Rebel Angel: A Sainted Sinners Novel

by Vivian Wood

  “I thought the same,” Ezra said.

  “Well, my trial was more like watching a movie, but the movie was about my life. About my past, the decisions I’ve made and things that have happened to me.” She paused, thoughtful. “I guess the trial was sort of… trying to show me something?”

  She glanced at him, looking for reassurance.

  “I experienced that, too,” he said, keeping it simple. “What did yours show you?”

  “Well, I haven’t really had a lot of time to think about it yet,” she said. “It showed me a lot of really wonderful moments in my life, and a lot of the painful things too. It was a lot to take in.”

  “I understand,” he said, nodding.

  “Do you know what yours meant?” she asked, her brow furrowing.

  “I believe it was meant to show me that blind obedience is foolish, and that I should try to serve myself better.”

  Aurora pursed her lips, then nodded. “I could see that.”

  They were silent for a few beats. Aurora glanced down at her hands in her lap, looking as though she were struggling a bit.

  “Ezra, I—” she started, raising her gaze to meet his again.

  Ezra cut her off, leaning down and pressing his lips to hers. If she was about to rebuff him, he needed to at least kiss her first.

  The barest touch set off something inside him, and Aurora’s reaction said she felt the same. As he slanted his mouth over hers, she opened for him. She made a soft sound, half a sigh, her hands rising to rest on his shoulders.

  He cupped her jaw, speared his fingers into the wildness of her damp hair. Tilting her head back, Ezra kissed her desperately. Poured every single ounce of the heart-pounding, possessive hunger he felt into the kiss, hoped like Hell she’d understand.

  Aurora wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, moving forward to melt against him. Ezra was on fire, struggling not to rip off her clothes, take her hard and fast and brutally. She was so responsive, sighing and arching into his touch, her tongue meeting his boldly. When he ran his thumb along her collarbone, he could feel the flutter of her heartbeat, the silky softness of her skin driving him higher and higher.

  Slowly, he became aware that they were coming to a divisive point. Adrenaline and emotions running high, they were both starving for one another, but Ezra knew he couldn’t be the one to make the first move.

  He wanted her more than anything, but their first time together she would have come to him.

  Ezra slowed the tempo before pulling back. Aurora’s looked up at him with passion-darkened eyes, making stopping all the more difficult.

  “I want you,” he said, his voice low and rough. He cupped her face in his hand, his thumb tracing the fine line of her jaw.

  “You have me,” she said, turning to kiss his palm. “Take me.”

  He captured her hand in his, then slowly shook his head.

  “Not tonight. I want you so badly, I don’t even have the words for it, but…” he hesitated.

  “But?” she pressed.

  “But I want you to be sure. And tonight, after everything that’s happened… you said it yourself, you haven’t even had time to process any of it. When I take you to bed, I want all of you. Unreserved, wild, and free.”

  She watched him for a second, her throat working as she swallowed. “Ezra…”

  “I don’t want anything less, Aurora. You’ve spent the last few years running, I don’t want to be one more thing you run from. We both deserve more than that.”

  “How do you know what I deserve?” she challenged.

  “You should have the whole world, if you want it. All

  Aurora dropped her gaze, but nodded. “Okay.”

  Ezra leaned close and kissed her once more, slow and deliberate. “Will you sleep next to me tonight?”

  Her flashing azure gaze ensnared him, but she shook her head. “No.”

  Ezra nodded, though part of him wished she would push harder, insist that the connection between them was undeniable. Certainly Ezra thought it was, but cautious Aurora…

  “I just need to know… I need to know you’re sure,” he said. “I only want you if you’re sure you want this.”

  Aurora gave him a humorless smile, pulling free from his grasp. She rose, turning toward the door, then turning back. She stared back at him for a beat, her brows knit.

  “I will think this through,” she said. “I promise, I will have an answer before I kiss you again.”

  “That’s all I can ask,” Ezra said, giving her what he hoped was a comforting smile.

  She watched him for a moment longer, then bowed her head and left the room. The door shut behind her, the sound of it echoing through Ezra’s mind.

  You did the right thing, he told himself. You care for her, so you are taking care with her.

  Still, it was a cold comfort as he sprawled on his bed, achingly alone.

  16

  Aurora

  Aurora spent her night tossing and turning, the trial of truth and her discussion with Ezra weighing heavily on her mind. She thought again and again of the images the trial showed her, the wonderful moments spent with her family, and then the low points…

  After her mother and brother died, she was too busy running to really mourn. Her sadness hadn’t come all at once, but over a long period of time. Not just months, but years. Fits and spurts, days where she couldn’t get up out of bed for the agony pressing down on her.

  Now, the deepest of her wounds had closed, but she felt… alone. These last few weeks with Ezra brought her isolation to the forefront, made her realize that she’d missed having someone in her life.

  Someone who would listen, someone who cared whether she lived or died. Until this month, there’d been no one to notice if she packed up and left town over night.

  And sure, her roommate Vesper might have noticed. Might have even put out some feelers in the city, trying to make sure Aurora was okay.

  But in a few days or a week, Aurora would have faded away, and Vesper and Kirael would’ve gone right on with their lives.

  Even living with Vesper so long had been a step forward for Aurora, better than the fleabag rent by the week motels and hostels she’d previously preferred.

  But there was something about Ezra, something that made him… care. It wasn’t just his duty as a protector, though that was the element that brought them together.

  He asked about her family. He saw to her comfort. He noticed details.

  He saw her, really saw her.

  For too long, she’d been invisible. By her own design, she’d cut herself off from everyone and everything…

  She’d stranded herself, lost at sea.

  But here, Ezra offered a life raft. He didn’t ask for anything, just offered himself.

  What had he said to her?

  I only want you if you’re sure you want this.

  But how could she be sure? How could anyone be sure of something like… Well, what would she even call it?

  Love came to mind. She shoved the word aside; it was just too big for her right now. The very word felt dangerous.

  But Ezra did offer her so much. He was strong, loyal, steadfast. He was handsome. Beyond handsome. At times just looking at him made her feel like she was in freefall, the world dropping away beneath her feet.

  He was intelligent and wise, careful and cautious but also bold if the situation called for it.

  Really, there was no question that he was a wonderful man, that they fit together.

  The issue lay with Aurora, because she didn’t know what she wanted. She’d been moving so fast for so long that she’d never let her emotions catch up to her.

  Now, going slow… it was a challenge.

  Rolling over in bed, she kicked the covers off.

  There was a niggling voice in the back of her head, bringing up her trial of truth again and again. The pattern it represented, something she should understand.

  She mulled it over for the hundredth time, but still couldn’t q
uite grasp it.

  Instead, she turned her thoughts to what she and Ezra had achieved. They’d freed her brother and her mother, Ezra practically walking through fire to help Aurora do what she needed to do.

  And yet, she felt unsatisfied.

  So what do I want? she wondered. If that’s not enough, what more could I possibly want?

  The image of Ezra flashed in her mind, the morning she walked in on him fresh from the shower. Damp hair, dark eyes filled with questions, beautiful sculpted body hidden by nothing more than a white towel.

  Yes, yes, she thought to herself. You want Ezra.

  But there was more, and she knew it. Pressing her hands over her eyes, she struggled for a few moments. Then she sat up in bed, looking around the room. As if she’d find the answers she sought on the mirrored vanity, on the rolling rack of clothes Kirael had delivered.

  She rose and walked to the window, staring out at the gardens. All was still and silent. She sat on the window ledge and let herself fade out for a moment, until a soft sound caught her attention.

  In the tree closest to her window, only a hundred yards away, she saw the flutter of wings. Two birds swooped down and landed there, identical except for their color. One was black as a raven, the other white as a dove.

  The birds sat on the same branch, inches from one another. Heads cocked, they seemed to stare right back at her. Challenging, almost.

  It was an odd sight, even in the gardens. She hadn’t seen any birds other than the crystal hummingbirds in the enchanted forest, yet here they were.

  Sitting. Waiting.

  Aurora stood and pulled the window open, throwing it wide as she called out to the birds.

  “Shoo!” she yelled.

  Both birds took flight in an instant, rising until their wings were silhouetted against the moonlit sky.

  Dark wings. White wings.

  Aurora pressed a hand over her heart, feeling the thudding rise of its beat. Dark wings, white wings…

  The birds wereas a sign. There wasn’t a moment’s doubt in her mind, only a frenzied moment of understanding.

  Two birds, one white and one black.

  Two angels, one from Heaven, one from Hell.

  “Armeros,” she whispered, sinking down to sit at the window again. “And… Belial.”

  The moment she said their names aloud, she knew it was right.

  It was madness, sheer and utter madness to think she could take on two of the most powerful creatures in the universe.

  And yet… in her heart of hearts, Aurora knew that she had to try. Not just for her mother. Not just for Jackson.

  It was for herself, for the heartache and suffering they’d caused. Not just to Aurora, but to thousands or millions of innocent souls, caught up in the war between Heaven and Hell.

  Rubbing a hand over her eyes, she realized that the actual fight might be nothing compared to the fact that she’d have to explain herself to Ezra.

  She imagined the look on his face when she dropped such a bomb on him.

  Hey, I want to kill Armeros and Belial. Cool?

  Followed by his expression of absolute horror or furious anger. She could just picture him lashing out.

  When will it ever be enough, Aurora? he’d say.

  Exhaustion finally began to weigh on her, so she stood and shut the window. Climbing back into bed, she rolled herself in the comforter and closed her eyes.

  She dozed, only lightly, but one thing played over and over in her mind. A moment replayed during the trial of truth, when she stood with her atop a three-story platform. Jackson had talked her into bungee jumping, something she was way too afraid to do on her own.

  Somehow Jackson had convinced her to go with him, wearing a double harness. Something about the promise that he’d be by her side… literally strapped to her body.

  Then they got up to the top of the platform. Standing there, tightly harnessed together, they both peered down into the ravine below, a lazy river snaking its way past them.

  There they were, so close, and yet… Aurora clung to Jackson, threatening his life if he jumped before she was ready. Aurora just stood there, sweating, staring down over the platform, frozen with fear.

  Jackson knew her so well, he waited patiently, talking her through her fear.

  It’s just one step.

  Let go, Aurora.

  You can do it.

  We’ll both go down together.

  Call it a leap of faith…

  The joke did the trick, drawing her out of herself and making her smile.

  She gripped Jackson’s hand, they counted to three, and then they jumped off together…

  17

  Aurora

  Aurora sat straight up in bed, still feeling like she was falling. Sunlight streamed in the window now, telling her she’d slept long and hard.

  Her heart was pounding, but she wasn’t afraid. That moment of terror, the second where she stepped over the edge, it was done in a second. It was hard, but after that, she and Jackson were screaming and laughing and flying.

  It was one of the best moments in her life. She’d never felt anything close to it, except the moment when she’d held on tight and let Ezra fly her straight up to Heaven.

  Call it a leap of faith…

  Maybe it didn’t resolve her feelings for Ezra, but perhaps the trial of truth had highlighted one important thing.

  Many of the best moments in her life had started with a leap of faith. Aurora opening herself up to someone, being open with her mother or brother.

  And yes, there were times in her life that her openness had hurt her. After her mother and Jackson died, she’d wanted to die, too. She’d closed herself off, played it safe, never let herself stick around long enough to trust anyone.

  But if she wanted something, wanted anything as badly as she wanted to defeat Armeros and Belial, she’d have to take a risk.

  And that risk started with Ezra, with telling him what she wanted to do. If he refused, threatened to leave, she’d find a way to do it on her own.

  But if he stayed…

  If he agreed to help her…

  Maybe her leap of faith would bring her more than just vengeance.

  There was only one way to find out.

  Throwing back the covers, she rose and got dressed.

  To her surprise, Ezra was still in his room when she went looking for him. After searching the house, she ended up outside his door, knocking lightly.

  After a moment of muffled thumping and cursing from the other side, he opened the door. He was still shirtless, his hair tousled in a way that only managed make him look sexier.

  “Hi,” she said, mustering her courage.

  “Mmmf,” he muttered.

  “You look tired,” she said, biting her lip.

  “Yeah, well. I have a lot on my mind,” he said.

  She could feel his gaze traveling up and down her body as he leaned in the doorway. Her face heated with both pleasure and embarrassment; she loved the thought of Ezra finding her sexy, but she was also a little ashamed that she’d lost him a night of sleep.

  Not only that, but she hadn’t come to any real conclusion about their future, either.

  “How about I make you coffee?” she offered.

  His gaze snapped up to hers, instantly suspicious. “Why?”

  Aurora had to laugh at that. “You’re cranky in the morning.”

  “I usually don’t talk to anyone before I have my third cup of coffee,” he admitted.

  “Which is why I want to make you some coffee. I want to talk, but not until you’re…” she paused, then waved a hand. “More you.”

  Ezra frowned at her. “This is me.”

  “Just… come into the kitchen when you’re ready,” she said.

  He gave her a wary glance, but nodded and turned away. He didn’t bother to close the door as he rummaged through his suitcase, expression dark as a thunderclap.

  Aurora swallowed down her anxiety and headed to the kitchen, going thr
ough the motions of making coffee and tea. She even laid out pastries, since Ezra seemed to prefer them.

  He appeared a few minutes later in jeans and a t-shirt. Barefoot, which Aurora found attractive for reasons she didn’t quite understand. The big bad Fallen angel, barefoot and sipping coffee as he sat next to her.

  His facial expression wasn’t nearly so charming. He looked like he expected her to punch him right in the stomach at any moment.

  Just say it, she told herself. Get it over with.

  Once he was settled on a kitchen stool, coffee in hand, she took a deep breath.

  “I want to punish Belial and Armeros,” she said.

  Ezra sputtered, spitting coffee back into his cup. He sat the mug down, giving her an odd look. After a moment, he actually laughed. Leaned his elbows on the bar, dropped his face into his hands, and laughed long and hard.

  Aurora watched him, baffled.

  “Ezra?” she ventured after a moment.

  He raised his head, looking at her with a grin.

  “You want to fight Armeros and Belial,” he said, shaking his head. “Is that all?”

  Aurora crossed her arms, feeling defensive. “I know it’s a lot…”

  “It’s a suicide mission,” Ezra said, his amusement fading.

  “Ezra…” she said, winding herself up for an inspirational speech. “I know I have no right to ask for your help, but—”

  “I’ll do it.”

  “I—” she started, then stopped. “What?”

  “I’ll do it. I’ll help you.”

  “You will?” she asked, starting to wonder if he was joking.

  “Maybe I didn’t make this clear before,” he said, leaning back in his chair and giving her a thoughtful look. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, if you asked.”

  She stared at him for a long beat, her heart in her throat.

  “Nothing?” she asked.

  “Nothing,” he said, his tone slow and sure.

  “Oh. I just thought… you seemed… kind of angry,” she said, feeling relieved.

  “I thought you were going to tell me…” he said, then cut himself off. “Never mind.”