As I darted for the exit I heard her threatening my future. “End this today, or your scholarship with be retracted, and I’ll make sure you never get accepted into any graduate program out there.”
It didn’t take me long after leaving the dean’s office to start blowing up James’ phone. He owed me an explanation. I wanted answers, and I wasn’t going to wait until he was in a better mood.
“Cammie, now is not a good time.”
“I just saw your wife, James. We need to talk. Now!”
The line was silent for a few moments. “Meet me at the house in an hour.”
“Do you have anything to say to me beforehand?”
“I will see you in a bit.” He hung up without notice. For a little while I stood there staring at my phone expecting him to call and apologize. When it didn’t happen I became irate. How could he treat me like this after everything I’d risked for us to be together? None of it was making sense.
James wasn’t at the house when I arrived. Just like the other times we’d met there, I headed upstairs to the back bedroom to wait. While the time passed, I started researching the college and any information I could find on James. There was little listed. He’d won several awards and donated his time to multiple charities. Then I decided to call in for reinforcements.
My sister Cassie was dating a FBI agent. With his credentials he could certainly do a background check on James to see if there was anything out of the ordinary. I knew the results wouldn’t be immediate, but just knowing I may have an solution for everything made the waiting a bit easier to handle.
The call went well. She took down his information and promised to get back to me. Since she was in a bit of a hurry, it was easy to end the call without much explaining. All I said was that my shady professor was hiding something and I wanted to make sure he wasn’t on the FBI’s most wanted list. It wasn’t like I had to nerve to tell her the truth, not yet at least.
James showed up after it had fallen dark outside. He looked rough, like he hadn’t slept the night before. I rushed over to comfort him, completely forgetting about all the unanswered questions I had stored up for his arrival. “Are you okay?” I asked.
“I’m better now. Forgive me for earlier. I have something personal I’m dealing with.”
“I think you should sit down. There’s a few things I need to address.”
“If it’s about your meeting with my wife you can save it. I know about the pictures.”
“So she’s aware we’ve been having an affair. Is that what you were mad about earlier?”
He shook his head and left my comforting arms to pace around the room. “Part of it.”
“Is there anything you’d like to tell me?”
“What else did you need to address?” He changed the subject. I wanted to know why, but something was more important than photos or concerns.
“James, I’m pregnant.”
I don’t know what I expected out of him. I think in my messed up head I assumed he be ecstatic. I figured he’d grab me, spinning me around in celebration. There was no smile. His grin was angry, disturbed even. His eyes lit up as he approached me, taking me wrist as he spoke. “Is this some kind of joke?”
“No,” I pleaded. “It’s true. I’ve been sick. I took a test this morning.”
“My wife. Does she know?” He was almost shaking me. “Did you tell her?”
I pulled out of his hold. “No! Of course not. I’d never do that to you.”
James turned his back to me. He held his hands up in the air and let out a growling sound. “This can’t be happening.”
“It is. I can assure you it’s not a joke.”
He took me by the arm again and started leading me down the stairs. “Where are we going? You’re hurting me, James.”
“We need to make sure. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
Since he was in rare form I decided not to argue. If he needed proof I wouldn’t stand in his way.
The drive to the hospital was worse than being in the house alone with him. He talked to himself the whole way, stammering on about his problems and messed up life.
In the passenger seat next to him I sobbed quietly, suddenly coming to terms with the fact that there was quite a lot I obviously didn’t know about James. This side of him scared me, and I knew there was more to the story than he was leading on. I think during that ride I knew his wife had been telling the truth. I wasn’t the first student James had been with. If she was being honest, I was just a toy to him, and soon I’d be nothing but a mistake, swept under the rug to never be mentioned again.
The wait to be seen wasn’t as bad as I suspected. An hour after signing in we were put into a room and blood was drawn. James continued with his silent treatment, and instead of making a scene, I decided to give him the same cold shoulder.
Having patience wasn’t exactly easy. There was so much I needed to say to him, but the words wouldn’t come. By the time the doctor came in with the results I felt like I was going to vomit all over myself.
She stood with my results in her hands. James walked over to stand at my side. I reached for his hand, and surprisingly he let me take it.
“The results were positive for pregnancy. Since you’re unsure of your last menstrual period I’m going to do a quick sonogram to check the size and get a better idea of a due date. The nurse will bring you in some water. Once your bladder is full enough, I’ll order the tests.”
Halfway through her statement he’d let go of my hand. I tried not to cry, but it was impossible to take in this kind of news and not react accordingly. When I first took the test I’d been excited. I thought this was going to be the reason he finally moved on. I assumed he’d file for divorce. This side of James was unpredictable.
“How could you be so careless?” He asked me.
“It takes two, James. What’s wrong with you today? Why are you being so insensitive?”
“Me? You’re the one who is trying to trap me.”
“Trap you?” Was he really accusing me of doing this on purpose? “I’d never!”
He waved his hands around. “I need some air.” I watched him leave the room, and silently wondered if he’d return at all.
In between tears I drank my water. I didn’t call anyone to come sit with me, or search anything else on the internet. I laid there staring at the white ceiling tiles wondering what in the world was happening to my life once organized life.
James came back into the room following the sonogram cart.
He was my downfall, my reason for self-destructing. He’d done this to me; given me false hope regarding a future I knew we’d never be able to have. Too much scrutiny wouldn’t allow for a happy ending. Too many people had been burned by his wrath, his lies and deceit. Too many truths unraveled, resulting in betrayal and unjustly consequences. What good was a relationship without the ability to trust? I was fully aware of what had to be done, yet as James stood in front of me, his pleading eyes baring into my soul, I knew I’d never be able to let him go. He had a hold on me still, and knowing that made this another worthless attempt to break free. I couldn’t shake this man, even if he took me down with him, forcing me to give up everything I’d ever wanted.
He whispered in my ear. “Cammie, please don’t do this. I’m begging you. You can’t have this baby.”
I turned away, my eyes soiled with my own suffering. I knew if I pretended he wasn’t with me it would be easier. I stared at the wall in the room; a picture of a growing fetus and the cycle of gestation was my main focus. My hand coursed over my stomach, still too small to notice something was growing inside of me. I knew what I wanted, what needed to happen in order for me to live with myself. I was fully aware of what would happen if I let this man have the last say in something so important. This innocent life inside of me had nothing to do with his lies. The child was made because of my love for this man. Whether he felt the same for me, or was just trying to get into my pants was irrelevant. This was my decision.
He stammered backward, unsure of what to say after my out-of-character announcement. “You’ll destroy me.”
I looked at the technician, who I knew didn’t need to hear our business. “Can you give us a second?”
She sat her apparatus down and exited the room abruptly. I didn’t wait for the door to fasten before giving James my full attention. “This isn’t up to you.”
“Cammie, you and I both know you’re not in any condition to raise a baby. You have years of school left, and no family here to support you. The timing is all wrong.” He waited a second before continuing with more lies. “Maybe if it were after my divorce.”
I laughed at his comment. “Your divorce? Seriously? You’re throwing that card now? You and I both know you’re too much of a coward to divorce your wife. This thing between us isn’t going anywhere. You’ve lied to me from the beginning. I don’t know you. Everything you say is bullshit! You’re right about one thing though.”
“What?” He interrupted.
“My family isn’t here to help me. They’re in North Carolina, where I suddenly feel like I need to be. Thinking we could be anything more than some perverted affair was my biggest mistake, but I won’t let this child suffer because of my actions. I’m having this child, and I’m going to raise it on my own.” I pointed to my belly. With eyes full of tears I let him have it.
“You can’t do this to me. You weren’t a perverted affair.”
“Oh cut it with the charm, James. I know about the other students. You think people don’t talk? There were rumors before you ever knew I existed. I was just too stupid to believe them. I saw the look in your wife’s eyes today. She was telling the truth. You’ve been with other girls. I’m not the first, and I probably won’t be your last. I was a fool to think this was special.”
“If you go through with this…”
I pointed to the door, not letting him finish his sentence. “I want you to go.”
“You can’t be serious. How will you get back to the dorm?”
“I’m a big girl. It’s time I stopped worrying about what others will think and do what’s best for me. I don’t need you to have this baby. I have all the love and support I need elsewhere.” I paused for a second to control my shaking. “I want you to leave.”
“You’re in the doctor’s office. I’m not abandoning you.”
“James, go home to your wife. Promise you won’t do it again. Tell her whatever it is you did the last time you decided to screw a student. She obviously forgave you before. I’m done with this conversation. I’ll find another ride home.”
I could tell he was thinking about over minding me. He was old enough to be my parent, which gave him some kind of authority complex, even though he was beneath me in many ways.
When he walked out the door I knew he wouldn’t be returning. He wouldn’t come to my dorm later and beg me for forgiveness. I knew the truth. This was all some game to him, and I’d been a victim.
I had my first sonogram alone. Since I was only about six weeks along there wasn’t much to see. I wasn’t even far enough long to hear a heartbeat. The proof of life was on the screen. A little peanut was inside of me and from that very moment it was pointed out I knew I’d do everything in my power to keep it safe.
It took me a while to get the courage to call for a ride back to the college. Jasmine wanted details, and I wasn’t in any condition to give them, but I refused to leave anything unsettled.
“Come on, Cammie. What happened?” She badgered.
“I’m leaving school, Jas. It’s over. It’s all over. I can’t be here anymore. My relationship was a lie. You were right about everything. My last semester may as well have never happened. I’ll never be welcome on this campus again. I’ve made a mockery of my life. It’s time I accepted what I can’t change and move on with the little bit of dignity I have left.”
“You don’t mean this. Just give it a few days.”
“No. I’m packing up my things and leaving tonight. I have a long ride ahead of me and I don’t need doubts holding me back. I’ve ruined my life. It’s time to go. Please don’t try to change my mind. I need my family. They’ll know how to help me.”
Chapter 11
I hadn’t been back to the ranch in almost a year, having declined to visit for the holidays on account of having to study. The truth was that I wanted to spend time with James, even if I had to sit around waiting for him to break free from his obligations.
Those few days we spent together had meant so much to me. Little did I know it was all part of his game to seduce me. I’d fallen victim to his conning schemes, which only left me pregnant with a broken heart.
The cross-country drive was strenuous. I left on a Monday night and didn’t arrive until Thursday afternoon. I thought my determination would allow for me to drive the three thousand some odd miles straight through, but it was impossible for just one person. I was exhausted, hungry, and more worked up than when I packed my things and decided to come home.
Now I stood in front of my parent’s farmhouse, knowing darn well they’d expect an explanation for this visit, and more importantly a good excuse as to why I’d left in the middle of a semester, on a weekday at that. At least I could do some of my assignments online and turn them in from there. I wouldn’t be forfeiting all my credits, but more than half.
The home was quiet when I entered. Judging from the time, I knew my father was out working the ranch with the men, while my mother and sister, Callie, were probably at the salon. Ever since they’d built a larger facility, their business had been slammed with appointments, so much that they’d hired another cosmetologist to help with the volume.
As I entered into the living room I was taken back by the familiar smell of home. Pictures were hung going up the staircase, memories of us kids growing up into the adults we were now. My parent’s photograph from a recent cruise was the first I came to. They’d aged gracefully. My father, a tall man with the body of a steed, stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders. I knew they were positioned to stand posed in this manner, but it seemed unnatural. His arms were almost always around her waist, his head nestled against her neck as he whispered sweet nothings in her ear. I’d been told that they’d never been able to keep their hands off one another. When I was a teenager it seemed gross and inappropriate, albeit now it seemed natural and more beautiful than I could have ever understood before getting involved with James. In all honesty I think everyone strives to find that perfect match to spend the rest of their lives with. For a brief time I thought what I was experiencing was the real deal. Now I’ve come to understand love and lust are commonly misunderstood. I let my own desires blind me from the big picture. Truth be told, I didn’t know James Willis at all.
A sound resonating from the stairs caught my attention. There could only be one person in the house at this time of day, and as I approached my little brother, Josh’s bedroom, it was clear he had company. “Do it again and you’ll see who fucks with your sister next.”
“If you keep messing with me I’ll shove this paddle straight up your tight ass.”
I almost giggled as I pushed he door to open enough to allow me entrance. Neither of the guys turned to acknowledge I’d come into the room.
“Dude, you had em’. Go to the left. Perpetrate the enemy lines. Do it. Now!” Josh ordered.
The clicking was getting out of control. My hands ached watching it transpire. I crossed my arms in front of me and clear my throat. “You’d think you were fighting for you lives.”
Josh turned around, smiled, then shook his head and went back to playing the game. It was his friend who chucked the paddle on the floor and stood to greet me. “Well I’ll be. Look at who decided to come home for a visit. Ca
mmie Healy in the flesh. I don’t think I’ve seen you since you were in high school.”
I didn’t want to seem rude, but I had no idea who this guy was standing in front of me. He was near six-foot tall, his longer hair tucked back in a backward baseball cap. His jeans were worn, the tight-fitting T-shirt having a few holes in random spots. Muscles protruded from each sleeve, almost stretching the fabric sitting against them. He held out his hand to offer it, and until I saw him smile I didn’t have an inkling as to who this dude could be.
Then the dimples came out, and suddenly I was reminded of a dorky middle school aged kid who’d hung out with my brother. At the time his horse teeth had given him the nickname Bucky, but the pearly whites I was staring at has obviously seen a very reputable orthodontist. “Buck?”
He cackled when I said his name. “What’s wrong? See something you like now? I haven’t been called that in years.” He was cocky right off the bat. “I bet she came home because she heard I was in town.” He said to Josh.
My brother stood and shoved him out of the way. “Pay him no mind. He’s salty since I’ve been banging his sister. He’s trying to get under the skin.” I felt my brother’s arms wrap around me and completely lost it in front of his friend. It didn’t matter if the guy thought I was insane. I sobbed, so much that Josh refused to ask the reason. My brother knew something was seriously wrong, and when I finally had the courage to tell him about it he’d be ready to take care of whoever hurt me.
Isn’t that what brothers are for?
“I better give you some space. Text me later, loser.” He offered a friendly smile while exiting the room.
“Eat shit, Wes.” I’d almost forgotten his real name. Wesley Parrish. His grandfather owned a group of banks in North Carolina and Virginia. When his parents got divorced, Wes moved to Charlotte with his mother, where she later married someone else. Being a year younger than me, and friends with my brother, I steered clear of them. They were always getting into trouble, which was the opposite of how I’d acted back then.
Cammie Healy (Mitchell/ Healy #8) Page 6
