I hadn’t seen him in years. Puberty had been good to him in more ways than one. Never in my wildest dreams could I have pictured someone as awkward looking as Wes turning out like he belonged on the cover of a magazine. Since I wasn’t in any condition to catch up with an old friend of the family, it was better that he’d decided to leave. Trouble seemed to be following me, and I was determined I wouldn’t involve the people who mattered the most, friends of the family included.
It took me a while to calm down enough for Josh to let go. He backed away and offered me a seat on his unmade bed. For a brief second I wondered how dirty his sheets were, and how many girls he’d brought home and screwed on it.
“Start explaining, Cam. It takes a lot to get you upset. You’ve never been one to cry. Spill.”
“I’m in trouble, Josh. It’s bad,” I managed to get out.
“How bad? Like, Cassie bad, or your idea of mischief?”
I tried to manage a smile from his comparison. Our sister Cassie had a checkered past, all because she’d gotten involved with a criminal. Since then she’d turned her life around. She’d joined the police force, and was in a serious relationship with an FBI agent. Her drama aside, I knew my problems were just as severe, at least they would be in our parent’s eyes. “Cassie bad.”
“Holy shit. What did you do?”
Telling him everything would be too difficult. I needed to break the truth to everyone slowly. “I was involved with a married man.”
My brother eyes lit up like Christmas lights. “Bullshit.”
“It’s true.” I looked away because I felt ashamed for my actions.
“Miss Goody-two-shoes went and got herself involved with a married man?” He clapped his hand together and chuckled. “This is fantastic. Now I know they won’t get on me for wrecking the combine.”
“You wrecked the combine? The new one?”
He pointed to me. “Don’t change the subject.”
“Josh this is serious. I can’t buy spare parts and make it new again. I’m in trouble. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
“Why? How did you get involved with a married man anyway? Don’t you spend all your time in a library?”
“You would think that, you big idiot.”
“So who is he?”
I almost choked as the words came out. “My teacher.”
More laughter. “Aw, hell, Cam. You’re in the deepest of shit. Dad might fall out over this. Not his precious little doctor in training. This will kill him.”
“I know,” I whined. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come home yet. It would have been better to tell them over the phone that way they could have gotten all the yelling out of the way.”
“Maybe you should have written it in a letter instead. You could have thrown your phone in a river and pretended you didn’t exist until they had time to get over it. I know what’s going to happen. They’re going to drag you to church first. They’ll think the devil made himself at home in your heart for leaving us.”
I shoved him. “You were the worst person to confide in.”
“Sorry. I can’t help it. This is the biggest mindfuck since…well ever.”
I covered my face with my hands and cried more. “They’ll never forgive me.”
“Forgive you for what?” I heard someone say from outside the bedroom. My sister Callie was standing there. She’d died her hair red and cut it to her shoulders. Her makeup looked professionally done, though I knew she’d probably done it herself in between clients. “Cammie, what the hell are you doing home? Mom didn’t mention it, so I know something must be up.” She walked over and hugged me, only pulling away to give me a once over. “What happened?”
“She’s in trou-ble,” Josh over-enunciated the word.
“With the law?”
I shook my head. “No. Not that I know of. I mean, I don’t think I can be charged with anything.”
My sister pulled me out of Josh’s stinky room and into her own. She patted the bed and she took a seat on it. “Come over here and tell me all about it. I’m sure it’s nothing. You’ve always been one to assume the worst and come out smelling like roses.”
“There won’t be any flowers this time, Cal. In fact, I don’t think anyone can come out of this smelling like roses.”
She took my hand. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. If you need help talking to Mom and Dad I’ll be there.”
“I don’t want to involve you. It’s bad enough Josh knows some of it.”
“If he knows, you better tell me too. He can’t keep a secret to save his life. If I know him like I think, Mom and Dad are already on their way here.”
I wiped away a few shame-filled tears. “I’ve been having an affair with one of my professors for several months. Everything seemed fine until someone took pictures of us and put them on the internet. Now they’re talking about pulling my scholarship. He’s probably going to be asked to step down from his position. It’s a mess.”
I could tell she was in shock. She sat there staring at me as if she’d never seen me before.
“Say something.”
“I never expected you’d do something so careless, Cammie. You of all people. Why? How did it happen? Tell me he lied about who he was. Tell me you didn’t know he was married.”
It was impossible to feel anything but horrible for my actions. My despicable choices had left a lot of people hurt, some destroyed. “I should have said no. I should have pushed him away, but I couldn’t. I was weak when it came to him. I thought he loved me.”
“Jesus, Cam. What are you going to do?”
I shrugged. “Pray my grades are good enough to get me into Stanford without the courses from this last semester. I can spend the summer catching up. I’ll retake the courses I didn’t finish and be ready to move on anyway. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. I can make it work. I don’t have to lose everything.”
“What if Stanford finds out what you’ve done? Could they revoke admission?”
I looked down at my shaking hands. “I don’t know. If they do then my future is pretty much shit. I need that acceptance. James wrote me a letter of recommendation. If the truth comes out his letter won’t count for anything. You know how much that school means to me. What if I’ve come this far only to fail? What if I’ve ruined my life? What if they do cancel my admission?”
“Let me get this straight. Your affair was discovered. They suspended the teacher and threatened your scholarship. Why can’t they just fire the guy and let you finish?”
“The professor I’m involved with is married to the dean’s daughter.” It hurt me to say it out loud. They can do whatever they want. I had to leave. I can’t continue on there with the scrutiny. This was my only option.”
“Is that it? There’s nothing else you’re hiding?”
I shook my head, adamant on keeping the pregnancy for another time. I refused to hurt my parents more. “That’s it. Just the relationship.”
Callie patted me on the knee. “I know it will be a lot for them to take in, but love is blind, dear sister. Family forgives.”
“I hope you’re right. Without them, I don’t know where to go. I just hope Josh doesn’t run his mouth.”
“Was Wes with him?” She asked.
“He didn’t hear.”
“I’m not asking because of that. We’re kind of talking. I wanted to know if he was still here.”
I was shocked. Callie was picky about guys, but I couldn’t get on her about becoming interested in Buck. He’s grown into his body in more ways than one. “He left when I arrived. I didn’t recognize him.”
“Girl, he’s been back for a couple weeks. When he stepped in the door the first time my vagina exploded.”
I rolled my eyes. “Please. I think I’ve had enough relationship talk for one day. I’m tired. If it’s okay with you, I’m going in my room to rest before Mom and Dad come home. I need my energy for our talk.”
She watched me stand up and head for the door. “
I missed you, Cam. It hasn’t been the same since you left for college four years ago. So much has changed. Cassie’s a cop. I got my hair license, and Josh lost his virginity.”
“I’m pretty sure Josh lost his virginity at twelve,” I corrected.
“Eww. I hope not.”
“I’m going to sleep. When our parents get here let me know so I can mentally prepare for the showdown. It’s going to get ugly.”
As I walked into my old room, falling down on the mattress of my childhood bed, I pondered on what to say, or to act, and what I was going to do to come up with a careful solution; one that would allow me to keep my baby and still follow my dreams of becoming a doctor.
Chapter 12
I could hear my mother’s voice downstairs. My eyelids cracked open and I took in my surroundings, finally remembering I’d made it home in one piece. In a matter of seconds she was knocking on my door and stepping inside. “Cam, sweetie, what are you doing home?” She came over and sat on the mattress next to me. Her arms wrapped tightly around my back, and the second I felt them there I lost it. My mom rubbed my back and let me get more tears out. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it. You need to calm down.”
I finally settled, giving her some space to pull out of our embrace. “Sorry. I’m just happy to see you.”
“I’m always glad to see you too, but I know you wouldn’t have come home unannounced if something wasn’t wrong. Are you having trouble at school?”
I shook my head. Of course she’d assume it was about school. “No. I’m pretty sure I’ve messed up my life, Mom.”
“Oh sweetie¸ I don’t think that’s possible.”
“It is. Believe it or not, I’ve ruined everything.”
“Do you want to talk about it, or would you rather wait until Dad gets here?”
The idea of looking into my father’s eyes and revealing my indiscretion made me terrified. “Mom, I can’t tell Dad.”
“Why? What’s going on?”
“I got involved with someone at school.”
“This is about a boy? Oh, Cam, I know you haven’t had that much experience in relationships, but guys are a dime a dozen. The right one will come along when you least expect it, and he’ll make this breakup seem like child’s play.”
She meant well, but my mother had absolutely no clue how wrong she was. “I thought he loved me,” I cried out, sobs following immediately. “I trusted him.”
“Was he unfaithful? Men can be fickle at your age.”
“Mom,” I peered into her blue eyes, grasping at the words that would break her heart. “He’s married. The man I’ve been involved with is married.”
“Married? Cammie, how could you?”
“I tried to stop. I told him I wasn’t interested, but we connected. He comforted me and promised me things. I believed everything he said to me. I thought he loved me.”
My mother held me again, and this time I pulled her closer. I knew if I had to look into her worried eyes again I’d hate myself forever.
“Have you ended things? Is that why you’ve come home? Did you need some time to yourself? Does this guy go to your school? Is that where you met him?”
“He works there,” I confessed.
“Is he campus security? A landscaper?”
“Mom, he’s my professor.”
She let go of me and placed her hand over her mouth. The look of shock on her face said it all. “Please tell me your brother put you up to this.”
I shook my head, tears falling down my cheeks. Everything my parents had taught me, the morals I promised to live by, all shoved aside for selfish acts of adultery. “I’m so sorry, Mom. I never meant to hurt anyone.”
“Oh my god. Cammie, are you in trouble?”
“His wife is the assistant dean. Her father runs the college. Mom, she threatened to take away my scholarship. She has pictures of me. I can’t deny it. She knows everything.”
“What are you saying? Did you get kicked out of school?” I could tell she was about to lose it. My mom usually kept her cool, but this was too much to endure.
“It was suggested I leave. That’s all I know. I packed my things and left the premises. I don’t even know if Stanford will be notified. Without my final credits I can’t get into the medical program anyway. I’m screwed. I’m so screwed.”
My mom stood up and paced. She ran her hands through her hair and mumbled things to herself like she did when she was freaking out. I couldn’t keep it together. Despite the fact that I’d come clean about the affair, she didn’t have a clue about my pregnancy.
“You’ve really put yourself in a terrible position, Cammie. I don’t even think your father and I can do anything to get you out of it. Do you have any idea what this is going to cost you? If word of this gets out you won’t get into any graduate school. How could you be so careless? We taught you better than this. I thought of all people you’d make the right choices.”
“I know,” I agreed. “I said I was sorry.”
“Cammie, I’m going to have to talk to your father about this. I can’t keep this from him.” When she stormed out of my room I gathered it was because she couldn’t look at me without feeling disgusted. I suppose I’d made her feel like a failure. They’d finally gotten Cassie through her tough times, only to have me screw up royally. I didn’t know if they’d ever forgive me for this mistake, especially after they discovered there was an innocent life involved; a part of me I’d never be willing to give up.
The slam of the front door startled me. My mother’s anger left her so enraged she probably went out in the fields to find my dad. I needed to seek refuge until he’d have time to chill. When my dad lost his temper you didn’t want to be in the same zip code.
Deciding it was best to leave the house, I headed to the family barn located on the main ranch property. There were two houses on the property belonging to family members. Uncle Ty and Aunt Miranda lived in one, while the other was occupied by my cousin Isabella, her husband, their daughter, and her grandparents. Since I didn’t want to have to explain my condition to anyone else, I snuck into the barn where most of the family congregated on Sundays when we all would share a meal after church. It was also a hangout for when we had parties, or us teenagers needed a place to take our friends.
I was glad to find the place dark and empty. After turning on a light and getting a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, I plopped down on one of the old sofas hoping to settle. When the door flew open I suspected it was my father, only to discover my cousin Jake and a familiar face from earlier. They didn’t see me in the dim lit room.
“I’m telling you, if you invest now your shares will double in value,” Wes explained.
“I know, but I’ve got bills, and my wife doesn’t like me making financial decisions without her. She’d kill me if she knew I was spending what I had extra on investments.”
“This is for your future. Imagine being debt free when you retire.”
“We own a ranch, in case you haven’t noticed. There is always some kind of major expense.”
“This would provide you with a security blanket. I’m not going to push. I’m just offering my opinion.”
“I’ll talk to Reese and let you know.” I watched Jake, one of Isabella’s twin brothers hand Wes a beer. “Take a load off, man. You’ve been pitching business since you got here.”
“Sorry. I’ve been hanging out with Josh a little too long. Just trying to be productive while I still have brain cells.”
Jake laughed. “Josh has become a little pothead. He hates to lift a finger. He needs a fire lit under his ass.”
“Yeah, well some things never change. Speaking of which, did you know Cammie was coming home?”
When I heard my name being mentioned I sat up, but kept quiet so I could eavesdrop.
“What? No. Are you sure?”
“I saw her with my own eyes, and trust me, I’d know that girl no matter how much time has passed.”
“Don’t get
your hopes up. She’s out of your league, dude. That girl has her mind set on being a doctor. If you want to get laid, stick to Callie. She’s more down to earth.”
Was I hearing him right? I didn’t know whether to be pissed at Jake or happy he was trying to protect me.
“Yeah, I can see where they’re different. Ever since I’ve been back Callie’s been up my ass. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a good time, but I’m not sure she’s the girl for me.”
“If you’re about to talk about what she’s like in the sack I may have to deck you,” Jake announced.
Wes shriveled up his face and shook his head. “Yeah, I wasn’t going to.”
All of a sudden I sneezed, grabbing both of their attention. “Sorry,” I apologized.
Jake turned on another light and sauntered in my direction with Wes following behind. “Cammie? Is that you?”
“It’s me. Guilty as charged.”
“What the hell are you doing home from school?”
“It’s a long story; one I’d rather not talk about anymore today.”
Jake hugged me and then backed away to give me a once over, while Wes crossed his arms, watching me from afar. “It’s good to see you. Wes was saying you were back. Why didn’t you tell us you were in here?”
“I heard my name mentioned,” I said as I turned to address Wes. “I wanted to know if either of you would say something terrible about me.”
Jake cackled. “Yeah right. There ain’t nothing bad to say about Miss Perfect, right Wes?”
I hated when my cousins called me that. If Jake only knew what I’d done. “If I was perfect, I wouldn’t have come home,” I mumbled. “I didn’t expect anyone to find me in here. I was keeping my distance from my parents. Is there anywhere on this ranch I can go to hide?”
“Hide?” Jake asked. “You really are in trouble.”
Wes offered, “I was about to head into town. If you want to tag along I can bring you back later.”
Cammie Healy (Mitchell/ Healy #8) Page 7
