it were a black lie, Joel telephoned. It was still early and he had difficulty getting anyone; when finally he succeeded in finding some friends he made Stella take a stiff drink.

  “You’ll stay here, Joel,” she whispered, as though she were half-asleep. “You won’t go away. Miles liked you--he said you--” She shivered violently, “Oh, my God, you don’t know how alone I feel.” Her eyes closed, “Put your arms around me. Miles had a suit like that.” She started bolt upright. “Think of what he must have felt. He was afraid of almost everything, anyhow.”

  She shook her head dazedly. Suddenly she seized Joel’s face and held it close to hers.

  “You won’t go. You like me--you love me, don’t you? Don’t call up anybody. Tomorrow’s time enough. You stay here with me tonight.”

  He stared at her, at first incredulously, and then with shocked understanding. In her dark groping Stella was trying to keep Miles alive by sustaining a situation in which he had figured--as if Miles’ mind could not die so long as the possibilities that had worried him still existed. It was a distraught and tortured effort to stave off the realization that he was dead.

  Resolutely Joel went to the phone and called a doctor.

  “Don’t, oh, don’t call anybody!” Stella cried. “Come back here and put your arms around me.”

  “Is Doctor Bales in?”

  “Joel,” Stella cried. “I thought I could count on you. Miles liked you. He was jealous of you--Joel, come here.”

  Ah then--if he betrayed Miles she would be keeping him alive--for if he were really dead how could he be betrayed?

  “--has just had a very severe shock. Can you come at once, and get hold of a nurse?”

  “Joel!”

  Now the door-bell and the telephone began to ring intermittently, and automobiles were stopping in front of the door.

  “But you’re not going,” Stella begged him. “You’re going to stay, aren’t you?”