My sister was a few years behind me in school. We didn’t hang in the same circles. She’d been at Duke for two semesters before deciding she wanted to be an artist. My grandfather wasn’t thrilled, but sent her to a school in New York anyway. I hadn’t seen her in months, but apparently she’d been home long enough to hook up with Josh, though I hadn’t yet confirmed it was true. Even if it was, I didn’t really want to know the details.
“I’m asking because I have a friend who may need to switch schools. She’s applied to Stanford, but may not be able to attend. Her family lives here in North Carolina.”
“Do you have any idea what her major was?”
“No. I haven’t asked her any questions. I haven’t even mentioned Duke to her. She wants to be a doctor, so I’m sure it’s some kind of science.”
“Why would you ask me about this if you don’t know she’s interested in attending?”
“I’m just trying to do my homework.”
“I’m not very familiar with the medical student process, but I can make some calls if it will help.”
“Stanford is a good school. Are you sure she won’t be attending?”
I wasn’t sure, but I still wanted to know. After two kisses I wasn’t ready to watch her walk out of my life again. Baby or not, I still wanted to date her. It wasn’t like the father was going to be around. She’d made it clear the relationship was over for good. “I’ll let you know.”
“Medical school is tricky. You have to apply way ahead of time and they base entrance on certain factors. I don’t know if it’s possible to change your university.”
“It wouldn’t be until next year. She has time.”
“I’ll get you some answers,” he assured me. “Is this girl someone you’d like to bring to dinner?”
As much as I would have liked to answer with a yes, I knew it was a small chance she’d agree. “We aren’t in that kind of relationship.”
“That’s too bad. I thought you’d have a girlfriend by now.”
“If the time ever comes, I promise I’ll bring her around. She could be the one. Good things come to those who wait. A smart man told me that once.”
He chuckled. “Yes I did, but just know, sometimes you need to go after what you want, before it slips away.”
His words drew me right to Cammie. My childhood crush was now something more. I didn’t want to get to know her. In my mind I already did. Social media had kept me in the loop for the most part. I knew her history, and what she was like until the age of fourteen. I wanted to be with her. I was more sure now than ever before. Kissing her was like nothing I’d experienced. I knew it was probably because I’d imagined it so many times, so when it happened it was better than expected.
I should have never kissed her. It would have been easier to handle when she never came looking for more. A promise was a promise. I said I wouldn’t push. The ball was in her court now. I could only hope she’d see we had an undeniable chemistry worth exploring. I’d never be like her professor, not when I knew she really could be the one; the one I never got a chance to be with.
Chapter 18
Walking into the house to find my mom and sister sitting in the front room caught me off guard. I stumbled in hoping I could blow past them without the third degree.
I was mistaken.
“Where have you been? I thought you were going to help out with dinner?” My mom questioned.
“I took the horse out for a ride. I spent the afternoon at the swimming hole. I just wanted some time to think.” If only they knew what I’d been thinking about. Scratch that. If they only knew what I was doing and with whom.
“You’ve been gone a long time. Your face is red. Are you feeling okay?”
I sighed. My face wasn’t red because I felt ill. It was flushed because of my interactions with Wes. “I’m fine. I’m out of breath from walking back. How long until dinner?”
“Several hours. Your dad and Uncle Ty went into town to get some parts. He said they wouldn’t be back for a bit. If you’re hungry there is leftovers in the refrigerator.”
“Perfect. I’ll grab something before I head upstairs. I think I might take a nap. I’m still not caught up from driving here. Can you make sure I’m awake for dinner?”
“Sure.” I could feel their eyes on me as I ambled away from them. After grabbing an apple from the kitchen, I made my way up to my room. Once the door was locked I fell onto my bed, hoping sleep could cure my inability to stop thinking of Wes and our make out session.
I’d acted on impulse; clearly something I was terrible at. Now I was more confused, grasping at what the hell I was supposed to do next.
Wes was a great guy. He had so much going for him. His charm was genuine, and when he looked at me I felt like the only other person on this earth. I’d been around him twice since I’d been back and gotten more respect than in my entire relationship with James. It said a lot, albeit left me completely confused.
While alone, I considered what it would be like to stay in North Carolina. I could take some time off from school, have my baby, and find some way to continue with college after I had some footing. Of course, I’d have to finally tell my parents about the pregnancy, and if they decided not to kick me out and never speak to me again, I would have the help I needed to make it work. At the moment I wasn’t very optimistic. I could still see the look on my father’s face. I’d never experienced such disappointment firsthand. It was devastating to me.
Emotions were always something I’d easily been able to control. It was possible my hormones were causing me to lose it so frequently. I promised myself I wasn’t going to get upset for the rest of the day. If I could make it that long I’d repeat the process tomorrow and then the next. I was determined to stay strong, because it was necessary to depend on myself in case I ended up with no one on my side.
When I was nestled under my covers to take a nap, I reached over and fetched my phone out of my jacket pocket. As I pulled it out I noticed a card stuck in the screen. I loosened it and realized it was the one Wes had given me with his contact information.
I stared at the number, reminiscing about the way he’d made me feel earlier. The butterflies were still there, a constant reminder of how he’d gotten to me.
I considered sending him a message. I wanted to reach out to him; to let him know I wasn’t mad.
Instead I did something ridiculously stupid. I sent a message to James instead.
Was any of it real? Did I mean anything to you at all? – Cammie
He replied almost immediately.
What’s done is done. Have you considered taking care of the problem yet? – James
Please answer me. It’s a simple yes or no. – Cammie
No. – James
Like a knife being driven directly in my heart, I had what I wanted. James never gave a rat’s ass about me. He couldn’t have cared less about my feelings. I’d never regretted something so much in my entire life. That’s when I knew I couldn’t go back. There was no way I could face him, his wife, or the scrutiny I would get from my peers. If Jasmine had been right the whole campus had probably seen the photos of us together in compromising situations. I’d made a mockery of my hard work, and now I had to face the devastating consequences.
After that, it was easy to cry myself to sleep. I didn’t think about the nice afternoon, or even Wes. My mind was fixed on my failures, and how I was going to overcome them.
Knocking caused me to shoot up from my sleeping position. I looked around the room to find the sun had gone down. I made my way through the dark area to see who was at the door. Callie stood in a red dress. She’d done her makeup and styled her hair in long curls. “You look beautiful.”
“Thanks,” she replied. “I’m hoping when Wes sees me he’ll want to take me out after dinner.”
I almost choked on my own saliva. My poor sister liked Wes. Little did she know he had his eyes on me instead. I felt horrible about it, but also glad he’d promised to let it be. Maybe
in time he’d be able to give Callie a chance. She was a sweet girl who deserved to have someone treat her right.
“I’m sure the dress will do the trick. I might have to borrow it sometime.” Obviously after I gave birth and fought to get my figure back. Just imagining it was terrifying.
“I hope so. If not, he’s totally gay.”
“Keep me posted on that.” I could smell the aroma of dinner resonating from downstairs and lots of voices. I knew I was late to the party, but refused to care. It was only a meal, and the idea of being in the same room as my father made my appetite nonexistent.
"Is everyone waiting on me?" I asked.
"Duh. Even Josh is downstairs. Didn't you hear us calling you?"
I shook my head. "No. I must have been exhausted."
"He brought a girl, and it's not, Wes' sister."
"Is that surprising?"
"I think he only did it to make Wes think they weren't an item. While the cat is away the mouse will play, right?"
I let out an amused laugh. "I guess."
"Hurry up and get downstairs. We're all starving."
I followed behind my sister, not caring what I was wearing or how I appeared. If I looked half as bad as I felt then they'd stick to eating instead of giving me the third degree.
As soon as I rounded the corner into the dining room, I was facing my father at the head of the table. One glance was all I got before he turned and looked down at his empty plate. I wondered if he'd ever be able to get past what I'd done, and if so, would my pregnancy be the last blow to his already damaged heart?
I found an open seat next to my brother and scooted my chair in before acknowledging anyone else in the room. On the opposite side of Josh was a female I'd never met before. Callie was across from Josh. Cassie, who I hadn't seen since I'd returned home was directly in front of me, her beau in the seat beside her. With my parents at both ends it only left for one more unoccupied spot next to me.
I couldn't look in his direction. There was no way I could keep a straight face with Wes being so close, so I turned my attention to Cassie. "I didn't know you were coming."
"Mom called and invited us. It's good to see you, sis."
"You too. How is the force treating you?"
She smiled and looked at Logan. "There's always crime."
"Have you given anymore thought into the FBI?" Her boyfriend already worked for the bureau.
"I'm working on it. It's tough. If it doesn't work out I'm happy where I am. What about you? Mom told me what was going on. Have you decided what you're going to do?"
I glanced over at my father. I don't know why I did it. I should have expected his angry grimace to be focused on my answer. "I haven't decided. I'm doing some of my assignments online. There's only two classes I'm missing."
"Won't that void your scholarship? Isn't it necessary to maintain your GPA?" Callie asked.
"It's my last semester. Worst-case scenario is that I have to pay to retake two classes. I've doubled up to graduate a semester early, so I'm hoping it will still happen."
"What about Stanford?" A deep voice asked from the head of the table.
Suddenly I felt something touching my knee. I didn't dare turn to address it, but instead understood it was an offer of support. It wasn't going to help me make peace with my father, but it certainly helped me continue. "I'm contacting them first thing on Monday. I'll have to start late on account of having to make up those credits. My MCAT results were great. I'm hoping they take that into consideration. I'd be a good addition to their medical program."
With my father temporarily content, my mother suggested we continue on with dinner. "How about we say grace before the food is cold?"
“This conversation is far from over, Cam. You will fix this,” my father mentioned before clapping his hands together and closing his eyes.
The presence that had been on my leg finally let go as we all bowed our heads for the blessing.
With the prayer being short, everyone dug in to the feast my mother had prepared. I focused on my plate, not trying to draw any attention to the uncomfortable feel I had being this close to everyone who cared about me the most. I felt like an outsider; someone who didn’t belong any longer.
Out of the corner of my eye, from across the table, I caught my sister staring at Wes. When she finally turned away, I leaned in his direction to hint around that he should give it a go. “Callie can’t keep her eyes off you,” I whispered so only he were able to hear.
He replied back with the same low tone. “It’s too bad I’m fixated on her sister.”
Taken back by his answer, I pretended he didn’t exist, only to have more words come out of his sexy mouth. “I promised not to push you. Just know, you’re the most beautiful person in this room, even with that messed up hair and plain clothes. I’m going to think about taking them off you later when I’m alone.”
I flashed a gross out look and got back to my plate, shoving a large stalk of broccoli in my mouth.
“Wes, I don’t know what you just said to Cammie, but she looks downright disturbed over there.” My sister must have seen our little conversation. Of course she’d catch it with her stalker gaze on Wes. It was no wonder he wasn’t interested. She was kind of creepy about it.
“He was telling me how broccoli used to make him sick. He said he threw up on his plate once,” I almost laughed at the fib I’d made up to save face. Wes gently kicked me under the table, to acknowledge I was ridiculous. Out of nowhere I giggled. It was out of character, so I knew I had to further explain. “I’m sorry. It just made me think of the awful things we used to discuss at the table. Dad would get so mad he’d say we gave him indigestion. He wouldn’t even finish his plate.”
My mom snickered. “That’s because he has a weak stomach.”
“Okay, enough of the puke talk at the table,” Dad added. As I turned to look over at him I saw his eyes peering into mine. “After dinner you and I are going to have a serious conversation, Cam. You might already have a plan, but I have some things I want to make clear.”
My appetite was lost. I moved the food around on my plate, but never put another thing in my mouth. I could hear the chatter going on around me, but chose to put myself in an imaginary bubble to pretend I didn’t exist. Sitting in a room with my father, hearing what he was going to say to me, well I knew it wasn’t going to be anything good.
“Yes, sir.”
After the meal was finished, my dad escorted me to the front porch. Instead of sitting, we both stood looking out at the open field. “Are you using drugs?”
Caught off guard I answered quickly. “What? No! Never.”
“I just don’t understand how you of all people could be so careless. What the hell were you thinking?”
“Obviously I was thinking with my heart.”
“Don’t play sarcastic with me. You know better than to get involved with a married man.”
“Really? From what I’ve heard you did the same thing with Mom.”
His eyes lit up. Suddenly my strict father looked as if he wanted to harm me. “Don’t you dare disrespect your mother with your nonsense. She was in a volatile relationship she couldn’t get out of.”
“I was told James was in a loveless marriage for convenience. Had I known he was lying I never would have gotten involved.”
My dad wiped his face and shook his head. “You don’t understand, Cam. We wanted better for you. Now you’ve got regrets. You might have jeopardized your future. Doesn’t that mean something to you?”
“How could you ask me that? Of course it matters. Do you know what it’s like to have everything in order only to watch it fall apart. Now I have the b…” I gasped, realizing what I was about to reveal.
“Now you have what? Is there something you aren’t telling us? Don’t you dare tell me there’s more to this story.”
“I’d rather not discuss any of it. Dad, I love you, but it’s my life. I’m an adult.”
“Then start act
ing like one!” He was raising his voice, as if it got the point across better. “I want this problem of yours resolved within the week.”
My lips were trembling, my eyes burning as I fought back my tears. I couldn’t resolve a pregnancy within a week. If this was his way of telling me I wouldn’t be welcome at home, I didn’t know what I was going to do. The fact was, even if I got my schooling in order, I’d have to take time off to deliver and care for my child.
“Daddy, I’m so sorry, but that’s not going to happen.” It was now or never. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. If they were going to kick me out to teach me a lesson, I needed to know sooner than later.
“What do you mean? What’s the problem? Make some calls. Get this shit worked out.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Explain!”
My hands were shaking. I felt like the little bit I ate for dinner was coming back up. My stomach knotted, and I felt dizzy. I placed both hands on the railing and looked down at the ground. “I’m pregnant.”
His voice was almost squeaky. “What?”
“I’m pregnant,” I whispered. “And I’m not getting an abortion.”
“This isn’t happening. Do you hear me? I won’t let you throw your life away.” He turned to head for the door. “Does your mother know about this?”
“No. I only told you.”
“You’re getting this taken care of, Cammie. I won’t let you give up your future.”
“This isn’t your decision,” I fought. “It’s mine. I won’t get an abortion. I don’t care if you hate me. I don’t care if you kick me out on the street. I won’t kill a child to further my career, and there’s not a thing you can do about it.”
I was so upset I had to get away from him. He was following behind, determined to get through to me. “Come back here, young lady.”
“No! You won’t listen. I’m done talking.”
I darted in the house and began running up the stairs, only to walk into something going on between Wes and Callie. I stormed past them, finally making it into my room where I could lock everyone out. This was a catastrophe, and I was undeniably in heaps of shit.
Cammie Healy (Mitchell/ Healy #8) Page 11
